


Aural Pleasure

by Unda



Category: One Piece
Genre: Aphasia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 01:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 92,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unda/pseuds/Unda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It'd be almost funny if it weren't so terrible, out of a whole sandy beach the directionally challenged Zoro manages to find the one rock to land head first on." Zoro has to learn to talk again and in the process learns a bit about listening to Sanji. Zosan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sanji remembers it clear as day even now, though it's been six days he can still close his eyes and see the scene playing behind his eyelids on repeat. The crew are having a fight against some marines, there are a decent number of them with some skill to make it a challenging fight but there are also a lot of barely skilled marines there to be cannon fodder. It's the irritating thing about numbers in a fight, if one side has an awful lot more people then regardless of skill sooner or later they're going to get lucky.

The marines got lucky.

He remembers the scream first of all, more of a yelp of surprise really but there was enough mounting horror in it to render its classification as a scream. He turns in the direction of the scream, some part of him recognising it as the sound of a nakama in trouble. His eyes land straight away on Zoro, on the man whom he never worries about because Zoro can handle himself, because Zoro is tough and strong and knows better than to do something dumb like getting killed. His eyes land on him as he's falling backwards off of a cliff, their eyes connect for a split second and Zoro looks startled, irritated but then almost… peaceful.

Zoro just seems to hang there in the air for a moment, just looking at Sanji as the marine that bodily tackled him off of the cliff is pulled back by his fellows leaving Zoro alone in the air over the edge of the cliff. A cliff is possibly the worst place in the world to have a fight, why the hell did they even fight the marines here in the first place? Then time speeds up sickeningly and Zoro disappears from view, plummeting down the side of the cliff. He hears Robin yell and sees her arms cross in the corner of his eye as he launches himself to the edge of the cliff. He sees Zoro falling now, but he's long out of Sanji's grasp and travelling too fast for Robin's blossoming arms to catch him. He hears a bone crunching snap from one of her arms as she gets a good grip on him trying to slow him down or save him, she screams and the arms vanish leaving Zoro to plummet alone.

Sanji can see it happening before it happens and he's powerless to stop it or do anything at all except stare in horror. Zoro's tumbling through the air falling fast now to the beach below. The beach is sandy apart from one large rock, one that Zoro is heading towards at high speed. It'd be almost funny if it weren't so terrible, out of a whole sandy beach the directionally challenged Zoro manages to find the one rock to land head first on.

Zoro's head cracks on the rock in a spray of blood and he rolls off to the side in a crumpled heap.

Everything after that is… not so clear. He remembers kicking and killing a path down the cliff to Zoro with the rest of his nakama uncaring about anything other than whether Zoro was alive or dead.

The image of Zoro laying there on the sand is one that he is unlikely to ever forget. Zoro is lying motionless with his almost nonexistent breathing the only clue to his status as alive. The back of Zoro's head however looks like raw hamburger, a mess of blood, hair and skull fragments making up the gruesome picture. The one thought that Sanji still can't repress is how much blood there was, across the rock, over Zoro's previously white shirt and soaked into the sand around him. Sanji remembers skidding to his knees at Zoro's side and a part of his brain noting that the sand is wet and… warm. He remembers looking down at the dark red sand and seeing his knees sink into it and blood, Zoro's blood, pooling around the depressions that he's making in the sand. Zoro's eyes are half open and unseeing and Sanji can't bear to look anymore.

Chopper fetches a board to carry Zoro on, wary of any spinal injuries and Franky gives a quick assessment of the back of Zoro's head and declares that he can help fix the swordsman. Sanji helps where he's told, efficient and cold as he gets boiled water, clean towels and soap to Chopper's medical room. When Chopper and Franky emerge on deck hours later and say that they've done all they can for now and that he'd live Sanji falls apart. His legs give out, dropping him to the floor though thankfully close enough to the rail for him to puke over the side and pass out as all the worry and stress finally catches up with him.

That had been six days ago. Six days of worry, six days of fear and stress, six days of not knowing if Zoro would ever wake again. Sanji doesn't know anything about brain surgery or even too much about how the brain works, he doesn't know which bits do what or where the Zoro-ness of Zoro is in his brain. All he knows is that Zoro fell and cracked his head open on that rock and hasn't woken up since. Even if Zoro does wake he doesn't know if it'll be Zoro that wakes up, he's heard tales of men waking from a blow to the head as an entirely different person. Zoro could wake up and not know how to use his swords, Zoro could wake up and be someone else, or Zoro could not even wake at all. Sanji doesn't know which he considers the worst option.

It's midday on the sixth day when Zoro finally wakes. Sanji is chain smoking on the deck when Franky's triumphant yell reaches his ears, the whole crew charge down below decks to Chopper's medical room. None of them have been allowed to so much as see Zoro at all since he was taken down there so they all excitedly peer around the door.

Zoro is sitting up weakly in bed, his eyes bleary but alert. His head is swathed in bandages around his forehead to cover whatever has happened to the back of his skull. His face is bruised but not terribly so, after all it was the back of his head that took the real impact. His wrists and elbows are all bandaged up but there's no sign of casts so it doesn't seem like Zoro severely broke anything. Chopper has hopped up on the bed now, obscuring Zoro's face from their view as he checks the swordsman over.

"His eye response is normal. How do you feel Zoro?" Chopper asks, shining a torch in his eyes repeatedly. Zoro groans and bats the tiny torch away, his face a picture of displeasure at being poked and prodded by the little doctor.

"How does the back of your head feel Zoro? Do you have any feeling in your scalp? I did my best but you might be a little numb, nerves can be a little funny." Franky says looking at Zoro with concern.

Behind him the others are celebrating that Zoro is alive and well, Nami and Robin are hugging jubilantly with tears of joy running down their faces. However Sanji can't ignore the hot flare of anxiety that hums in his blood as Zoro's face takes on a shade of panic as he looks at Chopper and Franky in distress.

"Zoro? What's wrong?" Franky frowns reading Zoro's anxiety as well as Sanji has.

Zoro's eyes widen and his skin blanches in obvious panic as his hands fly to his ears. He rubs the heels of his palms at his ears and hits the side of his head as if he's got water stuck in his ear. Franky is quick to grab Zoro's wrists to stop him, the man's had enough head injuries this week, he doesn't need more self inflicted ones. Identifying a problem Chopper leaps forward with a small instrument and peers inside one of Zoro's ears. Zoro stills momentarily, realising what Chopper's doing.

Behind Sanji the celebration pauses and their nakama look on worriedly, something clearly is not right.

Chopper pulls back from Zoro's ear and frowns. Sanji doesn't like that, a frown isn't what he wants to see from Chopper right now.

"Your ears look fine Zoro, what's wrong? Do they hurt?" Chopper presses worriedly. Zoro stares at Chopper fearfully and opens and closes his mouth a few times before shaking his head desperately.

"Zoro, talk to me!" the little doctor insists, the fear rising in his own voice.

Zoro squeezes his eyes shut and his mouth opens and closes a few times helplessly, Sanji can see that the swordsman is breathing faster as panic grips him. Finally sound comes from Zoro's lips.

"Ahuhgluf." He utters and his own eyes snap open in surprise as if the garbled sound hadn't come from him. Clearly panicking Zoro tries again only for more nonsense sounds to come from his mouth.

"What the hell?" Franky finally asks for all of them. Chopper is sitting weakly on the blanket, looking at Zoro with barely suppressed tears in his eyes.

"Zoro, I need you to listen carefully to me. Don't do what I do." Chopper says and then nods encouragingly. Zoro watches him wide eyed and then hopefully mimics him, nodding his head in agreement and points at his own ears.

"Has he gone deaf or something?" The cyborg asks with concern evident in his voice. Chopper looks up and seems for the first time to notice Franky and everyone else looking on with worry and fear for Zoro in their eyes.

"No, he can hear us just fine. It's aphasia." Chopper says quietly and sits down on the blanket, laying a hoof comfortingly on Zoro's shoulder and rubbing soothingly. It seems to do something to calm Zoro's nerves a little. He rubs at his eyes quickly, well aware that he shouldn't be seen to be crying in front of others lest he cause panic in his nakama.

"It's total aphasia, it's very rare and I've never seen a case like this before, only read about it." Chopper answers in a weak voice.

"What's that?" Franky asks with a frown, reminding Chopper that they're not all doctors here.

"Do you ever get that sensation where you've forgotten a word and it's on the tip of your tongue but you can't quite grasp it? It sometimes happens with names. Well, every word at the moment for Zoro is like that. And everything he hears is gibberish to him, he can't understand us." The little doctor explains quietly. Sanji notices that Zoro watches him with wide eyes that reveal no understanding of Chopper's words.

At his side Luffy stirs for the first time since it became clear that all was not well with Zoro.

"But you can fix him right? He can get better can't he?" Luffy demands loudly, his hands clenched into determined fists at his sides. Chopper looks down at the blanket, almost as if he's ashamed of himself.

"Not really. I mean, people get better from it sometimes, and sometimes they don't. Helping them relearn words is helpful if it's only partial aphasia, but that requires some understanding of other words first. There's not much that I can do about it, he's unlikely to be able to read and write at the moment either, he's completely isolated from us." The reindeer explains almost tearfully, he looks up at Luffy guiltily, as if this whole thing is his fault.

"No! I won't accept that!" Luffy yells and lunges forward and grabs Zoro by the shoulders and shakes him.

"You've got to be able to talk and listen again Zoro! You need to defeat Mihawk and become the world's greatest swordsman!" Luffy yells shaking Zoro. Zoro looks a little scared but doesn't react at all to Mihawk's name. Usually just mentioning the name of that man who Zoro has sworn to defeat will set off a steely hard look in Zoro's eyes and spur him into a bout of especially vigorous training. But now… now he doesn't even recognise the sound of a name that Sanji's heard him speaking even in his sleep.

Luffy seems to realise this same horrifying non-reaction to Mihawk's name and stumbles backwards into Franky. Sanji can hear him muttering 'no' over and over again under his breath. But there's nothing Luffy can do, nothing any of them can do. This isn't a foe that they can fight, or a prison that they can rescue Zoro from or even an ailment that they can cure. They're all helpless.

Sanji slides down the hallway wall numbly and stares at Zoro who is still looking around in mute worry, not understanding the words that they're all saying or comprehending the extent of his terrible fate.

Zoro is ordered to stay in bed for at least a few days more before getting up and going back to cluttering up the deck. From what Sanji hears from Franky and Chopper the swordsman is starting to fall silent almost all of the time, he's clearly aware that no one understands his speech and nor can he understand anyone else's.

When he is finally allowed above deck the rest of the crew quickly learn that they can communicate with Zoro to an extent through mime. Even with this limited form of communication though Zoro is becoming reclusive and quiet, he'll rarely mime to anyone unless he really needs something that he can't get himself. If one of his nakama try to mime something to him to include him more often than not he'll just smile back reassuringly and go back to being silent and solitary. This makes Sanji inexplicably angry and he has no one to take it out on. He can't yell at Chopper or Usopp, that just makes him feel bad, nor can he yell at Franky or Luffy because they either don't care or just ask him what they've done wrong, and clearly yelling at the ladies is not an option.

Zoro's always been the one person that he can scream at and fight with for no reason at all with. Zoro's always been up for a fight with him, except now Zoro can't understand his insults or even argue back and so all of a sudden Sanji can't take his anger out on anyone. It's like he's full of steam and without Zoro to vent it on he's boiling over.

He's not so much as heard Zoro say a real word for well over a week and surprisingly he finds that he misses the marimo's voice. And now that the others are happy communicating with him through mime it seems that he may never hear Zoro speak again.

What's worse is that Zoro seems to be getting depressed, he's barely training and he's spending more time alone just staring out at the sea. Part of Sanji feels sympathy for Zoro, it must be so isolating to not be able to talk when he wants to or to understand the words being said to him. But a large part of Sanji is furious and lonely at the same time and he doesn't want to examine too hard why that is.

This is why on Zoro's fifth day of silence Sanji finds himself in an inexplicably black mood when Zoro enters the kitchen. Zoro has taken to just getting what he wants if he can't or doesn't feel like asking for it through mime. Zoro strolls forward through Sanji's kitchen as if he owns the place and Sanji is so tense and irritable that he starts to feels his hackles rise even at such a small transgression.

Quickly he thunks his foot into the other counter, blocking Zoro's way in. The marimo startles at the movement and looks at Sanji with confusion written on his face.

"Sit your ass down, you don't just take what you want from my kitchen." Sanji growls and jerks his head towards one of the barstools.

Zoro looks blankly from him to the barstool and back again before tentatively taking a few steps towards it and sitting down in what is clearly a guess as to what he'd said. Satisfied Sanji nods and goes back to shredding lettuce for lunch. Zoro sits there for a while in confusion before grabbing Sanji's sleeve and miming drinking something.

"I don't serve mimes in my kitchen, asshole. If you want something you fucking ask for it." He growls, feeling the anger fizz in his blood as he smacks Zoro's hand away. He doesn't give a shit if Zoro can't talk, he's going to damn well make Zoro say something, anything.

Zoro gives him a bemused look before getting back up off of the stool and going around the counter in an attempt to get into the kitchen proper again. Sanji blocks his path again and stares the confused looking man down. Zoro tries to shove past him but Sanji just shoves him back and keeps his balance firm. Zoro glares back at him and a deep threatening growl slips from his lips, it's the most Zoro like sound that he's heard since the man plummeted off of the cliff. Something inside Sanji calms at that and he lowers his leg but keeps his hand pressed against Zoro's chest as an idea occurs to him.

"Stay." he orders, holding his hand up in a stop gesture. He backs up until his back hits the cupboard and turns to quickly grab a large pint glass from inside, he fills it with cold water and turns to Zoro with it held aloft. Zoro's face lights up a little and he reaches for the glass.

"Ah, ah. You don't get this unless you ask for it. You want water so ask for it." he insists, pressing one hand against Zoro's chest to keep him at a distance and the glass in his other hand held away from Zoro.

Zoro whines and makes another swipe for the glass but Sanji's reach is longer and he manages to keep the glass away from Zoro.

"Speak marimo, I know you can!" Sanji snaps, grabbing Zoro's face and squeezing until his jaw opens.

"Water." he repeats slowly and jiggles the glass at he does so hoping desperately that Zoro will get the message.

Zoro's eyes narrow and he makes one last quick attempt at grabbing the glass and fails. The swordsman steps back and folds his arms defiantly, he gives Sanji one last stiff stare and turns to leave.

"You're pathetic." Sanji accuses quietly. Zoro freezes at that, he might not be able to understand Sanji's words but he can read his tone clear as day. Emboldened at that knowledge Sanji continues.

"I guess the Zoro that I knew must have died when he fell off of that cliff because you aren't him. The Zoro I know wouldn't give up on talking just because it was hard, the Zoro that I know would fight." Sanji says goadingly, he wants Zoro to react, needs him to so that he can know for himself that Zoro didn't die when he fell. He needs to know that the Zoro he knows is still in there.

But Zoro is standing still with tense shoulders and his back to Sanji, so he presses harder.

"You," he states and pokes Zoro between the shoulder blades, "are a coward."

Zoro spins on the spot with a snarl and lashes out at Sanji. The cook was expecting this though and dances back out of Zoro's reach, somehow managing to not spill any of the water as he does so.

"Say it." he challenges and smirks at Zoro, that always baits the other man's competitive instinct.

"Water." Sanji says slowly and gestures to the glass.

Zoro glowers at him but Sanji just stares straight back, he's sure Zoro understands him now and he's not backing down first. Zoro rakes a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath as if preparing to practice a new and challenging sword move.

"Ahn..ah." Zoro manages to force the sound from between his lips. He scowls angrily at himself, he shakes his head at Sanji as if to say no but Sanji isn't going to let Zoro quit that easily. Sanji grabs his arm and holds him firm, worried that the other man is going to leave the room.

"Water, marimo." Sanji insists.

Zoro lets out at light huff of breath, almost a laugh Sanji thinks, before leaning forward and staring at Sanji's mouth intently. He's got no idea what the marimo is doing but when Zoro quirks an expectant eyebrow at him he realises that Zoro wants him to repeat himself again.

Sanji does so and finds himself irrationally fascinated by Zoro's intense stare at his mouth. Zoro's eyes and forehead scrunch up in concentration as he tries to bypass whatever it is in his brain that's rendered the previously sharp tongued man either unintelligible or mute.

"Wal…ger." Zoro says slowly and clearly with a lot of effort.

"Ah! Close!" Sanji exclaims hopefully, perhaps Zoro really can get his speech back after all! Zoro clearly isn't pleased with his close but inaccurate repetition and gestures to Sanji to repeat himself yet again.

"Water." Sanji says as clearly as possible.

"Wait...er." Zoro tries and then growls angrily at himself and shoots Sanji a look that clearly insists that the cook repeat himself again.

This continues for a number more rounds with Zoro unsuccessfully repeating slightly different words. He works his way through waller, wharf-er, washer, waster, walker and finally waiter again. The swordsman slams his fist angrily on the work surface, he can clearly understand his own words well enough to know that he's saying it wrong. The stubborn swordsman obviously doesn't want to give in out of spite to Sanji but he's starting to go around in circles and Sanji is considering telling Zoro to leave it because he's close enough when Zoro shocks him by sticking his fingers in Sanji's mouth.

Sanji tries to escape at first, thinking that perhaps Zoro is trying to attack him. But aside from refusing to take his hand away despite Sanji's struggling he doesn't do anything else. One of Zoro's fingers is pressed lightly against Sanji's top lip with the next one on the space between Sanji's parted lips and almost pressing against his teeth, Zoro's third finger is pressed against Sanji's lower lip. Sanji stills and Zoro adjusts his touch to be lighter on Sanji's lips. When Zoro looks at him expectantly Sanji realises that Zoro wants to feel him speak as well as see it.

Sanji swallows, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. Zoro's eyes are intensely locked on his mouth and his fingers are still and certain. Sanji tries to get his mysteriously fluttering pulse under control and remember what he's supposed to be doing.

"Water." He says shakily and manages to look Zoro in the eyes whilst he does it. He feels Zoro's fingertips following the path of his lips as he speaks. Hesitantly Zoro lifts his other hand to his own mouth and, with his eyes shut, tries to feel out the same pattern on his own mouth. Zoro's trying out sounds now, trying to bend the sounds coming out of his mouth to match the ones that he felt Sanji say. Sanji's frozen in anticipation, the glass of water in his hand trembling slightly. He's indescribably anxious to hear Zoro say a real word deliberately, he needs Zoro to be able to do this with a fierceness that he didn't know he was capable of.

"Water." Zoro breathes quietly, his eyes shut in concentration.

Sanji's grin is sudden and wide and Zoro's eyes snap open as he feels it spread under his fingers. Sanji can see the penny dropping in Zoro's mind as he connects the sound that he just made to Sanji's massive grin.

"Water." Zoro repeats as if he is afraid that he'll be unable to say it again. Zoro laughs joyfully at the word and Sanji can't help but join in with the man's laughter. When he and Zoro's laughter has subsided a little Zoro downs the glass of water in one, like a man who's earned it which, Sanji thinks, he has. It's seems so simple, Zoro can speak now, Sanji knows that he has the ability, he has proof. All he needs to do is teach Zoro to speak again, one word at a time.

Whilst Sanji cooks he manages to teach Zoro two more words, useful ones. Yes and no. He doesn't want the man nodding and shaking his head like an idiot forever. Although he's not sure how much good it'll do Zoro to be able to say yes and no if he can't understand a word Sanji is saying. That's a problem for later though. It also seems that Zoro learns words best if he gets to touch Sanji's lips and follow along with his own speech. It… flusters Sanji a little in a way he doesn't want to think too much on, but it helps Zoro so that's that.

Come dinner Zoro has laid the table and is sitting down in his usual seat whilst the others file in chattering away. Zoro looks out the window with a glazed look on his face, he's quite obviously tuned everyone else's conversation out. He used to do that before he lost the ability to understand people, he wasn't ever overly interested in the minutiae of everyone else's day and even less so now that he can't understand a word of it. Sanji doesn't blame him.

"You'll never guess what." He announces as he sets down a generous bowl of pasta in the centre of the table.

"So tell us then." Franky snorts and reaches to dish himself up some pasta, batting away Luffy's grasping hand across the table.

"Zoro's starting to speak again, I got him to say a few words!" Sanji smiles happily and lays down plates of fresh handmade bread and olives. This makes several of the table sit up in surprise suddenly, they all look at Zoro in hope, but of course Zoro's not been listening to a word anyone's been saying.

"That's incredible! So it's all coming back?!" Chopper gasps excitedly, leaning over the table to stare at Zoro.

"Well, slowly I think. He still can't understand us I don't think, but I got him repeating stuff and he knew what he was saying. Maybe when he learns a word again he'll understand us?" Sanji suggests scratching at his head thoughtfully. He'd not really given much thought to Zoro's lack of comprehension, Zoro was bright enough to work out what people were saying if he really tried.

Zoro turns idly back to his plate, apparently done with staring aimlessly out of the window and startles to see everyone staring at him expectantly. The crew stares at him waiting for him to suddenly speak again after being silent for so long. Zoro levels everyone a 'what the hell?' look.

"Ah, he doesn't know what we've been talking about. Zoro, Sanji says that you can speak now. Is that true?" Nami says loudly and slowly with exaggerated gestures. Sanji winces inside, Zoro's not deaf or stupid, he just can't speak their language suddenly. Zoro gives Nami a look that suggests precisely how impressed he is with her, which is to say not very.

"Zoro, show them you can talk. What's this?" Sanji prompts instead, pointing to the large pitcher of chilled ice water on the table.

Zoro's brow wrinkles in confusion so Sanji points at the water again. After a few moments he sees the comprehension dawn on Zoro's face. The marimo opens his mouth as the crew look on expectantly.

"Ah-" Zoro tries abortively. He scowls at himself realising that 'ah' isn't the right sound. He touches his fingers to his lips and closes his eyes for a moment. Sanji finds himself nodding, Zoro's trying to remember how the word felt in his mouth, that's fine, Sanji wants him to get it right after all.

Zoro opens his eyes again and looks warily at the rest of the table. Everyone is looking at him expectantly. Chopper's eyes are wide and hopeful with his soft little reindeer ears twitching with hope. Sanji knows how much everyone wants Zoro to be back to normal and he can practically feel the tension hanging in the air. Zoro's starting to look uncomfortable now. Nevertheless the swordsman shakes himself slightly and tries again

"Ruh-" Zoro stammers. Usopp snickers and Zoro's cheeks pink and the tips of his ears turn bright red. He looks self consciously at his nakama and Sanji can see him floundering.

"Zoro, what's up with you? I know you can do this!" Sanji snaps feeling irritated. Zoro is making him look bad, like he's just picking on him or something. If anything this makes Zoro look more uneasy.

"He seems as mute as he's been since he woke up. Making sounds isn't talking Sanji, he probably just mumbled something that sounded like water is all. It's just dumb luck." Usopp shrugs and bites into his bread with a disappointed look on his face.

"Usopp's right Sanji, sometimes we can want to hear something so badly that we do, regardless of whether we actually did or not. If Zoro was throwing sounds together to try to talk it's not hard to believe that you misinterpreted because you wanted to hear him speak, we all do." Chopper says with big kind brown eyes shining up at Sanji. Fuck kind though, Sanji knows that Zoro spoke!

"I think you embarrassed him Sanji, you should be more sensitive." Nami clucks her tongue disapprovingly.

"I'm not- that's not it. He spoke, he really did!" Sanji insists but the rest of his nakama have started dinner (except for Luffy who started ages ago) and are tactfully ignoring Zoro's embarrassment. The others clearly either don't believe him or don't want to press the issue, as a result dinner is tense and awkward.

Zoro hesitates when the others leave the table, he looks as if he doesn't know whether to stay or go. Carefully he stands up and starts collecting dishes. Sanji feels anger rolling under his skin like oil on water. His nakama either didn't believe him or disapproved of him "embarrassing" Zoro, Zoro showed him up! He's staring angrily at the empty sink and hopes that Zoro will go when he hears the other man put the plates down. Instead though Zoro's hand brushes Sanji's back and tugs on his sleeve at his elbow.

"What?!" Sanji snaps spinning around and smacking Zoro's arm away. Zoro steps backwards eyes wide in surprise. Zoro's mouth struggles around words that he can't say, no sound comes out though.

"Why didn't you just say something?! I know you can! Did you do it just to humiliate me?!" Sanji snarls, his fists balling at his sides. Zoro's look of startled confusion speaks volumes, he can't understand a word that Sanji is saying but he reads his tone and his body language just fine. That's fine by Sanji, he wants Zoro to know that he's furious with him!

"I was trying to help you, you asshole! But no, you had to be an ass! I wouldn't put it past you just to play dumb to embarrass me!" He continues yelling, Zoro looks panicked and shakes his head.

"No!" Zoro gasps out.

He and Zoro freeze at the same moment with Zoro's solitary no hanging almost physically in the air between them. Sanji's eye twitches. He swings a kick at Zoro's head, he swings it wide though and lets Zoro duck it, even in his anger he doesn't want to scramble Zoro's brains further.

"If that was so easy jackass why didn't you say something earlier?!" Sanji yells angrily. Zoro glowers and shoves him back but remains silent.

"He… he really can talk." Chopper's small voice says quietly. Sanji and Zoro both freeze and turn in the direction of Chopper's voice. Unnoticed by either of them Chopper was standing quietly by the door, and apparently the little reindeer heard everything.

"I don't think he's not talking around us to make you angry Sanji. With aphasia stress can make it worse, perhaps he just feels more relaxed around you?" Chopper suggests thoughtfully, his little hooves tapping thoughtfully on his furry chin.

Sanji snorts and gives the little doctor a look that suggests that his explanation is not likely to be the correct one. Relaxed around each other? That's laughable. He and Zoro are always arguing and fighting, what kind of sick relationship would they have if that was relaxing? No, that's definitely not it.

"Whatever it is Sanji, you are now the one responsible for getting Zoro to talk again." Chopper declares banging one hoof against the flat of the other in a decisive manner.

"What?! The hell I am! This asshole can learn to talk by himself!" Sanji says irritably. He's not going to be Zoro's goddamn mother for however long it's going to take the marimo to get his vocabulary back. Especially if Zoro's going to practically molest every word out of his lips.

Chopper however has other ideas. The little reindeer's eyes turn big and watery as if the kid is on the verge of tears.

"But… if you don't then he may never get better. The Zoro that we know might be gone for good. If you can teach him you have to, or… or…" Chopper sniffles pathetically.

Sanji winces at Chopper's tiny sad furry face. Big wet tears are starting to spill over the edge of his eyes now, matting the little reindeer's fur. He really doesn't want to spend the rest of his time with the bastard marimo, but he's not a heartless bastard. How can you say no to that face?

"I… okay." He mutters hanging his head. Chopper flings himself at Sanji and wraps his little arms around his waist.

"Thank you so much Sanji!" Chopper squeals delightedly and dashes off before Sanji can think better of his decision and change his mind.

This leaves him alone in the kitchen with Zoro. Zoro gives him a perplexed look, clearly having understood nothing of Sanji and Chopper's exchange. Sanji scowls at the man who is the source of all his problems. Zoro scowls back and, with a lack of any other form of communication, flips him off.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to Penguins-in-America-Oh-My for being my beta for this!

The next morning, as always, Sanji is the first awake. His nakama are gently snoring around him, fast asleep. He needs to be up first so that he can cook for them. He passes Zoro's sleeping form curled softly in his hammock before thinking better of it. He backtracks and kicks Zoro's hammock with his foot to jostle the swordsman awake. Zoro looks up at him blearily and scowls.

"Come on, if I have to baby-sit you all day then you at least should have to get up early with me." Sanji orders quietly so as not to wake the others. Zoro sits up and grunts his acquiescence. He stretches his arms above his head so hard that his heels rise up from the floor leaving him standing on his tiptoes with his body stretched in a lean shirtless arc. Sanji catches himself staring for a few seconds but manages to pull his eyes away as Zoro yawns and cracks his neck. He looks down at his shoes and scowls to himself, it's not like he hasn't seen Zoro like that before. And it's not like he appreciates the view or anything, sure there were guys who might appreciate Zoro's body, he knew enough about rumours of sailors on ships to know that that was true. But he'd never been like that. This wasn't to say that he thought that there was anything wrong with that, it left more ladies for him after all, and if it made people happy then who was he to say different? Cautiously he glances back at Zoro but the sleepy marimo is almost fully dressed now and just putting his boots on.

He shakes these odd thoughts loose from his head and climbs up the steps out of the bunkroom, he hears Zoro's heavy footsteps behind him so he knows without looking that the man is following him. When he and Zoro are out onto the lawn deck with the door to the men's bunkroom shut behind them he decides to light a cigarette. The familiar cheek warming flame and the hit of nicotine into his lungs soothe his nerves.

"Right," He says in a smoky breath, "Let's see if you can make yourself useful why I try to teach you to talk again."

He's talking more to himself than Zoro, heck, he's not even looking at the man. So he's not expecting it when Zoro grabs his sleeve violently and spins him on his heel so that he's facing Zoro with his arms pinned to his side in the swordsman's iron grip. Zoro's eyes are wide with shock and… a tinge of hope if Sanji is right. After a few seconds of stunned silence from both parties Zoro shakes him impatiently.

"Let me go you oaf! Stop staring at me like some stupid goldfish!" Sanji finally snaps, shaking Zoro's now loose grip off of his arms.

"You wrinkled my suit you bastard." He mutters glancing down at his slightly crumpled shirt sleeves, and he'd only just got dressed too.

When he looks up at the other man Zoro has his hands over his ears with an amazed expression on his dumb face. A current of worry surges through Sanji, is Zoro in pain or having some sort of brain problem again?

"Zoro?" He asks worriedly. A delighted laugh slips from Zoro's lips and once again he grabs Sanji's poor abused suit in one hand and makes a 'keep going' gesture with the other hand.

"What? I don't understand. More what?" Sanji frowns. Again Zoro's expression becomes one of unfettered joy and in his excitement he gathers Sanji up into a bone-crushing hug and spins him around excitedly.

"What's gotten into you Zoro? Put me down!" Sanji demands, squirming in Zoro's arms.

"No!" Zoro laughs excitedly into his ear.

"Don't you 'no' me! Let me go!" he insists, thumping his one free fist against Zoro's shoulder.

"No." Zoro repeats against his skin. Sanji can feel Zoro grinning, he can feel the man's white teeth against his skin. For some reason he shudders.

A thought occurs to him slowly. As the idea steals over him he stills in Zoro's arms.

"Did you just answer me?" He asks leaning backwards so he can see Zoro's grinning face.

"Yes." The marimo answers, his grin so wide that Sanji thinks it might split his face in half. This time he pulls properly away from Zoro and stares at him in disbelief, could Zoro really understand speech again? Or was Zoro just speaking again? Perhaps he was just pleased that he still could, that he hadn't forgotten words again overnight. Zoro could say yes and no without understanding a damn word Sanji was saying. He needed to test this.

"Okay then… prove it. How many swords do you fight with?" Sanji asks in a neutral voice, he doesn't want Zoro picking up any cues from his speech as to what he's asking. But lo and behold Zoro holds up three fingers and grins excitedly.

An excited laugh bubbles up through Sanji and spills out loudly, Zoro joins him and before too long the two of them and guffawing like morons. When their laughter simmers down they drift into the galley together, Zoro settling down on one of the barstools as Sanji flits around turning the lamps on. Zoro's grin is Cheshire cat wide and for the first time in what seems like forever Sanji feels like he has Zoro back for real, for some reason he can't wipe the grin off of his own face either.

"Well, this is going to be a lot easier if you can understand me." Sanji muses aloud. Zoro beams at him from his barstool, enough to make Sanji feel a little uncomfortable.

"If… if you can understand words surely you can speak them again. Isn't that how this works?" Sanji frowns at Zoro. Zoro shrugs slightly and purses his lips in thought. He huffs a calming little sigh and opens his mouth. Nothing but nonsense syllables come out leaving Zoro looking incredibly frustrated.

"Well, nuts." Sanji grumbles, Zoro groans in agreement.

"Better get breakfast started then." Sanji sighs and turns back to his cupboards, of course this whole thing wouldn't be that easy.

He scowls at the contents of his cupboard, how the hell was he going to teach Zoro to talk again? He supposes he could just go for the 'point at shit and name it' tactic, but then how was he going to teach Zoro any form of grammar or anything abstract? You can't point at bravery and name it, well, unless you were to point at Usopp and say 'not that'. Shit, how did people teach children to talk? Didn't they just pick it up from hearing people? But if that was the case then surely Zoro would have had his speech come back by now. Anyway, from what Chopper said it seemed like that bit of Zoro's brain was damaged somehow, so he probably wouldn't just get it even though he could understand what Sanji was saying already. Damnit, this was hard.

Zoro tugs on the back of his shirt and Sanji realises that he's just been staring into this cupboard for ages, the marimo probably thinks that his brain's dribbled out of his ears or something.

"I'm fine." Sanji answers offhandedly and starts getting out some preserved peaches to make specially filled pastries. He gathers his ingredients together as he thinks. He's already got bread and preserves as well as some cold cut meat that they can have for breakfast and some nice honeyed yogurt too. Special pastries will be the icing on the cake. He starts talking out loud as he cooks.

"So, I'm guessing this thing is like a muscle. The more you talk, the better you get at it, the more likely everything is to come rushing back – hopefully. So, I'll try and teach you, but none of this miming shit. If you know the word for something I expect you to say it, even if you don't get it right straight away. Got it?" He says seriously, glancing up at Zoro. The man nods agreeably, he gets the idea of training. Zoro's eyes widen after a second and he speaks.

"Yes." He answers with a little smile.

"That's better." Sanji grins in return and continues breakfast. Zoro looks a little bored and picks up the can of peaches in an idle manner. He tilts the can this way and that in his hand and squints at it.

"I take it you still can't read then?" Sanji asks curiously as he rolls out the pastry.

"No." Zoro answers with a shake of his bandaged head.

"I always wondered if you could before, what with how stupid you are." Sanji grins, pleased at being able to tease Zoro again. Zoro looks surprised suddenly and reaches into his pocket; his expression seems to tell Sanji that whatever he has is for him, curious Sanji cranes his neck to see what it is that Zoro's pulling out of his pocket. The man's face suddenly gets an "ah-hah, found it!" expression on. Zoro pulls his hand back up out of his pocket and flips Sanji off.

"Fuck you too." Sanji fumes and snatches his peaches back off of Zoro. His anger fades a little though when Zoro's laugh rings through the room. He had thought before Zoro woke up that he might never hear him laugh or shout ever again, he reminds himself that this isn't so bad and at least Zoro is still Zoro, even with an incredibly limited vocabulary.

"So… Chopper said that the reason you weren't able to talk at dinner is probably because it stressed you out, apparently stress makes this aphasia thing worse. That's what you've got is called by the way." Sanji explains as he trims a peach with his knife.

Zoro looks a little irritated but doesn't say anything.

"Did it stress you out? Trying to talk in front of everyone?" Sanji ask curiously. He's never thought of Zoro as shy by any means but perhaps he is a little, besides, everyone was staring at him something awful.

"No." Zoro answers petulantly, his bottom lip sticking out a little. Sanji laughs at that, knowing that Zoro's real answer is yes.

"So… I guess I'm gonna have to teach you how to talk whilst I cook, you're probably going to end up learning a lot of words you won't use a lot." Sanji concedes. Whilst being able to name everything in Sanji's kitchen will no doubt be helpful in here but it's not going to do Zoro an awful lot of good in the real outside world.

"C-c-" Zoro struggles with the sound. Sanji looks up and the marimo instantly flushes an embarrassed red.

"Go for it, what are you trying to say? Something I just said?" Sanji quizzes, trying to treat Zoro's attempt at speaking as normally as possible, embarrassing the marimo will definitely stress him out and make this whole process harder.

Zoro nods sharply, his fingers on his own mouth as he silently tries the sound a little more.

"Cuh…" Zoro mumbles with a frown.

"Cook?" Sanji guesses, running his previous words through his head to find one that fits the sound that Zoro is making.

"Yes!" Zoro exclaims and stares at Sanji expectantly. Sanji repeats himself again and after a few false starts Zoro is able to accurately copy him.

"Cook!" Zoro declares brightly pointing at Sanji. Sanji blinks in shock at him before snarling around his cigarette.

"Don't say that like it's my name! My name isn't cook, you idiot swordsman!" Sanji snaps ignoring the inherent contradiction in his own words.

"Cook." Zoro repeats again with a smirk.

"You bastard! My name is Sanji, San-ji! Say it!" He demands. Zoro puts an over exaggeratedly confused expression on his face and holds his hand up to his ear as if he can't hear Sanji.

"Hm? Cook?" He teases.

"Oi, oi! Don't act like you can't hear me, I know you can! Say my name damnit!" Sanji shouts angrily. He knows that he's acting angry but really inside he's overjoyed at being able to have a fight with Zoro again, he feels somewhat more in balance now, before he had just felt adrift. Unfortunately though at that moment the rest of the crew walks through the door and Sanji catches Zoro's evil grin for the split second it's on his face before he changes his expression to a fake confused and hurt.

"Zoro's got his hearing back?" Chopper gasps in delight, throwing himself at the marimo.

"Damn right he has!" Sanji snaps, glaring at Zoro.

"Sanji, are you shouting at poor Zoro again? It's really not fair, he's injured and he can't understand what you're saying!" Nami says scolding him immediately, her voice going high with irritation.

"I- what?! No, mellorine, he can! He got his hearing back this morning!" Sanji insists desperately.

"Poor Zoro, ignore Sanji." Nami coos, rubbing the marimo's green hair.

"You bastard! Don't manipulate… Zoro?" Sanji cuts himself off, instead of looking smug or faking innocence Zoro suddenly looks extremely worried. The marimo glances back at him and gestures at him to continue talking.

"What's wrong?" Sanji asks in concern. Zoro shakes his head and sighs in nervous relief, his face tense. Zoro catches his eye, points at Nami and shakes his head with a genuinely worried expression on his face.

"What's he doing?" Nami asks with a frown.

"I don't…" Sanji says in confusion as he watches the worried Zoro.

"Are you saying that you can't understand Nami?" He guesses. Zoro nods sharply at that, his face a picture of fear. It's one that Sanji's insides are echoing. If Zoro is losing his ability to understand again then he could slide back to not being able to understand him at all or not being able speak at all again. He's not sure that he or Zoro could cope with that.

"But he can understand you? What's so wrong with my voice?!" Nami squawks indignantly.

"That's very unusual!" Chopper pipes up in his high voice.

"Oh my." Robin agrees.

Zoro's head snaps around to Robin instantly, his eyes wide. The archaeologist and the swordsman look at each other for a moment and understanding flashes in Robin's eyes.

"Swordsman-san, do you understand me?" She asks carefully. Zoro nods urgently in response and shoots Nami and Chopper a confused look.

"What's so special about you and Sanji?" Franky wonders aloud, scratching at his head.

"Yeah, why them? I'm your captain Zoro, you have to understand me!" Luffy demands loudly, bouncing to the forefront.

Clearly completely baffled Zoro looks from Franky to Luffy and then with a worried look back at Sanji. He points to Franky and nods and then points to Luffy and gives a 'sort of' hand gesture.

"This doesn't make any sense!" Sanji exclaims, Zoro nods along in agreement.

"Yohoho! I think I may have the answer!" Brook trills musically, Zoro stares in confusion at the skeleton.

"It seems like pitch and vocal range affects how easily Zoro understands us! Sanji and Franky both have quite deep voices and Robin's lovely alto is very smooth and even, so understandably easier to pick up!" Brook laughs excitedly, his voice high with amusement.

"You understand me in this tone of voice now, Zoro?" Brook asks in his more serious, deeper voice. Suddenly Zoro's eyes sharpen on Brook and he nods.

"So, if you understand us, does that mean that you can speak again?" Usopp asks eagerly, looking at Zoro. Zoro shifts in his seat to look at Sanji, his eyes conveying perfectly well that he doesn't understand a damn thing that Usopp just said to him. It must be pretty frustrating for the marimo to have such selective understanding.

"He wanted to know if you could talk now, seeing as you can understand most people." He explains to Zoro, he figures that Zoro has been left out of enough conversation recently to make him not translating for Zoro when it doesn't hurt him a bit of a dick move. Having explained he figures he'll answer for Zoro, or else Zoro might try to talk again like he did yesterday, which had only succeeded in making people think Sanji was a liar and Usopp laughing at Zoro's expense.

"Not really, and not in front of lots of people. He can't understand you either, maybe you should come back when your balls have dropped Usopp." He retorts, remembering how the sharpshooter had embarrassed the pair of them yesterday. He doesn't miss the sly grin curling the edge of Zoro's lips. Usopp splutters indignantly and stomps off to the table in a strop, the others laugh and most of the straw hats make their way to the table to sit down.

"Hm, it's a little unusual for Zoro's hearing to become selective like this, but I suppose a lot of the healing going on in Zoro's brain right now is to do with reduction of swelling. I suppose it could also be that since you were the one he's started copying to speak that he's somehow attuned to your voice and those closest to it in frequency. The brain is a strange thing." Chopper babbles with childlike excitement.

"Very interesting, take this to the table would you? Don't put it near Luffy." Sanji sighs, handing over a bread basket to Chopper and ushering the doctor away.

Zoro's giving him a curious look and his gaze flicks from him to Chopper and back again.

"Marimo," Sanji says slowly, lighting his cigarette, "I understood every word that Chopper just said but I still don't have a fucking clue what he was talking about, so don't ask me to explain."

Zoro laughs then, it's a nice laugh too, genuine amusement. Some part of Sanji's mind hums happily at the sound, it's Zoro starting to be more like himself again and it eases the tightness that's been coiled in his chest ever since Zoro splattered his head on that rock. He shoots Zoro a wide grin and hands him some stuff to take to the table for breakfast as well.

He isn't sure what he thought having Zoro constantly around him would be like, but he hadn't considered the fact that Zoro is still Zoro and Zoro works out. The marimo had, in his defence, cleaned a little bit with Sanji and watched him start on lunch before getting bored and starting on his work out. He's on his ninety billionth push up or something by the time Sanji snaps.

"Look, I know that you have a tiny and damaged mind, but does that not get boring? Even for you?" He demands exasperatedly as he chops mint leaves for a refreshing mid-morning drink for his ladies.

Zoro pauses mid-push up and tilts his head in what looks like consideration. Zoro shifts his left hand inwards and takes his right hand and raises it up and makes an indecisive noise in his throat before holding his thumb and forefinger a few centimetres apart.

"A little bit?" Sanji guesses.

"Yes." Zoro agrees, dropping out of the push up to sit back on his haunches. He makes a gesture that Sanji is starting to associate with repeating things.

"A little bit." He says again. Zoro stands up; brushing his hands on his trousers before reaching for Sanji's face.

"Oi, oi marimo! You've just had your hands all over the floor, I'm not letting you stick them in my mouth until you at least wash them!" Sanji says with a squawk, backing up out of Zoro's reach.

Zoro huffs and rolls his eyes, holding his hands up as if to show off just how clean they are.

"I don't care, wash 'em. I've no idea where your hands have been since you last washed them!" He insists.

Zoro pauses before a slow mischievous grin spreads over his face. It's amazing how expressive Zoro's eyebrows can be, because with one filthy look and a suggestive eyebrow waggle Sanji knows just where Zoro is implying his hands have been.

"Oh god, Zoro! Go! Wash! NOW!" He yells, shoving the now cackling man at the sink. Sanji is glad that the swordsman is facing the sink with his back to him as he's red from ear to ear. Why did the marimo have to go and say something like THAT? He forces his mind to think of something, anything, else so that he won't end up with a mental image of that inside his head.

Zoro turns back to him with clean, but wet, hands and holds them up as if to say "See, clean. Happy now?"

"Stupid marimo." Sanji mutters.

He tells himself that he's just embarrassed about Zoro's earlier crudeness, that's why he's flushed still when Zoro's water slick fingers touch and part his lips. Zoro quirks an expectant eyebrow at him and Sanji scrambles to jump start his brain again.

"Oh, right. A little bit. I wonder if this is too soon to give you a whole sentence..." Sanji wonders aloud. Zoro gives him a frustrated look and Sanji realises that continuing talking is probably making this harder for Zoro.

"A little bit." Sanji repeats with a sigh. Zoro's other hand traces the pattern out on his own mouth.

"A li... Hm?" Zoro frowns, clearly asking Sanji to repeat himself. Sanji sighs and does, within two repetitions Zoro has the whole sentence, far quicker than he got the word water.

"You're getting better at this." He remarks as Zoro pulls his hand away and dries it on his shirt, destroying any cleanliness said hand had.

"Pft, no." Zoro snorts irritably scowling off to the side.

"Hey, I know it doesn't seem like it right now and your vocabulary is still pretty small but you can understand now and you just picked up a whole sentence really quickly." Sanji argues. Zoro still doesn't look convinced, stupid perfectionist.

"I guess I was going to ask you why you spend so much time training if it bores you sometimes, but I know why. You need to beat Mihawk." Sanji says with a shrug, changing the subject back to what it was.

"Yes." Zoro agrees. Sanji nods, he gets that, Zoro works for his dream. A curious look comes over Zoro's face then.

"Cook?" Zoro asks, pointing at him.

"Damnit Zoro, I have a name, it's Sanji, say it!" He snaps irritably.

"No, no... Cook?" Zoro asks, gesturing to the room around them. Sanji frowns, not getting it. Zoro grumbles and stomps past him to the wall before reaching up and pulling the clock off of the wall.

"What are you doing, idiot?" Sanji frowns.

Zoro turns back to him, clock in hand and pulls his finger along from six to ten, then from eleven 'til two, then from taps three and then finally drags his finger over from four to eight. Sanji suddenly realises that those are the hours that he typically spends in the kitchen.

"Cook... A little bit?" Zoro asks with an air of hope in his voice, like he hopes Sanji will get what he means. Sanji frowns, he tries to give some context to Zoro's brief and stunted question. Hmm… he'd asked Zoro if he finds training boring and Zoro had just gone and shown him how much time he spends cooking.

"You asking me if I find cooking boring sometimes?" He guesses.

"Yes!" Zoro exclaims, clearly pleased.

Sanji feels surprised, no one has ever asked him that, and no one on this ship has ever asked about how he felt about cooking at all.

"No, not really. Cooking is always interesting, I enjoy it. I get to be creative and experiment or if it's something I know by heart then it's peaceful. I don't get bored." Sanji answers honestly.

Zoro tilts his head for a second before pressing his palms together and closing his eyes, making a quiet 'ohm' noise low in his throat.

"Oh, yeah it can be a little like meditation when it's something I know well." He agrees, catching on. Zoro smiles, he's clearly pleased at being understood and understanding, it's his first real conversation in so long.

"So, I'm never bored, no." Sanji answers, taking the clock back from Zoro.

"Hmm." Zoro hums in an unconvinced tone.

"I'm not! What I do is different from what you do, you can't compare them like that." Sanji argues.

"No." Zoro snorts, clearly unconvinced.

"It is, when you have a breakthrough it's flashy and everyone sees. You perfect a new technique and you get to cut a building in half. I perfect a béchamel sauce and no one notices, it's... different." Sanji answers, hanging the clock up. When he turns back to Zoro though, the other man has a troubled look on his face.

"What?" Sanji sighs.

Zoro moves past him and opens the pantry cupboard, when he emerges again he's got an apron in hand which he swiftly ties around his waist before turning back to Sanji with a determined expression on his face.

"What are you doing moss-brain? Is your head that scrambled?" He asks in exasperation. Zoro rolls his eyes at that remark.

"Cook." He states simply.

"You... want to cook?" Sanji guesses with a frown, Zoro has never ever shown any interest in cooking until now, so that can't be right. But... how else does he explain that comment and the apron currently around Zoro's waist?

"Yes." Zoro nods firmly.

"Why?" He gawps. Zoro gives him a flat look, he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain clearly.

Sanji frowns to himself and thinks. What had he said that prompted this?

Zoro sighs and points to the clock then jerks his thumb behind him.

"In the past?" Sanji guesses aloud, it seems like Zoro is going to explain this to him even if he has to play charades to do it. Zoro nods and continues. He gestures to himself then taps the side of his head.

"In the past you thought…? Hm, no that can't be right, moss doesn't think." Sanji teases. Zoro flips him off and continues.

Zoro holds his hands out as if he was holding a sword and then gestures to himself again before holding his hands really far apart.

"You… had a big sword?" Sanji says in exasperation, really not understanding what Zoro is trying to say.

"No!" Zoro snaps, clearly frustrated.

"Don't shout at me! This isn't exactly easy, moron!" he argues back. A swell of guilt in the back of his mind reminds him that no matter how hard guessing what Zoro is trying to say is, it must be far harder for Zoro having no other way to communicate. He sighs and thinks about it.

"Okay… so… something about swords and something big." He says, unable to think of what Zoro could mean.

Zoro bites his lip for a second before miming putting a hat on his head and then punching the air, then touching his nose and pulling his finger away from it before miming firing something. That was Luffy and Usopp obviously but… no… it was Luffy and Usopp and the things that they were good at!

"Oh! Your skill! You used to think that your sword skills were big- no… great?" he exclaims, getting it suddenly.

"Yes!" Zoro nods.

Sanji is about to protest that Zoro's swordsman skills are great when Zoro holds his finger up as if to interrupt him. Zoro points at the clock again and makes a forward gesture, when Sanji looks back Zoro has pulled his shirt off and is dragging his finger down his scar.

"Little." Zoro says aloud.

"Mihawk make you realise that you weren't as strong as you thought you were." Sanji finishes for him.

Zoro hums indecisively, as if that's sort of what he means but not quite.

"You mean Mihawk had to cut you open before you realised just how much stronger he was than you thought he was." Sanji guesses again.

"Yes." Zoro nods.

"Well, I already knew that. What does that have to do with cooking?" he grumbles, the image of Zoro's blood spraying from his bloodied body flashing through Sanji's mind again. Mihawk's blade may have scarred Zoro's body but seeing that has left its own scar in Sanji's mind.

Zoro huffs in frustration, he leans to the side and pulls one of Sanji's precious knives free of the knife block that it rests in and slides it into Sanji's hand.

"Cook." Zoro says quietly, touching Sanji's chest before snagging Sanji's knife holding hand and pulling it against his bare skin.

"I'm assuming you don't want me to cut you." Sanji laughs nervously, pulling back away from Zoro. He uses the pretence of putting the knife back in the block to gather up his rapidly scattering thoughts.

"So… it was only when Mihawk cut you that you realised the extent of his skill, and you want me to do the same to you. Not cut you open but… show you how to cook so that you can see mine?" He says quietly.

"Yes." Zoro says behind him.

"Why? Why do you care? You've never cared before." Sanji challenges Zoro defensively. Zoro doesn't answer though, he doesn't mime or try to string together some half answer from the words that he knows Zoro just stares him down.

"Whatever, I've never understood how your weird moss brain works. You can help I guess. But you've got to do what I say." Sanji states, not sure whether he wants Zoro to back out or not. Instead Zoro just grins that wide sick grin that he gets when he's facing some insurmountable challenge and waits.

"Go… take the potatoes out of the bag and wash them in the sink, I'll need about half the bag." He mutters in a flustered order and sends Zoro off to the other end of the room.

"So, as much as having my own personal kitchen wench around is fun, don't you think I should probably be teaching you some words?" He smirks, trying to cover up his own awkwardness.

Zoro flips him off and gives him an incredibly sour look as he pulls potatoes from the bag.

"Oh, what? You don't like your new title? How about deputy assistant lowly chore boy?" He suggests instead, delighting in the particular angry shade of red that Zoro is turning. The situation is becoming more normal now after that strangely intimate moment earlier, Sanji feels on steadier ground now.

"… cook!" Zoro snaps, somehow stressing the silence that came before the word, his mouth open and clearly searching for a word. Sanji's mind searches for possibilities until…

'Shit cook'

Something Zoro's said a thousand times before but now apparently can't.

"You're calling me a shit cook, you bastard!" He accuses angrily.

"Sh- agh!" Zoro yelps in frustration and gestures for Sanji to repeat himself.

"Oh, no no. I'm not going to repeat that so you can insult me. In fact I'm going to teach you some manners, stupid swordsman." He laughs leaning back and grinning as Zoro looks like he's contemplating strangling him.

"So come on, say 'please' and I might just teach you some other words too." He smirks, leaning in close to Zoro.

Zoro grits his teeth and stares him down.

"Please." Sanji repeats teasingly. The only answer he gets is a low angry growl from somewhere deep in Zoro's chest.

"Oh well, I guess you don't want to talk then." He says innocently, turning to walk away.

"No." Zoro grits out with some effort.

"Well then, please." He repeats smugly. Zoro growls again but touches Sanji's lips as he repeats himself once more. Zoro takes his hand back and traces the same pattern over his own lips, mouthing the word.

"I'm waiting." He challenges in a sing-song voice.

"Please." Zoro says roughly through gritted teeth in a tone that is impressively packed with promises of physical violence for such a short one word sentence.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, how about "thank you" or "you're welcome" next?" Sanji smiles, easily ducking the punch that Zoro sends his way.

The next day they come to an uninhabited island that isn't so much an island as it is simply land that's poking out of the sea. Technically Sanji supposes that's all an island ever is, though the wondrous Nami-swan would probably know the technical definition of an island, this land (whether it's an island or not) doesn't register on the log pose. What it means for them is a chance to stretch their legs off of the ship, resupply with whatever they can find on the island and get out of the sometimes cramped ship.

No matter how much you love your nakama and no matter how big your ship actually is, sometimes it just feels too small. Sanji would sometimes give anything for just five hours without something rubber assaulting him and demanding food, or smelling one of Usopp's experiments turned explosive or without the constant yelling and shouting that their crew caused. Sometimes, just sometimes, he'd like a little peace on his own. Or, apparently, peace with Zoro.

Sanji half wonders if he perhaps sustained some brain damage too, he's clearly not the only one as the rest of the crew are looking at him with surprise and confusion on their faces after the words "Zoro should stay with me" left his mouth. Even Zoro looks surprised. They're all standing on deck deciding who will do what on the little island that can't be more than four miles wide in any direction.

"Look, he's just going to get ass backwards lost in that jungle anyway and I need someone strong to help me collect barrels of fresh water. Does anyone else have a better reason to babysit him?" Sanji explains with a sigh, rubbing his forehead.

"Well, I need someone to help me cut into rubber trees. We need more rubber on the ship, both for my work and Franky's. I could use Zoro." Usopp muses, looking at Zoro thoughtfully who only gives their sharpshooter a blank look. It seems like Zoro still can't understand Usopp then.

"Except Zoro still isn't allowed his swords back, unless Chopper has changed his mind. And even if he did, if we ran into any danger you'd let Zoro fight it and he'd probably get his brains splashed all over the beach. Again." Sanji argues back. After a moment of consideration he adds:

"Besides, if Zoro knew that you planned to get him to cover his precious swords in rubber of all things he'd probably-"

He's interrupted by the furious sounding growl that comes from Zoro's throat as he reaches past Sanji to snag Usopp by the throat and shake him threateningly before dropping him on his ass on deck.

"Thanks for that Sanji." Usopp coughs and glares up at him.

"No problem, anyone else?" Sanji asks with a grin.

"No way. I want to draw a map of this little island and I don't need Zoro stomping about the place distracting me." Nami snorts dismissively- if such a lovely lady could be said to do something as unladylike as snort. Which she couldn't.

"I'd like to see if there might be any ruins here, so I'll accompany you Nami." Robin smiles serenely.

"Well, I'll help you with the rubber trees bro." Franky grins, picking up the fallen Usopp with his hand by the scruff of the neck like a cat and setting him back on his feet.

The others all launch into plans about what they're going to do on the island and hotly contesting who will stay and whether there will be two shifts of people going out and staying. All of which Sanji is broadly uninterested in. He jerks his head in the direction of the storerooms and heads down, Zoro following just a few steps behind him.

"You cool with coming on the island with me? You don't have to." Sanji says over his shoulder conscious of the fact that he just decided something without really asking Zoro.

"Yes." Zoro says simply, suddenly, almost magically able to talk again once it's only him there to hear. He opens the storeroom door and wonders if Chopper was right about there being something special about him in Zoro's mind that lets the swordsman talk to him but no one else.

"Round up the empty barrels for me, we're taking them on the island." He orders, taking one half of the storeroom and Zoro the other.

"Water?" Zoro guesses aloud, holding up an empty barrel.

"You got it, we're not exactly running low, and I know we have systems for catching rainwater and we use grey water and all that but… you never know when it's gonna stop raining for a month just to fuck with you or how off course you could get. Dying of thirst is not something that'll happen on my watch, not when I have the opportunity to restock." He explains as the memory of drinking rainwater from a puddle on that blasted rock flashes through his head. The thirst was almost as bad as the hunger, only it would have killed him quicker. But it always rained frequently enough to keep him alive and he could never repress his urge to drink enough to let himself die.

"Cook?" Zoro's concerned voice says, breaking through Sanji's thoughts. He looks up to find Zoro holding two empty barrels and flashing him a disconcerted expression.

"Is that all of the empty barrels over there?" Sanji challenges, somewhat embarrassed at being caught in those kind of thoughts.

"No…" Zoro says slowly and suspiciously.

"Then get back to it, no one pays you to stand here staring at me." Sanji snaps and turns his back on Zoro, his hands giving each barrel a shake to test how empty they are.

"Cook." Zoro says flatly, poking him in the side. There's a challenge in his eyes and Sanji instinctively stands up, ready for a fight.

Instead of fighting though, Zoro just pokes Sanji in the chest before touching Sanji's nose and drawing his finger away from it, about to the length of Usopp's nose. He then shrugs and walks off. Zoro might not have said a word but his meaning was clear. You're lying, and I know it. I'll leave it alone but don't think I'm too stupid to see.

Sanji scowls at the barrels but keeps on with his job and before too long the two of them have at least ten empty barrels for water between them. Without speaking (Which is more of a choice on his part than Zoro's he supposes) they haul the barrels up on deck, lash them together into two large piles and heft them up onto their shoulders as they walk down the gangplank onto the island. They have to go through some water first, so Sanji is glad that he wore sandals as the first five minutes spent back on land leave him entirely covered in sand up to his knees.

"From what Nami said of her view of the island as we approached, she thinks that there should be fresh water this way." Sanji remarks as they walk.

"Water." Zoro echoes softly.

"This is weird, you being so quiet. Or rather… you not being an ass." He remarks as they skid down a sandbank together. Zoro pauses at the bottom and gives him a considering look, his head tilting to the side thoughtfully.

"Sh… cook." Zoro offers with a smirk and flips him off, the swordsman is still not able to insult him, no matter how hard he tries. Sanji would find it endearing if it wasn't so irritating. He scowls at Zoro who is carrying on ahead of Sanji in the direction that they were walking in.

"Well gosh, I just feel all warm and fuzzy inside now don't I?" the cook says flatly, sprinting slightly to catch up with him.

"You're welcome." Zoro grins at him.

"I didn't teach you that so that you could be sarcastic at me, I taught you to say 'please' 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' so that you'd have some manners this time around, you ape. Be polite!" Sanji growls, kicking at Zoro's knee just about hard enough to bruise.

"Hm, no." Zoro remarks in a sing-song tone and laughs to himself.

"You know what? I preferred it when you were unnervingly silent. How about we go back to that?" Sanji declares loudly and cuts ahead of the laughing swordsman. He leads them along the beach until they find a spring that feeds into the ocean, as soon as they find that they turn left into the jungle following it to its source. Before too long they're walking along the trickling spring in a pleasant kind of silence.

Sanji needs to make sure that they get to the source of the water and he can confirm that there's nothing dangerous in it. One dead animal by a river can be enough to poison the whole thing, since it's possible to trace the source of this one he'd be foolish not to do it.

He hears branches and twigs snapping behind him which is odd as there wasn't any branches or twigs in his path so…

Sanji turns only to find no Zoro behind him and no trace of where he's gone.

"Goddamnit Zoro! Where are you?" He yells, but receives no response. Great. Stupid directionally challenged marimo.

He grumbles and takes a left into the trees and brush lining the path of the stream.

"Marimo! Get back here, how the hell do you get lost following me alongside a RIVER in a STRAIGHT LINE?!" He hollers irritably. Suddenly the jungle gives way to a slight clearing that's more a break in the trees than it is a real clearing. There's no Zoro there but there is a big stack of barrels that just a moment ago was on Zoro's back.

"ZORO!" He curses and drops his own barrels, heading in the direction of some still gently swaying leaves. He jogs carefully through the jungle only to run right into the back of Zoro having not seen him until the last minute, damn the jungle here was thick!

"Oi! What the hell Zoro?!" He snaps angrily.

"Shh." Zoro replies, shushing him and walking on. Sanji stands there frozen for a moment. What the hell?

"Hey! Don't shush me, you bastard, you're going the wrong way! How do you even manage to do this?" he exclaims, catching up to Zoro. Zoro just shushes him again and grabs his hand, pulling him along.

The blonde falls silent for a moment, both on the basis that Zoro might be leading them somewhere for a legitimate reason and to recognise the weirdness that is him holding Zoro's hand. Seriously, that's just odd. He's searching his brain but he can't think of any time that this has ever happened before. EVER. He can't think of a single time, Zoro's grabbed him plenty of times before to lead him somewhere or to pull him off course, but by his arm, or his jacket… even one time he'd grabbed him by his hair! He's damn near broken Zoro's nose for that one. But this… his hand nestled between Zoro's warm strong fingers, that was a first.

Zoro pauses in the dense forest, a vine just brushing his shoulder and looks around him. Sanji knows which way is back of course, but the jungle around them gives them no clue at all, it's so thick.

"Admitting that you're lost? It's back that way dumbass." He says smugly and gestures behind him with his free hand. Actually, why hasn't he taken his other hand back off of Zoro?

Zoro shakes his head, shushes Sanji again and closes his eyes. The moron stays still with his eyes shut for a moment, before spinning on his heel and turning in a seemingly random direction and heading off that way, pulling Sanji along for the ride.

"What are you doing, Zoro. God… damn…." Sanji trails off as they break through the trees, bushes and hanging vines into the open air. The two of them are standing on a hilltop clearing with a frankly spectacular view over the island and the mountain above them. The hill is not quite a cliff top but Sanji wouldn't fancy trying to run down the thing, it's way too steep. But up here is a small suddenly clear space, totally apart from the almost claustrophobic crowd of the plants in the jungle. He can see for miles and it's quite genuinely breath-taking as far as scenic views go.

Zoro smiles and pulls him down onto the floor.

"How did you find this place?" Sanji asks, sitting down reluctantly. Zoro rolls his eyes and points to his boots before making a walking motion with two fingers.

"You… followed your feet? Is this what happens when you get lost?" He asks wide eyed, thinking of all the times that Zoro inexplicably loses them. Zoro makes an indecisive noise at the back of his throat as if to say "sometimes".

"I-" Sanji starts only for Zoro to clap a hand over his mouth and shush him again. Zoro holds his hand there for a few moments before taking it away and looking off into the distance. Sanji takes the hint, though has no idea why Zoro needs him to be quiet. He huffs and obeys though, figuring that if Zoro is trying to get him to hush then it's probably for a reason, and he should give the marimo the benefit of the doubt at least.

The island is actually… quite beautiful. The Sunny can be seen in the distance, bobbing by the shore, her sails flapping in the wind. Without his shouting the sounds of the jungle start to return around them, small bugs chirping in the foliage and little birds cheeping somewhere in the trees. The wind blows through the tufts of Zoro's green hair that have managed to escape the swathe of bandages covering his head, Sanji can't help but grin, Zoro really does look like someone who's been sitting there so long that moss has grown on him.

He sighs softly and leans back on the tree behind him after surreptitiously checking it for creepy crawlies. He's not scared of bugs or anything, he's a big manly pirate, get real. He just… isn't fond of them is all. The birdsong is actually quite nice to listen to, and there are butterflies and humming birds flitting around now that they're quiet and still too. One zips by Sanji's face, making his gaze follow it. Zoro is leaning forward slightly with his forearms resting on his upright knees, his eyes are shut and he looks simply serene.

The sound of wings above them startles Sanji, it's much louder than any he's heard so far. They both look up. Sitting in the branches above them is a bright green parrot with its head tilted to the side watching them. Zoro smiles and shifts to the side and digs around in his pocket for a second or two before coming up with some scrap of bread or something, he smiles and holds it up and in a flutter of surprisingly large wings the bird goes from the tree to onto Zoro's arm across his knee. The swordsman offers the scrap of food to the bird which takes it in its beak before transferring it to one large grey talon equipped foot which holds it and allows the big bird to eat slowly.

Zoro laughs softly and smiles and the bird. The creature swallows the last of its gifted meal and bobs in a little bow-like movement. The swordsman smiles widely and reaches forward with his other hand and scratches the bird behind the neck as if it was a goddamn puppy or something! Much to Sanji's surprise the bird lets him, its small golden eyes sliding shut in pleasure as the swordsman's thick fingers scratch and stroke the feathers.

The cook finds himself transfixed, he's seen those hands of Zoro's end the lives of countless men and maim considerably more, those hands are merciless and fatal. Yet here Zoro sits, petting some wild creature which has no reason not to turn around and take a chunk out of the reckless man's finger. And he's seen that happen, birds with beaks that size can really hurt a man. But Zoro's kindness always has seemed to extend to wild creatures like animals, small kids and the like, Luffy and Chopper too which made sense as they were a mix of the two really!

"RAWK. Thank you." The bird squawks and nuzzles at Zoro's finger.

"You're welcome!" Zoro laughs with a tone of amazement.

"Great, you'll be polite to some shit-parrot but not to me?" Sanji snorts in disbelief, surprised at the bird's speech.

"Shit!" The parrot repeats and scratches its beak with its foot.

"Shi…" Zoro tries, squinting at the parrot.

"WHAT?! No! Don't copy the parrot!" Sanji squawks desperate to keep Zoro from learning that word.

"Shit!" The parrot repeats again, clearly pleased with Sanji's distress.

"Shit… shit cook!" Zoro exclaims pointing at Sanji.

"Great. Stupid bird, get lost!" Sanji grumbles, swatting at it.

The parrot screeches and flies up into the trees.

"Shit cook!" The bird squawks down at him, sending Zoro into fits of laughter.

"Green feather-brained morons, both of you!" He huffs, stomping off into the jungle again. Zoro's laugher and the parrot's squawks follow him and soon Sanji finds himself followed by the pair of them, the parrot riding happily on Zoro's shoulder playing with his earrings and saying words until Zoro repeats them successfully.

Sanji grumbles and follows the river upstream ignoring the variations of the word "pirate" that Zoro is coming up with in his attempt to copy the parrot. The marimo seems to find it harder to copy the bird at least than he does him, he supposes that the parrot not having lips makes it harder for the swordsman who has to just listen to the words rather than see and feel them like he does with Sanji.

Sanji's fingers brush his own lips and his rebellious cheeks heat up of their own accord. He shoves the thought aside before it can fully form, not wanting to look at it or think too much.

"Oi, cook. Pie-rate?" Zoro says, catching the back of Sanji's shirt with his hand and tugging lightly. Sanji pauses and turns, he's got half a mind to kick Zoro's ass for pissing him off, but the moment he catches Zoro's hopeful expression he halts, the tension bleeding out of his leg.

Ever since Zoro woke up and couldn't talk he's become more… open somehow. Zoro couldn't use words so he had to rely on his tone or his expression to do the talking for him. The previously stoic swordsman was a completely open book now, it was hard to get used to. Previously he would have assumed that Zoro was just trying to irritate him more, and if his expression had been its usual flat self he'd have just kicked the bastard. But now… Zoro's expression was hopeful, pleading almost, and Sanji could see the undercurrent of frustration running through Zoro's frame.

"Pirate!" The parrot chirps happily.

"Pyrite?" Zoro repeats incorrectly, his mouth pulling downwards as he hears the wrong word slide from his tongue again. A frustrated growl slips from Zoro's mouth.

"That parrot doesn't understand the words it says Zoro, it just repeats sounds. You at least understand things." Sanji sighs, stepping a little closer to the swordsman. What he really means is 'don't be so hard on yourself', but for some reason he finds that hard to come out and say.

"Pirate!" The parrot repeats again, bobbing its head happily.

"Fire-aRHG!" Zoro snarls, his speech getting less and less accurate the more stressed he gets. Chopper is right, it does deteriorate his skills.

Without letting himself think he catches Zoro's tense fist and pulls it towards himself, unfurling Zoro's palm and touching it to his cheek. Zoro's thumb ghosts over his lips and after a second his fingers curl around Zoro's jawline.

"Pirate." Sanji smiles.

"Pirate." Zoro repeats quietly.

"See? You'll get there." He grins, and if Zoro's touch lingers enough to make Sanji's chest feel a little light well… Sanji just doesn't think on it.

"Shoo bird!" He snaps, flapping his hands away at the parrot who squawks at him angrily and flies off.

Sanji turns and continues walking up the river, after a moment or two Zoro catches up to him and bumps his shoulder against his.

"Pirate cook." Zoro says with a small smile.

"Well… that's a step up from shit cook but don't you think you could just call me Sanji? Come on, say it, Sanji." He pronounces his name slowly.

"Hm, no." Zoro smirks tauntingly and sprints off up the river, leaving Sanji in a spray of water and irritation.


	3. Chapter 3

Some sounds Zoro seems to get easier than others, ones that involve the lips a lot or the tip of the tongue he seems to get with ease, Sanji would guess that it's because it's easier for Zoro to feel and see Sanji saying them.

Some sounds though seem to give Zoro no end of problems, when it comes to letters made at the back of the throat or syllables that have a lot of flow between them instead of defined breaks, well, Zoro struggles. Unfortunately Usopp's name has all of these qualities and he and Zoro have been back and forth about twenty times now trying to get it right.

Zoro had been helping him get ready for the barbeque they were going to have on the little island's beach and Sanji had been teaching him the crew's names as they did it. He'd mastered every one after a few attempts, though he refused to say Sanji's name and instead looked innocently confused (it was entirely fake goddamnit, Sanji wasn't that dumb!) and just called him cook instead. Sanji had pushed it a little more and was then upgraded to shit cook. That had resulted in a fight which ruined the salad and set them back ten minutes in prep time. They'd then reached Usopp's name.

"Hey, we forgot Usopp." Sanji remarks, sliding the now completed salad back in the fridge.

"Oh." Zoro says in surprise and looks up at Sanji from where he stands at the sink, washing knives.

"Usopp." Sanji repeats with Zoro watching him studiously.

Zoro's brow pinches into a frown, his mouth slightly open. He shuts it then tries again but the only sound that comes out is the short "ah" sound that comes when Zoro tries to force some sound, ANY sound from his throat when his brain isn't playing ball.

Sanji really doesn't like that sound, it worries him. He'll admit in the privacy of his own head that he's scared that Zoro's ability to speak again will vanish as quickly as it came back and he'll lose his rival for good. So far when Zoro's been copying names from him he's at least got the start right or at least sounding similar. But that sound is totally wrong.

"Zoro?" He calls, stepping closer as he tries to fight down the worry.

"Yes." Zoro sighs and shakes his head. Sanji's brow furrows at that confusing message, Zoro's tone is dismissive but his speech is agreeable.

"Are you saying not to worry about it?" he guesses aloud.

"Yes." The swordsman answers with a sigh, turning to the side of the kitchen counter to face Sanji front on. The marimo tilts his head curiously and reaches out to graze Sanji's lips with gentle fingers. A small insignificant and totally meaningless sigh slips from Sanji's lips unbidden.

"Usopp." Sanji breathes, as Zoro's fingers trace his lips. Zoro is still frowning though. He he traces the pattern on his own mouth but doesn't even try to repeat it before gesturing for Sanji to speak again. Sanji repeats Usopp's name but the frown on Zoro's face doesn't leave.

"Uh…ouh…ouz." Zoro cuts himself off with a frustrated noise. Zoro's still getting this really wrong, is he just tired from so many new words? Does this even work like that?

"Hey, are you okay? You've not sounded that off since… well… since you started talking again." He asks with concern. Zoro shakes his head and motions for Sanji to repeat again.

Usopp's name doesn't seem to want to come to Zoro though, and in fact with every repetition Zoro's pronunciation seems to be getting worse instead of better. To make matters worse every mistake that Zoro makes causes the swordsman to get more and more agitated, he's clearly getting stressed and upset, even to the extent that he can tell that Zoro is having trouble forcing any sound out at all, what with how stress affects his aphasia.

A frustrated scream rips from Zoro's mouth after what must be the thirtieth attempt at the sharpshooter's name, another failed attempt leads to Zoro slamming his fist into a cabinet door hard enough to make the glasses inside clink dangerously.

"Zoro." Sanji growls in a warning that's far more than he'd ever have given before. If Zoro had done that before his accident Sanji would have just kicked his face in. But now… now he sympathises with Zoro's frustration and gets it, though he still isn't going to let him trash his kitchen.

"Sorry." Zoro mutters and drags a hand through his uncovered hair.

Sanji quirks an eyebrow in amused surprise, since when did Zoro say sorry for anything? Actually… how… how could Zoro say sorry at all? Sanji had taught him some words to give him some manners (though Zoro had mostly used them with a healthy dose of sarcasm that made Sanji's plan backfire) but he'd not taught him the word "sorry".

"What did you just say?" He questions with a gasp.

"Huh?" Zoro grunts at him with a scowl.

"You just said sorry, I never taught you to say that. Say it again!" He persists excitedly catching Zoro by the arm.

"Ss…" Zoro tries, but the sound clearly isn't coming. Zoro sighs and looks slightly crestfallen.

"You're just stressed, you'll get there." He reassures the other man.

Zoro pulls his gaze away, his forehead still pinched with a frown. Sanji can tell that he wants to keep trying but it's obviously not going to go anywhere, besides if he does keep trying then Sanji is probably going to end up with a busted cupboard door and Zoro will have to be kicked to death. Which would be rather a waste of effort on Sanji's part considering all the time he's put into helping Zoro lately. He needs to give him something else to do.

"Just leave it alone for now or I swear your brain is gonna melt. Now go do something you're good and grab one of my knives." He orders as he walks off to the fridge and pulls out two racks of ribs that are almost as large as he is tall when stacked up, they got them off of a giant sabre-toothed-tiger on the last island that they were at, before Zoro got his brains splattered. Up until the night before last they had been in the deep freeze, but now they were all defrosted and ready to be made into delicious food.

When he turns around Zoro's hand is hovering by his knife block, as if he's not sure that he should actually be touching the things.

"Oi, I told you to get one of those didn't I?" He prompts as he walks back with the meat. Zoro nods wide eyed at him and carefully pulls a flawless knife out of the block and holds it carefully out of the way as Sanji drops the ribs down on a chopping board and starts explaining how one prepares a rack of ribs.

He's pleased to see that Zoro has a natural instinct for this kind of thing, Sanji only has to tell Zoro that he needs to find where ribs become cartilage and cut there for Zoro to do it. When it comes to running a blade through meat and bone with either strength or precision Zoro is skilled. The swordsman had once drunkenly told Sanji that it was a shame he was a chef as he thought he'd make a damn fine swordsman. It would have been sweet and certainly the nicest thing Zoro had ever said to him if the marimo hadn't proceeded to then steal Sanji's drink, get horribly drunk, and later throw up on his shoes. Still, he supposes that the sort of compliment goes the other way, if Zoro wasn't so dedicated to swordsmanship he'd make a fucking excellent butcher.

Sanji distracts himself from Zoro's skill by making a barbecue sauce for the ribs that Zoro is preparing for him. He still doesn't agree with Zoro's weird insistence that he learn to cook in order to better understand him or something like that... but he can't argue with the fact that it's helpful having someone else in the kitchen.

"You're actually pretty good at that Marimo." he remarks, leaning over Zoro's shoulders and examining his work. Zoro shoots him a suspicious look, pausing in his work.

"I mean it." he adds earnestly, Zoro clearly thinks that he's jerking him around.

Zoro doesn't say a word, he doesn't even nod or anything as he simply gets back to work, but Sanji is pretty sure that he's getting a pleased vibe off of Zoro. Sanji finishes up the sauce and swipes his finger through, giving it a taste. He slides the flavour over his tongue and is pleased with the result, he's about to just pour it right over the ribs when an idea hits him.

He pulls open the cutlery drawer and pulls out a fork, he quickly dips it in the sauce and holds it up for Zoro.

"Here, taste this. This is your cooking, you need to learn to taste things if you want to learn how to cook properly." He orders holding out the fork.

Zoro pauses in his cutting and frowns, his eyes flicking from the fork to Sanji and back again, as if he's not sure that Sanji isn't just teasing him. He glances down at his own hands, the corner of his mouth pulling down as he sees the raw meat juices over his fingers. With a shrug he leans towards Sanji and wraps his mouth around the end of the fork before pulling away, for some reason Sanji feels a little lightheaded but he decides to ignore it.

"Remember, with the ribs the flavour will sweeten and become a little smokier when it's cooked, you've got to take that into account. So, do you think it needs anything?" He says, shaking the feeling aside.

Zoro's eyes slide shut and his brow furrows with concentration. The cook finds himself impressed by just how much effort Zoro's actually putting into this learning to cook thing. An indecisive noise comes from the back of Zoro's throat and the swordsman bites his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Think it needs something?" Sanji suggests.

Zoro nods, his eyes still shut.

"Okay, well, usually I'd be able to tell right off what that would be- but that's an experience thing I can't teach you that. What you can do is you can smell stuff. Taste and smell are very intertwined senses, if you've ever not been able to smell you'll find your sense of taste goes to hell and everything tastes like rubber for a while. Once the old man broke my nose at the Baratie and I was useless for a week, it was hell." He laughs to himself as he opens his seasoning cupboard and beckons Zoro over.

He pulls open a few things that he might consider adding to the sauce, as well as some things that he never would, Zoro rejects them all until Sanji picks up some tabasco sauce. Zoro sniffs it and recoils back with a yelp and watering eyes. The marimo's face instantly changes into a broad grin and he points excitedly to the sauce mix.

"Okay!" the cook grins and adds the tabasco. He gives the sauce a quick stir and tastes it again, it's actually really good, just spicy enough but deep in flavour too.

"Go for it. We'll cook them in here on the grill while we set up outside." He says, handing the sauce mix to Zoro. The swordsman takes it from him and smothers the ribs in it.

Sanji puts the tabasco sauce back and watches the considerably less stressed out Zoro carefully from the corner of his eye. He can't escape the thought that this is undoubtedly the best that he and Zoro have ever got on with each other, he's thought it before but this… this helpful side to Zoro- it just never would have happened before. He doesn't think that the blow to the back of the head changed Zoro's personality or anything, he's seen Zoro be sweet to other people before, Chopper in particular. He always knew that this side of Zoro existed, but he was never sure if it was real and Zoro just acted tough and grouchy around everyone else or if Zoro played sweet just for Chopper. He's pretty certain that this is who Zoro really is, but equally so is the gruff irritable Zoro.

Now that he's being forced to really pay attention to Zoro, to see the world through his eyes, to watch his body language and empathise with him… it's easier to like him. He's always respected Zoro but he's rarely liked him all that much. And it seems like he's not alone, with their level of tension lowered from the lack of bickering, arguments and hurtful words Zoro's become almost… playful with him. Zoro still tries to piss him off, but he can see the small smirk at the edge of his lips that tells Sanji that Zoro's just having fun with him. He… he likes it. And the fact that Zoro seems to be genuinely okay with lowering himself to learn from Sanji about something that he's pretty much unrivalled at… well, that adds a new dimension to things too.

He and Zoro go back and forth from the ship to the beach, setting up the barbeque, though Zoro keeps anxiously checking on his ribs. If it wasn't the moss headed moron doing it Sanji would say that his earnest concern was almost… cute. They get the fire lit and barbeque set up, cutlery and crockery it set out along with blankets for when it starts getting cold as the sun sets. He's already got some marinated chicken sizzling on the barbeque, it's still too raw for even Luffy to consider eating so right now it's safe from the grabby hands and his male nakama.

"Go take those ribs of yours out onto the beach, they can go over on the wooden table. You can cut them when you're out there." Sanji says, pulling his salad out of the fridge and balancing it on his head while carrying baskets of bread in one hand and sauces in the other.

Zoro piles all the ribs up on one big plate, it's obvious that Zoro is pretty pleased with himself and, actually, he's got quite a right to be. The ribs smell great and look really juicy too, sure Zoro didn't do all of the work but the work he did do was good.

"You know, I think the others will like them." He says casually as Zoro picks up the giant white plate piled high with ribs.

"Yes?" Zoro asks earnestly, looking pleased.

"Yeah. Come on." The cook nods, sliding past Zoro and trying not to look at the man's beaming face, it makes him feel a little awkward.

Zoro follows him down to the beach while Sanji carries his food, he places his side dishes down, turns the chicken over and heads back inside to get drinks, calling an instruction over his shoulder for Zoro to carve up the ribs.

"Oh my Zoro, did you cook those? I can't wait to try them." Robin smiles at Zoro. And whilst Zoro isn't outright swooning like Sanji himself would be the marimo certainly looks happy and even offers Robin a rib straight off of the plate, which she graciously takes. Sanji grins to himself and heads inside, he gathers up drinks for everyone, non-alcoholic as Zoro is still banned from booze whilst he's on his post-surgery painkillers. It doesn't mean the rest of them can't drink but Sanji thinks it's a little mean to do so in front of the swordsman.

He's gone maybe two minutes at most but when he comes back out the beach is in total disarray, the barbecue is nearly knocked over, though Usopp is trying to reassemble it before any food falls on the sand. Zoro is yelling angry nonsense words and strangling Luffy on the beach.

Sanji picks up the pace and dashes out onto the beach. Franky manages to haul Zoro off of Luffy, though the swordsman takes the opportunity to clock Luffy in the eye before Franky pulls him out of range.

"Zoro! What the hell?!" Franky shouts as he tries to hold onto the struggling and thrashing marimo in his arms.

"Uncontrollable rage for no reason is a symptom of brain haemorrhage! We need to get him inside!" Chopper squeaks with wide eyed fear.

Sanji looks at the bruised up Luffy and notes the smears of barbecue sauce on his face and hands as well as his almost comically bloated belly, behind him Robin looks distinctly annoyed. The big white plate that previously had Zoro's ribs piled up on them lays empty in the sand by Luffy's side.

"It's not for no reason." Sanji sighs, waving the little doctor away.

"But..." Chopper frowns.

"Oi, Zoro, calm down." Sanji sighs, stepping close to Franky who has the wildcat swordsman barely restrained in his giant arms. Zoro snarls like some feral thing and lashes against Franky whilst one hand snatches in Luffy's direction. Sanji snags Zoro by the back of the neck and pulls him in close so that their foreheads are touching, whilst being careful to avoid his bandaged head.

"Calm down marimo, believe me I know how bad you wanna kick Luffy's ass for eating all of your food and not leaving any for anyone else, but chill." He says quietly, Zoro stops struggling so much but Sanji can still hear the growl in his throat and see his nails digging into Franky's arms.

"I know how much time you put into those ribs and how frustrating it is to see Luffy inhale the whole thing without it so much as touching his taste buds, but the point of cooking is to feed people and you did that. The point is keeping people alive, not recognition, remember?" Sanji prompts softly, not really wanting the others to hear this.

Zoro makes a sad and frustrated noise in the back of his throat and brings his dark gaze up to Sanji's own, though they are so close that their noses are almost touching. At this range he can see every emotion flit over the swordsman's face. Zoro isn't a show off but he cares what people think of him, he's going after the title of the worlds greatest after all. Of course he wants to know how good people thought his effort was and Sanji knows full well how much their black hole of a captain can frustrate that goal. After a moment or two of silent understanding Zoro leans back against Franky's chest and crosses his arms with a resigned sigh.

"Can I put you down without you killing anyone now?" Franky asks warily eyeing the swordsman as if it might be a trap. Zoro looks up at the shipwright and nods, dropping nimbly to the sandy beach as Franky releases him. As promised Zoro doesn't immediately try to murder Luffy again.

"Wow Sanji, I'm not sure I've ever seen you make Zoro LESS angry." Nami remarks with some surprise. Sanji just shrugs, he's not sure that he's got a real answer for that, luckily he doesn't have to think too long as Luffy interrupts right after.

"Oi, Zoro, you can't just attack your captain like that, it's against the rules!" Luffy says pointing at Zoro accusingly. Zoro snarls and glares at his captain but stays put.

"What's the big deal anyway? He just ate the ribs that Zoro was carrying, Luffy does that all the time." Usopp frowns at Zoro, having successfully reassembled the barbeque. Sanji can hear Zoro grinding his teeth together in agitation from where he stands. He doesn't know if Zoro understood what Usopp just said, but the context along with Usopp's tone and dismissive body language ought to tell the swordsman what he needs to know even if he can't understand the words.

"Welcome to my life moss ball." Sanji mutters and lights a cigarette.

He feels Zoro's dark eyes on him and looks up to see the swordsman thoughtfully touching his long scar, he understands Zoro's meaning, the swordsman is learning.

With a small sigh Zoro walks off past him towards Robin, Sanji watches with interest as Zoro takes her hand and examines it, his touch gentle as if holding something fragile. Zoro runs his fingers over some mark on her finger, hidden from Sanji's view.

"Oh don't worry swordsman-san, I've got quicker reflexes than that. I dropped it before he bit me properly." Robin says with a small chuckle. Wait… Robin had been holding one of Zoro's ribs! That means that Luffy had...!

"You bastard! You bit Robin?!" He yells and kicks their rubber captain so hard in the face that Luffy's jaw stretches out at least a foot before snapping back.

"I wanted more meat!" Luffy wails, backing up the beach on his butt in an attempt to evade Sanji.

A slightly smug looking swordsman catches Sanji's elbow and quirks a challenging eyebrow at him before he can dart forward and kick Luffy again.

"This is different!" He protests, he's not pissed that Luffy ate food, he's pissed that Luffy bit Robin! Zoro looks entirely unconvinced though and Sanji deflates somewhat, he supposes he can't well tell Zoro to not be violent and then do so himself.

"Fine, it is a little hypocritical I suppose." He concedes grouchily and tugs his elbow out of Zoro's hand.

Zoro makes a considering humming sound in his throat and holds up a finger as if to pause Sanji. The swordsman smirks, gestures between the two of them and then cracks his knuckles threateningly as he flicks his gaze back to Luffy.

"You're right Zoro," Sanji grins, "it wouldn't be hypocritical if we both attacked him. That would make sense in fact."

Zoro's smirk turns dangerous and deadly making Luffy yelp and scramble to his feet.

"No way, I don't wanna fight both of you! No fair! You should be cooking me more meat!" Their captain declares.

Despite Luffy's annoying attitude his words remind Sanji that he has chicken cooking on the barbeque.

"Later marimo, we've got food to attend to." He promises, grabbing Zoro by his haramaki and pulling him over to the barbeque. The chicken is sizzling and he turns it over just in time to stop it from burning. He breathes a sigh of relief and sends Zoro off to go gather the drinks that he dropped on the way to save Luffy's stupid life.

"Keep turning all of these every so often, I'm going to add more food." Sanji orders the swordsman, Zoro nods and gets to work. As Sanji lays out more meat onto the grill he thinks that he could get used to having a kitchen assistant, especially one who gives their rubber captain the stink eye whenever he comes too close to the food.

"So since when is Zoro helping you cook? I thought he was just in the kitchen with you learning to talk." Nami enquires as she saunters over to them with Usopp.

"Well he might as well help if he's going to be with me, anyway it was his idea not mine." Sanji answers offhandedly as he sets out the sausages on the grill enjoying the sizzle as they hit the hot metal.

"I think something happened to Zoro's brain when he hit the rocks, I could barely get him to do chores, let alone offer to help with something like this. I'm not complaining of course, it's way cheaper than having to pay for damages after your fights, but it's just odd seeing you two all buddy-buddy with each other." The navigator snorts as she swipes a fresh pepper from the salad to munch on, Usopp tries to take one too but is quickly stopped by a kebab stick to the hand from Sanji.

"No stealing food shitty long nose, not unless you want this up your nose instead." He warns the sharpshooter as he brandishes his weapon.

The sharpshooter whimpers pathetically and pulls his hand back, rubbing the sore spot. Sanji glares at him a little until he's satisfied that Usopp won't try that trick again. He glances back at the swordsman who is diligently working on the food, making sure that everything is being turned when it should be and checking on things.

"Hey, do this, it gives it some nice char." He says, ignoring Usopp and leaning against Zoro's side to survey the grill. He reaches out and takes Zoro's hand which is wrapped around a kebab stick with chicken skewered on it, he presses Zoro's hand down, pushing the chicken hard enough against the grill to char flame grill marks into the chicken.

"Aww, you're even holding hands now!" Nami giggles behind her hand, Sanji pulls his hand away quickly earning him a strange look from Zoro. The swordsman gestures to all of the chicken on the grill with a questioning expression.

"Yeah, do that to all of them." He mutters, glad that Zoro couldn't understand Nami.

"You know Nami, earlier when Sanji grabbed Zoro by the back of the neck, I thought he was going to kiss him or something!" Usopp cackles, clutching his stomach with laughter. Sanji's eyeballs damn near pop out of his head in shock and he nearly gives himself whiplash from snapping around to gawk as Usopp so fast.

"You're right!" Nami exclaims laughing loudly as well as if the idea of him kissing the swordsman was funny! It's not funny! It's terrifyingly weird and awful! He would never!

"What?! No way!" He squawks in embarrassment, feeling his face heat.

"Definitely!" Nami giggles, pointing at Sanji's scarlet cheeks.

"N-Nami-swan please don't say such things." He pouts, turning back to the grill. He jumps when he sees Zoro looking at him curiously. Sanji breathes a small sigh of relief that Zoro still can't seem to understand some of the others, he's not sure he wants to ever have that conversation with Zoro!

The swordsman might be oblivious to the words that Usopp and Nami are saying (thank god) but not to their teasing tone. Zoro shoots them a suspicious and disapproving look, Sanji doesn't know who Zoro thinks that the pair are mocking but he's sure as hell not going to translate.

"Come on Usopp, let's leave the lovebirds to it." Nami grins and pulls the maniacally laughing sharpshooter away across the beach and back towards the campfire.

Zoro's suspicious look flicks from the pair to Sanji and back a few times.

"Before you ask, they were teasing me, not talking about you." He mutters, trying to force down the blush.

"Shit Nami." The marimo mutters irritably.

"Oi, don't talk about Nami like that, bastard." Sanji shoots back, kicking Zoro in the ankle.

Zoro growls and shoves Sanji back, which predictably results in a fight and a fair amount of kicking, shoving and smacking with cooking utensils. It passes the time surprisingly well and takes Sanji's mind off of that considerably odd conversation with Nami and Usopp. Before he knows it it's time to serve up the people who waited for their food, unlike Luffy. Once they've done helping everyone serve themselves Sanji shoves Zoro off to go eat his own dinner and finishes putting round two into cook, once he's done with that he'll eat as well. As he's doing this however he notices Luffy sidle up to him quietly out of the corner of his eye.

"Go away Luffy, there isn't any more yet, this is all still raw or half cooked." He says flatly and skewers another piece of raw chicken onto a kebab stick and sets it sizzling onto the grill.

"Those ribs..." Luffy begins thoughtfully.

"There's definitely no more of THOSE." He says back a little tersely, not taking his eyes off of the food.

"No, I know. I just... Zoro made them right? Nami said." Luffy asks quietly, looking up at Sanji from under the brim of his precious hat. Sanji pauses and looks at their captain, he looks surprisingly young right now, Sanji sometimes forgets that Luffy is actually younger than him and Zoro, so maybe sometimes he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

"Yeah. It was pretty much the first thing he'd ever really cooked, I've been teaching him." Sanji agrees. The corners of Luffy's mouth tug down and the guilt is so evident on his face that it might as well set up a big neon sign. Oh boy.

"They were precious then." The captain says more to himself than to Sanji as he turns and heads off in Zoro's direction.

He watches with interest as Luffy drops down into the sand by Zoro. The swordsman who was just until a moment ago watching the sunset and eating quickly whips his plate further from Luffy, paranoid as they all are about theft.

Luffy doesn't go for Zoro's food though and instead takes his hat off of his head and puts it on Zoro's head, Luffy then shuffles a little closer and rests his head on Zoro's shoulder. Sanji watches the swordsman visibly un-tense and smiles to himself as the swordsman lets his own bandaged head drop to the top of Luffy's. It seems that all is forgiven. They stay like that for a few minutes before Usopp yells some outrageous lie that whips Luffy up off of the sand and heading towards the sharpshooter with yells of "so cool!" The swordsman stays sat on the sand with Luffy's hat on and a far more relaxed demeanour about him.

Sanji smiles to himself, he supposes that the captain and the first mate will be alright after all. Across the camp something Robin says makes Usopp and Nami giggle, instantly flashing Sanji's memory back to their teasing about Zoro. He tries to shake the thought out of his head but his mind keeps bringing it up again as if it was some mental itch.

Against his will his fingers remember the feel of Zoro's soft marimo hair winding through his fingers, a stark contrast to the rough texture of the bandages closer to the swordsman's wound. He remembers the intense look in the swordsman's eyes, the way his expression changed when he made eye contact with him. Spurred on by Usopp's words his mind drags him into a vision of what it could have been like if he'd pulled the other man a little closer and closed the gap between them, meeting his lips. What would Zoro's mouth even feel like? Maybe- no! He seriously wasn't thinking about this was he?! This was Zoro for goodness sake! Nothing like that would ever happen between them, thank god! Zoro would cut him in half, which was if he didn't throw himself in the ocean first!

He lets out a shaky breath and focuses on the food, that always makes sense. He turns the chicken again, noting with pleasure the nice colour that the grill always gives it. Unbidden his thoughts flick to Zoro tracing Sanji's lips with his fingers, before he can stop he's imagining Zoro chasing those fingers with his own mouth as he kisses him. His heart leaps into his throat and his stomach flutters uncomfortably, it's only the hand on his shoulder that startles him from his illicit thoughts. Out of sheer reflex he pivots on his toes, swinging the heel of his other foot around in a deadly arc. The second he realises that it's Zoro that he's attacking he harshly reigns the power back in as much as he can, but without Zoro's quick forearm block the other man would have been hit.

"I guess everything is back to normal then." He hears Franky laugh from across the beach. He ignores the cyborg and instead stares in slack jawed horror at the sight of the heel of his shoe held mere inches from Zoro's injured skull. The wide eyed swordsman had turned his face away at the moment of attack, out of reflex no doubt, but that had exposed the most vulnerable place on him at the moment.

"Oh god! I- I'm so sorry!" Sanji squeaks, snapping his leg back to him so quickly he nearly loses his balance.

Zoro stares wide eyed at him, mostly in shock but Sanji can't miss the hint of "what did I do wrong?" that lingers at the edge of Zoro's expression. Guilt flares hot and uncomfortable in Sanji's gut, swiftly torching any errant butterflies that had been there mere seconds before.

"I didn't mean to, sorry, I was thinking about something..." He searches for a word, "traumatising." He settles.

Zoro breathes out warily but nods, Sanji notices that he doesn't come any closer though.

"Sanji! What are you doing?! You can't fight Zoro, you're supposed to be looking after him!" Chopper snaps, bounding over to the pair of them with medical malice in his eyes.

"It was an accident!" He protests weakly, feeling full well like he has no entitlement to forgiveness from the doctor for almost maiming Zoro in his weakened state.

"You accidentally kicked him in the head?!" Chopper snaps sarcastically, his words a biting reminder that the cute cuddly Chopper stopped at a surgical line the moment his doctor role came into play. Sanji had nearly hurt one of his patients, right now that factor probably made him one of Chopper's enemies.

"I didn't actually touch his head, Zoro caught me in time." He says backing up a little bit.

"SANJI!" The doctor shouts angrily.

"Uh-uh." Zoro cuts in, shaking his head. Sanji starts, he had almost forgotten that Zoro was there. Zoro kneels down in the sand and catches Chopper by the shoulders and smiles at the little doctor and tilts his head offering Chopper the opportunity to see that he's unharmed.

"I get that you're both trying to get back to normal Sanji, and I know Zoro isn't an easy patient, believe me I know. But you don't understand Sanji, Zoro is injured." Chopper says softly, with a gentle smile on his face so that Zoro doesn't catch just what Chopper is saying.

"Believe me, I know." He answers, his eyes wandering again to the swathe of bandages on the back of Zoro's head which hide the metal plate and the injured entirety of everything that makes Zoro who he is inside it.

"I don't think you do Sanji, you know he's hurt, sure. But I don't think you understand really." The doctor says shaking his head.

"Your kicks are so much stronger than normal people's kicks, I don't think that you could hold yourself back to a normal person's level if you tried now. Even if Zoro was to stumble and hit his head on something by accident right now it could send him back into being completely aphasic again. If your kick had hit him Sanji, even with you barely trying… it almost certainly would have killed him." Chopper says quietly, looking up at him with his dark brown eyes.

"What?" Sanji breathes in horror.

"I know that you think Zoro is strong, and he is. But the only reason he's alive at all right now is because of how strong he is, and even so he might never get better than this, or he could get worse again. If your kick had connected Sanji we'd be burying Zoro tonight." The doctor says. His voice isn't cold or angry, he's not threatening or exaggerating, he's speaking as if what he's saying is a medical fact. He says it with the same certainty that he'd say that someone's heart stopping beating means that they're dead, he seems just as certain.

"I'll… I'll be more careful." Sanji forces himself to say.

"See that you are." The reindeer says and walks back to the others, leaving Sanji trembling in his shoes.

"Cook?" Zoro's quiet voice asks. Sanji looks down to see Zoro staring up at him with curious dark eyes, searching for some explanation of what just happened. Sanji can't bring himself to even think too much about the fact that he nearly just killed his nakama, how can he even wrap his mind about the idea that if Zoro hadn't caught his leg that he'd be dead on the beach? He can't even stand to think it, let alone put it into words for Zoro.

"Could you… could you help me with these please?" He asks shakily and points to the food.

"Yes." Zoro smiles up at him and stands up, picking up an empty plate and piling the food on it.

God… could he really have killed him? What… what would he have done if he had? He'd never have forgiven himself obviously, what would his nakama do? Surely they'd know that he wouldn't have meant to kill Zoro, but they probably would never be able to see past his betrayal of Zoro's trust. He's not sure that he could live with himself after that. A vision of Zoro crumpled in the sand again flashes behind his eyes, only this time instead of being sprawled by a blood covered rock it would be blood on Sanji's shoes and on his soul.

"Oi, cook." The swordsman prompts him quietly with a nudge of his elbow.

"I've got it, shut up." He argues back absently and gathers the rest of the food, including some on a plate for himself.

Zoro is nearly mauled by the men when he returns to the fire with more meat, Sanji is significantly less assaulted with his haul of bread and booze. Sanji settles down in front of the campfire, his eyes watching Zoro warily as he eats. The oblivious swordsman is drinking lemonade and watching Franky strum out a tune on his guitar with rapt attention.

When Franky starts to sing a familiar song, Sanji isn't sure what one but he knows that he's heard it before, Zoro starts to hum along with Franky's singing. The swordsman must remember the tune, but he's got the lilt of the words right in his humming too, so perhaps he remembers the words but just can't say them. The shipwright seems to think that this is amazing though and decides to belt out his song even louder with Brook leaping into the duo and adding his violin to the mix.

Sanji finds himself smiling at the sight despite himself.

A thought filters into his head without any real effort on his half, Zoro's apology earlier runs through his mind, the word that he never taught him.

"Chopper, Zoro said something today…" He starts, looking over at the doctor who has thankfully stopped looking at him like a murderer.

"That's good." The reindeer nods happily.

"No, well- it is. He's been talking loads whenever he knows the words, but that's not what I mean. I've been teaching him words, I say something and he eventually repeats it right and then he can sort of… say it again. It's as if he just has to learn it and suddenly he can use it whenever… as long as he doesn't get stressed." He muses, remembering Zoro's earlier wordless rage that completely erased his vocabulary.

"Good, that's progress." Chopper agrees happily.

"Except… he said sorry today, and I never taught him to say that. But when I asked him to say it again he couldn't, but I know I didn't just imagine it!" He adds quickly, wary of last time he made claims about Zoro's speech in public.

"That's normal Sanji, it means that he's healing, it just takes a while for those connections to become easily accessible whenever he wants, the fact that he's making spontaneous connections to words alone is a great sign. Just try to get him to repeat those kinds of words if he says them." The doctor chirps happily.

Sanji nods and goes back to his food, satisfied with Chopper's answers. He glances at Chopper and wonders if the doctor has forgiven him so easily or simply does not want to bring up the terrible thing that he nearly did to the rest of their nakama, either way he's grateful and makes sure to serve Chopper extra dessert later.

They all sleep on the beach that night, curled around the shrinking camp fire, but Sanji can't sleep well. Every time he closes his eyes and starts to drift off he can hear the sick sound that Zoro's head made when it connected with that rock on the beach, except this time it's when his shoe connects with Zoro's head. If he starts to dream at all he can feel the fragments of Zoro's skull against his skin, feel the hot slick of his blood dampen the sand and see the dead expression in the swordsman's eyes. In the end he settles for watching the sun rise and occasionally glancing at the peacefully resting swordsman, mumbling nonsense occasionally in his sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Sanji wakes up, the sand underneath him is starting to warm with the morning light and the dim embers of their campfire radiate some meagre warmth out to him. He'd been awake most of the night fretting about his near miss with Zoro, guilt and fear made for bad sleeping companions. But it seems that he'd dropped off at some point as most of his nakama seem to have wandered off. Usopp is curled up like a worm in his sleeping bag, talking softly to Franky who is stretched out beside him, both men have soft smiles and whilst Sanji doesn't understand the conversation he can tell that their conversation is technical. He knows from the wistful pull at Usopp's mouth that he's talking about Merry before he even hears her name from the sharpshooter's lips.

Sanji feels a pang at that. No one loved Merry as much as Usopp, but they all loved Merry deeply. A lost nakama. He glances around but sees no Zoro and he can't help his mind running over the thought that Zoro was so nearly lost too. In the same way that Merry's keel was shattered from a bad landing, so was Zoro's skull, only this one Franky could fix. What good would that have been though if he'd put his heel right through Zoro's healing head?

The thought sends a shiver down his spine and sets him onto his feet with an agitating itch to see Zoro alive and well with his own eyes.

He sets off towards the sea in the direction of the Sunny, he can make out Chopper and Nami's figures in the distance, and from the looks of it Nami is trying to restrain Luffy from doing something dumb. Perhaps they know where his idiot is hiding.

"But I wanna join him!" Luffy protests, wriggling and writhing in the headlock Nami has him in, his neck stretching as he tries to back into the ocean despite Nami's hold.

"You'll drown moron, how many times do I have to tell you?!" Nami chastises him, giving their captain's head a good punch with her free hand for good measure.

"Why does Luffy want to go swimming?" he asks, stepping up to the sea shore, his bare feet relishing the warm water lapping at his toes.

Before Nami can answer him though he sees his answer, bobbing in the waves is an unmistakable head of marimo green.

"What the hell is he doing out there?!" Sanji yelps, his heart leaping into his throat. He scrambles out of his jacket, he needs to get out there and pull Zoro back to shore before the marimo drowns!

"I took off his bandages, his wound is more or less healed, and it needs some fresh air. The salt water isn't actually bad for it, so it doesn't matter that he's swimming as long as we dry him off afterwards. He'll be fine Sanji." Chopper smiles up at him gently, his eyes quickly flicking back to Zoro.

"What if he passes out?! I'm going to get him dumb ass back here!" He snaps and sprints into the ocean. When the waves hit his thighs he dives under the next wave and swims, by the time he breaks the surface again the waves are no longer breaking where he is and simply bobbing him up and down. He's still far too far away from Zoro though who seems to be happily swimming around, oblivious to the danger he could be in.

As if it was ripped from his worst nightmares Zoro sinks below the water, disappearing from sight. He must have fainted! Sanji speeds up his swimming, going at breakneck speed. He's thrashing so fast that he's barely able to coordinate his sucking breaths with his strokes and not drown himself too. He gets to where he saw Zoro last and is just about to dive when he feels a hand skirt up his leg and ghost over his hip.

Sanji yelps instinctively and Zoro's head breaks the water, the swordsman heaving in a massive gasp. The marimo shakes his bandage free head and grins broadly at Sanji, uncaring about the frantic hammering of Sanji's panicked heart.

"What the FUCK asshole?! I thought you were drowning!" He snarls and slams an angry palm into Zoro's chest, splashing water into the laughing man's face in the process.

"No!" Zoro laughs loudly and smiles. The idiot grabs Sanji's arm and forces something cool, solid and broad into his palm. The swordsman grins and points down before diving once more. Perplexed Sanji pulls his hand up and sees that Zoro has handed him a clam easily as big as his palm.

He takes a breath and sticks his head under the surface of the sea. He doesn't like opening his eyes underwater in the salt, it makes his eyes itch, but a lifetime of living on a ship has made him used to it. As his vision clears he sees Zoro pulling another clam free from a giant submerged rock covered in clams, oysters and all sorts of delicious looking shellfish. There are even a few giant clams there, their big mouths opening and shutting lazily in the underwater currents. The eddies in the water ruffle Zoro's green hair, making him look every bit the sea-weed head that he always accuses him of being.

Zoro's head must shift slightly as he pulls another clam free and Sanji catches a flash of silver, but before he can stare too long Zoro is looking up at him and swimming back to the surface again. When the swordsman breaks the surface once more he hands Sanji two more sizeable clams before pulling his shirt off and knotting the bottom of it to make a makeshift bag. He then takes the clams back off of Sanji and puts them in there.

"From what I can see, all of those down there are edible." Sanji muses, already running his hands mentally over the contents of the fridge and cupboards, pulling together recipes and sauces in his mind.

"No." Zoro gasps in sarcastic mock surprise. A tone that perfectly conveys the attitude of "why the fuck else would I be getting them, idiot?"

"Shut your face." He snaps back and kicks Zoro in the shin, the blow only slightly dulled by the water.

"Hey, Chopper took your bandages off. Can I see?" He asks quietly. Zoro shrugs but doesn't move, he simply continues to tread water. Obviously, if Sanji wants to see he's going to have to work for it. Sanji huffs to himself and slides gracefully through the water until he's behind Zoro, his feet gently paddling in the water to keep him still and afloat.

Sanji leans in close to Zoro, the waves splashing somewhat as the water is trapped between them. He remembers all too well the mess that was the back of Zoro's head when he hit the rock, now it's not so bad at all. It seems like Franky managed to piece back a hell of a lot more of Zoro's skin than he thought that he would be able to, but he supposes that a man who was once hit by a train has a lot of experience with that sort of thing. Zoro's hair is short and fuzzy in the back where the majority of the damage was. Sanji thinks that it looks as if it feels like the texture of kiwi fruit skin, if kiwi fruits were even fuzzier.

It has to be said that even with Franky's skills though there's still a sizable strip in the back of Zoro's head, a least half an inch high and a couple of inches wide, where there's no skin or hair at all and just the clean sheen of metal. It's curved and slightly matte in texture by the look of it, though the water makes it shinier. With a hesitant trembling hand he reaches up and touches one fingertip to the plate, gracing it with the barest of touches. It's very warm to the touch, despite the water.

"Can you feel that?" He asks warily drawing his finger back.

"Hm? No?" Zoro frowns, looking over his shoulder at him as if he'd not even been aware that Sanji had done anything. Zoro goes back to looking in his makeshift bag and Sanji reaches out and touches his plate again. He's heard before that your brain itself has no nerve endings in it, it's just your scalp and skull that do, or something like that. He supposes that this plate is neither. The warmth radiates out through the metal and Sanji shudders uncomfortably, it's not that the back of Zoro's head looks gross or anything. On the contrary, if he saw it on someone he didn't know he'd think it looked pretty cool. He just can't escape the disquieting knowledge that all that Zoro is, all that he nearly lost, is contained just below his fingertips.

It frightens him somewhere deep and primal to know that despite Zoro's speed, strength and size he's still just this. He's still just a mind, housed in a brain, protected by bone and now some metal and all it takes to simply erase all of that is one kick or hard enough impact and it all vanishes. He snaps his hand back, feeling sick. Zoro doesn't seem to notice though as he turns, grins at Sanji, takes his hand and drags him under water.

Keen for the distraction he and Zoro dive over and over again, collecting molluscs of varying species and shoving them into Zoro's makeshift bag that was previously his shirt. Sanji would object to Zoro using his shirt like this if it wasn't the closest thing to a wash that Zoro's clothes got.

With a full bag ready for dinner they swim back to shore engaging in a relatively friendly race back, relatively friendly in that it only requires a minimal amount of yelling, punching and shoving en route as opposed to the usual out and out warfare.

"Oh wow, meat for dinner?!" Luffy gasps excitedly as he peers in their bag as they step out of the ocean.

"Sure. Nothing beats fresh shellfish." Sanji nods, picking up his dry jacket from the beach and fishing his smokes out of the breast pocket. He lights up and breathes in a soothing lungful of smoke; he holds it for a few seconds before releasing it in a long stream above his head.

Zoro apparently didn't get any manners knocked into his head when he landed on that rock as by the time Sanji turns around he's fucked off down the beach and towards the mini merry that they came ashore in.

"Oi, asshole! Wait for me!" He yells after Zoro and chases him, struggling to get into his jacket at the same time. He scrambles into the boat and the two of them set off to the Sunny together, still dripping wet they climb up the side of the ship and get started on a delicious seafood lunch, working side by side.

The whole day has seemed insanely peaceful so far and Zoro seems to be miles happier with his bandages off. It's probably some psychological thing, if he has bandages on he must be injured, but if not then surely he's okay. It's dumb logic that makes no sense but some people just think like that he supposes. It must apply to the rest of the crew because they seem more relaxed around him as well; Franky and Usopp are no longer treating Zoro as if he's made of glass. Sanji even caught Zoro roughhousing with Usopp earlier.

None of it sits easily with Sanji, he knows full well now how fragile Zoro's injured brain really is and he doesn't like the idea of any of them being responsible for hurting Zoro. Aside from damaging or killing their nakama being a terrible thing he's not sure that any of them could live with themselves if they were responsible for such a thing. Before the play fight can get out of hand and hurt Zoro he calls the swordsman in to help him with some task that he'd intended on doing alone and plays off the occurrence as him needing to teach the other man more words.

Still, the Sunny bobs happily through the ocean steadily bringing them closer to their goals. He looks up from his place at the stove where he cooks sliced chorizo and chicken to watch the swordsman. Zoro is quietly cleaning the shellfish, only the occasional growl disturbing the peace when a particularly troublesome one finds its way into his hands. He wonders what Zoro would do if their ship happened to bump into Mihawk's coffin like boat in the next month, or the next week, hell, in the next hour even. He doesn't even need to think on it, he knows that Zoro would rush to his swords and take the World's greatest on regardless of his condition. Zoro was willing to die for his dream and didn't seem to care much if he did or not. But Sanji cares.

He squeezes his eyes shut as the memory of not knowing if Zoro would live or die runs back to him. The sick feeling of fear hanging around him all the time, no matter what he did Zoro would live or die on his own. Zoro's blank and bloodied face with empty unfocused eyes, resting in a pool of his own blood in the sand appears in his mind and makes him shudder. It was far too close of a call.

"Are you done with those yet?" He grumbles in Zoro's direction, his thoughts putting him into a bad mood.

"Hm… yes." Zoro says thoughtfully, dropping the last few muscles into a colander in the sink. Sanji picks up the colander and pours it all in, a few of them still in their pretty little shells whilst the larger clams were diced up by himself.

Zoro leans over, his chin nearly resting on Sanji's shoulder, as he sceptically looks at the dish Sanji is making. He fishes a discarded shell out of the sink and holds it up in front of Sanji's face with a confused frown.

"Are you asking why some of them are still in their shells?" He questions, glancing back down to the dish to stir it again.

Zoro doesn't answer but Sanji sees him palm the shell and his hand comes close to Sanji's face. Zoro's thumb gently touches the edge of Sanji's lips, his free fingers just barely making contact with Sanji's stubbled jaw. Zoro's thumb slides along Sanji's lips to the centre, feeling far more like a caress than any other time Zoro has ever touched him and it sends shudders running up and down all of the vertebrae of Sanji's spine.

Sanji scrambles to recall his words and, having no idea what word Zoro wanted, simply picks one.

"Why?" He says in barely more than a breath.

"Why." Zoro echoes. Sanji pulls away, stirring urgently at his pan and stirring as if it needed his utmost concentration.

"Well, because… some of them were too big to leave like that and… and it makes it look good. Presentation is important- very important… you do half of your eating with your taste, half with smell and half with your eyes." He explains disjointedly as he tries to herd his scattered thoughts back together.

"Uh, cook?" Zoro snorts, Sanji glances up at him and sees the swordsman holding up three fingers. Sanji recounts mentally, that had given him three halves.

"Oh shut your face, you know what I mean. Go get me that risotto rice." He snaps and shoves the chopped vegetables into the pan with a satisfying sizzle. Zoro chuckles to himself and opens the cupboard nearest him, Sanji suspects that it's a guess but it happens to be right so he's not going to call Zoro on it.

He's stirring the vegetables around in his pan and trying desperately to convince himself that any redness in his face is just as a result of the heat and not Zoro touching him. It's then that he realises that he's not been poked and questioned about the rice by Zoro. He looks over to see the swordsman staring at the various packets of rice in bewilderment. It takes Sanji a moment to realise that Zoro can't actually read the labels on them at the moment.

"The third one." He clarifies, gesturing with the spoon.

Zoro grabs it and hands it to him. Sanji pours the appropriate amount of rice in for the number of people they have on the crew, and then half as much again seeing as how Luffy eats like a starved pig. He stirs the small grains of rice around in his large paella pan, letting them soak up the oil and flavours before pouring on his seafood stock.

Once again Zoro is standing in close looking at what he's doing, too close in fact. It's starting to make Sanji's skin itch.

"I'm going to go have a shower, keep that stirred." He orders Zoro as he throws in a few bay leaves and some saffron.

"Why?" Zoro calls as Sanji walks by him. Sanji instantly regrets teaching Zoro any word that means that he'll question him.

"Because I'm all sticky from the sea salt and it makes my clothes itchy, besides I've not showered today and unlike you I don't consider simply being in water, especially the ocean, a substitute for washing." He says snootily. Zoro pulls an unimpressed face at him from across the room.

"Just do what you're told for once in your stupid mossy life!" He orders exasperatedly.

"Tsh, shit cook." Zoro snorts and turns back to the paella, obediently stirring.

Sanji stomps off down to the men's bunkroom, more out of the principle of being annoyed rather than any actual annoyance. He stops by his wardrobe to pick up clean clothes. He's the only one of the men who owns enough clothes to warrant one, though Franky owns almost as much as he does the shipwright's penchant for not wearing an awful lot means that his clothes take up significantly less space. Zoro on the other hand just has one chest of clothes and seems to wear one thing until he either tires of it or it gets destroyed in training or a fight, either way, the man doesn't do an awful lot of laundry or keep an awful lot of clean clothes. He huffs irritably to himself and grabs clean clothes before turning to go to the bathroom.

He locks himself inside, kicks off his shoes and switches the shower on, letting the room fill with steam. It's kind of nice having someone helping in the kitchen like this, it means that he's not tied to the room for almost the entire day, he can leave if he needs to. Having Zoro around him has actually been far more of a benefit than he'd ever anticipated. With the stupid arguments taken out he actually enjoys the man's company.

He considers that as he slides his shirt off, his bare skin reacting in goose bumps to the cold. It's not that he and Zoro don't fight now, they do, they certainly bicker and agitate each other- as much as is possible with Zoro's vocabulary anyway. But… he can't really understand Zoro unless he pays close attention to the other man, and in doing so it's easy to see that Zoro doesn't really hate him, he just enjoys pissing Sanji off. Which works wonderfully because he gets a kick out of it too.

He shimmies out of the rest of his clothes and tosses them all in the laundry basket after carefully removing his smokes, lighter and keys. After that he steps into the soothing shower spray with a gratified groan. He scrubs at his hair first, getting all of the salt out. As much as he likes the sea, saltwater makes his hair feel dull and sticky, he doesn't like it and if he has the opportunity to get it clean he will. Unlike the rest of his male nakama who almost never shower or bathe, pigs.

God some of his nakama were annoying, like Usopp and his stupid kissing joke. That shit had got in his brain and messed with his system so much he'd nearly killed Zoro by accident! You couldn't just say stuff like that as a joke. And what a joke it was, as if he'd ever do something like that with Zoro. That was… ridiculous.

He stills under the spray and lets the water run over his body, it wasn't as if… it wasn't as if the idea appealed to him or anything. He worries at his wet lip and lets his mind wander that way, as if to prove it to himself. Yes, once he knows for sure that the idea is stupid and really does nothing for him then he can let it go, and this time with no marimo to interrupt him and nearly get killed he's fine.

So then...

He closes his eyes and mentally flashes back to only minutes ago in the kitchen. He remembers Zoro's thumb brushing his lips in a way that was almost a caress and Zoro was so very, very close, his shoulder was pressed against Zoro's chest. Then he turns from remembering to imagining, he imagines that Zoro hadn't looked at him with his expectant eyes, wanting a word repeated, he imagines instead that Zoro's gaze had drifted down to Sanji's mouth, he imagines the gentle hand on his jaw tilting his head just so as Zoro moves closer.

Both in his imagination and in reality he gasps in anticipation. He imagines Zoro's nose brushing his cheek as he slants his mouth just so against Sanji's, how salt-chapped lips would slide slickly against his own. He supposes that with Zoro being the way that he is he would be confident in what he was doing, always self-assured regardless of if the fucker had any idea what to do. The bastard would probably press the advantage of surprise and deepen the kiss with his tongue before Sanji knew what was going on. Yeah, something like that. Sanji bites his lip and shudders. It would get competitive quickly if they kissed though… it would get fierce with the challenge of teeth. Zoro would no doubt use his brute strength and try to shove Sanji against the counter but he'd dig his heel right into the back of Zoro's thigh, threatening to cut off his circulation and drop him to the ground, just to remind the fucker who has the strength in that situation. He'd take advantage of that fact, after all, if they were in his kitchen it would be his home ground advantage and Zoro would be an idiot not to know that. It would be half like making out and half fighting and it would be entirely fantastic. He imagines how differently every fight they've had could have gone if whenever they got to close quarters and Zoro grabbed a fist of his hair or slammed him against something, how amazing would that have been if it always led to this?

Fuck.

Sanji doesn't even need to look down to know just how hard thinking about this has got him. So much for the idea being unappealing. Fucking Usopp with his fucking big mouth.

He pointedly ignores his dick and angrily shampoos his hair. What the hell was up with him? He'd never felt anything like this for Zoro before, or any other man for that matter! It wasn't as if head trauma was a turn on for him or anything so what gives?

He sticks his head under the spray and tries to rationalise. He's been really highly strung lately, there's no denying that. He was anxious as fuck the whole time Zoro was in his coma and wound up as all hell when he woke up and didn't talk, Zoro didn't fight with him so all that pent up energy was just building up in him. It wasn't as if he'd had any time to himself for this kind of thing since Zoro cracked his skull open like a walnut anyway. So… it was just tension and frustration was all.

Except… usually if he gets too hot under the collar from deprivation it would be thoughts of Nami or Robin, or even Nami and Robin that would be haunting him in the shower. That doesn't explain why it's Zoro in his head. He groans and reaches for the conditioner, dumping a load of it on his hair and working it in. Despite his best intentions, rubbing his scalp like that feels pretty good and his treacherous brain imagines Zoro's rough fingers instead of something more wholesome like Nami's dainty digits.

Shit.

Why Zoro? Why now?

Well… Zoro's method of relearning speech is pretty sensual, even if the marimo doesn't mean it that way usually no one would touch Sanji like that unless they were having sex or just about to kiss. So it makes sense that his mind is connecting the two. That feels like pretty flimsy reasoning even to him.

He opens his eyes a little and looks down at his dick, still there, still incredibly hard. Great. Well, maybe he just needed to get this out of his system. Yeah, he could just… release all of this tension and then things would be fine again. He slides his hand lower down his stomach and decides to let his mind do what it wants and instantly he's picturing that those are Zoro's hands on him. Throwing all sane thought to the wind he just goes with it.

Zoro's lips are on his shoulders as he looks down and watches, one hand running up Sanji's lean torso, trailing heat along sweat slicked skin as he does so. Zoro's other hand slides lower, making Sanji bite his own lip to keep the whine in. Zoro's hand wraps around him, stroking with strong grip as-

"Oi! Cook!"

Sanji leaps about a foot in the air, despite being the voice that matched his fantasy just then it certainly didn't come from his own head. He releases his terrified death grip on his own cock and squeezes his eyes shut, desperately hoping that Zoro will just go away.

"Cook!" Zoro's voice calls him again. His dick twitches treacherously at the voice and Sanji hates himself a little more.

"WHAT?!" He yells back angrily.

Only silence follows. A heavy pointed silence though. Ah, yes, the not talking thing. Right.

"Is the kitchen on fire?" He asks, readying himself for a stupid game of twenty questions instead of jerking off like he wants to be.

"No." Zoro answers.

He supposes he could jerk off to the sound of Zoro's voice with him right there and- the FUCK was wrong with him?!

"Is the food burnt?" He guesses, removing his hands entirely from himself and setting them on the shower wall so as to remove temptation.

"No." Zoro answers again.

"Has something gone wrong with the food that you don't know how to fix?" He asks further.

"Yes!" the marimo answers, sounding pleased.

"Great. Do you really need me right now? I'm kind of… busy." He says, looking down at his still entirely full cock. His hands itch to get back to touching it but he's not going to do that with Zoro right there.

"Yeeees." Zoro whines at him through the door. Sanji smirks to himself, the old Zoro never would have whined like a kid about something like this, but then the old Zoro would have had the vocabulary to insist that he help right now and also somehow belittle him. But without it the most Zoro can do is to express that he really needs Sanji's help. Taking his speech away has stripped Zoro pretty bare and… and he likes that.

"Alright, I'll be out in a minute let me just wash the stuff out of my hair. Get back upstairs, I'll be right there." He sighs. Despite so long trying to get to know the marimo he never got to, so he resorted just to fighting with him all the time. Which was cool, he enjoyed the fights and he knew Zoro did too, but he'd thought that he and Zoro could never have any other kind of connection, no matter how much he… wanted… to. Shit. He'd always wanted something more from Zoro but he'd just shoved it down.

Apparently it wasn't just his defensive layers that he wanted to strip Zoro of, it's his clothes too. Well, shit. So this isn't just garden variety sexual frustration then. He glares down at his dick, the damn thing always gets him in trouble.

"Thanks for making this way more complicated than it needed to be." He mutters to it and sharply turns the temperature gauge on the shower to freezing cold and steps into it with a pained yelp. He shudders under the arctic spray and quickly washes his hair clean of conditioner whilst the temperature drop kills his protesting erection.

Still shivering he clambers from the shower, roughly dries off and throws his clean clothes on. He doesn't bother with shoes and instead stomps up barefoot to the kitchen. He hangs back at the galley door though when he hears Usopp's voice inside.

"Oh come on Zoro, you can ask Sanji if you like, he always lets me have them." Usopp says with a huff of irritation. Sanji frowns suspiciously and peeks around the door. Zoro is standing between Usopp and the fridge with his best intimidation face on.

It's… interesting to watch actually.

He's seen Zoro kill people of course, they all have. Zoro really gets into it actually, probably because it's the most that he gets to use his skill and also because it's him proving yet again that he's better than other people at that skill. The look of sick glee and concentration is what Sanji has internally dubbed Zoro's "psycho face". He never looks at his nakama like that though, not ever. Even he never gets that look from Zoro. What Zoro does do is this, he looks as big and threatening as possible- which to be fair is pretty big and threatening, and if he has the vocabulary he'd be threatening to do creative things with Usopp's insides. Usually that would be enough to either scare a nakama away or to engage Sanji into a fight. It's almost like watching a cat puff up its fur to scare something off, it's kind of… funny.

"Hey, hey, don't give me that look Zoro! Please, just… just give me the chillies. Sanji doesn't like them being wasted, I'll preserve half for him and use half for my stars, that's where I get the pepper from. So just let me- hey!" Usopp squeaks as he tries to get past Zoro only for the swordsman to shove him back. Zoro is right to disbelieve the little liar's tale, he never gives Usopp chillies from his fridge, not at all.

He slides into the kitchen and stealthily sneaks up behind the sharpshooter; having no shoes on has its plus sides it seems. Zoro grins and sticks his fingers in his ears just as Sanji leans up to Usopp's ear and very softly whispers "boo" in his ear. The sharpshooter shrieks and leaps about a foot in the air. From the ringing in Sanji's ears he rather wishes that he'd done the same and blocked his own ears.

"I give you what from my kitchen now, long nose?" he purrs dangerously at the rapidly paling Usopp.

"I- I- Ihavetogobye!" Usopp squeaks and dashes out of the kitchen, ducking past Sanji to do so. Sanji has to give it to the lying little idiot, he really can move fast when he wants to.

"Long-nose." Zoro murmurs quietly.

Sanji's gaze snaps around to the swordsman who is standing thoughtfully with his fingers on his lips.

"Shitty long-nose." Zoro adds thoughtfully.

"Most sensible thing you've ever said. Now what's this cooking emergency that you had to drag me from my shower for?" He asks, his hands on his hips.

Zoro snags a finger inside Sanji's belt and yanks his forward, showing him the paella with a distressed look on his face. Sanji inspects it, there's nothing wrong with it at all. It's not done cooking yet but otherwise it's fine.

"What?" He demands looking back up at Zoro.

Zoro frowns the points at the rice before pointing at his teeth.

"Well, of course it got stuck in your teeth if you tried to eat it, it's not cooked yet. And why haven't you added any water?" He huffs, filling a glass with water under the tap and pouring it into the cooking paella as he puts it back on the burner.

"Water?" Zoro growls at him.

"Yeah like I-" he trails off. Actually, he hadn't explained that Zoro needed to keep adding water until the rice was cooked. He'd been so flustered by Zoro's presence that he'd just… what? Assumed that everyone knew how to cook? He'd given some vague instructions and bolted to the shower and ended up trying to jerk off to Zoro instead.

Zoro's hand shifts against his belt as he pulls him slightly closer and growls in irritation at him. That should piss him off, but all it does instead is makes his apparently no longer sulking cock twitch with renewed interest. Fuck, there is something wrong with his brain.

"Alright dumbass! Out! I have to cook since you got me off- I mean out of the shower, now shoo!" He shouts, loudly talking over his slip and shoving Zoro from the room.

He lets his head thunk against the door heavily and lends himself a moment of self-pity. He's attracted to Zoro, and it's not going away. He stirs the paella and thinks a little more, usually he'd realise that this is a problem and avoid Zoro until it went away, but he couldn't do that. He wouldn't risk Zoro losing the ability to talk just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. No, he was just going to have to deal with this no matter how awkward it might be.

Freed from Zoro's enticing presence he continues cooking and eventually bullies Usopp into setting the table as recompense for his earlier attempts to steal chillies. He spots Zoro up in the crow's nest staring out into the sea. He could have asked Zoro down there with him to help serve lunch but the idea of being alone with him in closed quarters so soon seems… inadvisable.

He sets out bowls of steaming paella down at everyone's places and sets about ensuring everyone has drinks as his nakama bound into the galley one by one. All except Zoro. He's about to go looking for the idiot when Zoro bursts into the kitchen, startling everyone as he does so. He launches himself at Sanji, snags a fistful of his shirt at the front and yanks him right back out of the room.

"What the hell?!" He yelps as Zoro hauls ass up the steps to the ship's wheel.

Zoro makes a desperate sound in his throat and lets go of him, he grabs the binoculars up off of the bench and throws them at Sanji's head. Luckily Sanji manages to catch them and reluctantly brings them up to his face to look in the direction that Zoro is frantically gesturing at.

He scans the horizon and feels his stomach drop in dread as he sees just what Zoro had spotted, there are three very large marine ships heading right their way. Whether that's deliberate or not, he doesn't know, but if they keep on that course they're going to intercept the Sunny for sure.

He lowers the binoculars and looks at Zoro. The swordsman is looking at him with wide expectant eyes and his posture is humming with energy, Sanji knows that look, Zoro wants a fight. Zoro will… Zoro will fight those marines if they get here. But if Zoro gets hit right now he'll die. One errant rubber fist of their captain's, one misaimed star from Usopp's slingshot, a stray bullet from Franky or shot of lightning from Nami… all of those could jolt Zoro's injured head enough to destroy him. None of that even accounts for the damage that Zoro could do to himself, he could trip or crack his head on something again or perhaps the marines might actually get him. In less than a second Sanji sees a vision of a thousand ways that Zoro could die, all playing mercilessly behind his eyes.

He… he can't do that. He can't allow that to happen. Right now Zoro needs protecting from everyone, including himself and there's nothing that Sanji will stop at to keep him safe. If he has to run from a fight so be it. Thankfully his pause was long enough for Zoro to step into his space with a look of concern on his face. Sanji quickly wraps his arm around Zoro's middle and pulls the lever by the ship's wheel, setting the Sunny off on a Coup de Burst away from the marines. He holds on tight to Zoro and the wheel as the ship flies, no doubt everyone in the galley downstairs is now wearing their lunch but he'll take that cost.

The ship skips across the sea like a stone as it lands, before gently coming to a halt. He lets go of Zoro who stumbles back in shock, right after that the galley door below them bursts open and his food splattered nakama emerge.

"Whoa! Are you under attack?!" Luffy gasps, hurling himself up to their level and looking around them excitedly.

"No, but I was." He lies immediately. He dusts himself off and shoots a glare at the startled looking marimo.

"What? You two were fighting again?" Nami groans disapprovingly as she rubs some food from her beautiful cheek.

"Oh, I didn't mean to my swan! He just dragged me out here like a crazy person and then attacked me, I'm afraid we knocked the wheel when I was trying to defend myself." He apologises effusively, the lies tripping from his lips with ease.

Zoro's hand grabs him by the elbow and yanks him around. The swordsman grabs his shirt and angrily shakes his head, gesturing with his free hand at the place in the ocean where the ships were.

"Get off of me you psycho, you see what I have to put up with?" He sighs dramatically, batting Zoro away as he does so.

"Sanji, you really shouldn't be fighting Zoro! Remember what I said!" Chopper says disapprovingly.

"I know, I know, I was just trying to keep him away from me. I didn't lay a toe on him, honest, he's perfectly fine." Sanji says soothingly, gesturing to Zoro's unharmed form.

Zoro is still shaking his head, looking at the rest of their nakama like they've all lost their minds and looking at Sanji with anger. He keeps gesturing to the ocean and sure enough Usopp pulls his goggles down and squints at the horizon. Sanji holds his breath and really hopes that he got them away far enough.

"There's nothing out there, I don't know what he's pointing at." The sharpshooter frowns, looking back at Zoro like he's lost his marbles. Sanji knows that Zoro can't understand Usopp, but his tone and his look of scepticism clearly say enough.

Zoro's crestfallen look is nearly enough to break Sanji's heart, but not nearly enough to break his resolve. Everyone is telling them both off for fighting and making a mess, everyone believes him and Zoro can't tell anyone what he really saw. Zoro is safe.

"Well, I'd better clean up." He says innocently and backs down the stairs and into the galley. He shuts the door after himself and sighs, that was close. Too close.

He surveys the galley with the air of a man who knows just how much time it will take to clean the damn place. There's food splattered on every surface and a fair amount of broken crockery. The Coup de Burst is more than powerful enough to shoot the ship far away from marines but the price for that is that everything not nailed down gets shaken around like a child's toy. He goes behind the counter, picks up a trash bag and starts to gather the debris up, piling anything broken beyond repair and bits of food not worth saving for fish bait into the bin whilst everything else either goes aside for cleaning or other uses.

He's barely any way into clearing the table when Zoro bursts into the room with a face like thunder and slams the door shut behind him. He looks up through his hair and Zoro points at him furiously, his finger actually shaking with anger.

Sanji lets the bag drop to the floor and stands up, Zoro's mad enough to fight him and he's not going to let his reflexes kick in because he's unprepared. He refuses to allow himself to risk Zoro's life again so he needs to be prepared for the situation he's about to be thrown in.

"You got something to say?" he asks flatly, arranging his face into a look of contempt.

"Yes!" the sword-less swordsman snarls back at him, taking two angry paces towards him.

"Cook! …" Zoro's mouth hangs open as no other sound emerges and agitation fills his eyes.

"I lied?" He suggests, deciding to spare Zoro the trouble of miming such a concept.

"YES!" Zoro shouts loud enough to make Sanji's ears ring. Zoro stares at him for a moment before his look of anger is slowly edged aside for one of hurt and confusion.

"Why?" he asks quietly.

"You didn't really leave me any choice." Sanji answers, looking aside. He doesn't feel quite able to meet that upset stare.

"You were going to tell the others when I didn't, and they would have steered the ship towards the marines and fought them. Even if- and this is a big if, even if you'd been smart and not fought them yourself the others would have. The ship would have been filled with marines and fighting and… and you would have been killed. I won't let that happen. So I'm not sorry, and I'd do it again if I had to." He answers defiantly, looking at the shocked Zoro.

"Wh- cook… why…?" Zoro asks, drawing a cut across his neck with his finger as he talks- miming his throat being cut. Sanji gets his meaning; Zoro doesn't understand why he'd die.

"You don't get it, do you? You don't think you'd die." Sanji states flatly. Zoro raises his eyebrows at him, as if obviously he doesn't understand.

"See, this is why I did it. You're an idiot, and a weak one at that." He states.

Now that gets a reaction out of Zoro. The man's eyes widen and his spine straightens in shock as if Sanji had actually just slapped him about the face.

"Wh-weak?" Zoro repeats in shock.

"You are. But you don't get it do you? That's why this is dangerous and why I lied. Your brain is still scrambled in that half metal head of yours, one knock, one slight hit and it's lights out for you forever. You're too weak to fight and too dumb to know it." He accuses angrily, why can't Zoro just understand that he's doing this for his own good?

"NO!" Zoro snarls and grabs a fistful of Sanji's shirt front and slamming him back into the wall behind him and shoving him at least a foot off of the floor. Sanji lets him.

"I'm not going to fight you Zoro, I didn't go through all that trouble of protecting you just to kill you myself. I'm not going to lay so much as a toe on you." He promises, looking down at the open mouthed Zoro.

"No… Nami… Robin!" Zoro snaps angrily. Sanji tilts his head at that and it actually takes him a few moments to grasp what Zoro means. The marimo is complaining that he's treating him as he would a lady, refusing to fight back or attack him.

"No, you're not. But I'm still not going to attack you any more than I would attack them." He replies. Zoro gasps and drops Sanji to the floor, he looks… wounded almost.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm not doing this to insult you, I'm doing it for your own good." Sanji tries to reason. Zoro shakes his head vigorously and desperately grabs Sanji's right arm, he yanks him forward and shoves his hand up Sanji's sleeve revealing his bare arm. With two deliberate swipes of his finger Zoro draws a cross on the top of Sanji's forearm.

It was… it was their sign to Vivi that they were nakama, just like they'd done in the desert to show who they really were to each other.

"Of course we're nakama, dumbass. That's why I'm doing this." He reasons, Zoro's taking this all way too personally.

Zoro lets him go and stumbles back away from him. Zoro's thousand degree scowl swings away from him and the swordsman instead scowls at the wall. He's thinking about it, Sanji can practically see the cogs turning in his head. He's angry though, really angry, and upset too. Sanji waits in silence for Zoro to get it and accept what he's done for him. Sure enough Zoro's scowl fades and his breathing becomes less angry. Figuring it's safe he steps in closer and places his hand on Zoro's shoulder, it'll be a bit of a change until Zoro's truly better- if ever, but Zoro has to accept it.

Quick as lightning though Zoro smacks his hand off of his shoulder and gives Sanji the coldest and most malevolent look he's ever seen. It stops him dead and in his hesitation Zoro grabs Sanji's middle finger and pulls it backwards.

"HEY! Stop that!" He yelps, twisting his wrist backward and stepping closer so that Zoro doesn't snap the damn thing off. Zoro doesn't relent though, he keeps pulling the digit backwards, towards Sanji's forearm as if to break it right off.

"What the hell?! Let me go!" He yells, fighting the urge to kick Zoro. Usually he'd have kicked Zoro clean through the wall for daring to threaten his precious hands but he can't hurt him. He won't! So he bends. The more Zoro pulls the more he arcs backwards and the more he forces his elbow up to ease the pressure in his knuckle.

He struggles but he daren't do so too hard or else he might lose the finger completely! He catches Zoro's expression and the shock of it makes his knees buckle to the floor below him.

Zoro's face is devoid of emotion, there is no compassion or mercy there, no anger, no challenge. It's not Zoro trying to make himself big, he's not threatening or snarling like he did to Usopp earlier. No, this isn't that. This face doesn't threaten this face is cold and deadly, a face that thousands of marines have taken to their grave burnt into their minds as the last thing they saw. Zoro means to break his hands and it's not a threat, it's a promise. Zoro doesn't care who he is anymore, not at all. Zoro continues to pull until Sanji's head hits the floor and then he continues still. Sanji's back arches until he's practically on the crown of his head, his elbow is as high as it will go and the heel of his hand right by his ear and his middle finger bent back in Zoro's unrelenting grasp almost to the ceiling.

At such a close distance Sanji can hear the joint creak as the pain fires hot in his system. This is it, he can't bend any more, he can't stretch and he won't kick Zoro. But this means that at the very least his finger will dislocate and snap. Maybe it could be put back but probably not, fingers are delicate things. His cooking will never be the same, his precious hand will never be the same. He shakes and his eyes fill against his will. Zoro's face is inches from his and now his expression changes, the cold look is replaced with a disgusted snarl.

"Weak." Zoro growls in his ear and releases his finger.

Sanji collapses into a heap on the floor, curling protectively around his hand. He clutches it to his chest, his finger is still whole and in its joint though it hurts fiercely. He gasps in pain and clenches his hand into a painful fist before opening it again and wiggling his fingers. They're okay, his finger is okay.

The slam of the door startles him and his quick movement into a ready crouch jolts the tears free from his eyes and sends them running down his cheeks.

Zoro is gone and he's alone in the galley surrounded by destruction and damage. But… but his hands are okay, though they're trembling with fear. He came so close to losing something so important, so very close. He lets himself drop to the floor and holds his hands at his heart. He's never seen Zoro look at any of them like that, never.


	5. Chapter 5

"How did you injure your finger again?" Chopper asks as he examines the flexing of Sanji's hand and his injured finger.

He should say that Zoro did it, he should tell Chopper that he lied to protect Zoro and escaped the marines, he should say that Zoro completely lost it and tried to hurt him in the most personal way possible. But... he can't. Some part of him is for some reason ashamed of what happened and no matter how hard he tries he can't put his finger on just what it is that he's ashamed of exactly.

"I just tripped and bent it awkwardly, it went the whole way back, hurt like a bitch. Normally I wouldn't come for something like this but..." He trails off as he lies through his teeth. He's starting to get a little disturbed by how easy it's becoming to lie actually.

"Your hands are different, of course." Chopper nods and presses around the tender joint to examine for any ripping or tearing of the cartilage or tendons, Sanji winces but lets the little doctor proceed.

Sanji thinks some more, rationally he knows that he's not ashamed of being hurt by Zoro; the two of them hurt each other all the time and both of them have had to go to Chopper before. And he knows he was right to protect Zoro, despite the marimo's hurt pride, after all Chopper was the one who told him how vulnerable Zoro was. He could tell Chopper couldn't he? The doctor would surely understand…

"I'll give you some ibuprofen to take the swelling down and you should ice it if it hurts, other than that you're fine." Chopper concludes and hops off of his doctor's stool and opens his locked medicine cabinet.

Sanji opens his mouth, if it's so simple he should tell Chopper. Perhaps the doctor could talk some sense into Zoro. He remembers Zoro's callous uncaring gaze as with a look he promised, not threatened, to break Sanji and something about it freezes his tongue.

"Thanks Chopper." He mumbles instead and takes the drugs handed to him.

He comes back out onto the deck and turns to head inside to make an early dinner, not many people got to eat much of their lunch after all. He pauses when he sees Zoro's shadow on the glass of the lookout, not that he happened to just see him in fairness, he had actively looked around. He debates going inside to talk to Zoro but as he doesn't feel like being beaten to death with a 15kg plate he thinks he'll leave it until the swordsman calms down.

He squirrels himself away in the kitchen and shuts the door behind him, after a moment he goes back and locks it as well. He heads to the sink and pours himself a glass of water. He hesitates with the glass halfway to his mouth and the pills in the back of his throat, even water makes him think of Zoro, makes him think of Zoro's first relearned word. He shakes the thought out of his head and drinks.

He finishes the glass and places it in the sink. Leaning against the workbench he turns his hand over and flexes his fingers, part of him is paranoid that they're going to seize up and stop working after Zoro's abuse. He scowls to himself, he really should be furious at Zoro for this but bizarrely he doesn't feel angry at all, which makes no sense. Usually he's so careful about his hands, he's too paranoid about hurting his most precious tools and yet... He feels nothing.

"Fucking bastard marimo!" He says loudly to himself, vaguely hoping to instil some feeling about it, yet nothing comes.

His old man always used to accuse him of being emotionally retarded, not that the old fart was any better at all. "Think about it" was what Zeff used to order him.

Fine, he'll play that game.

Why might be not be angry about being hurt by Zoro when usually it would make him murderous? Uh... Because he's lost his mind? Well, that was increasingly likely of late but perhaps he shouldn't leap to that. Okay then because... He wanted Zoro to hurt him? No, not true but it felt closer. Because... He deserved it?

Something inside of him says "bingo"

But fuck, no, that couldn't be right! If anything Zoro owes him! He's the one teaching the ass to talk again, he's the one translating for him and hell he'd just saved Zoro's life! The very worst he might have done is dented Zoro's pride by poorly phrasing his argument, "weak" was perhaps a word that he should have avoided. But he may as well call a spade a spade, until Zoro was better again he was weaker, the idiot was just too dumb to know it. The moss brained moron probably thought that even unarmed and injured he could have taken on those marines, a high boast for someone who barely more than a week ago got shoved off of a cliff and brained by a rock all thanks to some nobody marine newbie getting a lucky shove in. So like hell was Sanji gonna just let Zoro waltz off into full combat, fuck that.

He nods to himself and heads to the fridge, that's that then. He pulls out a haunch of mutton and places it on his chopping board, he's going to make a gorgeous mutton meat stew. But… if he's so right then why does he not feel angry? Shit, he hadn't actually addressed that. Well, maybe he was just confused because of his new feelings for Zoro, perhaps he feels bad for trying to get off to Zoro when the other man has no clue and is hurt. Zoro would probably flip out if he found out, especially as he seems to think that Sanji thinks of him like he does the ladies now, which for the record he does not. Comparing Zoro to his goddesses is just wrong.

Whatever, Zoro can just… deal with it.

Cooking takes considerably longer when you're doing it alone, he's barely had Zoro helping him for any amount of time and yet suddenly the time seems to drag and for the first time in quite a while feels a little lonely in the kitchen all on his own. Usually he'd relish the time inside away from noisy nakama and… and malicious moss headed bastards. Yet here he is wishing it wasn't so. Well, when Zoro calms down he'll have company again.

He plates up the stew which, if he does say so himself, smells divine. He puts it into shallow bowls with wide rims, usually the kind that he might use for pasta, but it works well with the rustic bread that he's made with it. His nakama can butter slices of the bread and rest them on the edges of their bowls. He takes the lid off of the butter dish and sets it in the middle of the table with mountains of thick fresh sliced bread on it, still warm from the oven. Glasses of water go out for everyone and cutlery is arranged, napkins are set out and when everything is perfect he sticks his head outside of the door and announces that dinner is ready. The crew dash inside, they all know better than to wait with Luffy around. He knows that his ladies do appreciate his art, but they just don't have time to sit and stare with their human black hole of a captain.

"It looks wonderful cook-san." Robin smiles at him as she butters her bread and, with a disembodied hand, yanks Luffy's fingers backwards when he tries to steal her bread.

Watching Luffy's rubber fingers bend beyond the point that they should break repulses him and makes his skin crawl. His mind immediately flicks to Zoro who, he notices, is not at the table. He ducks out of the kitchen and heads outside.

"Zoro!" He calls, deciding against any unpleasantries with his calling – Zoro is already mad at him after all. He searches across the Sunny but sees no sight of Zoro, not until he looks up at the crow's nest, where Zoro's training room sits. A shadow on the glass tells him all he needs to know that Zoro is up there.

Sanji stands at the base of the mast with some trepidation. He wants to go up and get Zoro's dumb ass to the dinner table but something sticks his feet to the grass beneath him. He looks up the wooden beam and feels a sensation almost like vertigo as he takes it in. Why's he feeling like this? Zoro wouldn't actually hurt him if he disturbed him, they were nakama after all.

But… Zoro had hurt him, and given him a look that full well promised that he would actually break his finger if he… if he what? What had he actually done that made Zoro so furious to treat him like that? He holds his hand up and nervously flexes his fingers, as if they might have stopped working since he did it just five minutes ago. So he called Zoro weak, well, he wasn't likely to do that in the process of calling him to dinner. And… and they are nakama aren't they? Zoro wouldn't hurt him, not really. With that thought repeating in his head like a mantra he climbs the mast, putting one hand over the other again and again. But as he's just a few paces from the top his treacherous brain threads a thought through his mind.

Are you nakama though?

It's a ridiculous thought. Preposterous. Of course they were nakama. Stupid.

His hand hesitates below the hatch, he should push it open and climb in but… no no, this is stupid. He's not going to climb down over some silly thought like that. He shoves the hatch open and climbs inside. Zoro is standing near the middle of the room with his back to Sanji, he's tossing a 15kg plate up and down in the air and catching it with his fingertips. It looks like a circus trick but Sanji can tell that it's something to do with training Zoro's grip strength.

"Hey, I called for dinner. Luffy will be eating yours at this rate." He says in a neutral tone.

Zoro, predictably says nothing and keeps his back to him as he tosses the plate over and over again in the air. Sanji tracks it with his eyes until they wander to the dull steel shine in Zoro's hair. Something in his gut squirms with a sick cold feel and Sanji's resolve hardens.

"You need to eat, I don't care if I bruised your ego so just eat." He orders, stepping closer to Zoro.

His hand barely grazes the back of Zoro's arm before the swordsman spins and swings his arm in Sanji's direction. With heightened senses Sanji snaps his arm back in time to be well out of Zoro's reach by the time the plate in Zoro's hand cuts through the air. He takes the message and backs up, he doesn't know if Zoro is going to try to fight him but he's not going to fight, not when Zoro is hurt.

Zoro regards him with cold, emotionless, eyes. The hairs on the back of Sanji's neck all stand up on end and he wonders if this is how marines feel when they see the famous demon hunter Zoro. Sanji becomes sweepingly aware that he's in Zoro's territory right here, he's surrounded by barbells, weight plates, training swords and god knows what else. Sanji knows first-hand just how dangerous a cook can be in their element, if someone cornered him in a kitchen and he really had to fight his way out he could kill someone a million times over with everything in it. Why would that be any different for Zoro? He is suddenly not feeling so secure. That treasonous section of his brain repeats the same question again, are he and Zoro really nakama? Zoro is certainly his, but… is he Zoro's? Would Zoro ever have threatened Luffy's hat his with his swords, or threatened to skewer Nami's maps, would he ever threaten to sink the Sunny, no matter how angry he was? No, because those things were important to his nakama, and yet… Zoro had threatened to break his fingers. So, the question remains, are they nakama?

"Zoro?" He asks in a weak voice, but Zoro's cold gaze is unrelenting and unchanging.

"Look, I know you're angry at me, and maybe I was a jerk about it but… you still need to have dinner. So come on, let's go." He offers and steps towards the hatch as a gesture, but Zoro doesn't move and continues to stare at him with menace.

Sanji stands quietly for a second or two, pinned in place by that stare. Zoro's expression doesn't change and Sanji suddenly feels the need to fill the oppressive silence with words again.

"Well, say something then or come with me, don't just stand there glaring at me." He insists but Zoro neither moves nor speaks, simply stares with that unfeeling look. Sanji finds himself increasingly glad that Chopper hid Zoro's swords as soon as he woke up. An unarmed Zoro is still dangerous, especially in this place, but slightly less lethal than an armed one. Maybe.

A horrible thought steals over Sanji's mind and he voices it immediately.

"You… you can still talk can't you? You're… refusing to talk to me because you're angry, not because you can't, right?" He asks wide eyed, Zoro however remains obstinately silent, his expression unchanged as if Sanji had said nothing. The terrible thought continues.

"You can still understand me can't you?" He asks urgently.

"Zoro, say something!" Sanji says panicking, he reaches for Zoro but it seems that Sanji penetrates some invisible bubble around Zoro because the moment that his hand crosses some line Zoro strikes as quickly as a cobra and snatches Sanji's wrist.

"Oi! Let me go!" Sanji snaps, pulling backwards but Zoro's grip is unrelenting. Sanji's eyes flick to the weight plate in Zoro's other hand and he remembers how Zoro was just training his grip before. He's seen the swordsman hang onto tonnes of weight as he swings it around and he comes to the creeping realisation that there's no way he can get out of Zoro's grip just by pulling back on it. Unless he fights Zoro he can't get away.

"Stop it!" He repeats, hoping that the swordsman will listen to him.

Zoro's grip tightens around his wrist bringing the grip firmly into the territory of "painful", he hisses and pulls back but Zoro clearly has no intention of letting him go.

"Hey stop it! Zoro, do you even understand me?!" He shouts pulling at his arm and fighting every instinct to twist and plant one foot into the crook of Zoro's elbow and break the hold. He could but what if Zoro didn't let go and cracked his head and died?! No, he won't fight, he can't! Zoro's eyes flicker from Sanji's, following his nervous look at Zoro's elbow and back to him.

"I'm not going to fight you, just let me go!" Sanji yells, struggling in Zoro's grip and trying to use his other hand to peel Zoro's fingers off but the swordsman's hands are so much stronger than his own.

Zoro's gaze turns more hostile and his grip becomes punishingly tight. It's eye wateringly painful and Sanji can feel the blood getting cut off from his fingers.

"Please, stop!" He gasps out pleadingly as Zoro's grip continues to tighten and Sanji feels the bones in his wrist crunch together agonisingly. He drops to his knees as he claws at Zoro's hand with his free hand. He shudders in pain which is both mental and physical, what if he can never use his hand after this? He... He has another and it's not worth Zoro's life.

A sob tumbles from his lips and suddenly with a violent throw the grip around his wrist is released, sending him flying across the floor. He's fleeing before he can even think about it, hurling himself out of the trap door without even bothering with the steps. He plunges to the grass deck below, it must be at least forty feet but his legs can take the impact. The shock of it reverberates up his legs; he ignores it though and sprints into the kitchen.

He shoulders the door open and dashes towards the fridge clutching at his injured wrist. He spins on his toes and kicks the freezer door open with his other foot. He jams his hand in the freezer and scrambles with his other to scrape up ice cubes and press them against his throbbing, abused wrist. He's shaking with fear as he drops to the ground and presses the ice to himself.

"Sanji! What happened?!" Nami gasps, leaning over the counter to look at him as the rest of his nakama crowd around him.

"Let me see, Sanji!" Chopper says, shoving his way to the front and scampering to Sanji. The little doctor takes Sanji's damaged wrist from his good hand and Sanji, still crying, lets him.

Chopper feels the wrist carefully, pressing this way and that regardless of Sanji's whimpers of pain. When the doctor releases Sanji's wrist slightly the big red hand mark that Zoro has gifted him stands in stark contrast to Sanji's pale flesh.

"Zoro did that?" Nami gasps, half question, half horrified statement.

"Why would Zoro do such a thing?" Brook utters in horror.

"Why indeed." Robin remarks in a sinister tone.

"Do you think that Zoro doesn't know who Sanji was? Sanji did he seem confused or disoriented?" Chopper asks him with wide eyed panic. Sanji shakes his head, Zoro was clear and lucid. He was also sinister as fuck but he wasn't confused.

"Yeah, besides, if you wanted to hurt Sanji the most without killing him you would go after his hands. Just like you'd go after Brook's afro or Luffy's hat. He knew who he was." Usopp says slowly, a strange expression stealing over his face.

"Will he be okay?" Luffy asks, his face serious and dark as he crouches down by Chopper who is pressing the ice back against Sanji's wrist.

"Nothing is broken, but it's a very bad sprain. I'm going to need to put this in a sling for you Sanji." Chopper says in his doctor voice and gently pats Sanji on the arm in an effort to be reassuring. At least it's not fractured, that could have put him out of cooking for weeks if not months. Sanji sniffs and nods in response and counts his lucky stars, what would Zeff say if he could see him now?

"I'll kick his ass!" Luffy snarls, leaping up from the floor.

"Hold it." Usopp says seriously, grabbing Luffy by the shoulder.

"Why?! Zoro hurt Sanji!" Luffy shouts furiously.

"Don't, please." Sanji pleads quietly, but the whole room falls silent at it.

"Zoro wouldn't hurt his nakama for no reason, Zoro doesn't do that. So what did you do Sanji?" Usopp asks, his voice fierce and dangerous in a way that Sanji has previously only heard coming from behind the sogeking mask.

"What are you talking about?! Zoro nearly broke Sanji's wrist, how is that Sanji's fault?" Nami snaps, stepping in to defend him like the angel that she is.

"And your finger this morning, was that Zoro too?" Chopper asks him suddenly. Sanji shifts uncomfortably and flexes his fingers. His non answer is apparently enough for his nakama though and there's a wide eyed look of horror across them all.

"I'm kicking his ass." Luffy restates, standing up and snapping his fist closed. Shockingly though Usopp steps into Luffy's way and actively blocks his path, where is such courage coming from within their cowardly sharpshooter?

"Don't you think Sanji would be doing that himself if he didn't think he deserved it? He's stronger than everyone but you and Zoro. And yet he's sitting there telling you not to do anything back, he knows he did something wrong. Was it something you did or something you said, Sanji?" Usopp presses.

"I don't- it's not... He's just overreacting, he'll calm down." He says quietly, looking down at his wrist and the rapidly spreading hand shaped bruise. The mark of Zoro's hand.

"You sure about that little bro?" Franky asks sceptically.

He looks up and sees that his nakama are looking at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity, Luffy's furious anger seems to have subsided and he's giving him a penetrating look that Sanji can't quite meet. He draws his gaze back to his own injured wrist and moves the ice in his hand to his throbbing wrist bone.

"I'm going to go talk to Zoro, he's probably upset." Usopp sighs and turns towards the door.

"You're comforting Zoro, even when poor Sanji is hurt?!" Nami huffs.

"Even if you've decided that someone who used to be your nakama can't be anymore, it's not something that you can just switch off. Why do you think Sanji's still got a hand at all? Hurting Sanji is going to have hurt Zoro too." The sniper says flatly and leaves.

Luffy looks around the room and sighs dramatically while folding his arms.

"Man, this is all too much. I think I need more food to get over this." He says seriously.

"You JUST ate! And you ate all of Zoro and Sanji's food too!" Nami shouts, cracking their captain on the head with her righteous fist.

"I've never seen Usopp so serious!" Brook remarks with wonder.

"It's… before your time I suppose. I guess Usopp can relate to Zoro in this." Nami sighs, turning to the skeleton with a sad look.

Sanji winces in a way that has nothing to do with his wrist, is this situation really so similar to Usopp and Luffy's fight? Usopp left the crew, he said that they couldn't be nakama anymore. But he and Zoro aren't that bad are they? He looks at his wrist and wonders if someone who was supposed to be his nakama could really do this to him.

"Come on Sanji, let's get you fixed up." Chopper says gently and pulls him to his feet. The reindeer leads him off to the infirmary and sets about giving him painkillers, things to take the swelling away, rubbing ointment on his wrist and finally bandaging it supportively before putting it in a sling. With that all done the little doctor settles into his doctor's chair and regards Sanji from where he sits on the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chopper asks him softly, his big chocolate brown eyes imploring Sanji to talk.

"Not really, no." Sanji says, resisting the look and pulling a cigarette from his packet in his jacket. Chopper shoots him the dirtiest look and Sanji places the lighter back in his pocket and keeps the unlit cigarette between his lips.

"I don't need to justify something that I'd do again given the opportunity, I don't regret what I did or what I said. So what's the point in talking about it? If Zoro needs to hate me for that then that's what he has to do, it's his problem not mine." He continues, jutting his chin defiantly.

"So why do you look like you feel guilty about it?" The doctor asks shrewdly.

"I could perhaps of phrased what I said a little better, I might have been a bit of a jerk about it." He admits, chewing on the end of his cigarette uncomfortably.

"And yet that doesn't usually make you feel bad at all." Chopper says bluntly.

"Oi, what are you trying to say, emergency rations?" Sanji snaps angrily. Chopper merely raises his eyebrows at Sanji and gives him a look that suggests he's a little slow in the head. Sanji winds his mind over that last sentence. Ah, yes, well that might be considered tactless too.

"It seems an odd time for something like that to start bothering you, I would suggest that you might feel guilty about something else." Chopper says flatly. Sanji shakes his head and slouches against the wall, no way does he feel guilty at all, Chopper's wrong. He's got nothing to feel guilty about. Nope.

"I've also got another patient to consider here Sanji, you're the only one that Zoro can talk to for some reason." Chopper states seriously.

"Well he's not talking to me now. He was refusing to earlier and when I tried to reason with him he did this to me!" Sanji argues back, gesturing to his arm in the sling.

"Right. But… if Zoro has no one to talk to his ability to speak may start to atrophy, he could go back to being completely mute again. He's only just started relearning that skill and it might be all too easy to lose that." The doctor explains.

"Well, I don't want that to happen. But I'm not going anywhere near him if he's going to be like this. Don't get me wrong, I want to help and if he decides to swallow his stupid pride and get over it then I'll happily help him again. I want him to get better Chopper, I do. Maybe you should talk to Zoro yourself about it, your bigger form has a deeper voice, he should be able to understand you then, if not Franky or Brook will probably willingly translate for you." He sighs, hopping off of the bed and heading for the door. As soon as he's over the threshold he lights up a smoke and walks off.

"Oi, no cooking for the next two days at least Sanji, I mean it!" Chopper shouts after him. Sanji would pretend not to hear if he didn't know full well that the little doctor was liable to actually chase him down until he agreed to that. He waves in agreement to the doctor and heads up out.

When he arrives on deck he sees that Zoro is out of the crow's nest and is instead sitting on the railing of the Sunny with Usopp by his side, he can't see Zoro's face from the angle that he's at but he can see that Usopp has a rather sombre expression on. Usopp has clearly made up his mind about who's at fault here and is giving all his sympathy to Zoro. Well, a fat lot of good it'd do Zoro. The swordsman couldn't understand Usopp's higher voice and he couldn't talk to him either.

No, Zoro would calm down given time and space and he'd realise that he has no one else to talk to besides Sanji. Chopper would get that made clear to the moss ball and then Zoro would have to swallow his pride and come back to him, that was all there was to it. He just felt bad about hurting Zoro's feelings was all. He'd just become too attuned to the marimo of late and he was almost feeling Zoro's feelings as his own, his rather tactless way of saying the truth had hurt the marimo, that was the only reason he felt strange. That was it. Really.

He decides to leave Zoro well enough alone though and peers through the kitchen window to see Franky and Robin washing up, Robin shoots him a warning look through the porthole and Sanji holds up his free hand in surrender and instead walks off down to the aquarium. His entrance interrupts Brook's piano playing for a moment but the skeleton seems to adjust and continue playing, it's a slightly sad melody so it melds well with Sanji's self-pitying state.

Sanji slides down on one of the padded benches by the aquarium glass and watches the smoke from his cigarette float up in the dark air.

"Nami told me about Usopp leaving the crew before, his fight with Luffy. I didn't know just how much resolve our young sniper had in him already." Brook says softly.

"It was a brutal time, we don't like to talk about it. That fight ripped us apart, we nearly didn't survive as a crew." Sanji says bitterly, he hates remembering the whole thing to be honest.

"And this? Will this be like that?" Brook asks him as he stops playing.

"This is different, it's just a really bad fight is all." He says uncomfortably. The adrenaline from Zoro's attack must be messing with his head because he feels really on edge right now.

Brook stays silent for a while before he starts playing again, Sanji doesn't know if he's playing a tune as the notes are so slow or if the pianist is just idly making music up.

"I've… existed for longer than most pirates ever hope to live. I would say alive but, I'm dead. I'm much older than all of you." He says gently as he plays.

"I know that." Sanji says, frowning at the ceiling and not quite getting Brook's point.

"I know you know, but you don't understand. I don't know if I can even die, I don't die if I fall in the sea, my power doesn't stop working then. If I get dismembered do I die? I can't see any reason why I would, and I can heal to an extent. For all I know I'll be like this forever, a living skeleton. If I'm lucky I get to watch my nakama grow old and die one by one, so I hate to see you all waste the time that you have, time that I know is finite." Brook says seriously.

"You call that lucky?" Sanji laughs hollowly.

"Yes, if I'm unlucky I get to watch my nakama die horribly again, possibly all at the same time again. I don't know which will happen, but I hope you all live full lives." Brook says in a voice that has an edge to it and Sanji suspects that he may have been tactless again.

"Zoro was lucky to survive that fall, few men would I think. I honestly didn't think he would ever wake up, I thought his body would just give out. But again, he surprises us." The skeleton hums thoughtfully. Sanji's eyes widen, no one had ever said about the possibility of Zoro not waking up when he was unconscious. Perhaps they were all too superstitious and thought that speaking it might make it so, but here Brook is confessing that he didn't think Zoro would make it. Sanji couldn't even bear thinking it at the time, and it required a lot of mental gymnastics to avoid doing so.

"You say that you know what I mean, and yet here you are wasting the short amount of life you both have left arguing." Brook says pointedly, turning his empty eye sockets in Sanji's direction. Despite not really being able to see he has a feeling that Brook is glaring at him, as if he was a stupid child too dumb to learn a lesson.

"I did this to make sure Zoro has more life to live, if he needs to spend it hating me because of it then… then that's what he has to do. I'm not just making him hate me for no reason, give me a little credit." He argues back. Why is everyone lecturing him? Why is everyone so convinced that he's the one at fault here? He saved Zoro's goddamn life!

"I think you both need to give each other a little more credit." Brook mutters and stands up from the piano stool to leave the room.

Zoro avoids him all of the rest of the day and to be honest Sanji isn't exactly seeking his company out either. But, there's only so much avoiding one can do on a ship with another man when you share a bunkroom. Usually Zoro is in bed before him, as the man's second favourite love after training and closely followed by drinking is sleep. However, tonight Sanji has no washing to do as his wrist is still in its sling so he's in his bunk before Zoro is.

The swordsman acts like he just plain doesn't see him though and walks straight past Sanji to his own hammock and throws himself in it face down with a small satisfied groan. He shuffles under his blanket for a moment and buries his face in his pillow and is snoring softly within under a minute, it's inhuman. Sanji wishes that he could get to sleep so easily, he's been in his bed for half an hour with his mind whirring over everything, the throb in his finger and hand doesn't help either. He cranes his neck and sees the dull sheen of metal in the back of Zoro's head but can't suppress the clench of anxiety the sight of it brings to his stomach.

It feels like he lies there forever, drifting in and out of fitful naps before he eventually decides to give up and get out of his hammock. Maybe Brook was right, maybe he needs to apologise and explain himself a little better. Perhaps he was… wrong?

He lands lightly on his bare feet and tiptoes over to Zoro's bunk. He crouches down and gently pokes at the man's hammock. Zoro's dark eyes open, looking disorientated for a moment by dreams dissolving but shortly sharpen into a heated glare.

"Can we talk, please?" He whispers hopefully. Zoro glares at him for a few moments, as if sizing him and his intentions up at the same time. Evidently Zoro finds something satisfying in Sanji's face and climbs out of his bed and proceeds to follow Sanji up onto the quiet of the deck.

Sanji shuffles awkwardly without saying anything for a while, long enough in fact for Zoro to growl under his breath and turn to go back below deck.

"No!" He hisses, grabbing the back of Zoro's shirt with both hands. He pulls the other man back and holds him there, his fingers clenching in the man's white shirt.

"Sorry if I pissed you off, I was just… trying to protect you. You're still injured and I couldn't let you get into a fight. But I shouldn't have been so underhanded about it, maybe… maybe I should have talked to you rather than just assuming you wouldn't listen." He says. He's glad that Zoro isn't looking at him, he suspects that it's a million times easier to confess this to the back of Zoro's shirt when he's staring at the space between the swordsman's shoulder blades than when looking into those dark eyes that sometimes make Sanji feel like he's completely naked in front of the other man, and not in the fun kind of way.

Zoro pulls free of his grasp though and turns to face him. Sanji manages to look everywhere but Zoro until Zoro huffs with irritation and plonks his palm on the top of Sanji's head, forcing his face in his direction. Sanji would continue letting his eyes wander everywhere else but Zoro if he didn't think that Zoro wouldn't up the ante to poking him in the eye or something. He brings his gaze to Zoro and sees that the other man looks sceptical, as if he doesn't quite believe that Sanji's being sincere, so he keeps talking.

"I don't know, everything's so different since… since then. We actually kind of… listen to each other. But I'm just so used to you ignoring me that maybe I didn't think there was any point in talking to you." He says, realising that each word is true as it spills from his lips.

Zoro sighs and paces back and forth for a moment or two before groaning and stopping back and forth in front of Sanji. He looks a lot less hostile but still pretty frustrated. Zoro holds out his hand, a peace offering. Sanji beams and takes it but Zoro yanks him in and points a threatening finger so close to Sanji's face that he goes cross eyed.

"I'm not gonna promise that I won't do it again. But… I'll at least talk to you before making that kind of decision. That's the best I can promise." He concedes.

Zoro narrows his eyes at him and after a time lets out a frustrated huff that telegraphs perfectly that the other man isn't happy but is well aware that he's not going to get any further promises for now.

"You had me worried marimo, I thought you were gonna kill me at one point." He laughs in relief and leans in, letting his forehead bump against Zoro's. The swordsman allows a sinister chuckle to drift from his lips as if to suggest that he thinks he might have considered it to.

"You're one creepy bastard you know." Sanji grins back, enjoying the challenge. Zoro's predatory grin fires a slow heat in Sanji's belly and he remembers his time in the shower and Usopp's teasing all too well. He lets his hand slide up into Zoro's hair and tilts his mouth towards Zoro's no time like the present.

His hand slides deeper into Zoro's warm mossy hair until suddenly hot slick heat coats his fingers. Sanji feels hot liquid running down his fingers and he knows without looking that it's blood. Under his fingers Zoro's skull becomes jagged and shattered and, his hand advancing of its own accord, he feels a damp meat like texture under his fingertips.

Zoro keels forward and Sanji only just dodges out of the way, his bloodied hand dropping to his side. The back of Zoro's head is caved in. Blood and skull fragments litter the back of Zoro's shirt and huge chunks of Zoro's brain are just gone with the rest littering the sand under his feet.

Sanji realises at once that the sand is out of place, they were supposed to be on the Sunny. But this realisation doesn't help him as the blood covered sand gains the texture of quicksand and starts sucking him in. His knees slip below the sand and then before he knows it he's in it to his hips. Zoro's blood is lapping against his skin, drawing him into the sand and drowning him. At his side Zoro, or what remains of him at least, stares blankly into the distance past Sanji's rapidly sinking head. Sanji thrashes against it but it makes it worse, he only sinks faster. He tilts his head back and gasps for air as the sand drags him to his death.

"Sanji!" Usopp's voice hissing in his ear wakes him gasping and sweat drenched from his nightmare. The sharpshooter has got out of the hammock below him and stood by his side to wake him.

Sanji sucks in deep ragged gasps of air and shakes in terror, not just for his fear of his own death, but the sight of Zoro dead on the beach. Or the deck. The dream makes less sense now that he's awake but the terror lingers.

He stumbles gracelessly from his hammock, his bound arm hindering his dismount. He stumbles as quietly as possible towards the sleeping swordsman who is unusually silent. His fear soaked brain can't help but be terrified that Zoro might be dead, like in his dream. But as he crouches, shaking, by Zoro's form he sees the matte shine of metal through Zoro's hair in the dim midnight light, he sees the movement of Zoro's soft slumbering breaths in his back. Zoro is alive.

Zoro is alive, but only because of what Sanji has done. If he'd not taken the ship away from those marines then he would not be waking up from a nightmare where Zoro is dead, he'd be living it. He stands up, his resolve hard, Zoro has to live, he won't allow any other possibility regardless of what price Zoro makes him pay. He tightens his aching hand and regrets nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sanji's internal body clock stirs him into wakefulness, he knows it's time for him to start cooking breakfast for the crew as surely as he knows his own name. He rolls out of his hammock with practiced ease and lands on the floor with bare feet, however smooth his landing is though it jolts his wrist. The pain in such a personal area wakes him fully like a bucket of ice water in the face. He had almost forgotten about his injury. One handed he slides into his black slacks and buttons them with a little difficulty, after that he shimmies into a t-shirt rather than go through the hassle of buttoning a shirt one handed.

He knows he's not supposed to be up and cooking but he doesn't want to sleep right now, his dreams are anxious and unpleasant. In all honesty he'd do anything to not have another dream where he ends up covered in Zoro's blood. He had another dream in the night where he and Zoro were cooking and everything was as it was a few days ago, until suddenly Zoro dropped to the floor in a heap. When Sanji turned him over there was blood pouring like a river from the back of Zoro's head. When he woke up in a cold sweat he actually had to check that the hot dampness coating his skin was his own terrified sweat and not Zoro's hot sticky blood. No, he'd rather be awake.

Hoping to leave his nightmare behind he comes up onto the deck and goes into his kitchen but finds it already occupied by Robin, she looks up from where she stands at the open fridge and gives him a smile.

"I think you'll find that you're off cooking duty at the moment cook-san, no matter how sneakily you try to get in here." Robin says knowingly.

"I can't help it, I always wake up now to cook, I couldn't sleep if I tried my flower." He sighs and joins her at the fridge.

"All the same, no cooking for you. Not until your wrist is better at least." The archaeologist says firmly. Sanji glances down at his wrist and pulls the supportive bandages back. The bruise that Zoro gifted him with has turned a nasty purple colour and spans quite a distance. His wrist is sore and stiff, but not as bad as it was the other day.

"I'll be cooking this morning, but… I suppose if you'd like to tell me what you had planned then that would be lovely." Robin adds with a hopeful note to her voice.

"Of course my angel!" He smiles happily.

"I'd planned for a full English breakfast, Luffy will certainly be happy with all of the meat." He exclaims, pulling the ingredients out of the fridge. He has those lovely herbed sausages that they picked up on the island before last that he'd gently thawed from the ship's freezer to preserve their texture, as well as some lovely smoked bacon that he knew from previous batches crisped just so. He also takes down a few dozen eggs from their home in the little egg rack in the cupboard, he doesn't particularly like buying eggs and he's tried to talk Nami into letting them buy a few chickens for the ship, they'll give them fresh eggs regularly and if worst comes to worst they can always eat the chickens themselves.

He darts to the pantry next and removes freshly baked bread that he made just the other day, a good thing too as with his wrist the way it is he's unlikely to be kneading dough to make more any time soon. He sets that on the side for toast and removes some lovely flat mushrooms from their dark hiding place within the cupboard, he needs to use them this morning because they're just on the cusp of going shrivelled, indeed tomorrow they'll be far less appetising and he'd need to hide that in some kind of sauce. Not that he doesn't enjoy being resourceful with his food to stop anything perishing but he'd rather use his ingredients at their best if he can. By the time he's gathered the last of the resources for breakfast the counter is positively overflowing and Robin is watching him with barely hidden mirth in her eyes.

"I always thought that you were at your best when you're like this Sanji. You see it with the rest of the crew too, Nami at the helm of the ship in a storm or Zoro in his trance like state of training, but you get like this every day. Every time you cook you seem to become very… zen." She says softly with a trace of admiration in her voice.

Sanji's face flushes at such a genuine compliment, something less explicit might have caused him to flutter and ask Robin if she was falling for him but that… it's almost too real.

"I- well… thank you Robin-chan." He stammers out, making Robin laugh daintily behind her hand.

"What first then, head chef?" the archaeologist smiles playfully.

"Always preparation first. I've got some nice breakfast tea to serve with this as well as some orange juice for those on our crew that avoid tea, this gets busy quite quickly as a meal so it's best to get that out of the way first." He says knowledgeably.

"Okay then." Robin nods and pulls the large teapot out of the cupboard along with the nice loose leaf breakfast tea. Being an avid tea and coffee drinker Robin knows where all of those supplies are by heart, she happily fills the tea ball with the leaves and pops it without the water into the teapot and places it on the table. Disembodied hands fetch glasses from one another and set them out onto the table along with the proper cutlery. Sanji watches with a smile and thinks that Robin could well have missed a calling here. What Zeff and the other cooks back at the Baratie would have given for the ability to have so many hands at their call.

As she's doing so he pulls a knife free and settles the onion and mushrooms on the chopping board, it's only when habit prompts him to start chopping that his wrist twinges painfully and makes him stop.

"Sanji." Robin says in a warning tone and bumps him aside with her hip, taking the knife from his hand.

"Sorry, habit I guess." He apologises quickly.

"Tell me what to do." She says simply and looks at him from her place at the chopping board.

Sanji finds himself struck with a sudden chord of longing, not for Robin though. Some part inside of him fiercely wishes that Robin was Zoro instead, and ain't that fucked up? He's always longed for more of Robin's attention but right now with her cooking with him he wishes that Zoro was here instead, cooking silently at his side, miming or stitching together words to question him or mock him. He longs for Zoro to be here and not trying to snap his bones under a fierce grip but instead to be working with him. But that's not going to happen now, he had to sacrifice that to keep Zoro safe and alive, but it doesn't mean he doesn't still want it.

"Ah, if you could take the ends of the stalks of the mushrooms off that would be wonderful, and finely chop the onion. I'll set the sausages out on the grill." He says quietly and grabs the sausages with his good hand. He sets them out onto the grill and turns the grill to the right temperature to slowly cook them all the way through without burning their outside. With his good hand he pricks their skin to allow the fat to drain out as he cuts the sausages from one another.

"I understand Zoro was a good assistant in the kitchen." Robin remarks conversationally as she chops the mushrooms.

"Yeah, yeah he was." He agrees slightly sadly, that won't be happening again. He holds in the sad sigh that he can feel building in his chest and instead slides the sausages under the grill.

"I had been thinking that it was nice, how even out of terrible things like Zoro's injury there are still good things to come out of it. Your growing friendship was lovely to see and then… somehow it all went wrong." Robin remarks. It's not a question, not really, but the implication that he should somehow provide some explanation is there all the same. He doesn't want to talk about it though, so instead he fetches the potatoes for the hash browns from the fridge and takes a large mixing bowl from the cupboard.

"Usopp seems to think that the situation is like his fight with Luffy. That somehow you did something to warrant your treatment, I have to concede that it would explain your not fighting back, but I can't imagine that you'd do something so terrible to make him want to hurt you like that." The archaeologist continues smoothly.

"Zoro's my nakama, all I want to do is to keep him safe, I don't want to hurt him but I'd rather he was alive and upset than happy and dead. That onion looks good Robin, if you could put it in here please." Sanji says, blending together his answer and his request in the hopes she'll drop the subject. Robin slides the chopped onion into the bowl and takes the grater from Sanji as he hands it to her.

"Why would you have to make that choice?" she asks cleverly. Oh, Robin always was so clever wasn't she? Of course she'd notice.

"I'd rather not talk about it. It can't be undone and it's already past so really there's no point. It's fine, really. Could you grate these cold potatoes into that bowl for the hash browns please? I'll go get the salt and pepper." He says and walks off to get them.

"You don't need to talk to me about this if you don't want to Sanji, but you should at least talk to Zoro. I'd hate to think of this fight getting worse when you could just talk it out." She says in a carefully neutral tone.

"Last time I tried to talk this out with Zoro he nearly broke my wrist, so I'd rather not my dearest. Could you mix these together please?" He asks as he adds the coarse sea salt and crushed black pepper into the hash brown mix.

He takes the eggs and with his left hand breaks them easily and one handed into a clean bowl, he also breaks two into Robin's hash brown bowl as she mixes. He breaks egg after egg neatly into the bowl and then adds a few glugs of milk into the bowl, it makes the eggs a little creamier and makes the eggs stretch a little farther too. He picks the whisk up with his left hand, it's odd for him to whisk with his non dominant hand like this but he doesn't have a choice.

"So, you're just going to leave it like this forever?" Robin questions him in surprise.

"No, Zoro will get lonely without talking to anyone sooner or later. He'll calm down and come back, I'll apologise for hurting his feelings and we can go back to teaching him to talk again." He answers with a shrug.

"You think things will just go back to how they were? Zoro wouldn't be so brutal with you over something small enough to shrug off like that, for Zoro to hurt you the way he did suggests anger and hurt that he will be unlikely to simply let go of. I'm not sure he will come back." Robin says seriously, turning him to face her with her disembodied hands.

"What choice does he have?" Sanji answers, shrugging out of her touch and putting a pan on the hob along with two frying pans.

"He's a resourceful man Sanji, I don't think you should forget that." Robin warns him. Sanji looks at his own injured wrist and knows full well just how "resourceful" Zoro can be.

"I couldn't if I tried Robin." He replies. Robin seems to let the subject drop then and their conversation from then on is perfectly pleasant and consisting mostly of directions of what to do. He talks her through shaping and frying the hash brown patties and she even holds the pan still with a hand attached to the work surface so he can scramble the eggs himself. Robin fries the mushrooms and, with a little direction, manages to get the bacon to crisp lightly. He's impressed that at the same time she's able to cut bread and put it into the toaster without even moving, she passes butter to the table and cold juice too. Sanji's always been happy with his multi tasking abilities in the kitchen, even now he's frying the tomatoes, watching the beans cook and scrambling eggs all at once but to be able to just have more hands like that… well, perhaps he's a little envious of Robin's power.

"They would have loved you at the Baratie Robin, being able to do so much at once." He smiles at her.

"Ah, cooking doesn't hold much interest for me unfortunately. I do it but it doesn't make me light up like it does you. Anyway, you would usually cook all of this by yourself, and you only have the one pair of hands." Robin beams back at him.

"With a lot of running around and practice though!" He laughs warmly. His pleasant mood is shattered though when he feels Zoro's presence as he enters the room. The swordsman is accompanied by several other of their male nakama, Luffy running about excitedly trying to steal food. His mood drops and his anxiety levels skyrocket. Zoro doesn't seem interested in maiming him though; in fact he's thoroughly ignoring him, sitting in his seat and listening to Brook talk about something or other.

For all his confident talk about Zoro changing his mind the swordsman seems pretty set on being cold towards Sanji, he won't even look at Sanji as he sets the swordsman's generous plate down before him. Sanji sets out milk for the now brewing tea just as the others take their places. He nervously sits in his seat opposite Zoro and finds himself acutely aware of the other man as he eats his food with the chaos that is the strawhats at breakfast time.

Franky is telling some joke a few seats down from Zoro, his attention on Brook and Chopper, it's some long winded and slightly off colour thing but the punch line draws a grin from Zoro. Even so, the swordsman seems… lonely somehow. While the others laugh along and remark on the joke, Usopp even begins his own joke in reply, Zoro is unable to join in with the conversation in any meaningful way. He's on the outside looking in and he looks the same way he did when he first woke up, he cares for his nakama but his condition stops him from really being with them. He doesn't want Zoro to be lonely like that, but if it means that Zoro will come back to him then he begrudgingly welcomes it.

At the end of a well received and quite pleasing breakfast Nami and Robin shoo him from the kitchen, he might have been permitted to help cook with one hand but he can't wash or dry with just one and they won't let him get his bandages wet. Zoro seems to have disappeared though, along with Chopper. Brook isn't on deck but from the faint strains of music he can guess that the musician is down in the aquarium as he often is.

He shrugs to himself and settles under the tree on deck with a cookbook that he'd been meaning to look over for a while. He finds himself so absorbed in it that several hours fly by without his noticing and it's only when Nami pops a sandwich at his side that he realises that lunchtime has come and gone. She lets his apologies wash off of her though and instead takes his hand gently in hers and feels his wrist, asking him how he's healing. In truth with a bit of rest some of the swelling has gone down, though the abused joint still feels quite stiff and sore.

He eats his sandwich alone and in silence, Luffy and Usopp are fishing over the back of the ship, the quiet hum of their conversation just about reaching Sanji's ears. He can hear Robin and Nami in the kitchen talking and laughing together along with the faint sound of running water that suggests to Sanji that they're washing up. Everyone else though seems to have vanished.

Muted music is still winding its way through the air though so, his curiosity getting the better of him, he gets up and follows. As he enters the corridor to the aquarium he can make out Franky's guitar playing along with Brook's piano, the two play together sometimes but not all that often as their music styles are quite different. Surprisingly they seem to be playing some sort of simple country type tune, in fact Sanji's sure that he's heard it before. He hums along with the next few notes and knows that he has, an old kids rhyme or something perhaps? It's a simple repeating tune so it's likely.

"It needs to be something that Zoro already knows the words to though, it's no good us teaching him the words, it needs to be from memory." Chopper says from inside the room. Sanji halts, what's Chopper doing in there? And if he's talking about Zoro like that… is the swordsman in there too?

Cautiously he peeks around the door frame and then ducks out of sight. Zoro is in there, sat at the piano stool next to Brook, his head resting on his folded arms on the top of the piano. Franky and Chopper were sitting on the bench off to the side. What's going on in there?

"It's okay Chopper, I've picked up the tune now. So this time Zoro just has to tap along with the beat?" Brook asks.

"Not with the beat, with the syllables of the lyrics. He's supposed to be training himself to tap along with the syllables of words." Chopper explains.

"Though in fairness with this song it's more or less the same Brook." Franky chips in.

"Okay, ready?" Brook asks, probably to Zoro as he gets no verbal reply. The musician begins with Franky playing along on his guitar. Now that he's listening for it he can hear a faint tapping, Zoro's nails rapping on the black gloss of Brook's piano probably. Sanji knows that he knows this song, it's an old ditty, something about a woman who died he thinks.

The song ends after a little while but Sanji still can't remember the words himself.

"Okay, that was very good Zoro, you obviously knew what the words were. So this time around I want you to sing the words, and I do mean sing. You need the rhythm in the words to link them with the music in order to get the right parts of your brain using language, that way we can bypass your injury." Chopper says in his gentle doctor voice.

From his hiding place around the corner Sanji's eyes widen. No way can Zoro sing, he can't even really string a sentence together yet. How can he sing the words to a song? Especially as no one has sung the words first, how can Zoro possibly copy?

"So Franky will sing along and I want you to as well, however loud or quietly you need to, just don't stop if you get words wrong, miss them out or get surprised by being able to sing them. The point is that you get through the whole song, and remember to tap. Got it?" Chopper says seriously. He hears Zoro make a noise of agreement in his throat.

"Okay then." Franky says happily and begins strumming.

The shipwrights voice floats out in the hall to Sanji and he can hear that tapping again along with the words that Franky is singing. The shipwright is enthusiastic about the lyrics as usual.

"In a cavern, in a canyon,

Excavating for a mine,"

As soon as the second part of the first verse kicks in though he can hear Zoro's voice, it's faint but it's there. He can't make out though if Zoro is just making noise along with Franky's singing or if he's actually making words, but he can hear Franky's.

"Dwelt a miner, forty niner,

And his daughter Clementine."

As soon as Franky begins the chorus though Zoro's voice comes through clearly, singing the words flawlessly, so much so that the shipwright dials back his own volume a little to let Zoro's voice take over. Sanji shivers to hear Zoro's voice, clear and perfect as he sings the song.

"Oh my darling, oh my darling,

Oh my darling Clementine,

Thou art lost and gone forever,

Dreadful sorry Clementine.

Drove she ducklings to the water,

Every morning, just at nine,

Hit her foot against a splinter,

Fell into the foaming brine.

Oh my darling, oh my darling,

Oh my darling Clementine,

Thou art lost and gone forever,

Dreadful sorry Clementine."

Verse after verse comes through clear as day with no hesitation, no mangled words and no flaws at all. Zoro actually… has quite a nice singing voice, deep and melodious. But Sanji's barely thinking of that, Zoro's singing all by himself and he's… cured.

"Ruby lips above the water,

Blowing bubbles soft and fine,

But, alas, I was no swimmer,

So I lost my Clementine.

Oh my darling, oh my darling,

Oh my darling Clementine,

Thou art lost and gone forever,

Dreadful sorry Clementine.

In a churchyard on a hillside,

Where the flowers grow and twine,

There grow roses amongst the posies,

On the grave of Clementine"

As the song finally ends, with Franky's guitar strings still ringing and the final notes fading from Brook's piano keys Sanji's heart finally starts beating again.

"That was amazing!" Franky laughs happily.

"Indeed! And a lovely baritone you have there too Zoro." Brook agrees.

Zoro must pull some expression at that because Brook continues speaking.

"Your singing voice, it's a baritone. It's to do with the level of note that you use. I- never mind, it's very nice." Brook says with a laugh.

"That was far more successful than I'd dared imagine Zoro! Could you try saying something for me Zoro?" Chopper says hopefully.

Sanji bites his lip and listens, not sure whether he wants to hear Zoro speak or not. Zoro's voice doesn't say anything though, but he hears that strained strangled noise from Zoro's throat that says that the swordsman is trying to force out a word that simply won't come. To his shame he breathes a sigh of relief, so Zoro can sing but that's no good at all if he can't talk, Zoro still needs him.

"Hey, shouldn't you be trying that tapping thing? Wasn't that the point? So that it carries over into when you talk?" Franky questions.

"Yes, Zoro try saying something again, anything. But make sure that you tap along with the syllables." Chopper instructs him again.

"Oh." Zoro says quietly, it's more a noise than a word though so it doesn't really count. Zoro hums thoughtfully.

"Anything." Zoro says clearly, a soft tapping on piano wood accompanying his word.

"Haha! That's brilliant, well you told him to say anything!" Franky laughs at Zoro's joke and this time Zoro laughs along.

"Wonderful! This could well be your road to recovery Zoro!" Chopper cheers happily.

Sanji slips back up on deck with a sick feeling in his gut. He should be happy for Zoro, the swordsman should get better but… well, Robin was right wasn't she? He was naïve to think that Zoro wouldn't try some other means of learning to talk. Zoro was never going to come back to him now, he didn't need him. That was his only ace up his sleeve gone, Zoro could well ignore him forever now.

The rest of his nakama react to the news of Zoro's newfound speaking abilities with appropriate joy. It's not a miracle fix, that's for sure. Around large numbers of people or if Zoro seems to be feeling anxious Zoro can't speak at all, more tellingly Zoro seems either unable or unwilling to speak when he can tell that Sanji is actively listening. He doesn't know if he puts Zoro in such a heightened state of emotion that he's not able to or if the swordsman is simply spiting him.

Still, he knows from the others that Zoro's recovery of words is patchy at its most charitable. Unless the swordsman is singing a song that he knows by heart he finds it hard to get words to come forward. His speech, though oddly musical in quality, is broken and frequently wrong. Zoro will often land on a similar sounding word, though he obviously knows that it's wrong. His grammar is all fucked up too, using words with the wrong tenses and pluralities all over the place. The others are often able to grasp his meaning though, and if not Zoro is able to mime enough to fill in a lot of gaps.

He watches what he can though, subtly as possible so that Zoro isn't aware of his surveillance. It seems that their nakama aren't as good at understanding Zoro as he is, sometimes what Zoro is trying to say is patently obvious to him but they just don't get it. Moreover their handling of it is all wrong, not understanding Zoro embarrasses or frustrates them which only agitates the swordsman and deteriorates his ability to speak even further. Sanji wants to leap in and tell them that they need to be patient and casual with Zoro, to not make him feel like he's doing it wrong, that's what works best. But he won't risk his own skin to do so, especially if maybe Zoro might come to him for meaningful conversation. The exchanges Zoro has with the others are largely superficial and really only stuff that Zoro could have mimed, he's still stuck with the conversational ability of a small child, not like how he was with Sanji.

He hopes and prays that Zoro will realise this and come back, but the stubborn swordsman seems determined to avoid him at all costs. Still, he has to try. He leaves it two days from when Zoro first sang, hopefully he might have calmed down a little. He arranges it so that he manages to subtly bump into Zoro and takes the opportunity to ask a casually innocent question. He figures that perhaps instead of going through all of the overtures of a big apology and making it all a big deal he'll just act almost as if nothing has happened, thus inviting Zoro to simply go back to how things were, it's a great idea.

"Oh, Zoro. You wouldn't have seen my knife sharpening block would you?" He asks innocently as he bumps into Zoro in the hallway outside of the men's bunkroom.

Zoro stops in his tracks and stares at him. It's not a stare of surprise, or a questioning stare, simply a blank and cold look. Sanji feels the urge to fill the silence and so he begins to babble.

"I just- you know, I've misplaced it and I thought you might know where it is. Do you?" he asks further.

Zoro says nothing, he doesn't even attempt to say anything. Nor does the swordsman move from his position by the door of the men's bunkroom, he was headed past Sanji initially and whilst Sanji isn't obviously blocking the way Zoro still has to move past him to get up on deck.

"Not that I'm saying that you've moved it or anything, that's not what I'm… wanting to imply." He adds nervously, squirming under the heavy weight of Zoro's stare.

"I was just hoping that you might be able to tell me if you'd seen it." He squeaks meekly as Zoro's eyes bore into him. All of the hairs on the back of Sanji's neck start to stand on end and he swears he's starting to sweat like a sinner in church, Zoro's gaze is unrelenting, seeming to question not only Sanji's sanity in beginning this stupid plan but perhaps even his very existence in the world. It's making him unreasonably uncomfortable and after a few more seconds he crumples and flattens himself against the wall to allow Zoro to pass with ample room and squeaks out a pathetic "never mind!". The swordsman passes him silently and heads out above deck on his own.

Sanji slides down the wall with shaking hands, grateful to have escaped that scary encounter uninjured. He really doesn't want to fight Zoro again because he refuses to do just that, he won't fight so all that will happen is Zoro will injure him out of anger once more. He avoids Zoro for the rest of the day, ducking out of his sight with a level of cowardice that even Usopp would find shameful.

What else can he do? He's tried apologising to Zoro and he's tried acting like everything is fine, nothing seems to work. Maybe he just needs to accept that his relationship with Zoro is never coming back. That the easy comfortable bond that they'd managed to start was dead before it even really began, he misses Zoro's company and now that he's had it he just wants the swordsman to forgive him. His mind recalls the feeling of Zoro's gaze on his mouth and Zoro's fingers on his lips. Despite the distance of the memory his body shudders and a tug of wanting curls in his belly, his mind rushes to the fore with fantasies of kissing Zoro, of the swordsman's hands on his body and-

He sighs and shakes his head. Zoro didn't want to share the same air as him let alone a bed. That was never going to happen now. He's in the kitchen alone at night, hoping to pass the time before Zoro goes to bed so that he can sneak into his own room like a thief and sleep. Not that he's getting much sleep at the moment, and the sleep that he does get is haunted with memories of Zoro's accident or echoes of it, where a seemingly normal dream will suddenly end in blood, panic and fear. All things that leave him gasping for breath in the small hours of the morning, his system flooded with adrenaline.

It was all so soon to be over though. He'd not even decided whether to pursue his feelings for Zoro before everything had come crashing down. He'd not considered where he could take Zoro on a date to try to woo him, he'd not spent time studiously working out what Zoro liked so as to devise a perfect gift for him. All he had was a doomed desire for the other man, one that would be best to give up and die because Zoro was more likely to kill him than to kiss him right now.

He checks the clock, it's eleven at night. Zoro doesn't have watch, he hasn't been entrusted with a night watch since his injury as he'd find it hard to alert his nakama to danger in time. And as Zoro's swords are still confiscated and he's still banned from alcohol lots of the moss head's pastimes have been taken from him. So… Zoro should be in bed asleep, the only hobby that Zoro's still allowed to indulge right now.

He yawns into his hand and quietly makes his way into the boy's bunkroom. Usopp is reading by a dim light on his head, a little reading torch that he'd rigged up. Luffy and Chopper are snoring softly in the same hammock in the corner, Luffy holding onto the little doctor like a stuffed toy, his face buried in the other's fur. His eyes find Zoro straight away though, sprawled messily in his hammock with his face tilted away from the light and one arm and the opposite leg hanging out of the hammock. As Zoro has the bottom hammock his hand is resting on the floor in what looks to be an uncomfortable way, as if he's just stumbled into the hammock rather than got into it.

Some anxiety flares through Sanji, bright and hot. What if Zoro hadn't just fallen into bed haphazardly to sleep? What if he'd passed out? Dizzy with worry he stumbles quietly as he can towards Zoro and crouches down. He's not bleeding or anything but the swordsman is awfully still and now that he's closer the way that Zoro's hand is resting on the floor looks awfully unnatural, he's more and more convinced that Zoro must have lost consciousness or something.

"Usopp, did you see Zoro get into bed?" He whispers urgently. The sharpshooter turns to him in puzzlement, his weak light illuminating Zoro and making the light shine on the plate in his head.

"No, he was like that when I came in. Why?" Usopp asks suspiciously. Sanji looks back at Zoro, is it just Usopp's light or does Zoro's skin have a pale pallor to it that it's usually there? He leans in close and can't actually make out if Zoro is breathing or not. He holds his breath in terror as he watches Zoro's chest for breath, what if he's had some kind of haemorrhage or something?! THERE! Zoro breathes in and out softly, his breath ever so shallow. Sanji breathes a huge sigh of relief and he notices Zoro's breath deepen as well, he even shifts slightly.

At once a shudder runs down his spine, like someone walking over his grave and all the hairs on his body stand on end. He leans back and sees that Zoro is not asleep, not anymore. The swordsman is giving him a sharp glare that could even put hawk-eyes Mihawk to shame.

"Zoro!" He gasps in surprise, Zoro's look becomes darker and more threatening.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. You just looked… I thought maybe you'd fainted or something, I thought you might be hurt." He explains in relief. He realises however that his sentence implies that Zoro is some fainting damsel of olden times or something, but it's too late to unsay it. Zoro's expression however ratchets up from threatening to fucking terrifying and the hand that was so unnaturally sprawled on the floor clenches into a tight fist.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to upset you, I just- I was worried!" He squeaks, backing away. Now Zoro looks like he wants to rip out his throat with his teeth. A feral growl slips from Zoro's lips and it's so deep and threatening that every part of Sanji's brain, every bit of his DNA that has survived through a finely honed fight or flight reflex passed down through millions of ancestors is telling him to get the fuck away from Zoro right now before he dies.

He dashes to the other side of the room with a strangled good night and leaps into his hammock fully dressed, he daren't get out or even look back in Zoro's direction for fear of brutal murder that he'd be completely unable to defend himself from, not without hurting Zoro at least. He squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to fall asleep and not think of the dark eyes of the swordsman staring so malevolently at him.

Franky's music drifts into his ears, it's echoing around the cavernous cave that they're sitting in. It's some familiar tune but Sanji can't quite place it. He gets up and walks to the entrance of the cave, leaving the shipwright strumming along on his guitar inside. At the edge of the cave Nami is sitting on a rock eating wedges of fruit in the sunshine. The sun hits his skin and makes Sanji feel relaxed and happy.

"Isn't the canyon beautiful in the morning like this?" Nami asks him with a smile as she peels the fruit in her hands.

"Yeah, it is." Sanji agrees. The walls glow in the morning light, showing layers of differently coloured rock.

"What time is it anyway?" He asks curiously, he doesn't actually remember going to sleep. And… actually… he can't remember when they got to this canyon at all.

"Just at nine." Nami answers strangely. That's on odd way of putting that…

His train of thought is interrupted as Brook tunes his violin and tests out a few notes. Seemingly satisfied the skeleton begins playing a little familiar melody, the same one that Franky had been playing as a matter of fact. What was the song? He swears that he knows it but he can't place it.

"Clementine?" Nami asks him, holding out the orange fruit.

"Isn't this a mikan?" He asks with a frown, taking it from her.

"No, Clementine." She says shaking her head. An itch of familiarity prickles at Sanji's skin, this… it's all so similar to something.

Distant quacking gets his attention and a flash of green hair makes him realise that it's Zoro he can see just beyond the rocks.

"Zoro!" He calls and jogs in his direction. Zoro is heading downhill though, herding… ducklings? Why is he doing that? He's having the dart this way and that to drive them all in the same direction towards the river. Wait. Wasn't this like that song? Something about… a woman? Somehow Brook and Franky's playing seems to pick up and reach him even there by the foaming and frothing river.

A sense of foreboding steals over Sanji and he rushes to Zoro, but before he can get there Zoro trips on a branch and tumbles into the seething water.

"ZORO!" He yelps and dashes to the water's edge. He can still hear Franky and Brook playing but their music has taken on a fast paced and almost sinister quality to it.

"I can't swim!" He cries, the words falling from his mouth without even passing through his brain. Out in the water Zoro struggles, and dips below the surface, a harsh undercurrent sucking him under briefly before returning him gasping to the surface.

Wait! What was he talking about? Of course he could swim! He runs along the river bank desperately trying to keep up with the river dragging Zoro down. He sees Zoro hit a rock in the river and disappear once more below the foaming water. He leaps and dives into the water and reaches the rock right away.

"ZORO!" He yells, clinging to the rock and searching the water with his eyes. He pulls his hand from the rock and sees that it's covered in blood, Zoro's blood. It slides down his forearm and into the water, it blossoms suddenly in the river and spreads like wildfire, turning the water around him into thick churning blood.

A hand wraps around his ankle below the surface and pulls him under, he can only hold his breath for so long though and when he gasps for air he finds himself… not under water, or under blood either. He's on the edge of a cliff, teetering on the edge with Zoro's hand wrapped bruisingly hard around his wrist.

"Let go!" He shouts unthinkingly, and this time Zoro does.

His stomach drops as gravity takes hold of him, sending him plummeting off of the edge of the cliff. He turns in the air and sees the beach below him, clear except for one solitary rock, headed right for him.

Sanji jolts awake with a yell, the dreamed impact still stinging on his skin. He sucks in deep trembling breaths at the nightmare fades. His hands are shaking uncontrollably and that damnable melody is echoing around the inside of his skull. He glances Zoro's way in the darkness and swears that he sees the swordsman's dark eyes watching him in the night, he shakes his head and looks again but the swordsman is sound asleep.

Still shaking down to his core he gets up and stumbles out of the bunk room, it's only three in the morning but there's no way he wants to sleep again tonight, not with horrors like that lurking behind his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a week since Zoro nearly broke Sanji's wrist and the sleep deprivation might be starting to get to him. He's fine though, goddamnit. Even Chopper has started asking if he's okay but he's managed to fob the little doctor off. Chopper should be focusing on his real patient, Zoro. So, he might be down to about two hours sleep a night if he's lucky, but he's fine. Aside from the nightmares that won't stop plaguing him every time he dreams he's fine. He's managed to schedule it so that he can cat nap for about twenty minutes before he falls into dreaming and nightmares, if he just keeps doing that he can about stay sane. And fine, he is definitely fine.

The shaking is new however. It reminds him of once when they ran out of cigarettes and he was forced to go cold turkey. But he's fine. Honest. Okay, the creeping paranoia is starting to grate but other than that he's fine. He swears that he can feel the swordsman's penetrating eyes on him all the time, like Zoro is constantly surveying him, but whenever he looks around Zoro either isn't there or isn't looking at him. But he's fine. Really he is. F I N E, fine.

"Hey Sanji." Franky calls as he comes in the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. The shipwright saunters up to the bar and hops up on one of the barstools.

"Hi." He replies, a little surprised to see the shipwright in here at this time of day as it's after breakfast but quite some time before lunch.

"Can you pass me a cola?" Franky asks, combing a hand through his hair casually.

"Sure thing." Sanji answers, stifling a yawn behind one hand as he bends to grab one.

"You've not been sleeping well lately. When was the last time you slept bro?" Franky asks holding out his hand and taking the cola from him.

"About an hour ago." He replies with a shrug. He doesn't mention that he jerked awake before the nightmares threatened to take him again, he doesn't mention that he feels even less rested than before, and that wasn't great to start with.

"Uh huh. I- hey, could you get me a cold one of these? This one is warm." Franky asks, handing it back to him.

Sanji frowns at the drink in his hand, he swears that he took that from the fridge but… he can't quite remember doing it. He bends down and puts the drink back in the fridge.

"So Sanji, did you ever have a brother or sister when you were a kid?" Franky asks suddenly.

"No, Zeff raised me alone." Sanji answers, crouching down to get a cold cola out of the fridge for Franky.

"I have a brother." Franky says.

"I know, Iceberg. Why are we talking about this?" He asks, leaning to the side to see Franky around the fridge door.

"Well, sometimes older brothers recognise that you're doing something dumb and help you out. Big brothers have more experience at things you know? They like to look out for their little bros." the cyborg says cryptically.

"Okay." Sanji blinks sleepily at him.

"You're like a younger brother to me Sanji, and I'm worried about you." The blue haired man says dramatically.

"I assume there's a point here." Sanji replies flatly, looking over the fridge door at him, despite his sleep deprivation the part of his brain responsible for talking back and mouthing off is so well used that he'd probably have to be dead to forget how to use it. Even then he's not sure he wouldn't be a mean sarcastic ghost, in fact he almost certainly would be.

"The point is that you've been messed up ever since Zoro got injured. It affected all of us but it seems to have really got to you, and it's only been getting worse. We all hear the nightmares you have you know." Franky says in a pitying tone that makes Sanji's hackles rise.

"Well excuse me for giving a shit about my nakama." He snaps irritably.

"And you're one of mine." Franky retorts.

The other man's face softens after a moment and he lets out a weary sigh.

"Look, I'm betting that whatever it is about Zoro getting hurt that screwed with your head is behind whatever happened between you and Zoro to start this feud. We're worried about you, we all are, even Zoro." Franky says gently.

Now that gets Sanji's attention and pulls him to his feet. He shuts the fridge behind him and leans on it while that idea washes over him. Zoro is concerned about him? Does that mean that he's starting to come around? To see just how much his safety means to Sanji? Perhaps he's starting to see how much Sanji cares, maybe he'll even understand. Sanji habitually flexes his wrist, it doesn't hurt anymore but the memory of the injury is deep seated.

"There's no problem, Zoro will come around." He states confidently and pulls Franky out a cool cola.

"Sanji-" Franky frowns but Sanji ushers him out of the room urgently. Stifling another huge yawn he sets to work on lunch, they'll be arriving at the next island around lunch time so he's planning on having a light lunch ready for them and then a little packed lunch to take in their bags with them. Or in Luffy's case, a regular lunch and another regular lunch.

He's only just put the finishing touches on their lunches and laid the light lunch out on the table when Luffy's excited screech about land rings out across the ship.

"LAND HO!" Luffy hollers from on the deck.

He steps from the kitchen to see the crew gathered at the rail of the ship, looking out at the new island. In the middle is a large mountain, snow-capped and ringed with cloud at the top. The air here is a little cool but not too chilly, the island itself is a rust colour that, if Sanji squints, is caused by the changing leaves on millions of trees. It's the unmistakable look of Autumn on an Autumn island. Sanji glances over and sees a happy and serene smile on Zoro's face and it makes his heart clench.

"Lunch is ready." He says and is promptly nearly trampled to death by Luffy in his desperate bid to eat his food and everyone else's. Accustomed to the inevitability of Luffy's theft the rest of the crew quickly abandon the beautiful vista and head into the kitchen, all save for Zoro who lingers at the rail.

"Zoro…" He starts carefully, not reaching his hand out to touch the other man like he wants to just in case he's attacked again. The swordsman turns sharply then, his attention ripped from the island. He gives Sanji an uncomfortable stare before moving on past him and into the kitchen in a silence that Sanji knows full well is deliberate. Sanji sighs to himself and returns to his kitchen he sits down and eats whilst Nami plans what they're going to do.

"Zoro, you're coming with me when we land. I need to pick up a few things and I want to keep an ear to the ground for any local rumours. Besides, I could use some peace and quiet." Nami orders Zoro.

Zoro laughs and flips her off with a grin, apparently he can understand Nami now too. When did that happen? Sanji bites his tongue, normally he'd leap in and tell Zoro off for swearing at Nami but… Zoro hates him enough already. He pushes his food around his plate with his fork instead.

"I'll raise your debt if you keep that up." Nami threatens, making Zoro's jaw snap shut and a scowl cross his face. Oh yeah, Zoro can definitely understand her again.

"Anyway, this ought to be a nice quiet island, we'll get a chance to resupply and catch our breath." Nami continues, looking around the group.

"No! I want an adventure! I want excitement!" Luffy yells needlessly loudly.

"The day of Zoro's injury was pretty adventurous and exciting, wouldn't you say Luffy? Be careful what you wish for." Robin points out morbidly from across the table to Luffy. Sanji watches as their captain's face drops, he looks guilty and sad and upset.

"Robin." Franky chides her in a quiet voice, but Robin shoots him a challenging look and Franky drops his objection.

Zoro rolls his eyes before throwing his arm around their rubber captain's shoulders. He knocks Luffy's hat off his head and ruffles the boy's raven hair.

"'s okay." Zoro mumbles into Luffy's hair with a forgiving smile showing around his eyes. Sanji watches Zoro's finger tap on the table as he speaks the syllables, that music therapy that the others are doing with him seems to be working somehow.

"Hey, did Zoro just… that's the first I've heard him talk in front of everyone!" Usopp exclaims excitedly. And it's true, Sanji knows that Zoro's spoken to or possibly sang in front of more or less everyone in the crew now, but not always directly to them. But in front of everyone whatever anxious part of Zoro's mind seems to mute him, which makes Sanji sad because it's pretty much the only time he gets to hear Zoro's longed for voice anymore.

Luffy beams at Zoro and wraps his arms around him several times, pulling him into a bone crushing hug that has most of the crew grinning in Luffy's contagious happiness, Zoro included.

"Robin's got a point though, that island seemed peaceful right until we ran into those marines and Zoro cracked his head open. We can't be too careful." Nami muses, leaning back in her chair thoughtfully. Sanji hopes that she'll demand that Zoro stay confined to the ship, that's what Sanji wants, he needs to know that Zoro is safe. He can't let his nightmares of Zoro getting hurt each night become reality, not again.

His hope becomes horror though as Nami stands and leans on the table, steps up onto her chair and reaches up to the ceiling. Her fingers brush against the unsecured Adam wood boards in the galley's ceiling, the one that slides back to reveal a hollow space – a space that isn't exactly empty right now.

He leaps up onto the table and catches Nami's wrist before she can open it, he doesn't grab her tight enough to hurt her but Nami will not move whilst he has her, he won't let her open that compartment.

"You can't." He breathes, looking into her wide surprised eyes.

"Let me go Sanji." Nami orders him flatly. Ordinarily, he'd bow to her whim, he wouldn't even have put his hands on her like this without her permission, but this is serious.

"You can't do this Nami, you can't." He begs her.

He feels a hand wrap around his knee and he glances down to see Zoro's piercing dark eyes on him for just a second before Zoro yanks him down onto the table. Sanji lands on his ass on the table top, thankfully this meal had been more of a buffet type affair, with all of the food in the middle of the table with plates stacked at the end. It seemed that Zoro hadn't taken his yet because if he had Sanji's ass would be right on it, sat as he is facing Zoro with his legs on either size of Zoro's lap.

Zoro shoots a pointed look up at Nami and presses his hands into Sanji's thighs, effectively pinning him onto the table and keeping him from interfering with Nami's mission.

"Nami, don't! Please!" He calls up to her. But regardless the navigator slides the boards in the ceiling aside and reaches into the hollow space in there. Sanji takes his eyes from her and looks at Zoro, his nakama… he needs the man to live and arming him with his sword isn't going to help.

Zoro is holding him in place but Sanji isn't going to try escaping now, even if he does stop Nami he knows that Zoro will get into that space at the first opportunity. He won't fight Zoro, he can't, so Zoro will get past him even if he does try to stop him. There's nothing he can do.

"Zoro…" He pleads quietly as Nami hands Zoro his three swords, but the swordsman ignores him, getting to his feet and gratefully taking his swords off of Nami. Zoro unbuckles his belt and slides the swords into their place.

Zoro stands in between Sanji's open knees and glares at him before nodding to Nami and leaving. Sanji sits there feeling numb, Zoro is armed now, and before the end of the day he'll be on an island and no doubt without him there to protect him. He can't exactly see Zoro agreeing to be around him after all.

"Sanji, what's the big deal? Why are you trying so hard to keep Zoro from his swords?" Nami demands, her hands on her hips.

Sanji's fingers dig into the table, his nails making indents. He shakes as he tries to keep his words in. He doesn't want to upset a lady, to offend, or to hurt – so he needs to keep his mouth shut.

"Sanji answer me!" Nami demands, stamping her foot. Sanji bites hard on his lip and shakes his head. He can't, he's tried so hard and sacrificed so much and still his nightmares are going to come true.

"Sanji!" Nami snaps, catching his shoulder and spinning him to her. Sanji looks at her and within his chest the poisonous idea of 'it's her fault' wells up in his chest and poisons his tongue.

"Zoro's got his swords back now, and no one's going to be able to take them off him. When he fights someone, and he will now that you've armed him again, if that fight kills him then that'll be on your head." He says flatly.

He wants to regret the words, especially when Nami looks like he's slapped her. But he can't. If Zoro dies from this he'll blame himself, sure, but he'll blame her too now as well. Sanji stands up from the table and heads outside. He can see from the flash of swords that Zoro is up in his training room reacquainting himself with his weapons. Sanji sighs and looks at the island by their side with some trepidation. He just knows that something is going to go awfully wrong there, he can just tell it.

He wants to go somewhere where he can be on his own and lash out at something to make him feel better. Before all of this he would have gone to Zoro, he'd have said some stupid comment about something or other to make Zoro fight him and then got his frustration out of his system. Or if he couldn't do that he'd go to his kitchen and cook until he reached that place that Zoro had so rightly likened to meditation.

Except… he couldn't fight Zoro, and he'd just stormed out of his own kitchen to get away from everyone in it. He slinks down into the men's bunkroom and climbs into his hammock. He hauls the cover over his head and wishes the world was like it used to be.

Eventually someone comes into the room after him, he can tell from the soft footsteps that it's Luffy. When he's not charging around their captain is actually very light on his feet, his well-worn sandals certainly help. The younger man pulls up the edge of Sanji's blanket and pokes his head into the warm space underneath it, his nose almost touching Sanji's.

"We're going exploring now." Luffy says quietly to him.

"Good for you." Sanji replies, not opening his eyes.

"Zoro is going." Luffy adds.

"Alright then." Sanji grumbles, throwing off the covers and sitting up. He grits his teeth and follows Luffy out onto the deck. Zoro doesn't look at him and Nami throws him an exaggerated "hmph!" and struts off, Sanji is too tired and highly strung to go after her.

He follows the group through the island on autopilot, the only thing he's paying attention to is what's around them, he's not listening to his nakama's conversations at all. He's listening for enemies hiding around corners, keeping an eye for anyone who might run over and attempt to hurt his nakama.

It seems though that the only danger around is the fact that this island is baking. It doesn't make sense, it looked like an Autumn island from the shore but yet underfoot it's scorching, though the breeze feels cool. It's puzzling, but Sanji doesn't have a lot of time to problem solve an answer as they're starting up a cliff path to get to the village on the other side. It sounds like a bad joke.

They're all walking along the cliff edge and Sanji is watching Zoro like hawk, he's angry enough that they had to come this way in the first place, the last cliff edge that they were at didn't exactly end well for them did it? He remains more than close enough to grab Zoro if he has to and he's spending a large proportion of his energy watching every casual footstep that Zoro takes.

The cliff path winds its way further up the mountain and the higher they go the more anxious Sanji gets and the more he feels the need to keep watch on Zoro. He's not going to let anything harm Zoro, he's responsible for protecting him and he's not going to fail again, no way.

"You know, I'm certain that this is a volcano and not a mountain. It explains the heat, it's coming from inside." Nami remarks casually as they walk along the path. Sanji's frayed nerves twang anxiously. A volcano? That kind of shit was dangerous!

"Oh, do you think it might be active Nami? It could surely kill us all if it was." Robin smiles.

"Robin, stop being so creepy." Franky mutters from behind him. Normally Sanji would shout at the bastard for being mean about Robin but right now he can't manage the mental effort, too much of his brain is already being used up by panic.

"Hm, I don't think so. I think that this is an inactive volcano, did you see how this island was part of a chain? It looked to me like these are volcanic islands where the magma moves along a line slowly creating a new island in turn and leaving a dead volcano in the middle of each one. I could see that the ocean was shallower off of the coast, I guess a new island is forming there, but there's still going to be some heat to this volcano. That's my guess at least." Nami says with a shrug from her position near the front of the group.

"I think a volcano explosion would be cool! I could punch lava!" Luffy whoops excitedly from his place leading the front of the group.

"Doesn't rubber melt at high temperatures though?" Robin points out with a sneaky little smile.

"Aw, I hadn't thought of that…" Luffy pouts unhappily. In front of Sanji Zoro laughs quietly, low and deep, Sanji finds that the first thing to break through the fog of anxiety about Zoro is… lust for Zoro, that laugh sends shivers up his spine. Great, now he's worried and miserable all at once.

"Mm!" Zoro makes a noise in his throat to get Nami's attention and reaches forward, tugging on a strand of her hair. The swordsman takes a couple of quick steps so he's walking almost beside her. Zoro gestures, first holding his hands apart and pulling them further away and then pointing down to the ground and then around in a circle with a questioning expression on his face.

Sanji understands what Zoro is asking clear as day. "How big is this island?"

But Nami doesn't seem to get it, her expression is puzzled. Sanji is about to lean forward and translate as an attempt at fence-mending with Zoro but at that moment he sees Zoro's path veer far too close to the edge for Sanji's liking. His booted feet are stepping right near the edge of the cliff path, so much so that a few rocks actually scatter down the mountain side.

"Zoro!" He yelps, grabbing the back of Zoro's haramaki and slamming him into the cliff wall.

Zoro looks dazed for a split second before Zoro snarls and grabs the front of Sanji's shirt, slamming his back into the wall behind them. His teeth are sharp and bared angrily at him.

"Don't give me that! You were going to fall! This cliff is unstable damnit!" Sanji shouts back at him.

"Just… drop it Zoro. Keep walking, I'll talk to him." Franky says, disentangling the two of them.

Zoro growls at Franky but the shipwright gives him a straight no nonsense look and after a second or two of intense eye contact the swordsman huffs and stomps on, shooting Sanji a dirty look as he does so.

Sanji glowers up at Franky who's still holding Sanji by his shirt collar. Franky steps closer to the mountain wall to let the others pass so that they're in the back, when they are Franky leans in to talk to him.

"See, Sanji? This is what we mean, we're worried about you. Chopper thinks that there might be something wrong with your head, a stress disorder or something. I know Zoro getting hurt shocked all of us but you took it badly, you seemed to get okay when he started getting better but then it all tanked, what happened?" Franky asks, letting Sanji go and walking alongside him along the cliff edge.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sanji mutters, trying to walk ahead. A big hand on the back of his neck however informs him that Franky wasn't really asking so much as he is ordering.

"I just can't lose him again. He's not the same Zoro he was before, that Zoro could handle himself, this one is fragile but he doesn't know it. I need to keep an eye on him and everyone's acting like he's the same!" Sanji snaps, pulling away from Franky as much as he can and craning his neck to see Zoro's figure up ahead.

"But… Sanji, that doesn't make sense, there's more than just that going on. There has to be." Franky says, stopping him and turning him around. Sanji reluctantly stops again and looks up at the other man.

"I mean… think about it little bro. Think about whoever on the crew you think is the weakest, whoever you would be most concerned about if they got cornered. You don't have to tell me who but just… imagine them." Franky says seriously.

Sanji frowns and thinks. He's always incredibly worried about Nami and Robin, but in truth both of them survived around strong pirates on their own for years before they joined the crew, Robin managed to hold her own against a whole league of assassins and Crocodile. Sure, they both needed protecting but they could handle themselves more or less. He finds his mind settling on Usopp. It isn't that the sharpshooter isn't capable or cunning, he's both of those things in spades, but unlike Nami and Robin he's pretty weak in close combat. If Usopp is a respectable distance from their enemies then Sanji hardly gives him a second thought in a fight, but if he sees Usopp get cornered he or Zoro will always dart in to get the sharpshooter some distance so he can be deadly again. He supposes that Usopp, in that respect at least, is the weakest of them.

"Good, you're thinking of someone then." Franky nods, apparently noting his expression.

"Now… whoever that is… you're not treating them like you're treating Zoro right now. So there's got to be more to this than you worrying about him. So what is it?" the blue haired man asks urgently.

Sanji shakes his head and pulls away, digging his heels into the ground and ripping the seam of his shirt a little to do it. He doesn't want to think about this, he doesn't want to consider it, he's just not having this conversation.

Franky seems to let him go and Sanji catches up to the rest of the crew, falling into step behind Brook as he does so. He's contemplating rushing past him to get up to Zoro's level again but the swordsman might just kill him if he does so. Either way, the path they're on is leading them back down off of the (possibly) inactive volcano and instead down into the town below. It's a pretty little town, with a port at its main entrance. Sanji's glad that they haven't docked there as he can see two marine ships docked there at first glance, as well as a marine base.

Sanji bites his tongue, no one would appreciate him suggesting that Zoro go back to the ship and frankly he's sure that the number of people who would consider hurting him for saying so is starting to grow beyond just Zoro.

"Look, we'll go to the bar, get a drink and cool down. It's only after lunch so it should be quiet, then we'll quickly get what we need and get out of here. Sound good? Everyone had better behave." She warns, giving them all a threatening look. They all follow her in there.

It's a big bar, a long building which stretches for some way from the large bar itself to a big stage at the other end and plenty of seating in between. Oh, and there are marines in there, hundreds of them in fact. Sanji pulls on the back of Luffy's shirt, trying to urge him to go when-

"I can't believe they have that "no body, no bounty" rule! I killed Roronoa Zoro! I deserve that money!" One guy across the bar complains loudly. Sanji lets his hand drop, there's no way he could stop Luffy now even if he wanted to. And he's not sure that he does want to.

"I mean, I shoved him off that cliff! I saw him go splat but his stupid friends carried him off! A pricy body like that, probably rotting at the bottom of the ocean now when it could be making me money! Feh." The guy grumbles, folding his arms and leaning back on his chair sulkily.

Zoro slowly and deliberately unsheathes his swords as he walks towards the guy, he takes long enough for them to make that deliberately distinctive unsheathing sound. Several marines by the door see them and quickly try to take their leave, but the hiss of air and the smell of ozone behind Sanji tell him without looking that Nami's clima-tact is armed and dangerously so. This fight is inevitable.

Zoro's boots thunk loudly on the wooden bar floor as he approaches the marine. His friends fall silent, half looking as if they've seen a ghost and half reaching for their weapons. He's quicker though and as the marine turns, and it is that marine - Sanji will never forget that face. Zoro's sword flashes through the air and the bastard marine's head falls to the floor with a thump that makes the whole room fall silent. The guy's headless body sits slack in the chair in the completely silent room, a few confused heartbeats worth of blood spill down what remains of his neck and onto his shirt.

For a moment his friends sit stunned until one of them pulls a gun and fires. Sanji's jaw drops as the bullet seems to meet Zoro's sword in a flash of sparks and vanish, embedding itself in the wall to the side of him. Sanji doesn't know if that was a lucky shot or if Zoro has finally managed to learn Mihawk's trick of altering the path of a bullet with his blade. Either way he's not about to leave Zoro alone to find out.

Luffy yells and barrels across the room, avenging the slight against his nakama and conveniently ignoring the fact that Zoro sort of started it by decapitating a man. His fists are flying and he's fighting anyone he can, probably people who would have stayed out of the fight if they had been given the choice. A bolt of lightning rips through the room along with a barrage of shots from Usopp and Nami.

Sanji sighs and looks around. Robin, Nami and Usopp are clustered together and will probably be okay, Brook and Franky are dealing with the flanks of the room and could step in anyway. His priority then is Zoro.

He darts forward and kicks a table over, providing some cover for Zoro from gunfire. He sticks near Zoro's back, an age old pattern for them, usually they would either cover each other's blind spots or compete for victories, but now Sanji is just trying to protect him.

Normally he'd stray a little from Zoro's back, his most powerful attacks require a little room after all, but he'd rather cut off his own hands than risk pulling any kind of spinning kick that could accidentally connect with Zoro's head. No, he'd rather stick close to Zoro's back and protect that shining plate in the back of his head that's keeping Zoro alive.

He all but glues himself to Zoro's shoulder blades as he delivers kicks to the gut and skulls of the guys attacking them. His range isn't what it could be though and the marines are getting closer than he would like. Zoro growls at him and switches places with him seamlessly, his longer reach with his swords arcing out and cutting a swathe through their attackers.

He follows Zoro back towards a wall as Zoro pursues a gaggle of marines shooting at them, he kicks a chair or two their way to dissuade them from firing quite so much. Fire suddenly arcs through the room as one of Usopp's shots go wide, Sanji glances and sees that Brook barrelled into him, knocking his aim off. Unfortunately that means that one of Usopp's rather more tame fire stars flies into the bottles behind the bar, turning the relatively safe fire attack into a giant fireball that explodes through the room and sets the ceiling alight. Great.

Burning booze fills the room almost instantly with acrid smoke, making Sanji cough. He reaches out and grabs Zoro by the shoulder, pulling him close so that he can shout over the racket of the room.

"Zoro, we need to get out of here. I can't keep track of you and everyone else at the same time with all this smoke!" He coughs. Zoro snarls at him and shakes his hand off, understanding him all too well. It's their job as the two strongest fighters after Luffy to keep an eye on the rest of the crew and step in to protect them if need be, Zoro clearly isn't pleased at being re-categorized from a protector to someone needing protection.

The swordsman darts off in the smoke after someone else, or perhaps just away from Sanji. Three guys take the opportunity to try to get the jump on him now that Zoro is away from his back, apparently they think Zoro was protecting him. Sanji relishes the chance to really stretch his legs in a good, albeit quick, fight. And since the building is on fire he can even let loose with a little diablo jambe. He doesn't have time to dally with these fools though and as soon as they're down he rushes off in the direction that Zoro left in.

Bizarrely Zoro isn't where he should be from the way he stormed off and Sanji somehow finds him on the other end of the building near the stage. He really shouldn't be surprised at Zoro's talents at getting lost in one room, though he swears that physics is going to catch up with Zoro one day when it works out what he's doing.

Zoro is fighting a group of swordsmen who are all trying to circle around him and outnumber him, he's backing dangerously close to the stairs of the stage though and Sanji has visions of him suddenly stumbling backwards and cracking his head open once more. He sprints desperately towards the swordsman, coughing on smoke as he does so. He dashes up the stairs and his hand barely even brushes the back of Zoro's shirt before the swordsman's arm snaps back, slamming against him and pinning him to a wooden beam behind Sanji.

The sword sticking out of his chest is a surprise.

It seems to be pretty surprising to Zoro too if the shocked and horrified look on the other man's face is anything to go by. He didn't even feel the blade go in, and yet it's sticking out of his chest and out through his back and he estimates that it's a good distance into the beam behind him too. He tries to breathe in but his throat just makes some awful gasping creak when he tries to, causing a white hot lance of pain to run through his chest.

Zoro's mouth is hanging open in a completely wordless terror, his hand is hovering just above his sword handle, seemingly not knowing whether to remove the sword or not. His eyes meet Sanji's and the agony and guilt radiating from them burn Sanji to his core.

"Maybe we should wait and they'll kill each other instead of-" One of the swordsman on the stage starts nastily. He's cut off though as his throat explodes outwards, he finds it quite hard to talk seeing as Zoro has cut his throat open in a movement so fast that Sanji didn't even see it. His friends aren't faring much better either as Zoro's rage filled blades remove several lives and many more limbs, either way none of them are going to be getting anywhere near to where Sanji is currently pinned.

Zoro turns his attention back to Sanji, though it was barely gone more than a second or two. His mouth mutely opens and closes with words he can't say. Sanji supposes that high stress situations like these aren't good for his word recall.

The blade itself, Sandai Kitetsu to be precise, is sticking out of his chest near his lower ribs. The black blade is wedged horizontally between two sets of ribs and surprisingly there isn't any blood coming out of the wound. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any air coming into his lungs either.

He gasps fruitlessly, unable to draw air into his body and each attempt hurting more than the last. Zoro's panicked and trembling hands find Sanji's face as the swordsman forces him to look him in the eyes. He thumps at his chest and tries to coax in a breath as he shakes his head.

Zoro gasps out an "oh" and holds his hand up as if to tell Sanji to stay. Zoro leans against him, pressing him into the beam whilst his dominant left hand reaches behind him and gently wraps around the sword hilt. His other hand touches Sanji's jaw with the gentlest of touches, it's almost a sweet gesture.

He only realises that Zoro has removed the blade when he sees the swordsman's elbow jerk straight back and air suddenly rushes into his starved greedy lungs. He chokes and coughs into Zoro's shoulder, dragging in breath after smoky breath as his lungs work once more. Sanji slumps forward into Zoro's chest, he coughs, his breathing doesn't feel quite right.

"Sorry, I should know better than to sneak up on you." He mumbles, reaching for the place on his chest where the sword went in.

Zoro shakes his head vigorously and leans him back against the wooden pillar, the movement makes Sanji's insides ache unpleasantly. He lifts his hand up to his face from his chest, it's completely drenched in blood. He glances down woozily to see the dark blood washing down the front of his shirt. He liked that shirt.

Zoro looks agonised and panicked, his mouth opening and shutting silently as he tries to get hold of words that the swordsman is clearly just too stressed to be able to find. His hands touch Sanji's chest and Sanji can feel them shaking slightly. Zoro doesn't seem to quite dare to touch the cut. He's never seen Zoro quite like this, he's very ambivalent about his own injuries whenever he's hurt, and he's usually not much more concerned about Sanji's. If he ever gets hurt in a fight Zoro would usually give him an assessing look, grunt out a question or an insult enquiring about his health or whether he could handle it and then they'd continue.

But now… now this is completely different. Perhaps it's because this is an injury that Zoro's inflicted on him and entirely by accident too. Oh, they've hurt each other in fights before but he's never broken anything of Zoro's and Zoro's never done more than ruin his clothes and give him shallow cuts. They both fight to a level that they know the other can handle. Typically, impaling him with a sword wouldn't fall into that category.

Zoro bites his lip and makes an anxious noise in his throat, he flicks Sanji an apologetic look and before Sanji can enquire what's wrong Zoro jams his hand against the hole in his chest. He hisses sharply in pain, as a white hot lance of agony shoots along the path that Zoro's sword took, it hurts far more than Zoro's blade ever did. He supposes that Zoro is so skilled and his swords are kept so sharp that he could kill you without you ever even feeling it, unless he wanted you to of course. He can't help but wonder if the miserable son of a bitch that shoved Zoro off that cliff felt it when Zoro cut his head off, probably not but he hopes so.

Zoro presses harder on the wound drawing a yelp from Sanji this time. He understands though, Zoro has to put pressure on it to stop him bleeding to death. Which is, you know, nice of him.

"Don't worry about it Zoro, I'll be fine. I just needed to protect you." He coughs, sounding unconvincingly fine as he draws in another shaking breath. Why aren't his goddamn lungs working right?!

"AGH!" Zoro yells right in his face in frustration. With his free hand he gestures to himself with a look of angry disbelief. Sanji gets his meaning well enough, Zoro's pointing out that right now it's hardly him that needs protecting. Still, current circumstances aside he's wrong.

The swordsman grumbles as Sanji doesn't take anything he's said back and instead peels him off of the now very blood stained wall and holds him close, keeping pressure on Sanji's back this time. Zoro carries him towards the stairs with Sanji half stumbling along with him.

"Careful." He mutters, having visions of Zoro tripping or something. Zoro's grip on his back becomes a little gentler.

"I meant you, idiot." Sanji coughs. Zoro shoots him an evil look and Sanji isn't sure but he thinks that Zoro jolts the hole in his chest deliberately as they quickly descend the stairs.

The fire is really starting to spread now, the whole roof is ablaze and beams from the ceiling are falling down. He can hear his nakama shouting to leave. As they reach the bottom of the stairs a worrying creak comes from the roof above them. Zoro pauses at the edge of the stairs as they both look up, with Sanji held tight against his chest with one hand and his free hand on his swords in case any other marines try to attack them. It's hard to make anything out of the fire licking its way along the wooden beams, that is, until one of those beams cracks and drops down right above where there are. Zoro leaps backwards, slamming himself against the wall and taking Sanji with him. Sanji hears the loud smack as Zoro hits the wall and the slight ring of metal from Zoro's head on the wall behind them.

"Zoro your head!" He gasps in a panic, reaching up and cradling the back of Zoro's head in his palm. The two of them clutch each other a little tighter as more beams fall down around them, trapping them where they are. The swordsman shakes his head out of Sanji's grasp and scowls at him for acting so concerned. And then, because he evidently doesn't care if Sanji has a heart attack, smashes his head into the wall behind him.

To Sanji's mixed surprise and horror the wall behind Zoro's head actually begins to split and shatter when he hits it with his stupid metal plated head.

"No! Stop it! You'll kill yourself you idiot!" He shouts, trying to stop Zoro. But it's clear that the brain damaged moss headed MORON isn't going to quit trying to break down the wall with his head. Sanji hauls him out of the way and kicks clean through the wall, making the brick crumble and explode outwards, leaving enough room for both of them to escape. He leaps through the gap, dragging Zoro with him and fully aware that the unstable building won't hold long.

As soon as they make it out of the other side Sanji's legs give up and dump him on the floor bent over on his knees with the top of his head pressed into the ground. He watches a worrying stream of blood gush from the hole in his chest onto the grass below. He's not sure if it's from the blood loss or from the smoke but he's really starting to feel quite weak and lightheaded.

Zoro rolls him onto his side and lifts up his drenched shirt to examine the cut that goes right through him. He groans and shuts his eyes, hoping that the world will stop spinning soon. His skin feels dull and dimmed, like he's feeling everything through a thick blanket. He's probably going into shock or something, oh man, Chopper will probably kill him for this if he doesn't die and if he does die Chopper will find some way to bring him back to life so he can kill him for it.

Zoro's finger skirts along the edge of the cut, making Sanji jerk in a sudden gasp which sets him off coughing again.

"I can't breathe right and… everything's kinda numb." He croaks, looking blearily up at Zoro. The swordsman's face contorts in guilt. Zoro picks him up gingerly and carries him on his back, he runs around the burning building desperately trying to find their nakama. Unfortunately they run into marines first and Zoro has to try and run backwards away from them as unsurprisingly they're none too keen to see the two of them.

Zoro squeaks and ducks around the corner with Sanji on his back, he breaks into a sprint that's exceedingly uncomfortable. Every fast footstep he takes sends a jolt of pain through Sanji's chest and the whole breathing problem is only getting worse. Zoro keeps running into marines every which way he goes, but somehow he seems to manage to keep turning left and ending up in different places, Sanji swears that he sees Zoro go left around a building four times and end up in a completely different part of town. After a few minutes the swordsman manages to lose them in the woods, but with no sign of their nakama in sight the only choice Zoro has is to run for the ship. Not that Sanji can help with that, Zoro's gotten so twisted and turned around that even Sanji has no idea where they are. He is fairly sure though that several clearly wrong turnings in the woods away from the ocean should not lead them to the Sunny in five minutes, especially when the trip into town took half an hour and they had to go up a mountain to do it.

"How the fuck? Did the mountain move or something? How did you even-?" He groans in bewilderment. Zoro apparently isn't feeling quite so guilty about stabbing him that he doesn't have time to give him an "I told you so" look.

"OI!" Zoro shouts, running onto the ship with Sanji limply sprawled over his back and shoulders. Sanji closes his eyes, he's so goddamn dizzy and Zoro shouting and running about isn't helping. The swordsman eventually dumps him on a bed, Sanji would guess in the infirmary, he can't really tell as he's too tired to open his eyes.

He can hear the sound of Zoro whining and snarling to himself as he crashes around the infirmary, apparently he's not calm enough to remember how to speak again yet, though he bets that if Zoro could he'd be swearing up a storm.

Zoro shakes him sharply and when that doesn't make Sanji open his eyes Zoro smacks him in the cheek, which startles him enough to open his eyes. Suddenly two dark shapes are thrust in front of his face, Sanji squints and blinks, trying to focus his eyes enough to see what they are. He frowns, they're… a really dark red, almost black, with labels on. Oh. Blood. Chopper keeps blood of all of the crew's types just for situations like these, Sanji's never fond of donating as he's not a huge fan of needles. He squints, the two bags Zoro has in his hands have Robin and Nami's names on respectively and neither of them are the same blood type as him. No one on the crew is the same as him.

He shakes his head feebly and Zoro snarls, dropping to the floor out of Sanji's line of sight. With exhaustion creeping into his bones Sanji lets his head drop to the side and sees Zoro crouched on the floor, surrounded by similar bags and desperately holding them up to his face. This is a really shitty time to be stuck with someone who can't read. Though what's Zoro going to do if he even does find one of Sanji's bags of blood? Does the swordsman even know what to do with it? Sanji sure as shit wouldn't know, he's fairly sure it's more complicated than just stabbing someone in the arm with one end and holding the other up. The swordsman looks like he could cry with frustration and Sanji's simply never seen him look like that before, helpless is never a word he's ever associated with Zoro. Hopeless sure but never helpless. But sat on the floor desperately searching through blood, knowing that he can't read and probably can't help anyway, but knowing that blood is precisely what he needs right now… well, helpless sums it up pretty well.

"Zoro, s… 's okay. 'S not your fault." He whispers, his speech slurring and his mouth horribly dry. Zoro hisses at him and continues ripping the bags out of the fridge. The back of his shirt is stained completely with Sanji's blood, he must have bled out loads on the way here.

Shit. What a shitty way to die. He knows what happened last time Zoro blamed himself for someone's death. He hopes the others manage to convince Zoro that this isn't his fault. He wonders vaguely if the swordsman will keep something of his, like that little girl's sword.


	8. Chapter 8

Sanji comes to with a god-awful headache and a mouth as dry as an Alabaster desert. He groans and feels the bed move under him and when he peels his eyes open and tilts his head up he's met with Zoro's wide open eyes. The swordsman is hunched over the side of Sanji's bed, his arms frozen folded on the top of the blanket, there are indentations of fabric in Zoro's cheek, as if he'd been sleeping only seconds ago.

"Sanji." His name falls breathlessly from Zoro's mouth and snaps Sanji into full wakefulness; it's the first time Zoro's said his name in so long.

"CHOPPER!" Zoro hollers at the door and snaps his gaze immediately back to Sanji as if he was afraid that something might happen if he wasn't looking.

"Ugh." He groans, touching his throbbing head and squeezing his eyes shut once more.

The little doctor bursts into the room right after, slamming the door against the wall and making Sanji's brain throb more from the noise.

"SANJI! You're awake! You're awake!" Chopper squeals happily rushing to him in one excited furry mass. He tries to laugh but it turns into coughing that changes Chopper's happy face to his serious doctor face. Within seconds there's a cold stethoscope pressing into the middle of his back, the coughing subsides and Chopper instructs him to breathe in and out as deeply as he can.

Sanji tries to breathe as evenly as possible but it's a little hard when Zoro's dark intense eyes keep flicking from him to Chopper and back again with a tense kind of concern. Sanji doesn't know what to make of this. He thought that Zoro hated him now, he'd been trying to fight off the worry that Zoro wasn't thinking of him as nakama anymore, but the anxiety of it had been robbing him of sleep and sanity combined. And Zoro had hardly helped that idea, not after he nearly broke Sanji's wrist. Oh and, you know, stabbed him through the chest.

But here Zoro was, wide eyed and anxious to see if he was okay. And how the fuck was he okay anyway? When the world had started slipping away he'd accepted that it may very well have been it for him. Zoro had been afraid and perhaps he could explain some of that to guilt but not all of it. The way Zoro had looked at him; it had been as if he couldn't imagine anything worse than Sanji dying. The way Zoro had touched him to comfort him and keep him still before he pulled the sword out… there was a gentle kindness there that had to be more than guilt, it just had to be.

"That sounds better, but no smoking for the next few days Sanji. That sword that went through you slid between your lungs and your diaphragm." Chopper explains, taking the ear buds of the stethoscope out of his ears.

"That explains why I found it so hard to breathe I guess." Sanji nods, stretching to look down at the place in his chest where the blade went in. It's stitched up as he expected it to be, but it seems to be covered in some clear shiny gunk. When he reaches up to gingerly touch it he finds that the clear stuff is hard to the touch, almost like…

"It's a kind of surgical glue. It's a new experiment, since people like you and Zoro seem so keen to wriggle out of bandages at the first opportunity. It'll fall off when you're all healed up, just don't pick at it." Chopper explains with an irritated look at Zoro and Sanji. Zoro looks offended, as if Sanji and Chopper don't know that the swordsman "loses" his bandages at the first opportunity.

"Gross." Sanji remarks, grimacing at it. It's probably gonna scar all nastily too now. Balls. He's not a huge fan of having scars, that whole "chicks dig scars" thing was a total lie, if it wasn't Zoro would be drowning in ladies and that clearly wasn't happening.

"How am I alive anyway? I passed out when Zoro was trying to read the blood bag things." He asks looking at Zoro.

"Ah, well when we got here he'd managed to get one pint of blood back into you. For a man not medically trained he didn't do a bad job, though your arm doesn't look too great." Chopper admits, running his little hooves over Sanji's elbow where the IV is currently plugged in. It's a little hard to miss now that he's looking at it but there's at least ten bruised up needle marks in his arm. He looks like he's somewhere between being a drug addict and a pincushion. Still, he's alive.

"How'd you manage to find my blood? You can't read." He frowns, looking at the swordsman. He sincerely hopes that Zoro didn't just see that he'd passed out and grabbed one at random to plug into him figuring that it couldn't get worse.

Zoro gives him a smug, though slightly tired grin and fishes something out of his pocket. It's a little laminated card, he flicks it around in his hand and holds it up to Sanji. It's got a picture of his face on and… hey! That came from his wallet!

"Oi! That's my fugu licence you fuck! Did you pickpocket me?!" He snaps, reaching to snatch the thing back only for Zoro to jerk it out of his reach. He can't buy the fish to make proper fugu dishes without that thing, the stuff can be deadly and it's the only proof he has that he knows what he's doing.

He swipes for it again but the swordsman adjusts his grip on the card and taps at Sanji's name with his index finger. Sanji pauses and understands. Zoro might not be able to read right now but he can still work out where Sanji's name should be and then match the shape of the word to what's on the bags of blood.

"Clever…" He says with a quiet smile. Zoro snorts and flicks the card back into Sanji's lap. He's clearly trying to imply that he doesn't give a shit if Sanji's impressed, but the little grin that Sanji can see around the edge of the hand that Zoro has on his mouth tells him all he needs to know.

"Zoro saved your life, he carried you all the way back here and gave you that first transfusion. He even managed to get us back to the ship quick enough to give you qualified medical care, even if Nami and Franky kind of disapproved with his method of getting their attention to the ship." Chopper says, giving Zoro a sidelong look.

Zoro grins and pulls out Sanji's lighter from his pocket.

"What the- did you just hold me upside down and shake me while I was unconscious or something? Give me that!" He snaps, snatching his lighter back from Zoro.

"What did you use this for anyway?" He questions, looking down at the shiny lighter in his palm.

"Needed… them to see." Zoro says cryptically.

"He set fire to the main sail, so we saw and came back." Chopper answers flatly, making Sanji's eyes bug out. Zoro did WHAT now?! Oh man, Zoro was lucky to be alive still, how the hell had Nami, Usopp and Franky not got together to murder him yet? Chopper ignores Sanji's horror and disbelief and goes back to peering at his wound instead.

"You need to be more careful Sanji, if that marine's sword had gone any higher it would have gone through your lungs or even your heart, and any lower and it would have completely severed the artery to your liver which it cut into this time." Chopper lectures him with his furry little frown.

"Marine." Sanji repeats blankly.

"Well, yeah. Was it someone else? I keep trying to ask Zoro but he just goes completely mute when I ask, though I guess it is a pretty stressful question." Chopper concedes looking at Zoro who goes instantly tight lipped.

"Yes, sorry. It was a marine, huge guy. I was chasing after Zoro and didn't see him in time and, well, you know the rest." He lies quickly with a suitably embarrassed smile.

"Well, you need to rest. I'm going to get you something to eat, come on Zoro we need to leave him in peace." Chopper says, hopping down onto the floor and trying to tug Zoro to come with him. The swordsman just scowls and stays put and after a few hopeless attempts Chopper just huffs in irritation.

"I know you've been waiting here for two days for him to wake up but I'm sure you can wait a while longer and let him rest!" Chopper frowns but Zoro simply growls and leans on Sanji's bed, clearly not intending on moving ever.

"Fine." Chopper huffs and trots out of the infirmary.

Zoro drops his head onto the bed sheet over Sanji's legs and doesn't move. Now that he's alone with Zoro he doesn't really… know what to say. And the longer that silence goes on the weirder it is.

An anxious sweat breaks out on his back, made worse when the swordsman lifts his head and looks at him. He needs to say something rather than just stare at him in the tensest silence ever.

Perhaps he's just overthinking this, maybe if he just goes with his gut and stops over thinking things he and Zoro can just… go back to normal or something.

"Hey, so, you kinda kebab-ed me there." He blurts out, making the swordsman scowl. Crap. That was not the right thing to say; evidently his gut is dumber at talking to Zoro than the rest of him which is quite an achievement.

Zoro looks a little morose and sighs, staring at the wall to Sanji's side.

"Sorry that was kind of… I'm not good at this." He groans, leaning back on the bed, hissing as the stitches on his back rub against the bed sheet.

"Lied." Zoro says after a moment or two looking right at Sanji. Sanji realises that he means to Chopper just now.

"Well you did save my life apparently, and you looked like you felt far more awful than you needed to already. Besides, like I said, it was my fault and they already think we're about to kill each other any day now without me mentioning that it wasn't a marine who stabbed me." He answers with a shrug that he soon regrets as the glue holding his stitches onto him pulls at his skin.

"No." Zoro says flatly.

The swordsman squeezes his eyes shut as his mouth works soundlessly, frustration runs across his features and he releases a stressed sounding growl.

"No what?" Sanji prompts, leaning up on his elbow to get a slightly more comfortable way of watching the marimo.

Zoro breathes a little more slowly and his left hand comes up to touch his mouth as his brow pinches with effort.

"I don't want-" Zoro starts, his finger taping on Sanji's leg. It all seems to derail though as whatever it was that Zoro didn't want fails to appear in his vocabulary. Zoro's dark eyes look up at him and he reaches over and rough fingers brush Sanji's neck. He freezes under Zoro's touch, not sure if Zoro is going to try to hurt him again or if the swordsman is being gentle once more. The marimo doesn't attempt to strangle him but just… stays there, with his fingers on Sanji's neck no doubt feeling every quick and slightly panicked breath and his thundering heartbeat. In fact he can feel his pulse thrumming against his skin just under Zoro's fingertips; the marimo is feeling for his pulse.

"I'm alive marimo, I'd be a pretty talkative corpse otherwise wouldn't I?" He points out with a smile.

"You would be." Zoro answers distractedly, as if nothing was ever wrong with his speech. The swordsman sighs again and turns away, leaning against the side of the bed. The idiot seems to be doing a lot of that now, sighing that is.

"You thought I was going to die." He says out loud. Zoro doesn't answer but his dark gaze sliding sideways towards Sanji gives him the answer he needs easy enough.

"Well, welcome to my fucking life, asshole." Sanji growls at the swordsman, angrily he continues.

"Only I had to wait a week for you to wake up, and I had to wash bits of your skull out of my clothes for days. I didn't even know if you would wake up or if you'd still be you when you did! So forgive me if I'm not hugely bothered about your stress levels!" He snaps.

He's irrationally angry all of a sudden. It's not like Zoro was expressing a horrible sentiment, that he's glad that Sanji is alive, really it should make Sanji happy. But it doesn't. What it does do it piss him off, it seems so unfair, so unjust that after all that he's been through fearing for Zoro's life that the swordsman can act so terribly unhappy about his near brush with death.

"YOU! AGH! Bled to death!" Zoro snarls at him, turning around and snapping at him with his hands clenched angrily at his side.

"Yeah! And you fell off of a cliff and landed on the only FUCKING ROCK on the whole goddamned beach! You looked like mincemeat when we picked you up!" He screams into Zoro's face, getting up on his knees to do it. How can Zoro possibly be like this, after what he'd put Sanji's through?!

"And then- and then you just didn't wake up! None of this usual Zoro bullshit where you nearly die and then try to work it off the next day you just… you just didn't do anything. Every day I'd just be waiting and nothing, every hour that went by I just thought you were really gonna leave me all alone out here." He says shakily, slumping back down onto the bed and clutching at the bed sheets at his sides.

"Alone? No." Zoro points out.

"No, fuck you! I would be alone! You know that!" He snarls up at the other man.

"Whenever there's a big ass fight Luffy hurls himself off at the biggest baddest motherfucker there, leaving you and me to take on everyone else and keep an eye on the rest of our nakama. It's on us to keep them safe, to keep people in Usopp's range and make sure that Robin and Nami don't get outnumbered, we have to make sure Chopper and Brook don't get cut off from everyone or that Franky isn't setting fire to shit too close to anyone else. That's our job and if you leave me then I have to do it alone!" He argues, feeling a pain in his chest flare up that has nothing to do with the blade that was so recently sheathed there.

"If I can't trust you to stay alive then I've got to protect you as much as I would them, only you don't know how fragile you are now. Chopper said that… he said that I nearly killed you. That if you hit your head you'd die like that." He explains, snapping his finger to emphasise his point.

"No! Franky made-!" The swordsman argues back and raps on the back of his head with his knuckles. The metal makes a dull thunk when he does it. Sanji considers that for a moment or two.

"I didn't dream you knocking a crater in that wall with your head and not even blinking did I?" Sanji asks with a frown.

"No. I'm not weak." The swordsman replies snippily.

"But Chopper said… I never fought back because I thought it'd kill you. I thought I'd nearly killed you on the beach! How was I supposed to react? You don't know what that's like!" Sanji exclaims.

Zoro gives him a flat unimpressed look and pokes Sanji in the chest, just above his new stitches. Sanji looks down.

"Okay, so maybe you have some idea of how I felt when I thought I nearly killed you." He concedes.

Zoro rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath and with a giant sigh sits down next to Sanji on the bed, slouching back on the bed until his head hits one of the metal pipes along the wall that rings metallically when he does. The swordsman shakes his head and rubs at his ear, Sanji supposes that the noise must sound quite loud in the swordsman's hollow head.

"You're really not gonna die from that?" He asks, leaning to the side and cautiously reaching to touch Zoro's head where scalp meets metal.

"Nah." Zoro shrugs, tilting his head slightly to let Sanji feel the plate again.

"I will turn Chopper into venison stew for this, you've no idea how much sleep I've lost thinking I nearly killed you. And I wasn't gonna fight you, no matter what you did to me, I'd rather you broke my wrist and hated me than died." He scowls. He doesn't care how cute Chopper is, he's gonna lodge his foot so far up that reindeer's ass that his tongue will have tread marks on it.

"Heard you… at night." Zoro mutters quietly.

"Oh." Is all that Sanji can say. Well, he can just die of mortification now, Zoro heard him having nightmares, great.

Zoro's fingers brush his wrist, tentative and curious. The swordsman's mouth is set in a thin and worried line.

"It's fine now, really." He shrugs and flexes it to prove his point.

"Sorry." The swordsman says quietly, his thumb sliding up the smooth skin on the inside of Sanji's wrist.

Sanji looks at Zoro. The other man looks regretful but not entirely guilty; as if he wishes he hadn't hurt him but felt like he had a good reason for doing so at the time. Whatever, he's just speculating now. He can't know why Zoro did what he did, he can take a damn good guess of course but until the swordsman can or chooses to articulate his reasoning then it's pure guesswork. The only concrete answer that he has from Zoro is that he's sorry.

He rolls his fingers in a little wave, he's lucky that nothing broke but again perhaps that was deliberate. Shit he's speculating again.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too." He mutters, leaning back against the wall next to Zoro.

Something tense and curled in his chest relaxes and Sanji feels all of the anguish that he's felt about fighting with Zoro, really fighting with him, just dissolve in one go. Zoro's not mad at him, they're okay. Zoro's hand slides from his and Sanji instantly misses the contact, he wants to reach back out and wind his fingers through Zoro's. He wants to pull the marimo close and kiss him and just… god. This is awful. Zoro's forgiven him for their misunderstanding about his apparent likelihood of imminent death but what will the swordsman do if he discovers how he really feels?

He can't tell him, just can't. If he does Zoro might cut him out again and he just can't bear that. Not again. He looks over to the marimo, who is leaning against the wall with his hands clasped in the arch of his neck and the back of his head, his plate is still pressing against the wall though and even now that sets him a little on edge. He shoves down that instinct telling himself that he was mistaken, or more accurately misinformed and he needs to have words with Chopper about that, but he can do that later.

As for now he needs to go out a little further to repair this messed up situation between himself and Zoro.

"I didn't think you were weak ever, I'm just kinda shit at…" He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. It had been a valiant start if only he'd thought through what he was going to say first it would have been perfect.

"Talking?" Zoro offers, looking over at him with a wry smirk.

"Shut your fucking face, at least you've got an excuse to be shit at this, what am I supposed to do? I mean, it's not like I'm used to actually thinking about you as having real feelings, this crap was easier when you were just my dick of a nakama that annoyed me. So how am I supposed to tell you that I made the choice that I'd rather let you break my wrist and snap my fingers than risk killing you?!" He shouts and a few seconds pass before he realises that in just bitching about that there he's just kind of… told him.

Zoro is watching him with wide surprised eyes and Sanji squirms a little and wishes that he could just eat up everything he's just said. Does Zoro have to really keep staring at him like that? It's making him seriously uncomfortable. The more the marimo gawps at him the more Sanji's skin itches and the dumber he feels, what if this makes Zoro realise that he feels stupid emotional, hormonal and inappropriate things about him?

"Don't… don't look at me like that you shitty bastard. Or don't you remember doing the same shitty thing for me? Cause I still think my ribs are cracked from that shitty ghost boat when you stopped me from fighting that motherfucking bear bastard by jamming your sword into my lungs." He points out, trying not to look at Zoro.

Goddamnit, he needs to work on not having such an obvious verbal tic of profusely swearing when he's stressed. His ears are burning so he's sure that his face must be red too. To try and hide it at least a little he scowls at the floor, though he nearly jumps a foot in the air when Zoro pulls at his hand again.

"Uh-uh, no. Different." Zoro frowns, tapping his finger on the inside of Sanji's wrist.

"My life… your… shit- your… agh!" the swordsman hisses, scrunching up his forehead in frustration. But he knows what Zoro's trying to say.

"Dream?" He suggests.

"Yes, green." Zoro agrees and Sanji gets to watch with a smirk as Zoro realises that the word he just thought he said and the word he just actually said weren't the same.

Only… only he's fucking stupid because he can't stop having feelings for Zoro and right now on the top of the list of things he really doesn't need to subject himself to is being half naked on a bed with Zoro with the swordsman's fingers on his mouth. He doesn't need Zoro's dark eyes watching his mouth like that, especially when the more rebellious parts of his hormonal system hiss at him to grab Zoro's body and fall backwards on the bed, pulling the swordsman on top of him.

"Cook?" Zoro prompts him, his gaze flicking to Sanji's eyes now.

Sanji tries to marshal his scattered brain together enough to form a coherent lie.

"Shut it, I guess the blood loss is still… messing with my head… or something." He half lies. Sure his brain is starved of blood but that's not really because he's low on the stuff, more because it's… gone low. He shifts a little uncomfortably and wills his circulation to stop trying to get him killed because one sword through the chest a week is more than enough thank you very much.

Fuck, now what was that word that Zoro wanted to learn?

"Dream." He repeats, as it comes to him. He decidedly does not focus on Zoro's fingers touching his lips, and he doesn't stare as Zoro's eyes flutter shut as he tries to visualise the pattern.

"Dream…" Zoro murmurs, touching his own mouth. Sanji forces himself to remember what they were arguing about and try to steer the conversation back that way. Deep breaths, he can do this.

"When you tried to give you your life you were giving up your dream as well, you can't be a dead swordsman. Though… I guess there's Brook, but that's kind of a one person deal, it's not like you could have done that. So you were giving up your dream too." Sanji points out reasonably, though his argument is swiftly devolving into rambling.

Goddamnit, why is Zoro making him so nervous? Usually he's able to keep his cool enough around the marimo but if he keeps up this babbling nonsense whilst blushing like a thirteen year old girl then even someone as terminally stupid as Zoro is going to figure him out.

Zoro gives him a thoughtful look and quirks his head slightly in a way that reminds Sanji all too much of a cat watching a particularly interesting mouse.

"But… dead." He argues back pointing to himself, he then turns his finger at Sanji and shakes his head.

"I'd have to live with giving up my dream, or at least the risk of not being able to cook when I get there. Yeah, I know, and?" He challenges, because he'd been willing to live with that decision that was the whole point.

"Different." Zoro shrugs and leans back against the wall again. Zoro looks like he's thinking something serious but for the first time in a little while Sanji had no idea even of the vague topic of what it is. Whatever the muscle-head is thinking seems to be giving him quite the mental puzzle, though with how dumb Zoro is that could be anything.

For a few moments it's just a quiet peaceful silence in the room, one that reminds Sanji of when Zoro was first cooking with him. He misses that.

"If… if we're okay again, you wanna cook with me some more? I mean, I know that Franky and Brook are helping you with that music stuff but-" Sanji flounders.

"Yeah, cook." Zoro answers and hops up off of the bed. Sanji grins to himself but manages to more or less kill the dopey expression by the time Zoro turns around to look at him.

"Oi, help me up. My head is killing me and I need a drink, I also need to have words with the emergency rations about telling the truth." He says, holding out his hand. The swordsman grins at him and tugs him off of the bed.

Sanji leans over Zoro's shoulder as the other man helps him walk, neither of them says anything about it and Sanji likes to think that it's because they both have a little more class than that to mock the other when they genuinely need help. That's a better interpretation than Zoro just can't talk.

Despite the dramatic nature of Sanji's injury and the after effects of being blood deprived for a little bit, it's really one of the least unpleasant injuries he's ever had. Zoro's swords are always clean and sharp as anything so the thing sliced through him like one of Sanji's best knives through butter. The stitches itch but then they always do, he resists the temptation to scratch them as they walk up to the deck.

His hip bumps against Zoro's as they climb the last few steps up to the door to the deck, Zoro pauses and shifts Sanji's arm a little so that he can open the door. The stretch pulls at his stitches unpleasantly and he can't help but hiss, it's more than made up for by the conciliatory look that the swordsman shoots him though.

They step out onto the bright sunlight of the deck and the shock of the light makes Sanji scrunch his eyes up. He supposes that it's been a little while since he's his eyes have seen actual sunlight. As his eyes adjust to the brightness and Zoro walks him through onto the deck several of his nakama appear before him. Franky's coif blocks some of the light and Sanji can focus a little better.

He's surprised to see a scowl on Franky's face but as soon as the shipwright makes eye contact with Sanji his expression softens and he smiles.

"Hey there buddy, we were all worried about you. Good to see you up and about so soon." Franky smiles at him and rubs Sanji's hair before walking off.

Sanji shoots Zoro a quizzical look.

"Mad at me." The swordsman mumbles by way of explanation.

Oh yeah, Zoro set fire to the ship. Sanji's eyes look past the excited Usopp who's just come over to say how happy he is that Sanji's alive, he tunes the sharpshooter out a little as he looks at the mast. He can see dark scorch marks on the cross beam that the replacement sail is hanging off of, the flames must have reached pretty high before the others got here and managed to put it out.

It's surprising really, Zoro was just as devastated as the rest of them when Merry… when Merry burned. So it's hard to imagine that Zoro risked Sunny seriously catching fire, but he did… for him. Sanji's chest feels tight in a way that's got nothing to do with the hole pierced through it. He shakes the feeling off and tunes back into Usopp.

"-really went right through then huh?" Usopp exclaims, looking right at the healing gash in Sanji's chest.

"Yeah. It didn't hurt too bad though, it was a sharp sword, I didn't even feel it go in." Sanji says softly, he can't ignore the soft exhale from Zoro at his side.

"I'm glad you're okay Sanji, you looked like a corpse when we got here." Usopp smiles at him.

"Me too." He agrees. He doesn't want to say but he feels a little woozy now that he's been standing up for a while, he leans a little more of his weight on Zoro whilst he tries to get his bearings.

Zoro tuts at him and pulls him off to the side, the swordsman pulls him over to the edge of the grass deck and gently lowers him down so that he's sitting on the soft green grass in the warm sun with his back resting up against a wooden wall. His stitches pull uncomfortably at first and he has to shift about a bit before everything seems to settle down.

Nami saunters over to him, her feminine hips swaying hypnotically as she does so. She smiles softly at him and crouches down next to him.

"Are you feeling okay Sanji?" She asks with concern pinching her lovely brow.

"Ah, Nami-san is so sweet when she's concerned." Sanji smiles happily, "I feel okay, I just needed to get out of that bed was all."

"SANJI! What are you doing out of bed?!" Chopper's voice shrieks across the deck, making Sanji jump and his stitches twang again.

"I'll let you tell Chopper that then." Nami smirks at him and ducks out of view as the reindeer charges up to Sanji. Chopper reaches for him, clearly intends on picking him up and dragging him back to the infirmary, but Sanji quite likes it here in the sun near Zoro and the rest of his nakama. He doesn't kick Chopper, but he sticks his foot out and shoves it in the reindeer's chest to keep him at leg length.

"Cool it." He says flatly.

"You need to be back in bed! You only just woke up from being unconscious for two days!" The doctor squeals, shifting into a bigger form to try to get more arm reach.

Sanji shifts his weight onto his hands, leaving his hips free to lever and shove Chopper back sharply with his foot. The reindeer bounces across the lawn.

"Forgive me if I don't trust your medical opinion!" He hisses, letting himself back down onto the lawn with a hidden shock of pain.

Chopper looks at him wide eyed and confused from where he sits sprawled on the grass.

"I'm your doctor! You need to go back to bed! You could faint from the blood loss or rip your stitches open at this rate!" Chopper yells at him, leaping to his feet furiously. Zoro is watching the whole exchange with interest and even the rest of their nakama are starting to gather around curiously.

"The same way that the slightest shock to Zoro's head could kill him you mean? That's what you told me." He accuses with a growl. Zoro quirks an interested eyebrow at that.

"He could!" Chopper protests sharply.

"Oh really? Because I saw Zoro bust through a wall with the back of his head and he seems perfectly fine to me." Sanji argues back pointedly. This time Chopper's accusing gaze flicks to the swordsman.

"ZORO! How could you?!" The doctor squeals, clutching at his hat in horror.

"He's fine, as long as he hit it with the plate his brain won't have any problems. I built that plate strong enough so that nothing shy of a cannon ball right to the back of the head will even dent it, if something breaks, make it better than before, that's my philosophy." Franky grins slapping Zoro on the shoulder.

"NO! The brain can't take that kind of trauma, especially an injured one like Zoro's!" Chopper argues with Franky.

"He's fine!" Franky insists.

Sanji shakes his head despairingly and notices Zoro's eyes flick over to him. The swordsman looks as if he's starting to understand why Sanji was as concerned as he was.

"I don't care!" Chopper bawls eventually, bursting into tears.

"I can't keep putting you all back together, one time I'm not going to be able to! Even if there's a chance that hitting your head again could kill you, you should avoid it! I don't want you to diiiie!" Chopper wails, clutching at Zoro's leg.

The swordsman suddenly looks infinitely guilty, crouching down and cuddling the sobbing reindeer close. The marimo has always had a soft spot for their little doctor but right now it's not a train that Sanji can say that he shares especially.

"I think I might be able to see where this problem started. If Zoro thought he was invincible and Sanji thought that the slightest touch would kill him, then no wonder he wouldn't fight back." Robin comments, having come over earlier to view the commotion. Sanji tries to resist swooning; his beautiful Robin is always so clever.

"Oi, Chopper." Luffy calls from above Sanji. The cook looks up to see their captain leaning over the railing above Sanji's head, looking down on the whole scene. Despite their captain's dumb behaviour, when it came to situations where their nakamaship was in real danger or if something serious was happening with the crew, he was pretty switched on and protective. The little doctor looks up at Luffy with tearful eyes from his place buried in Zoro's chest.

"We're all strong, and you're the best doctor. We trust you, so you should trust us. If you'd trusted Sanji to be sensible then Zoro wouldn't have nearly broken his hand to prove a point. Sanji got hurt because you didn't trust him, you risked his dream." Luffy says, his voice deadly serious and his eyes piercing under the dark shadow of his famous hat.

Sanji's skin crawls. He hates that expression and is incredibly glad that Luffy is not pointing it his way, it's Luffy's seriously angry face and it means business. Chopper seems to sense this too and tears up even more, floods of fat tears streaming down his fur.

"I just wanted to keep them safe." Chopper whines pathetically, now even Sanji feels sorry for him.

"They're pirates, they can do that on their own. If you want safe then you can get off the ship. Or you trust you nakama and stay here. Which will it be?" Luffy challenges sternly. Sanji's jaw drops at that, Luffy can't be serious can he? But Luffy's face tells him that he's deadly serious, evidently Chopper realises that too because guilty brown eyes turn on Sanji.

"I'm sorry Sanji, I should have… I should have trusted you, all of you." Chopper adds, flicking his gaze to Franky and Zoro as well.

"It's okay Chopper, really. Forget about it." Sanji says quickly, wanting this awful guilty feeling to just be behind them all.

Zoro doesn't say anything but instead pulls Chopper close to him again, nuzzling his face into the reindeer's fur and whining quietly. Franky too pats the top of Chopper's hat, also seeming keen to get the whole fight over with.

"Great! So, Sanji, when can you make me meat again?" Luffy grins down at him, all seriousness and scariness vanished from his face as if it was never there. It weirds him out a little.

"Uh… Well, I'll see how I feel but Zoro agreed to help me cook again. So even if I feel bad I can make him do all of the hard work, so probably dinner." He answers with a little thought. He knows full well that Chopper doesn't approve of this plan but the little doctor isn't likely to kick up a fuss about any of his or Zoro's bending of medical rules right now, not after that. Sure, the reindeer would soon be back to ordering them all around when it comes to their health, but for a little while they were good.

He looks across to Zoro and sees the swordsman smiling at him. Not a mocking or teasing smile, not a smug grin just… just a smile and it makes Sanji's heart flutter to see it.

"Yes! Sanji's cooking!" Luffy hollers excitedly, throwing his hands up in the air and momentarily distracting Sanji from looking at Zoro. When he looks back Zoro has looked away and if it wasn't for his still thrumming pulse Sanji would think that he'd imagined that smile.


	9. Chapter 9

There is something namelessly comforting that Sanji finds about being in the four walls of his kitchen that goes beyond just mere familiarity. Somehow within the confines of his cooking space the world seems a lot more manageable. Everything is in its place and all is right.

Or at least it should be.

He appreciates that he's been out of commission for a little while what with his injured wrist and then getting stabbed through the chest and as such the rest of their nakama have had to fill in his place and cook instead. It's a gallant thing to do and Sanji appreciates it vastly.

Really.

He is certainly not by any means looking at his disarrayed and disorganised knife rack and clutching at his hair nearly hard enough to yank it out.

Ok, so maybe he is freaking out a tiny bit. The kitchen is his solitary place to think and to be, as Robin put it, zen. He can't do that if people have been in here and messed things up. He pulls the knives out of the rack and spots a little grime on one of them and scuffs on another that suggest that they've been improperly used. In a desperate show of paranoia he holds each one up to the light, inspecting it for damage or mess and vowing never to let another living soul in here.

Zoro huffs and takes them away from him, pushing him gently away from his place at the counter top as Zoro starts to clean them and inspect the blades on his behalf. Sanji rifles through the cutlery drawer and finds that even the knives and forks are the wrong way around in the drawer as well. He sharply rearranges them, he's never ever letting anyone else in here. Zoro slides the knife rack back across the counter to him, all in their proper order, missing only the one that Sanji had identified as suffering minor damage.

Sanji desperately inspects the stores and tries to account for whether anything has been lost, mangled or used more than it should have been.

The sound of Sanji's knife sharpening block grabs his attention away from his current task and Sanji actually looks, really looks around and sees Zoro. The swordsman is standing in his kitchen looking every bit at home as he sharpens Sanji's knife back to perfection. He doesn't seem to notice Sanji's stare as he examines the blade this way and that in the light before deeming it complete, washing it, gently drying it off and sliding it back into its proper place in the rack. The place that he somehow knew without Sanji having to tell him.

He'd been all ready to kick the next intruder into his kitchen out but he'd not even properly clocked that Zoro was in his space. It was almost as if he completely belonged there.

It's a stupid assertion of course seeing as there was barely any time since Zoro had nearly straight up murdered him. The two of them aren't exactly on stable ground here. Sanji rests his head against the pantry door and continues watching Zoro easily move through the kitchen, setting things in their right place as if it's the most natural thing in the world to do.

It's not really a fair accusation to make.

Zoro didn't mean to nearly kill him. In fact he went through hell and nearly burnt down their home in an attempt to save his life. Most of their miscommunications had been down to bad information from Chopper, something that deep down Sanji still hasn't 100% forgiven him for, even if he is about at 99% forgiven due to the sheer awkwardness of the apology scene that Luffy had forced out of all of them.

Still, with all of that said there is zero reason for him to feel so normal with Zoro in his kitchen. There is even less reason for him to be standing there like a complete brain dead moron just staring at the guy. Seriously, he's only just got Zoro back as nakama, he's in no way willing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by letting the other man realise just what it is that Sanji feels, which he will if he keeps staring at him like a complete moron.

He should say something.

Sanji opens his mouth.

...he's got nothing.

Zoro glances over and seeing Sanji standing there with his mouth open like some kind of shitty fish. Quick! Think of something!

"So! I heard you sing before." Sanji blurts out and instantly regrets it because, oh you know, he'd heard Zoro singing by sort of stalking him around. Good job.

Zoro's reaction is enough to distract him though. It's like someone turned on a light behind Zoro's skin, changing his usual tan complexion bright red almost immediately. The flush spreads all over his ears, up to his hairline, everywhere! Suddenly feeling more at home Sanji's shitty smug grin comes out to play as he steps forward into Zoro's space, the challenge as old and familiar to him now as breathing.

"Oh wow, I've embarrassed the little marimo huh? I could pinch your cheeks, your blush is so cute." He teases, reaching out to do just that.

Zoro snarls and mangles out some sound before darting back in a flash too fast for Sanji to see. There's a flash of silver in his hand and suddenly Wado is out and in his hand.

"Not a threat that I think you'll follow through with somehow." Sanji says confident that the very last thing Zoro wants to do is to push another sword through his chest. He steps forward again and bats Zoro's already lowering sword away with his left hand, his right reaching up to Zoro's cheek.

For the sake of embarrassing Zoro he actually does pinch the scarlet flesh there, much to the swordsman's whined dismay. Sanji laughs out loud, he knows that his time to tease Zoro like this with no repercussions is short and will only last about as long as Zoro's oppressive guilt does, so he's going to get all of the mileage that he can out of it.

"Shit cook." Zoro manages with a snarl, pushing Sanji's hand away from his face.

"But look at that blush! Are you gonna sing for me marimo?" Sanji giggles and, holy shit that really was a giggle. He didn't mean to do that. He's meant to be teasing Zoro, not finding him actually adorable. Abort mission!

Zoro seems to sense weakness and parries back. Pulling Sanji's arm to the side and pushing back into his personal space so that their faces are only a fist or two's distance apart.

"Why? Sing to you?" Zoro challenges, his eyes drilling straight into Sanji's. Sanji panics for a second. Zoro is challenging him, his incorrect grammar and missing words aside he's asking mockingly if Sanji wants to hear him sing then, since he thinks it's so good.

Denying it will mean that Zoro will win, the only way to not lose is to play and push this strange game of chicken further.

"Well, you do sound lovely." He purrs at Zoro.

Zoro goes redder, not that Sanji had thought that was even possible.

A lone thought sidles sideways into Sanji's brain and awkwardly coughs as it makes itself known, almost as if it's ashamed to be turning up so late at all. That thought is the question 'is this flirting with Zoro?'.

The two of them hastily get some space between each other and both do a damn fine job of looking at anything in the room that isn't each other.

"So, um. Let me just get the..." Sanji trails off turning back into the cupboard to hide his completely dumb behaviour. He decides that he needs the bag of dried fruit at the top of the pantry, he wants to make a fruity curry sauce and getting the ingredients for that will distract his mind long enough for him to forget that he was just flirting with Zoro. Good lord is he dumb. He'd only just been thinking about the fact that he shouldn't let Zoro in on this... thing that he has for him and then he goes and flirts with him like that.

He stretches his arms up for the bag, rising on tiptoes. He feels the glue in his chest pull for a second before his lungs cramp and feel as if they shrink to half their size, as if something has snapped and shot them up in his chest like sad deflated balloons.

He makes a pathetic 'hurk' sound and tumbles forward into the shelves, smacking his forehead on one as he does so. His hands wind around his sides as he tries to wrench in desperate breaths and draw air into his body.

"Sanji!" Zoro yelps, appearing at his side and shoving a hand up the back of his shirt to check on the cut that Zoro put clean through him.

"I'm... I'm ok." Sanji wheezes out. He touches his own hand to the cut on his front, to the smooth warm glue on his chest. There's no bleeding, it was just a tug of the wound, that's all. He's fine.

His breathing levels out back to normal levels and even when Zoro steps back to let him get some space he still lingers close by, as if he expects Sanji to come down with a case of the vapours and fall over again.

"Can you get that? The big plastic bag." Sanji says helpfully, gesturing into the pantry as he leans against the door trying to stop himself from messing up his breathing even more. He's more or less breathing right again but he can't help but feel like something is still off kilter, as if he's about to hiccup and rip something.

Zoro emerges with the plastic bag and dumps it onto the counter top. He gestures at the opposite one that makes up the kitchen island and then to Sanji.

"Sanji. Get." Zoro says sternly and points.

Sanji frowns, there's nothing on that countertop that Zoro could want and he gets the feeling that Zoro isn't asking for Sanji to give him something more like... doing something. Zoro huffs and before Sanji can react Zoro's hands are on his hips and he's being lifted into the air like he weighs almost nothing.

Sanji most certainly does not let out a startled squeal at this and his face doesn't go red when one of those hands slides down over his ass and onto his thigh to pull his leg up as Zoro shoves him on top of the counter top until he's sitting on it.

"Stay. Tell me what... what to uh..." Zoro shuts his eyes and snaps his fingers, the word clearly on the tip of his tongue.

"How to cook." Zoro settles on and his expression brokers no argument.

Sanji is too busy trying to force the pandora's box in his mind shut again as images and fantasies of Zoro picking him up like that and pressing him into any flat surface escape one after the other, running riot behind his eyes.

"Sure." He forces out in a strained voice.

"Probably for the best if I just... stay here." Sanji agrees, his heart hammering so hard that he think he might faint if he moved again anyway.

Zoro nods clearly pleased and washes his hands, ready to start cooking and obeying Sanji's every command. There's a thrill of power that rushes through Sanji at that idea and he latches onto the idea of bossing Zoro around in order to make the rest of his mind and body quieten down. He has Zoro back now, he's not going to ruin this again.

A/N: so. It's been like... a year. .

Sorry about that. A whole shitload of stuff has happened to me since this fic died on me, including me spending the last nine months or so fighting a clinical depression. I'm still not out of it and may never be but I love writing too much to let this thing take that from me too. I love this fic and now that Love Me Dead is coming to a close I wanted to get back to it. I hope some of you out there are still interested in this fic and want to see it finished as much as I do. There's more to come so stay tuned. 3


	10. Chapter 10

At first Sanji was against the idea of Zoro doing all of the picking and carrying around the kitchen, getting all of the ingredients and equipment out or even cooking if Sanji ever got short of breath. Sanji changed his mind on that right about the time that he had to ask Zoro to get the kebab skewers from the very back of the cupboard which meant lots of Zoro bent over rummaging and a fantastic view of his ass.

"No more in here!" Zoro yells out from inside the cupboard.

"No, no, I swear there's another one back there. Maybe under something?" Sanji suggests, tilting his head sideways a little as the fabric over Zoro's perfect ass stretches a little more. Zoro grunts and his back arches a little as he lifts up something inside the cupboard. His shirt slides up his back a little and Sanji can see the dimples above Zoro's hip bones on his back, just where he'd rest his hands if he put them on him.

Zoro pulls out of the cupboard and huffs in irritation, dusting a cobweb off of his hair. Before Sanji can come up with another excuse he kneels down on the floor and presses his chest nearly to the floor as he looks back in the same cupboard on the lowest shelf, his butt high in the air.

Sanji bites into his lip to contain the whine within him. Those trousers of Zoro's are sinfully tight across his behind now, almost as tight as the front of Sanji's own are getting. Zoro's not as flexible as him so whilst Sanji would just let his supple back take all the bending Zoro has to instead move his legs. That is just what Zoro does as he tries to get further into the cupboard. As he reaches forward a little more his knees splay apart from one another and Sanji brings his hand to his mouth, biting into a knuckle and imagining Zoro doing just that on a bed with Sanji behind him. As Zoro's hips sink closer to the floor he imagines Zoro naked and on top of a mattress just like that. He'd be tired as they both get closer to finishing, pleasure filled limbs growing heavy as Zoro's chest presses into the mattress and his moans muffled in the sheets as Sanji brings him closer to-

"No more fucking in there!" Zoro snaps, sitting up and snarling at Sanji who has to quickly shake himself out of his guilty daze.

"Uh, how many do you have again?" Sanji asks, innocently placing his arms between his legs where he sits on the counter top.

Zoro grumbles and stands up, swiping the already found skewers off of the side and counting them quietly.

"Twenty!" Zoro insists, waving them in Sanji's face.

"Oh, uh. Well, you said eighteen before. Twenty is the right number, you got them all." Sanji lies shamelessly.

"I SAID- ARGH." Zoro snarls and slams them into the counter, stalking off to the fridge to grab the meat. Sanji bites into his lip and sighs softly to himself, sure, he's going to hell for this but it'd be worth it for a view like that. Goddamn.

Zoro rests his fists on his hips and squints at Sanji suspiciously as if he's sure that Sanji is up to no good in some form, just that he's not quite worked out how so yet.

"What?" Sanji asks innocently as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Zoro huffs and removes the meat to put it on the counter.

"Ok, so, I'm going to need a bunch of herbs for this. They're all stacked in the vertical lockers on the inside of that cupboard door." Sanji says, gesturing to where the herbs are supposed to be, he hopes for his mental wellbeing that they're still there. If they've been moved too he may just lose his marbles.

Thankfully Zoro opens the door to reveal all of his dried herbs neatly bottled and held in racks in the door that prevents them from escaping and smashing whenever the ship rolls in the waves.

"Ok, so this is lamb, so you want the rosemary. Grab that." He instructs.

Zoro scowls at the little labelled bottles so hard that a vein pops up on his forehead and he looks about ready to have some kind of brain aneurism from trying so hard to suddenly learn how to read again.

"Alright stop that before you give yourself a stroke, you need to learn how to read again. Grab a few of those and come here." Sanji says, gesturing to the rack.

"Ok, ok." Zoro grumbles back and selects a few random herbs from the door and closes it again before returning to Sanji, something that makes Sanji feel a swell of happiness. Zoro doesn't just leave shit lying around and let doors just hang open, unlike certain other people on the ship.

Sanji settles four of the bottles on the side by him and pops the top on the one in his hand. He takes a long deep inhale of it. It smells like cool refreshing drinks in summer, a tingling on his tongue and working on desserts at Zeff's side when it was so hot outside that the sweat ran down his back in rivers. All of those memories flash through his mind in the instant that he opens the bottle and breathes.

"You know scent is a really powerful memory trigger, maybe if you learn the smell of them at the same time as reading the word and hearing it said then you might learn it." Sanji suggests thoughtfully as the idea occurs to him. He'd originally just planned to show Zoro the letters and sound them out until he got the word, but that's a much better idea. Zoro doesn't seem to think so however as he's got a huge frown on his face.

"So I can just read herbs?" The swordsman says derisively.

"No, ass face. I'm thinking it'll work the same way that your singing and learning to listen has done, you learn enough stuff and the rest starts coming back on its own." He snaps back, smacking Zoro in the shoulder.

"So come on." He urges, pressing the bottle into Zoro's hand.

Zoro's fingers wrap around it but he doesn't move to do anything else. Zoro's golden eyes fix dubiously on Sanji's blue ones and so Sanji puts his hands around Zoro's again and pops off the lid of the herbs and lifts it to Zoro's face. He hears Zoro breathe in and watches as his eyes widen.

"Oh! Oh I know this it's- it's- AGH. Uh, cold, like... use it for..." Zoro trails off frustratedly. He doesn't know the word but Sanji is at least pleased to see Zoro trying to talk around it like he's supposed to do. Zoro frustratedly mimes brushing his teeth, trying to get the message across.

"Shit it's right... can feel the word just..." Zoro hisses, pacing on the floor.

"Read this then." Sanji suggests, turning the bottle to face Zoro, so that his handwritten sticker on it is visible. Zoro glances at it and then looks away as if it's pointless.

"Mint! It's MINT!" Zoro yelps suddenly, jumping as if the word had surprised him too.

"Yeah!" The cook laughs happily.

"Did I...?" Zoro frowns, looking at the bottle and peering at the letters written on there in Sanji's own messy scrawl.

"I know it said mint now..." Zoro continues.

"Says, you know it says mint. Present tense." Sanji corrects him simply.

"Says." Zoro shrugs as if it was nothing. Sanji smiles a little to himself, neither of them made a big deal about him being wrong, it's ok for Zoro to make mistakes and so he doesn't panic when he does.

"But you don't know if you're reading it or remembering what you just said." the cook says, voicing Zoro's point.

"Yeah." The swordsman agrees with a slight nod.

"Well, have a read of the rest of them. Smell them, see if anything comes to you." he recommends, pushing the small assortment of bottles over to Zoro.

Sanji watches in interest as Zoro picks the bottles up one by one and opens them, sniffing each of them before recapping them. He reads over the labels, or at least looks at them and even runs his thumb over the letters written there as if they might somehow reveal themselves to him in the same way that feeling Sanji's lips out before had.

It's kind of strange how Zoro seems to be such a tactile learner, goodness knows how many times people had talked to him after his head injury but Zoro had only got the hang of speaking and then understanding by feeling the words come out of Sanji's lips. It hadn't been enough to see them or hear them, he had to feel it. Zoro had always seemed like one who just simply watched things, he was the silent observer often in fights and when Zoro got involved shit got real pretty quick. If Sanji had been forced to guess before he would have taken a stab at saying that he was a visual person. That said though, Zoro could almost always be found physically training his skills, assuming that he wasn't sleeping of course, so he was physical enough.

Hm. Was there some way that Sanji could use that for this?

"Hey, give me your hand." Sanji asks suddenly, drawing a confused look from Zoro who slowly moves his hand with a bottle in it over to Sanji as if he's offering him the bottle itself.

The cook rolls his eyes and opens Zoro's hand and removes the bottle. After settling it gently on the side, careful not to spill its contents or damage it, he unfurls Zoro's fingers and holds his palm flat and face up. He runs his finger across Zoro's skin on his palm and feels the hard calloused places where his swords have worn on him. Even with his tough hands Sanji is surprised to note that they're not rough. The callouses are cared for and smoothly blend into the softer surrounding skin, they feel natural, not ripped up. The palms and indeed the fingers of Zoro's hands are crossed all over with hundreds of scars of varying sizes from presumably his own swords and those of his opponents, as well as the general injuries one sustains on a working ship. Sanji of course rarely uses his hands on the rope of the ship, preferring to keep his work to the less hand intensive kind, something that his nakama allow out of respect for his treasured hands.

He shakes himself from his musings and starts to trail his finger across Zoro's palm, making out the letters of the alphabet whilst he quietly speaks them aloud to Zoro. In his peripheral vision he can see that Zoro's eyes have drifted shut and he's gently mouthing along with Sanji, hopefully converting shape to memory.

It all seemed to be going so well until Zoro started snickering softly.

"What?" Sanji growls as Zoro struggles to keep in more sniggers and laughter, failing more and more as Sanji's unimpressed silence stretches out.

"So serious!" Zoro laughs, clearly teasing him.

"I was trying to help you, you utter asshole." Sanji snaps back, shoving Zoro's hand away from him in childish spite.

"No, no, sorry. Just- pft." Zoro breaks off in sniggering agains, apparently the look on Sanji's face far too funny for him to contain himself.

"I wanna learn, really." Zoro insists, a little more sincerely, though there is still more than just a trace of a smirk lingering around his mouth. Sanji huffs, it is a little silly when you look at it, but it's not his fault that Zoro is a dumb tactile learner is it? He's doing what's best for him, the little ungrateful shit!

"Ugh. Turn around, I can't do this if I have to look at your stupid grinning mug." He orders, placing his hands on Zoro's shoulders and spinning him around to face the other way. Zoro giggles quietly and Sanji jabs him in the ribs sharply.

He's glad for Zoro facing the other way when the moss haired idiot settles with his back in the space between Sanji's spread legs on the counter top. Sanji rests his hand on Zoro's broad back and chews at his lip nervously. The dull metal shine of the plate at the back of Zoro's head sobers him up pretty quickly, reminding him of the seriousness of his task. He and the rest of their nakama all adjust to a new normal pretty quickly, it's a way of survival as a pirate, but Sanji shouldn't forget that Zoro having to relearn shit like this isn't normal, it's because his nakama had his brains splattered on a rock. This is serious.

He breathes a few times deeply to steady himself and starts at the beginning of the alphabet again, speaking the letters as he writes them large on the middle of Zoro's back. He's only got to C though before Zoro stops him.

"Wait." The swordsman says simply and leans away from Sanji. In one smooth movement he pulls his shirt from his chest, revealing strong and rippling muscles under bronze skin. His earrings chime softly from the movement as he settles back into place between Sanji's legs. Sanji breathes in softly, his breath slightly taken away and wondering if Zoro somehow knew what was on his mind earlier and is just tormenting him now. As he breathes though the unique scent of Zoro fills him, salt and steel, shirtless summer sunshine and diving under the water. He absently licks his lips as he tries to gather his senses again.

"Why're you doing that?" He asks, his throat dry with anxious anticipation as his hand hovers mere centimetres from that expanse of tanned delicious skin. He's pretty sure that Zoro's answer isn't going to be something like "To sexually frustrate you of course whilst facing in a direction that reminds you that I'm still injured and you're supposed to be looking after me, I figured it was the best way to give you a conflicted erection!"

"Feels good." Zoro answers, shorting out Sanji's brain.

"What?" Sanji squeaks.

"Wait, no. Uh... easier to... yeah, easier to feel without the shirt." Zoro clarifies, bringing Sanji's heart rate from hummingbird with a coronary levels and back down into the human range.

"Right." Sanji says, swallowing thickly as his head spins more than a little at Zoro's words. He breathes out slowly and watches Zoro's muscles tense and flex under the exhale of air running over his skin. Shit, Zoro's going to realise that something is up if he just sits there just staring like this. Sure enough Zoro's head is tilted around to look at him ever so slightly, a dark pupil focused on him as Zoro tries to look without being caught.

"Heh, you're just wanting to get your stupid sweat stench all over my nice clean kitchen without me being able to shout at you." Sanji accuses weakly.

"Could've when you were out." Zoro smirks challengingly at him. Sanji's brain shorts out more than a little at that image.

"You... you didn't though... right?" Sanji asks weakly, his mind flashing up images of Zoro naked and sweaty, sprawled out on any and every surface of his kitchen.

Zoro doesn't say anything, just looks suspiciously innocent and smirks up at him. Sanji's not sure if that's Zoro's lying face and that he did do just that or that he didn't but wants to drive Sanji mad by thinking that he did. Either way he's a bastard.

"Hate you." Sanji hisses and kicks Zoro in the knee. Zoro laughs, bright and loud in a way that makes Sanji's insides flutter.

"Whatever, back to the alphabet." He insists and shoves Zoro's shoulders so that he's facing straight forward and the giggling is at a minimum. Sanji traces each letter out, saying it softly as his finger runs over shoulder muscles, the tight ridges of muscle over his ribs, the tense parts under his shoulder blades and the smooth planes of muscle and skin up to his shoulders. He spells out words and names, saying them and getting Zoro to say them back to him.

Eventually Zoro starts getting it, he starts recognising patterns and is able to identify letters by touch as Sanji draws them out. He can tell letters from the nonsense patterns that Sanji draws on his back now and then to try to catch him out.

"Ok, ok, how about this one?" Sanji asks. He draws his finger tip from Zoro's left shoulder blade over to his right, then crosses back down and left over the dip in his spine and goes right again to finish under Zoro's right shoulder blade. He takes his finger off and then draws a big circle from the nape of Zoro's neck to the middle of his back. Then he makes a straight line from Zoro's left shoulder down to the bottom of his left shoulder blade before adding a smaller semicircle at the top that makes it to the dip of Zoro's spine in the middle before returning to his drawn line, without taking his finger off he then pulls his touch all the way to under Zoro's right shoulder blade in a straight line. He finishes with another large circle in the middle of Zoro's back.

"That's..." Zoro starts uncertainly and Sanji watches him tense uneasily.

"Go on." Sanji urges him gently.

"My name? I think that's my name." the swordsman says uneasily, looking over his shoulder to Sanji.

"YES! You read!" Sanji exclaims delightedly, unable and unwilling to suppress the smile on his face. He flings his arms around Zoro's neck and pulls him close into a hug, brimming with excitement.

"I did." Zoro agrees numbly.

"I did!" He says again, more excitedly as it sinks in.

"Alright, another, stand up straight again." Sanji orders him, as he tries to think of a word that's less obvious than Zoro's name.

"Uh... tom... wait, do that again?" Zoro frowns, Sanji repeats his movements and notices Zoro mouthing along.

"Tom..a..t...o? Tomato!" Zoro shouts victoriously.

"You got it!" the cook agrees happily.

Zoro pulls free of Sanji then and excitedly bounds to one of the cupboards, jamming his hand inside and pulling out the first thing that he catches.

" r. Flow..you..are? Flour!" He declares, waving the bag at Sanji euphorically.

"Wait up moss ball, do you think you can write too? Here, let me just..." Sanji trails off as he grabs his little magnetic notepad and pen off of the fridge. It's one that Usopp had rigged together for him back on the Going Merry to help him keep his shopping lists together for when they landed at port. He walks to Zoro and hands them over.

"Don't just copy what you just read out, write my name down. You haven't read that recently." Sanji suggests. The last thing that he wants is for Zoro to just be copying down something that he can see, Zoro could copy before but he still couldn't read or understand what he had down on the paper. Sanji wants to know that Zoro can turn the words in his head and the sounds that come out of his mouth onto marks on the page, that's what he needs to know. If Zoro can do that it'll be an incredible amount of progress in one afternoon. Granted Zoro's reading level seems to be pretty fucking rudimentary but considering that it wasn't that long ago that he was mute and couldn't understand so much as a word anyone said it's a hell of a lot of progress.

Zoro nods to himself and holds the pad of paper close to his chest. He shoos Sanji away and curls over the paper as he starts to write. He sees Zoro scowl at the page and cross out his scribblings time and time again. Clearly it's not coming to him as easily as he might like. In the end Zoro has to close his eyes and slowly mouth the letters to be able to make what he wants to write. He doesn't want to put pressure on Zoro by staring at him though so he busies himself with properly mixing together seasoning for the lamb that he had selected earlier. All the same though his attention is entirely focused on the soft scratching sounds of Zoro's pen as he writes.

Zoro's finger taps softly on Sanji's shoulder and the cook expectantly turns around to see Zoro with the pad held up in front of himself, the cardboard back to the notepad facing Sanji. He's holding it in such a way that it conceals his mouth and the idiot actually looks kind of cute and nervous like that. Sanji would deny it fervently but his heart is actually melting a little at the sight.

Zoro tears the paper slowly and carefully from the pad and then, placing the now blank pad of paper and its pen down on the counter next to the chopping board, hands the note over to Sanji. Sanji turns it over in his hands and looks down at it. There are numerous scribbled out attempts, each one a little more indented into the paper as Zoro's frustration had built. But near the bottom of the page, surrounded by clear space, are the first words that Zoro has written since he got his head smashed open.

Shit cook

Sanji grips the paper tightly and glares up at Zoro, watching the smug grin of 'gotcha' spread out over the bastard's face.

"You... you... you SHITTY SHIT!" Sanji howls, swinging his leg up fast at Zoro and catching him in the ribs. Zoro skids across the kitchen, clutching his side but not from the blow Sanji had dealt him but from the hysterical laughter coming out of him.

"You UNGRATEFUL shitty little bastard! I ought to break every bone in your BODY!" Sanji snarls, leaping the counter and kicking for Zoro's face. Zoro catches the blow with his arm but Sanji's foot still connects enough to leave a red mark of impact on his cheekbone. Zoro grins, broad and feral as he shoves Sanji back and hightails it out of the kitchen, laughing like a hyena as he goes.

"AND STAY OUT!" Sanji bellows out of the door for good measure before slamming it shut after him.

Sanji stomps back further into the kitchen, fuming and muttering angrily under his breath. He scowls at the piece of paper and pulls his arm back all ready to throw it in the trash. But... it was still the first thing that Zoro had written after he'd taught him how to do it and... well...

Sanji glances suspiciously around the room and checks through the portholes to make sure that no one is watching him before he quickly folds up the slip of paper and slides it into the breast pocket in his jacket. Stupid shitty bastard.

A/N: Thank you so well everyone for all of the amazing well wishes and the continued positive feedback on this story! I hope I can keep making you all proud! I love you all! 3


	11. Chapter 11

Despite weighing almost nothing Sanji feels the presence of Zoro's note in his breast pocket the whole time that he's cooking. Now and then his fingers wander absently towards it before he has the common sense to jerk them away. It's just a note, it shouldn't mean anything but... Ugh. Sanji bangs his head softly on the cupboard door. He'd told himself that he wouldn't do this. Now that he's got himself back into Zoro's good books and the two of them are friends again he'd sworn that he was going to do whatever it took to stay there. Because they are friends now, perhaps they didn't used to be. After everything they've been through though he can't deny that friends is what they are now. But his stupid heart keeps trying to ruin it with feelings. Zoro was just teasing him with that note but Sanji keeps reacting to it like a schoolgirl with a love note. It's stupid and dumb. But... well... what Zoro doesn't know won't hurt Sanji so maybe he can just allow himself the small weakness of keeping the note close to himself.

He's pathetic, but what else is new?

When he calls the crew in for dinner there is the typical stampede of bodies trying to get in and get their share before the black hole that is Luffy engulfs all that he can. Zoro and Usopp are talking together in between mouthfuls, though Sanji notices that Usopp is the one doing most of the talking. Though Zoro isn't having so much trouble pronouncing things or having gaps in his vocabulary it seems that the actual process of having a conversation with other people is still hard work. He feels a little flutter of something at the thought that Zoro can talk better with him than Usopp.

"So Sanji, how is Zoro's progress coming along?" Chopper pipes up curiously.

"Oh, it's good. He's doing well." Sanji answers with a smile.

"I wrote." Zoro adds happily. At that Chopper's ears perk up with adorable deer excitement and his eyes get adorably wide.

"You did! That's amazing! What did you write? Can I see? Where is it?" Chopper asks enthusiastically. Zoro just shrugs and bites into his food, apparently having no words to offer.

Unsatisfied with that explanation, or lack thereof, Chopper turns to Sanji with expectant eyes.

"Oh, uh. I had it around here somewhere but I'm not sure where it is now." Sanji lies clumsily. He doesn't want the others to see the note, it's for him. Zoro wrote it to him and yeah, it's dumb and he's reading a hell of a lot more into Zoro's scrawled 'shit cook' than there is there, he knows that. He's acting like it's a goddamn love letter but in reality it's not, not at all. But shit, he's not allowing himself to do anything external to jeopardize his and Zoro's friendship but surely he's entitled to his own private weaknesses and indulgences isn't he?

"Really Sanji?" Robin asks, her eyes sharp on him.

"Uh..." Sanji says, stalling for time.

"Because I'm sure that it's in your jacket pocket where you've kept it all afternoon, you know, right above your heart." She continues, staring him down.

SHIT. Shit. How the hell does she know? Was she watching them? Does she know what it means to him? Fuck! Of course she does, she's Robin, she knows and sees all.

"I don't-" He scrambles, his voice getting a little high.

Robin's beautiful lips purse and a sudden fragrance of flowers bursts around him. Before he can react, a disembodied hand slides down his chest and inside his suit jacket. Once he would have melted and swooned over Robin's hands on his chest. Now all the flooded him was panic and possessiveness. She was going to find the note and she was going to take it from him, it's his, Zoro made it for him and she can't have it. But he's stuck like a deer in the goddamn headlights as the note slides free in her hands and is quickly passed along out of his reach and down to her by a series of flower hands.

She unfurls the note and smiles as she reads.

"Aww, Zoro's first written words. 'Shit cook'." She smiles and a few around their table laugh. Of course they do, they think it's just regular old Zoro and Sanji banter, ha ha, those idiots arguing again. But it's his... it means something to him...

The sense of being watched fills him and he turns and catches Zoro's eye.

It's not hard to do, Zoro is staring right at him. His gaze is assessing and focused, like he's trying to work out just what Sanji is and how he fits together. He's looking at Sanji like something doesn't fit. He's right though, it doesn't. The two of them are rivals, friends too, but rivals nonetheless. So why would he keep Zoro's note? It doesn't make sense, not unless there's more going on there. Zoro's dark gold and brown eyes pin Sanji to the spot for several terrifying moments until the cook is able to break free, grabbing the water jug and muttering something about a refill for the table.

He parks himself at the sink and slowly fills the glass jug, begging his hammering heart to slow the fuck down. At the table no one else has noticed anything amiss. People are congratulating Zoro's progress, laughing about their bickering, the usual. Usopp bounds past Sanji and sticks the note to the fridge with a pineapple fridge magnet that Sanji got from a shitty island resort ages ago. He teases Zoro good naturedly about pinning up all his milestones to the fridge, like a kid at school.

Sanji returns to the table with the jug. The topic of conversation has moved on, Nami is discussing the weather and sailing with Franky, Brook is telling a joke about a cricket to Chopper. Zoro's gaze is back on his food as he uses his fork in one hand to eat the meat and keeps his knife in the other, wary of Luffy's thieving hands.

Zoro eats slower now, he seems to savour the taste of Sanji's food a little more. Maybe he appreciates what Sanji puts into it more, understands him and his cooking more. Maybe...

His eyes cut to Robin as his neck itches with the feeling of being watched. She is watching him too, she's not speaking to anyone, her chin rested on laced fingers as she watches Sanji with a coy little smile on her lips. Irrationally he feels like she can see inside his brain.

"I'm gonna just- Usopp it's your turn to wash." Sanji mumbles out and then scuttles out of the room, his metaphorical tail between his legs.

Sanji makes his way down, under deck and down hallways until he comes to the bathroom. He lets himself inside and clicks the lock on the door. He pauses before double checking the lock and jiggling the handle just to make sure that he's on his own.

He leans against the door, body and mind heavy and weighing him down. He tries to process the look that Zoro was giving him. Curiosity and confusion certainly, but Zoro isn't stupid for all that Sanji says that he is. What if Zoro figures him out? Figures out that whilst Zoro's just been focusing on getting better Sanji's heart has been getting the best of him?

He'd thought that he could allow himself this quiet indulgence in his mind, that he could just keep his feelings small and burning inside his heart, like a little lamp for himself to light up the dark places. He didn't have to let it go, he didn't need to let it burn brighter, he just wanted to hold the warmth for himself. Okay, so what he really wanted was for all those little fantasies of Zoro to come true, for the man's fingers to trace his lips for something other than just learning. For those lips of Zoro's, so often chewed in thought or uncertainty, to follow his fingers and kiss him. He wants it, he wants it in ways the he could never have believed before.

He can't though, Robin seems determined to drag his feelings out into the open, regardless of whether she knows just what she's doing or not. She's an archeologist, a mystery solver. She sees something she doesn't understand yet and pulls and pokes at it, examines it and prods until she does. But this time she wouldn't be laying out some archaic text out for all to learn from and look at, it'd be his feelings.

He shoves his body away from the door. He needs to kill them.

His feelings, obviously. Not his crew. God, no.

Sanji shakes his addled head and walks to the sink, looking at the mirror above it and staring himself down. Kill his feelings, got it.

"He doesn't want you." He says softly to his reflection. Sanji pauses and thinks for a moment. He turns around the twists the knob on the shower around, to full blast. The water pelts off of the ceramic and the sound fills the room, obscuring any other sound from prying ears. Back to the mirror.

"He wouldn't want you." He says to his reflection. Reflected Sanji looks like he thinks that this is a stupid idea. Sanji concurs.

Okay, so that isn't working. He tries to imagine it then instead. He confesses his feelings dramatically and Zoro rejects him, angrily and violently, like he did when Sanji fucked up with protecting him. He opens his eyes and glares at his reflection.

"Like he'd fucking want you. He'll kick your ass for saying anything." He asserts.

Hm, no. That doesn't sit right. Even the thought of Zoro throwing his feelings back in his face like that makes him angry. Not hurt but angry. He'd think 'well fuck you then, you don't deserve me' and kick Zoro's ass right back. His self esteem isn't so low that Zoro's reaction would hurt him so badly. He's not an unattractive guy, he's got nice eyes, good skin, his hair's kind of shiny and soft. He's attractive, Zoro could do a lot worse than him.

So that isn't working. But he still needs to kill his feelings for Zoro or else he'll find out.

Maybe...

He imagines what would happen, what could have happened if he'd stuck around after dinner. Zoro would walk over to the fridge, look at his own writing curiously, wonder why Sanji had kept it like that. Robin would make some sly comment about it being sweet, maybe Usopp would thoughtlessly joke about it being romantic, like he had that time on the beach. Maybe Nami would join in too. The thought would occur to Zoro. He'd realise all the little tells that Sanji has no doubt been dropping, the way he reacts to Zoro's touch, his neediness for Zoro's presence and the way he kept the note to himself.

Maybe Zoro would look at him, curious dark eyes asking for an answer. Why?

He'd stumble over an explanation, a hurried and clumsy confession of feelings. Zoro would look at him, eyes wide with surprise. Sanji imagines himself making a double or nothing bet, he'd lean forward and press his lips to Zoro's. His stomach flutters with butterflies and Sanji jumps. There it is, there's the goddamn feelings that are getting the better of him. Now that he knows where they are he can attack them.

He imagines Zoro's hands on his shoulders, not pulling him in but pushing him away. Firm but gentle hands. Sanji would blink in hazed confusion to see Zoro looking at him. Pity written clear on his face. He'd struggle to form the words, embarrassment and awkwardness choking his tongue.

"Sorry, but-" He'd say.

Something inside Sanji lashes in pain. Zoro would pity him. Stupid Sanji, falling for someone who doesn't want him. Just like he flirts and fails with all those girls he's met on their journey. He flirts and they tolerate it, smile and then reject him. Only he was just flirting with them, his feelings for Zoro are real. He's had enough rejection to find it easy enough to superimpose it onto Zoro's image.

"I'm not interested." He imagines Zoro saying.

No, no, no. His heart aches but he goes on.

Zoro's brow creases with worry. Worry for Sanji's feelings, he tries to put on a bright but sympathetic expression. He runs Zoro through the words he's heard before.

"I'm sure you'll find someone else, you're sweet." He imagines Zoro saying. He layers on the pity in Zoro's voice, the tones of 'why on earth would he think that I'd like him?' in there too. Sanji bites into his lip, lying to himself that the pain is why his eyes are getting blurry. It's not enough though, he needs to finish this weakness of his.

"You're more like a brother to me." He imagines Zoro adding.

Sanji whines, moisture dropping from his lashes.

He looks up at the mirror again.

"See? He doesn't want you." He declares shakily to himself. This time he buys it.


	12. Chapter 12

Sanji leans on the rails of the ship and inhales the smoke of his cigarette. He brings the smoke into his lungs, holds it there for a second or two until it curls around every inch of his lungs and then breathes it out in a steady stream. He idly tries to blow a smoke ring but to Sanji's eyes it comes out looking a little more like a smoke heart. His mind instantly flicks to Zoro and he angrily swipes his hand through the smoke, dissipating it in one go. He's not thinking like that any more.

"Really?" Zoro's voice asks from the upper levels of the ship, making Sanji jump. He looks around frantically and sees Zoro and Robin huddled together talking. He feels all of the blood drain from his face in dread. Is Robin telling him what she saw? Surely she wouldn't but... well, what if she feels that Zoro needs to know?

Sanji gulps and flicks his cigarette overboard, he suddenly doesn't feel like smoking. He heads inside the kitchen, his stomach churning with nerves and gets on with breakfast. He hadn't slept especially well after trying to kill his feelings for Zoro last night. Hopefully he succeeded but even he isn't naïve enough to think that these things can just be extinguished in one go.

Cloistering himself away he starts on breakfast, lining sausages up on the grill to cook, beating together eggs for scrambled egg for those who want it, slicing brioche, making a hollandaise sauce. He's just getting spinach out of the fridge along with the meat to complete the eggs benedict that he's making when Zoro saunters into the room. Held lightly in his hand is a paperback book. Zoro seems to notice what Sanji is looking and and holds it up, it's a novel of some kind. He squints, Treasure Island? Appropriate he supposes.

"Robin... shit what's the word... she uh. She had it and now I have it... she... she gave it to me, that's it. Said it'd help reading." Zoro says, eventually getting to what he wanted to say.

"That's nice." Is all Sanji can manage.

"You want help?" Zoro offers.

Sanji grits his teeth, he wants to say yes. He wants to have Zoro around him, goodness knows that he could use the help with the stab wound still throbbing in pain now and then, but he knows that spending more time around Zoro will do nothing for his infatuation. Yesterday he'd stared obscenely at Zoro's ass before holding his hand and running his fingers all over Zoro's bare back. There mere thought of that is enough to send tingles down his spine and a flare of want in his gut.

He can't. If he does then he's just playing Russian roulette until Zoro works out how he feels.

"No, it's fine." He lies, turning his back quickly on Zoro and unloading his ingredients out onto the counter.

"Okay." Zoro responds and Sanji relaxes a little. That is until he hears the scrape of a chair instead of the opening of a door.

Stiffly Sanji looks over his shoulder to see Zoro sat down at one of the dining room chairs, his chin resting in his hand as he looks over the first page of his borrowed book, his brow set in concentration. Shit, Zoro is still going to be here.

Sanji diligently washes the spinach and tries to not think about Zoro. He poaches eggs and reminds himself of Zoro's imagined rejection, of the pity in his eyes. It hurts him but... he glances over his shoulder again. Zoro is bathed in warm light from the porthole window and chewing his lip in thought as he tries to read, stopping occasionally to mouth something out in order to get it.

Sanji looks back at his saucepan and the gently cooking egg floating in the boiling water. Would Zoro really break his heart like that? Zoro's not mean but- ugh. Shit, no. Just because Zoro has the capacity to be nice to him that doesn't mean that Sanji is entitled to his romantic affections, not at all. If anything Zoro's respect for his nakama makes him more likely to let him down gently than to explode about it.

Or... his treacherous brain purrs, he could be in love with you too...

Sanji drops his spoon on the floor and swears loudly. "in love too" rather implies that Sanji is in love with Zoro. Shit. He knew that he liked him, that he was attracted to him but... LOVE?!

Paranoia bites at him and he looks around in barely contained terror. Zoro is looking back at him with a confused and slightly concerned expression on his face. Shit! Sanji curses under his breath and vigorously washes his spoon, dries it and goes about rescuing his poached egg and settling it on the bed of spinach and meat on the toasted brioche. His hands are shaking.

He could deny it, he could claim that he's just romantically interested in Zoro, that it's just a little crush. He's not that much of a liar though, his name isn't Usopp. The agony he felt when Zoro cut ties with him, the jealousy over Zoro letting someone else teach him, his joy at being close with Zoro again... it all fit. This was far too emotional to just be a crush, even a crush on a nakama.

He stares miserably at his hollandaise sauce. He is so fucked.

"Want me to get..." Zoro trails off, suddenly behind Sanji. It takes all that he has not to jump.

"Yeah, yeah, get everyone please. Nami and Robin's breakfasts are just about ready, I've just got the sauce left. I can just dish up the eggs for everyone else and the toast and then I can put drinks out, we're ready. Find everyone and then I'll be all good, oh I have to lay the table first and-" Sanji babbles. He doesn't mean to keep talking but his mouth is just on overdrive, as if the more he speaks the more he can drown out the thoughts inside his head that threaten to give him away.

"Cook, shut it." Zoro says flatly.

Sanji's jaw snaps shut with a click.

Zoro squints at him, suspicious. He leans into Sanji's personal space and holds his gaze, apparently trying to read Sanji's mind. A cold sweat breaks out on Sanji's back and he looks away. Zoro backs off a little.

"Weird." Zoro comments and walks off, out of the kitchen.

Sanji lets out a trembling breath. He swears and kicks a cupboard door. Love. Why did it have to be love?! He's in deeper shit than he thought. Still he has breakfast to serve. He pours the sauce over the eggs and walks both dishes to the girls' places at the table. He sets the table with cutlery and glasses, fills a glass jug with juice. He puts plates at the table and starts serving sausages and eggs, tomatoes and toast. All of this he does on autopilot whilst repeatedly praying that Zoro is as dense and oblivious as Sanji has always accused him of being.

He's dropping the used hollandaise saucepan in the sink and filling it with warm water to stop it crusting over and being a bitch to wash when his eyes wander to the fridge. He sees Zoro's note pinned there with the stupid pineapple fridge magnet.

"shit cook"

Sanji's heart throbs.

He's not fucked. Fucked is a speck in the distance, he passed that ages ago, he is now rapidly hurtling towards doomed.

When he has to sit down when breakfast starts it's in the seat opposite Zoro. He tries not looking at him but then finds himself worrying that it's too conspicuous, so he tries looking at Zoro, but every time that he does he clearly does it for too long because Zoro eventually ends up sensing his gaze and looking back at him. Suddenly snapping his gaze away would be too weird so they end up holding the occasional long second or two of awkward eye contact. Or awkward on his part, more confused on Zoro's.

By the time breakfast is over Sanji is a nervous wreck. He seriously hopes that this feeling starts to fade as he tells himself more often that he and Zoro are never going to happen. There's no way that he can live with this. His insides feel like a never ending tug of war, with his head insisting the logical and sane thing that Zoro is not interested in him like that, that they're nakama and reminding him that he'd do anything to keep Zoro as his nakama, losing him last time was just too painful. He's got a sword scar through his chest as a reminder of that. No matter how much getting Zoro's blade in the chest hurt, it actually hurt a lot less than being at odds with Zoro. Having the swordsman act distant and silent to him, having him physically hurt him and his hands and feeling that rift between them was a slow and painful death. All of these things make sense, his head makes a very strong argument.

His heart however... well. His heart reminds him of how Zoro's fingers tracing over his lips felt, how it feels that Zoro can still speak the most clearly to him and how Zoro trusts him. His heart flashes up the image of closing that gap between himself and Zoro and kissing the man. His heart accepts that the odds are highly stacked against him, but in it's treacherous little voice it says 'but what if?'

That is the question that has the power to wreck his life. What if Zoro likes him back, no, what if Zoro loves him back. Arguably Zoro could well be keeping that secret, indeed it was likely that if Zoro did feel anything for him then he'd keep it to himself. Zoro has as much to lose by broaching that barrier as Sanji does. If anything Sanji can see that Zoro has more evidence against him than Sanji has against Zoro. The swordsman has never shown any real romantic interest in anyone at all, though Sanji is still not sure what exactly Zoro feels for that marine girl with the sword. Whatever it is seems to freak Zoro out but he's no idea if the feelings that seem to cause such blind panic and escape responses in Zoro are positive or negative. She probably doesn't count. Sanji however pursues women exclusively, or as far as Zoro knows he does. He pursues women... a lot. He's pretty sure that there have been very few if any populated islands where he's not made a pass at some woman or another. He can't help himself, pretty ladies have to know that they're pretty and if they fall for him then all the better. By all logical deductions that Zoro could make Sanji has no reason to be wired in a way to be attracted to him at all.

Only, he's wrong.

In any case, his heart makes the logical point that unless Sanji actually investigates Zoro's feelings by making some kind of move or confession then he doesn't know for sure. Genuine returned love could be waiting for him, just a few words away. Everything that he can imagine with Zoro could come true, all he has to do is say something. So, his heart reasons, what if...

Caught between these two is not a fun place to be. As the morning continues the crew clears out of the kitchen, save for Zoro who sits in his chair, his feet propped up on the table, reading his book. All of that continues in the background whilst Sanji vacillates between desperately trying to tamp down his feelings for Zoro and destroy them as much as he can so that he doesn't ruin his relationship with Zoro and on the other hand half convincing himself to turn around then and there and declare his feelings.

Eventually he's cleaned every plate, pan and item of cutlery in the kitchen. He's scrubbed every surface clean, put every ingredient away and stored everything neatly. He has done everything that he has an excuse to do and Zoro is still sitting there behind him. It is starting to drive him mad. He has half a mind to turn around and scream at Zoro, demanding to know just what it is that Zoro wants from him and why he's torturing Sanji for it. Only that would be irrational because Zoro isn't torturing Sanji, he's just reading a fucking book and trying to teach himself how to read again. He's not thinking about Sanji at all. Just because Sanji's brain is an endless conga line of thoughts about Zoro it doesn't mean that Zoro's is the same, even if by some miracle Zoro did happen to like him back. Screaming at Zoro would only serve to make him look like a total loon.

Forcing himself to ignore Zoro he makes his way out onto the deck and leans on the rail of the ship, watching the blank horizon where sea blue meets sky blue. He smokes a cigarette and tries to relax. Then he smokes another. And another.

Finally Luffy sidles up to him, drops himself onto the railing of the ship so that he's sitting next to where Sanji is leaning, and puts his arm around him.

"It'll be ok." Luffy assures him.

Sanji is momentarily comforted by this before skepticism takes over.

"Do you even know what you're trying to comfort me about?" He questions.

Luffy looks out at the sea, his gaze intent and focused. Sanji gets the vague feeling, as he has many times, that there is a lot more going on in that thick rubber skull of Luffy's than he knows about.

"Everything." Luffy asserts in a statement that is either really fucking zen or really fucking dumb.

"Thanks." He says flatly and then "I guess." He adds uncertainly.

Behind him Sanji hears a door open, the galley door, and Zoro heads out onto the main deck.

"Got to go." Sanji says quickly and walks to the front of the ship, by the time Zoro is halfway to the distance that Sanji is the cook doubles back, swinging his path around the side of the ship that Zoro isn't walking in and retreats back to his kitchen. Smooth.

Sanji wanders over to his fridge and looks at the note again, his eyes tracing over Zoro's words.

Tell him, don't tell him, tell him, don't tell him.

Maybe... maybe if he waits it out long enough Zoro will crack first and tell him, assuming that there is something on his part to tell. As soon as he thinks that though Sanji is called back to their previous feud and remembers that Zoro showed no signs of budging then. Zoro has patience in spades and far more self control than Sanji ever has. In fact the only time Zoro seems to have little self control is in resisting arguments with him. With Sanji as the lone exception Zoro is a diligent, focused and driven man. He never shirks off his sword practice, he never fails to pull his weight on the ship when he's needed and he's always determined in working towards his goal. By comparison Sanji takes his job seriously but still goofs off now and then, he's pre-prepared stuff the night before and then deliberately allowed himself a massive lie in, knowing that he can throw breakfast together in minutes. He often skips his combat practice, gets hangovers and doesn't do his chores when he feels rough from them. Sure, he doesn't do anything that would put his crew in danger but he's a far weaker willed man than Zoro, at least generally speaking. Emotionally too he's more volatile and less restrained, he tends to blurt out whatever he wants most of the time, though not as bad as Luffy, he can't resist flirting with ladies whenever the opportunity presents itself and he can never resist a chance to needle Zoro.

No, there is no way that Zoro will break and tell him if there is anything to tell.

He spends the next two days trying to avoid Zoro. Moreover he tries to balance it in a way that it appears that he's not avoiding Zoro, he spends time near him but doesn't actively engage in trying to teach him anything or strike up conversation. He responds if Zoro talks to him but doesn't offer up his own conversation topics, usually pretending to be super focused on whatever it is that he's doing at the time, this means that conversation tends to die down pretty quickly.

His hope is that by doing this his feelings will start to fade and his head will win out. Two days later though and there is no sign of that happening. Moreover the frustration from having to watch himself so closely is starting to get to him, added to that is the fact that he really misses Zoro, put together and the crew has one grumpy Sanji on their hands. His mood doesn't improve when he discovers that somehow he's out of flour. He's sure that he had a bag in the cupboard just the other day, it was one of the things that Zoro read out for him after all. Confusingly though it's missing. He's sure that he's not used it and Usopp is nowhere near brave or dumb enough to steal from his kitchen, especially for something so meagre as flour. Besides, he can't think of any of Usopp's current ammo that uses flour as a component. Even more confusing is the fact that Sanji uses reusable bags for supplies like flour, if he'd run out he'd have the empty bag up here and would have simply gone to refill it below deck.

He frowns with his hands on his hips. He did just make a supply run down there yesterday, perhaps in his Zoro induced mental fog he'd taken the bag down there and clean forgotten about it. It's highly unlike him but he supposes that it's possible.

He meanders outside the kitchen and down the hatch below deck, he passes the men's quarters, Franky and Usopp's workshops and various storage and weapon rooms. Finally he gets to the ship's hull and the storage. Sanji keeps this area as pristine as he can with all of his food elevated off of the floor to prevent damp, not that Franky's ship has ever leaked on them, and to stop other damage to the goods. Each pallet, barrel or box of food is carefully bound up. The ship could flip over end to end and likely none of this food would come loose, a good thing too considering that the ship's cola engine made that scenario distinctly possible.

Sanji wanders over to the stack of bags that comprise his flour stores, they're all sealed shut in waterproof bags, carefully resealed after every withdrawal. He frowns, he really doesn't remember doing this any time recently. He's about to go back up to the kitchen to look for his smaller bag again when the storeroom door bangs open.

Sanji jumps and looks over to see Zoro standing in the doorway, the door flung open and his frame blocking the only way in or out of the room. His finger is pointing right at Sanji accusingly and Zoro's mouth is open ready to shout at him. Only... nothing comes out and Zoro looks more and more frustrated, eventually gritting his teeth and snarling at himself in frustration.

"Uh." Sanji says to break the silence, goddamn this is awkward.

Zoro holds a hand up at him to wait and straightens himself up a little more normally, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in and out. He's trying to refocus and relax. With that done Zoro opens his eyes, glares at Sanji, raises a judgemental finger at him and... says... nothing.

"You've kind of ruined a dramatic entrance there marimo. Do you want to go out and come back in and try that a second time, I mean, you've got me trapped in here, I 'aint going anywhere." Sanji suggests, half seriously and half mocking.

"Oh fuck you." Zoro snaps, apparently able to speak again. He scowls at Sanji.

"Right, well, if that's it I think I'll be going." Sanji says, trying to walk around Zoro and back out through the door.

"No, you stay." Zoro orders and from behind his back he pulls out the small bag of flour and holds it up threateningly, as if he means to pelt Sanji with it.

"You STOLE my flour!" Sanji gasps in horrified accusation.

"Had to." Zoro says, gesturing to the room and getting in the way of the door so that Sanji still can't leave.

Sanji's idiot brain catches up. Zoro stole his flour to make him come down here, now that he's down here Zoro controls the only exit and unless he wants to fight him around all of his fragile supplies, which he doesn't, then he's stuck here. Cunning bastard.

"What do you want?" Sanji demands with a snap.

Zoro has a few false starts, Sanji hasn't seen him this tongue tied in what feels like ages. Eventually he's able to speak, just.

"The fuck man?" Zoro asks with a frown, folding his arms angrily but still keeping the flour in one hand.

"You're going to need to be a little more specific." the cook sighs, he feels a little mean about it but he really isn't sure what's going on here.

"What with- no... what's wrong with you? You've been... weird." Zoro asks, re-routing his sentence around the words that get stuck and the sentences that don't sound right.

"Gee, thanks." Sanji snorts, but he feels the heat rising up the back of his neck. The uncomfortable hot prickle of both guilt and fear at being caught, Zoro knows that something is up.

"You," Zoro levels an accusing finger at him, "been ignoring me. Avoiding, whatever."

"No, I've been talking to you, you can't say I've been ignoring you, I've just been busy marimo." Sanji answers primly, pleased that he put the forethought in to make it hard for Zoro to accuse him of being evasive or ignoring him.

"BullSHIT!" Zoro snarls and raises up the bag of flour threateningly, as if to throw it at Sanji's head.

"Don't throw my flour!" Sanji yells, both angry and desperate. Does Zoro know just how much he can make from flour? Zoro glares at him and doesn't lower the bag.

"You wouldn't..." Sanji says with a glare as he narrows his eyes at Zoro. Surely the marimo respects his craft enough by now to know how much that would hurt him. But then again maybe that's exactly why he's using it as a threat.

"Not if you talk." Zoro responds firmly, his expression steely and determined. That motherfucker!

"Well what do you want to talk about?" Sanji asks through gritted teeth and tries to subtly move closer to the flour. Zoro clocks his movements and winds his arm back with the flour, Sanji backs off. Zoro will throw it.

"The note, why'd you keep it?" Zoro asks, his eyes locked on Sanji's. The blonde freezes up, he wants nothing more than to yelp out 'oh hey I don't need the flour, see you bye!' and hightail it out of there, but that would be a dead giveaway. He needs to play it cool.

"It was the first thing you wrote since your injury, it's important." Sanji says. It's true, just... not the whole truth.

"Why'd you keep it here?" Zoro continues his line of questioning, reaching forward and tapping Sanji's chest, right where his heart is.

"That's what pockets are for moron." Sanji lies.

"Stop it!" Zoro snarls angrily, but Sanji won't budge on this. He's made his plan and he's sticking to it. Sanji purses his lips and grits his teeth, eventually Zoro's shoulders drop slightly, his arm lowering the flour.

"Why are you doing this? What did I...?" Zoro asks simply, sounding a little hurt. A bolt of guilt slams through Sanji just like Zoro's sword did, only this feels like it hurts more. He can't leave him like this.

"You haven't done anything, don't worry about it. I've just got shit to... to deal with." Sanji explains, making it as vague as possible whilst trying to reassure the other man.

"Like what?" Zoro presses, but Sanji takes the chance to lunge forward and yank the bag of flour from his hand whilst Zoro is distracted. Unfortunately it yanks on the stitches in his chest and he ends up a few steps away, doubled over and clutching at the hole in his chest whilst he waits for his diaphragm and his lungs to stop fighting and just let him breathe. He does however have the flour in his hand though, so that's something.

Zoro comes over to him and rubs soothing circles into Sanji's back until he starts to breathe right again.

"Better?" Zoro asks as Sanji straightens up after a bit, his hand pressed to his chest. Sanji nods, not trusting himself to both breathe and speak right now.

"Good. So, what shit?" Zoro asks again. Sanji glares at him, couldn't he have the decency to forget his question whilst Sanji nearly suffocated in his own lungs?

"Just... stuff." Sanji mutters, stepping away.

"What stuff?" Zoro demands, stepping closer again.

"Can we just not talk about this?!" Sanji snaps, fed up of Zoro pushing him. He can't tell him, if he tells him then everything will be ruined, again. He won't let that happen, he can't.

Zoro doesn't respond, his mouth is working like he's trying to get something out but Sanji takes the opportunity, clutches the flour to his chest and makes a break for the door. As he gets there Zoro stops him, but not with his body.

"We're friends... yes?" Zoro says quietly and yet it strikes Sanji solid.

He turns, slowly and looks at Zoro. The swordsman looks a little uncertain and Sanji would be in denial if he couldn't see the faint trace of hurt there. Zoro's usually so stoic but Sanji has got so used to reading him since he hit his head that he'd be blind not to see it even though the others might miss it.

"Of course. I mean, we weren't really before but now... yeah." Sanji answers, he can't let Zoro think that they aren't.

Zoro relaxes ever so slightly, he doesn't say anything. He just stares at Sanji, his implication clear. 'If we're friends then you should tell me.'

"I can't." Sanji says stiffly, not able to quite look Zoro in the eye.

"I only just got you talking to me again and I didn't get myself impaled just to wreck it all right away, I don't want you to hate me again." He says quickly, reminding himself just as much as Zoro why he can't tell him the truth.

"My fault." Zoro grits out, clearly angry at himself, his eyes linger on the spot on Sanji's chest where his sword went through. Zoro is blaming himself again.

"Don't do that, you saved my life remember?" he reminds Zoro, stepping away from the door and instead a little closer to Zoro.

"My sword, my fault." Zoro asserts strongly, clenching his fists.

"Hey, no. It was dark and smoky, you couldn't see. Besides I snuck up on you when I knew that you were already fighting and already mad at me. What kind of idiot startles a man holding three swords in a fight?" Sanji laughs weakly. Zoro just shakes his head, clearly no matter what Sanji says he will always blame himself for stabbing Sanji. The cook could probably tell Zoro over and over again until he died of old age and Zoro would no doubt stubbornly cling to his own blame, probably some noble swordsman shit.

Sanji grips the bag of flour around his chest a little tighter and tells himself that he's going to go now.

"What do you mean 'wreck it'?" Zoro asks, frowning at Sanji.

Goddamn Sanji's big mouth and Zoro's apparently crystal clear memory.

"I don't want to talk about it, it's not your problem, it's mine." He asserts, holding the bag of flour tightly as if it could somehow protect him.

Zoro stands there and watches him for a few long moments. His golden eyes seeming to stare right through Sanji. The blonde finds his heart fluttering, both in nervousness about this whole situation but also because... well... he'd been depriving himself of Zoro's attention of days and now that he had it back it felt good. Zoro was going out of his way to talk to him, even making Sanji quite literally go out of his way. Zoro is trying to get him to talk for the sake of their friendship, he cares.

"You don't trust... don't trust me." Zoro says softly, sounding pained.

"No! That's not... look. You know how the sword thing wasn't your fault- and shut up it wasn't!" Sanji insists as Zoro opens his mouth to protest.

"I got hurt but you didn't do anything wrong, this is... like that. Sort of. I'm just trying to have a bit more self preservation." Sanji explains, although he's pretty sure that he didn't really explain anything just then. Well, at least he tried. That counts, right?

"I'm going to hurt you? You think..." Zoro murmurs in shock, his sentence all messed up. Zoro's eyes are wide, he doesn't look hurt though, he looks afraid for Sanji. He looks like he would if he'd frightened Chopper or some other small animal, guilty and concerned.

"No, not... not like that. Not..." Sanji trails off. He knows what he means. Zoro wouldn't hurt him on purpose.

"Sanji..." Zoro says quietly. The cook feels his mouth twist into an uncomfortable line and he can't even look at Zoro right now. His fingernails are digging so hard into the bag of flour that they actually hurt.

He doesn't feel the same, he knows that. He's told himself that a million times. He shouldn't listen to his stupid fucking heart, he'll wreck everything and then lose the man who has rapidly become the person that Sanji cares most about. He can't. He can't. He can't. He runs the painful scenario of Zoro letting him down gently again in his mind, visualises the pity in Zoro's eyes, the well meaning but painful reassertions of 'I like you, but not like that...'

Zoro's hands touch his arms and Sanji realises that he's shaking slightly.

"I'm fine." He blurts out, not that Zoro asked. Not that it's true.

Zoro just looks at him. Maybe he can't find the words or maybe none of them would work on him. This look though, that feels heavier than any words. Zoro's eyes are worried for him, searching his face for any answer as to what it is that's tearing his friend apart, only it's Sanji tearing himself apart. Sanji needs to keep his mouth shut to keep this man in his life but it hurts so fucking bad. Sanji squeezes his eyes shut and runs Zoro's imagined rejection through his head again.

"Sanji..." Zoro calls him quietly.

Something in him breaks. Maybe his spine, maybe his sanity, his willpower, whatever. He shakes and grits his teeth, he forces his head down so that he's looking at the ground. Right now he doesn't trust himself not to do something immensely fucking stupid like lean in and kiss Zoro. He can imagine how he'd do it to, he'd lean close to Zoro, run his hand along his jaw and then just press his lips to Zoro. It'd say all the things that Sanji has banned himself from saying and if nothing else he'd get to kiss Zoro, even if it was just the once.

He can't. He can't.

Zoro's hand tightens on Sanji's shoulder and his left comes up to run through Sanji's hair, trying to soothe him.

"I'm in love with you." Sanji blurts out, staring down at Zoro's boots.

He slams his jaw shut so hard that his teeth click together, but it's far too fucking late. His heart overpowered his head for a split second but that was all it needed. But now his head is coming back into play and it's yelling at him, telling him that it fucking told him because Zoro's hands have frozen. The one in his hair is stock still, until it pulls back and falls to Zoro's side.

"What?" Zoro asks in shock. Sanji flinches and it feels far more painful than Zoro's sword through his gut ever did. Look at what he's done, it's all going to come crashing down around him now.

Sanji forces himself to drag his gaze up, perhaps in some masochistic way of punishing himself for his idiocy. Zoro is just standing there staring at him in shock and bewilderment. Zoro shakes his head and opens his mouth, nothing comes out.

"What?" He eventually manages to repeat, his brows drawing low.

Sanji is not going to stand around waiting for Zoro to string together his well meaning let down, god only knows how long it would take and he is not signing up for that torture than you very much.

"Ihavetogo." Sanji babbles quickly and pulls himself free from Zoro's now slack grip on his shoulder and darts for the door. He's out of it without any resistance from Zoro and he makes it halfway up the stairs before he has to stop.

His heart is still fucking going on about it. What if Zoro does feel the same but is too in shock and too unable to say anything, what if he's running out on Zoro whilst Zoro is looking up at him with longing? What if?

He pauses on the stairs and looks around.

Zoro is there alright, still staring up at him with shock that is rapidly moving into confusion and... nope! No, no, no. He's not staying here to watch this. He sprints up the stairs, across the deck, into the kitchen. He locks the doors, draws the curtains and heads into his pantry. He opens it, shuts the door behind him and locks himself inside. He doesn't trust anywhere else on the ship to be free from Robin's prying eyes now that he knows that she apparently spies on him.

He drops to the floor and puts his head against his knees, curled up in the dark. Stupid heart.


	13. Chapter 13

"Stupid." Sanji berates himself, smacking his head against the wooden wall inside the pantry.

"Shitty." He adds, another smack against the wood.

"Idiot." He snarls.

At least, he thinks with a sadistic kind of optimism, Zoro didn't reject him or let him down gently. No, he just stood there in numb shock whilst Sanji ran off like a coward. Which is a great plan. It's not like he and Zoro are trapped together in a confined space and it's not as if he has a job which means that no matter what Zoro HAS to see him three times a day at least. Oh wait.

He sniffles and then sits wide eyed in the dark, stunned at the sound. His throat feels tight and he's sniffling. He warily raises a hand and touches it to his cheek. It's wet, he's been crying. He's been crying without noticing it and good lord are there no depths that he won't sink to today?

"Fucking... shitty... loser." He curses himself, leaning his head back against the wood. It's kind of sore where he's been smacking it there. He really should be careful or he's going to give himself brain damage and- great, now he's thinking about Zoro again.

He sighs and squeezes the bag of flour in his hands, picking at the edge of the seams and biting at his lip. He might have had the advantage back there, Zoro can't talk under pressure or when his emotions are running high, but he will talk eventually. Zoro couldn't reject him then and there or be "sympathetic" towards his feelings, but sooner or later it's going to come. He finds himself reminded of the training that Zeff gave him when he was a kid. He used to have a problem with falling badly if he ever got tossed across a room, which of course happened a lot. He'd tense up right before he hit the floor and it'd hurt so much. The hits that hurt the least were the ones that he didn't see coming, where he didn't have time to react. Zeff tried to teach him to fall properly but every time he knew that it was coming he just tensed up and it hurt so bad.

Zeff had taught him the theory of course, to roll with a fall and try to right yourself as soon as possible, to be relaxed so that your muscles don't get jarred from the impact. It took months of Zeff ambushing him and throwing him around before Sanji got it. It's a good thing too because Luffy often grabs him and Zoro and flings them off somewhere in his enthusiasm to get there quickly. He's able to land smoothly now whilst Zoro often ends up with his head lodged in the sand in a sprawled mess.

Goddamnit, he's thinking about Zoro AGAIN.

This situation is kind of like that. He knows that Zoro's rejection is coming and he's tensed up, waiting for it. It's going to hurt all the more for it too. He's going to spend the remaining time between now and when Zoro eventually speaks to him playing the scenario over and over in his mind and torturing himself. And then, because he's so goddamn efficient, afterwards he will then remember it in vivid and terrible detail. Wonderful.

He swallows nervously and gets to his feet. As much as he'd like to he simply cannot hide inside the pantry for the rest of his life. He unlocks the door and steps out into the kitchen. He's pleased to see that no one got in whilst he was hiding. He'd locked the kitchen door of course but there are some people to whom locks are no barrier (Usopp, Nami, Robin) and those who will just barge through regardless (Zoro, Luffy). He's unnervingly pleased to see that Robin isn't there. As much as he adores her this whole thing is her fault. She was the one who pointed out his sentimental reaction to Zoro's note, she's the one who tipped Zoro off to him acting weird. If she hadn't done that then Zoro wouldn't have gone looking for him and made him confess. In a round about way it's her fault.

He knows himself too well to think that he'll blame her for long. It's not in his nature to hold a grudge, much less so against a woman.

He rests his bag of flour on the table top and sighs. He went through all this for a fucking bag of flour, so he may as well use it.

He makes a pie, several actually. A steak and kidney pie which Luffy will no doubt devour. Two chicken and onion pies which will be snagged probably by Usopp and Franky and some of the others possibly too. A vegetarian one which will certainly grab Chopper's interest and a wild mushroom pie that he knows Nami likes. He sets up vegetables, bread, potatoes of both the mashed variety and the boiled. He sets the table up with cutlery, plates and everyone's favourite drinks.

He unlocks the kitchen door and sticks his head out. Zoro is sat on the other end of the ship, facing away from Sanji and looking out to sea. Sanji's stomach tightens in an anxious knot at seeing that Luffy is sitting with him and fishing. It loosens pretty quickly though, Zoro wasn't a gossip even before he lost and then started to regain his powers of speech. Zoro likely won't tell Luffy about what just happened.

He takes a deep, shaking breath.

"DINNER!" He yells at the top of his lungs and bolts back into the kitchen.

Then, because he is a mature and responsible adult, he crosses the kitchen, opens a porthole and escapes out of it. He lands upside down on the the deck outside, the floor connecting painfully with his neck and his ass in the air before he falls over in an ungraceful heap.

Somehow, somewhere Zeff knows that his training has been wasted on Sanji.

He rolls to his feet a little more gracefully and stays crouched out of view of the portholes.

"Where's Sanji?" Usopp asks in confusion.

"I saw him around here." Robin replies smoothly. SHIT. Of course she did, she sees EVERYTHING. She's going to tell Zoro and then Zoro will come out here and-

Sanji leaps upwards onto the wheelhouse and yanks the lever by the wheel, changing the number that it displays.

Zoro comes outside, Sanji can just see the edges of his green hair as Zoro looks around for him. In a second he's going to look up. Sanji flings himself overboard, broaching the surface smoothly with barely a sound or a ripple. He swims under the surface towards the ship and then sticks close to it. He makes his way around the hull of the ship, edging closer and closer to the side where the number dock is open. He'd pulled it open to the number that opens the hull so that the mini-merry can get out.

He paddles his way inside and hauls himself out of the small dock that the mini merry is floating in.

He is a grown man standing in the hull of a ship next to a tiny boat with a sheep head on it, dripping wet from head to toe. All so that he can avoid the man that he blurted his feelings out to. Sanji has the distinct impression that his life has gone horribly wrong somewhere and if he were perhaps to pinpoint the moment where it all started getting weird it would probably have to do with some rubbery asshole firing a cannonball into his restaurant.

He shakes himself off and squelches out of the room, up the stairs and down the hallway. He hides in one of Franky's small workshops and closes the door behind him.

Perhaps he can do this indefinitely. There must be a dozen sneaky escape routes throughout the ship if he was to look for them. He could lock himself in the kitchen, prepare a meal, yell out for it and then make a run for it. When he goes back to cook the next one he'll then eat the last one. It is probably a shitty plan but if he does enough mental acrobatics to not think about it then he can convince himself that it is sensible and entirely workable.

He sits there in silence. He would smoke but his smokes are all wet now and whilst he's perfected a method of drying them out so that they can be smoked again, it takes a few days and can't be done right then and there. No one wants a soggy cigarette, they don't burn and they are deeply unsatisfying.

He's starting to get almost bored when he hears the tell tale thumping of boots on the wooden hallway floor. They are specifically the sound of overly large combat boots worn by someone with absolutely no grace at all. Zoro.

Sanji wouldn't say this stomach fills with butterflies. It feels a little more like his stomach has filled with rabid bats, flapping their wings with menace in an attempt to eat him alive.

He leaps to his feet. He has, in his endless genius, locked himself in a relatively small room with no windows or doors, save for the one he came in through. The door that Zoro is getting rapidly closer to. Sanji walks around in panicked circles. THERE! There's a vent in the ceiling! It's pretty small but it looks like he could fit his head and chest through it at the least. His shoulders are too wide though, that's for sure. Perhaps if he could dislocate one then...

Zoro bangs the door open and Sanji leaps high enough into the air in startled fright to actually hit his head on the vent grating. He makes an undignified squeaking sound.

Zoro stands there in the doorway, filling almost the entire thing and barring any hopes Sanji has of escape. He is glaring at Sanji with the fury of a thousand burning suns and in his right hand he holds a plate with pie on it. Even having grown up with Zeff, Sanji is still not sure that he has ever seen a man looking so angry whilst wielding pie.

"I... ah... hi?" Sanji squeaks.

Zoro glares and advances towards him, pie in hand. The swordsman snarls and Sanji closes his eyes and winces. Maybe Zoro is going to throw it at him, to tell him that he won't eat anything made by someone like HIM. Maybe he's going to do all of that and then attack him with his swords.

Something blunt jabs him in the chest.

Sanji peeks one eye open. Zoro has shoved the edge of the plate into his chest and it glaring at him angrily.

Warily Sanji lifts his hands and takes the plate, his hands curling around the edges of the crockery. He notes that there's a knife and fork on there too. Zoro lets go of the plate and continues to glare at him.

"Uh." Sanji says, needing to fill the silence but having no idea at all about what to say. Zoro continues to glare.

"I just... uh needed some fresh air?" Sanji ventures, his voice venturing higher with the lie. Good god, his lie sounds as unbelievable as one of Usopp's right now.

Zoro looks even less impressed with that explanation and jabs him in the forehead with his finger and growls menacingly.

"Look, if you're going to attack me or yell at me can you just do it? Because frankly waiting for it feels awful, just... go on." Sanji demands, his voice and power of will wavering.

Zoro snorts, unhooks his swords from his belt and leans them against the wall. He sits down on the floor, leaning back against the wall and props his feet up on a small wooden crate. He looks almost casual.

Sanji stands there, his eyes rabbit in the headlights wide.

Zoro huffs, still mute, and raps his knuckles on the floor next to him before jabbing a finger in Sanji's direction. Zoro wants him to sit. In an anxious hurry and tangle of limbs Sanji almost collapses into the space next to Zoro, though still makes sure to keep a distance between the two of them.

He holds his plate in trembling hands and looks across at Zoro's swords. Zoro has disarmed himself so it's unlikely that he's going to react in anger and try to re-skewer him with his blades. At least he won't die for his confession then, that's something.

He leaps a little when Zoro leans into his personal space, but all Zoro does is reach out and grab the fork from the plate. He lifts it and then smacks Sanji in the forehead with it. Sanji takes the hint and grabs the fork. He puts his plate down on the floor and cuts at the pie with his fork, trying to focus all his attention on the task and as little of it on Zoro as he can. His hands are trembling. How has today gone so very wrong?

His stomach is in too many twisted and turned knots to really eat so he just pushes his food around the plate. Eventually, unable to bear the strain any longer he starts to speak. Because, you know, that worked out so well for him earlier.

"Are you gonna punch me and tell me that you're not like that or something?" He asks in a small voice.

Zoro does punch him then, in the shoulder and hard. He yanks on Sanji's right arm and pulls him back so hard that Sanji's back hits the wall. Zoro holds Sanji's arm up in front of his own face and then he reaches out and swipes his finger twice across the top of Sanji's forearm in the sign of an X. It takes him a moment or two for the words to come to him.

"We're nakama." He says numbly. Zoro sighs in a put upon manner and rolls his eyes as if Sanji had just said something as obvious as the sea is wet.

"So you're saying you're not going to hurt me for what I said." Sanji clarifies, searching Zoro's face for any sign that he's wrong.

Zoro lets him go and then just stares at him in a flat unimpressed manner that somehow seems to suggest that if Sanji continues in this particular line of questioning then he might just hurt him out of irritation.

"I didn't mean to say all that back there, I told you that I didn't want to ruin everything. I hadn't been planning on it, I just wanted to keep it to myself." Sanji explains weakly, poking at his pie a little more, separating the crust from the top of the pie.

He glances up at Zoro to see that the man's mouth is twisted unhappily. Is Zoro unhappy with what he said back there or unhappy that he's brought it up again? Had Zoro been intending on pretending it never happened? If so then Sanji has just gone and ruined that too.

'Or maybe' his heart whispers 'he feels bad that you're hurt, because he likes you'

Sanji grits his teeth and shoves down the idea. He's never listening to that fucking thing again, not after all this shit.

"Sorry, shouldn't be bringing it up again. I'm a dumbass." He mumbles, ducking his head and staring a hole in his plate. He's absolutely mangling this pie.

Zoro brought him boiled new potatoes too, he even got him some of the herb butter that Sanji had put on the side for the others. Zoro gets what cooking is like now. Zoro... didn't want Sanji to go hungry, or have to wait until everyone was gone to eat. Zoro stormed down here all angry because Sanji had abandoned a meal and he'd brought him some. It's the mushroom pie, the one he'd have picked himself. His eyes well up again and he stares at the ground until the feeling goes away but he's unable to do that and ignore the swell of 'I love you' that he feels for Zoro because of this.

Zoro sighs heavily and leans forward, touching Sanji's shoulder and turning him until they're looking at each other. Zoro takes a deep breath, raises a finger, looking serious and calm.

He says nothing.

He looks like he means to say something but nothing comes out. He scowls for a second, shakes his head minutely and tries again, dropping his 'I'm making a serious point here' finger to his side. Nothing comes out again. Sanji waits. Zoro tries once more.

"Arghfuarhlh!" Zoro manages in frustration. Well, he forced some sound out.

"I know how you feel." Sanji says weakly. Zoro slaps him on the side of the head and scowls.

"So you want to say something, but you can't manage to." Sanji says, unhappy with the direction that this is going.

Zoro nods and looks at Sanji pointedly. When Sanji says nothing Zoro makes his 'go on' sign.

"And you want me to play twenty questions to try to work out what you're trying to say about the whole subject that I didn't want to talk about in the first place, regret saying because it's probably ruined everything and makes me want to drown myself just thinking about it. That about right?" Sanji asks unhappily.

Zoro nods.

"I fucking hate you sometimes. I'd refuse but I'd feel too bad about it." he says, knowing that it's the truth. Refusing to help Zoro talk when he wants to would be nothing short of mean and exploitative.

"Okay." Sanji says with a deep sigh. He gives up on mangling his cooling dinner and instead massages the bridge of his nose, trying to disconnect himself from the words he's about to say.

"I take it that you do want to talk about what just happened back there in the store room." He says unhappily.

"Uh-huh." Zoro agrees. Well, at least he's a little bit verbal again now.

"Ok, is this going to be you telling me that you hate me and how dare I think anything like that about you?" Sanji asks, not looking at Zoro but wincing all the same. He's tensing up before the metaphorical blow again. He should listen to Zeff, relax, roll with it.

He's not looking at Zoro so the swordsman has to actually smack his arm to get him to look at him. When he does Zoro is shaking his head.

"Ok, well at least you don't hate me." Sanji sighs, the tension in him unwinding ever so slightly.

He continues down his mental path of things that he doesn't want Zoro to say to him.

"Are you trying to say, thanks but no thanks I see you like a brother and 'oh gee poor Sanji with his feelings'? Because I swear if you start patronising me I will stick my foot through your face no matter how I feel about you." Sanji snarls. He's angry now, angry is good, angry isn't feeling like he's going to cry.

Zoro throws back his head and laughs at that. Eventually the swordsman looks back at him, grins and shakes his head.

Sanji's treacherous little heart starts making excited noises.

"So. What then?" Sanji asks, raising an eyebrow.

Zoro sighs, looks at the ceiling as if it has the answers and it can answer for him. He then looks back at Sanji and gives him a theatrical shrug.

'I don't know'

"You... don't know what to say?" Sanji guesses hesitantly.

"Uh-uh. No." Zoro says and shrugs again.

"You... you don't know what you feel?" he says in a numb voice.

Zoro nods, looking a little brighter now.

"Oh." Is all Sanji can manage to say.

"Oh." He repeats again.

His heart is doing a little happy dance in his chest. He wasn't rejected. Okay, his affections aren't returned but his heart is trying it's damnedest to convince him that Zoro might do sooner or later. He shoves the thought down. He's NOT listening. He's not.

"You... we" Zoro asks, touching Sanji's shoulder and turning him to face him a little more.

"Okay?" Zoro manages, gesturing between them. Zoro's asking him if they're ok.

"Yeah marimo, we're ok." Sanji replies, his voice wavering.

Sanji is able to eat just a little bit now. He scoops up a bit of his pie with his fork and manages to eat it, the writhing and fluttering in his stomach having died down into almost acceptable levels now.

"Sorry, I've been acting like a total coward about this." He admits. He's speaking to Zoro but he's effectively admitting it to his plate.

"I just blurted that out and then ran off and then instead of facing you at dinner I escaped out of a porthole and threw myself overboard and hid in here. Real goddamn adult I am." He grumbles. Seriously, isn't he old enough to be past this?

"Nah." Zoro says with a shrug.

"What do you mean 'nah'?" Sanji asks, squinting at him.

"You're not- it's... big." Zoro manages. His brow is furrowed in concentration and Sanji can tell that it's that which is fucking with his speech. Zoro is... he's trying really hard not to say the wrong thing. He doesn't want to mess this up. But why? Is he just concerned about sticking his foot in it and hurting Sanji's feelings or is he trying to make sure that he's honest and work out for himself how he feels.

"Yeah, it's fucking big." Sanji concedes, returning his gaze to his plate.

"I don't even know what's going on with me." He mutters. His life was so much easier before all of these feelings.

The two of them sit in silence for a while whilst Sanji eats a little bit more.

"Hey, wait, I'm eating. Why aren't you eating?" He asks sharply. If Zoro gave him his own dinner then Sanji will force-feed him half if he has to stand on his fucking face and pry his mouth open with a knife!

"Already ate, went fast to find you. Wanted you to have yours, not Luffy." the other man answers with a wry laugh. He knows just how likely it is for there to be leftovers with Luffy around.

"Thanks for that." The cook nods and continues eating, resting easily that Zoro hasn't gone hungry. Although he is a little impressed at Zoro's eating speed, if slightly concerned about him getting indigestion later.

It's not exactly a peaceful or comfortable silence that Sanji eats in. The air between he and Zoro is heavy with awkward tension that neither of them wants to say the wrong thing into. Between his reluctance to bring up his feelings again and Zoro's inability to communicate clearly it feels like the air is full of words left unsaid.

"So. How long?" Zoro asks out of nowhere and Sanji nearly bites his fork in half.

"Please don't tell me you're asking me how long I've-" Sanji gulps. He doesn't say 'how long I've loved you' because he blurted out the L-word once already, he's not going to freak the other guy out more by saying it again.

"Yeah. How long?" Zoro repeats.

"I don't- I don't really know ok?" Sanji whines, putting his head in his hands and abandoning his fork on his plate. He suddenly doesn't feel like eating again.

Zoro pokes him in the shoulder, he's not going to let this go.

"I've always respected you. I mean, I've not always liked you because, you know, you're kind of an impolite, brutish asshole." Sanji answers.

"But you like me." Zoro replies, sounding smug.

"Yeah, apparently I have no taste." he shoots back, swatting Zoro in the chest and making the other man laugh.

"I don't fucking know man. It's not like I've got a hard on for brain injuries or some shit like that, but I guess it changed after that. You don't appreciate how much you need something or someone until you nearly lose them. I mean, we all loved Merry but when... we all knew how much we loved that ship after that. Even if we'd never actively thought about it before, you know?" Sanji says, trying to find the best analogue for his feelings that he can get.

"Yeah." Zoro agrees and the two of them share a respectful silence for their fallen nakama. They have the Sunny and the Sunny is great and loved by all of them, but so was Merry.

"And when you started spending time with me and I got to... I don't know. It's not like you're different now than you were before, I just feel different. It's me that's changed I guess. I never even liked guys, you know me, I love ladies!" He exclaims in frustrated anger.

How has this even happened? He had always pictured himself with some beauty like Robin or Nami, not some brute like Zoro. But Zoro is just what he wants. Zoro makes his heart race and his cheeks flush, he dreams of him and the thought of Zoro rejecting him just breaks him. He loves Zoro, he can't deny it.

"I don't know, I just... I just do. That's all there is to it." Sanji answers firmly and goes back to staring at the ground.

"I figured that I was being..." Sanji trails off. Stupid? Hopeful? Deluded?

He tries again.

"I didn't want to bring it up. I'd planned on not saying anything because-" Nope. There's no way that he can go down that path without sounding like he's begging for Zoro to feel the same back.

"The note." Zoro says, in an ah-hah tone of voice, as if it's just clicked for him.

"You know I'm a sentimental romantic moron, can you blame me for holding onto the one thing I had? If Robin hadn't said anything then none of this would have happened and I wouldn't have said- argh. It's not her fault, I shouldn't be mad at her." Sanji says, though he sounds more like he's trying to convince himself rather than Zoro.

Zoro makes an unconvinced noise.

"Well, whatever. It's too late, you already know." Sanji mutters unhappily.

Even if Zoro hasn't told him outright no, it's still not something that he wanted to talk to him about ever.

"I make- I made you." Zoro says.

Sanji looks over at Zoro. The swordsman looks unhappy, guilty even. He's looking down at his hands and scowling, Sanji thinks that he looks angry at himself.

"It's my fault, I was being a coward and avoiding you, remember?" Sanji reasons. Zoro has nothing to feel guilty about, frankly his reaction is better than anything Sanji had imagined. Well, except for his heart making him imagine Zoro saying yes and feeling the same. That wasn't really imagination though, that was utter delusion.

Zoro looks at him and his eyes are wide with seriousness, his gold eyes bright. He shakes his head firmly, his gold earrings chiming.

"Brave." Zoro says in his no-arguing tone of voice.

Sanji blinks at him dumbly. Zoro... Zoro thinks that he's brave. Brave for... for telling him.

"If I was brave you wouldn't have had to force it out of me." He replies, glancing away. Being under Zoro's gaze feels too hot and uncomfortable, like holding his hand too close to the stove when it's on.

"You can be brave under... under pressure." Zoro says wisely.

"Stop being so nice asshole, I'll start to wonder if Franky built a fake robot Zoro and replaced you whilst I wasn't looking." Sanji teases, elbowing Zoro in the ribs.

Zoro laughs and leans to Sanji's side, resting his head on Sanji's shoulder. Sanji shuts his eyes and just breathes. This didn't go as awfully as he thought. It's nice, just being close to Zoro like this, having him here. Zoro's been nice to him and not in a patronising way either. Not in a 'that's sweet but no' kind of way. He's been honest and sensitive to Sanji's feelings. He breathes deeply and feels himself relax. Even though Zoro doesn't know how he feels and even though Sanji is sure that he's going to come back and say that he doesn't really have any romantic attraction to him, even with all that, this is nice. If he can have this, then it's enough. When Zoro comes back and says the 'no' that Sanji expects, he at least feels a little safer in the knowledge that it's unlikely now to change anything between them. If Zoro was going to react badly then he would have done it by now.

He was all tensed up but there wasn't a fall to prepare for. Or perhaps he fell but didn't hit the ground. Maybe that's what this is, the weightless free fall between the blow and the impact. It doesn't feel like it though.

"You smell like wet sheep." Zoro says, shattering Sanji's blissful thoughts.

"Oh FUCK you! This is my wool suit, don't you dare make fun of me! I only jumped in the shitty ocean to avoid your dumb ass. It's wool, expensive wool too, what did you expect it to be like? At least my clothes get washed anyway, yours practically stand up by themselves when you take them off you gross neanderthal!" Sanji yells and elbows Zoro in the throat.

"I was having a moment! I was thinking nice things about you, but you're STILL an asshole." Sanji snaps irritably.

"Yeah, but you like it." Zoro responds with a shit eating grin.

"You're not going to let that go are you? It's not an excuse for you to get away with shit you know." he points out with a scowl.

"You like ME." Zoro says, re-emphasising for his point.

"Yeah, maybe I'm the one who hit my head. I should go see Chopper, I'm obviously really sick." Sanji deadpans.

Zoro seems to think about that for a second before leaning back and grinning at him. Sanji doesn't like that grin. That's Zoro's evil plan grin.

"Love sick." Zoro responds.

Sanji's. Jaw. Drops.

"I don't love you, I hate you, I'm going to kill you in your sleep and throw you overboard." He snarls, shoving Zoro over and kneeing him in the side. Zoro just laughs loudly. It's a good natured kind of laugh though, not at Sanji's expense.

The swordsman grins up at him as the fight pauses, leaving Sanji leaning against Zoro's shin, his fist half pushed into Zoro's solar plexus. Zoro grins and taps his finger on Sanji's forearm again.

"We're ok." He says simply.

Sanji sits back on his heels and knows that his face is red. Shit like this is why he feels what he does for Zoro. He might be a smelly, tactless brute but... he cares for his nakama. He's insightful and he has a good heart.

"Thank you." Sanji mumbles, picking up his plate and standing up.

"You know, for... bringing me dinner and not freaking out on me." He says stiffly. He's as uncomfortable thanking Zoro as Zoro is to him. Perhaps the two of them are just both new at it, they're far more practiced at arguing and fighting each other than they are apologising, showing gratitude or being sincere. It's new for them.

"Any time shit cook." Zoro responds, still down on the floor.

Sanji nods a little awkwardly and then, plate in hand, he leaves the small work room and heads back to his kitchen.


	14. Chapter 14

Sanji inspects the list that Zoro has written for him. The ship is docked outside of a small town on a winter island so Sanji is dubious about their prospects of gaining fresh fruit and vegetables, nonetheless he's still going to look for them. He and Zoro have spent the last half an hour making up a list of things to look for in town with Sanji going through his supplies and listing out the things that they needed to get. Zoro's job was to write them down.

The swordsman stands, leaning against the counter in a picture of casual nonchalance, but Sanji can read the way that Zoro's got his hands stuffed in his pockets, the way his shoulders are tight. He's more nervous than he's letting on.

"You keep reversing some letters. See, you've got 'string deans' here instead of 'string beans'." Sanji says, pointing the mistake out.

Zoro leans in and squints at the paper.

"I don't... write it for me, I can't see the difference." Zoro scowls, though Sanji knows that it's at himself rather than Sanji.

The cook obliges, writing the word next to Zoro's attempt. He does it in his neatest handwriting too, just so that Zoro can see it as clearly as possible.

"Ugh, it's a stupid mistake, I ought to-" Zoro hisses angrily, leaning back away from the paper, clearly seeing his error now.

"Knock that off shit head." Sanji snaps, kicking Zoro in the ankle.

"Hm... you've got a couple of spelling mistakes here but I think they're genuine, you probably would have made them before. Frankly most people can't spell quinoa, and zucchini isn't much easier either." He concedes.

"You've got a few confusions between c and k too... otherwise the list is good." He says pleased. A week ago Zoro couldn't write or read at all, now he's just a few spelling mistakes away from being back to his normal self.

Zoro however doesn't seem anywhere near as pleased, glaring at the list like it personally insulted him. Sanji kicks him again, this time in the back of the calf and hard enough to make Zoro's knee buckle slightly under him.

"Will you cut that out?!" Zoro snarls at him, getting right up in Sanji's space.

"No way, if you're gonna beat yourself up then I don't see why I can't join in." the cook says primly.

"Funny." Zoro retorts and stuffs the list in his back pocket.

"C'mon, we're burning daylight here and I want to get as much of this as we can." Sanji orders, throwing some large baskets at Zoro's face and leading the way out of the galley with the grumbling swordsman at his heels.

Sanji is surprised at how normal everything is between them. Zoro's not acting as if nothing happened and Sanji's caught the swordsman looking at him thoughtfully more than once. There's also a tension between them that there wasn't before. Whilst close proximity to Zoro's body used to make Sanji hot and bothered it now makes both of them tense. Sanji doesn't know if Zoro is going to get closer or not and Zoro doesn't look any surer about it than he is.

What Zoro isn't doing is making Sanji repeat his confession again, he's not making jokes about it and he certainly isn't treating Sanji like some poor wounded animal that he might injure. It's pretty much the best outcome Sanji could have hoped for.

A wave of longing runs through him and his pace slows a little. Okay, he's lying to himself. The best outcome would have been Zoro returning his feelings, Zoro telling him something sweet like he'd felt the same but never said. Or, you know, indicated it in any way at all.

Zoro kicks him in the ass.

"Move." Zoro barks and pushes past him to Sanji's side. He seems to sense that something is amiss though and his eyes catch Sanji's. He quickly looks away, he doesn't want Zoro to see what he's feeling. He should be happy with how things are, not wishing for things that he doesn't deserve.

Zoro is still watching him thoughtfully and Sanji does everything to look anywhere but him. Hm, maybe his shoes need shining they look a little bit scuffed. Oh, hey, that is definitely Zoro's hand on his chin, tilting his head up to look at him. Sanji's heart flutters in his chest, throwing deluded thoughts and fantasies at him.

Zoro doesn't kiss him, of course. Instead the golden eyed man just pins him to the spot with a searching look.

"I- heh, I was just miles away, off in thought. It's nothing, come on." He says uneasily, pulling away from Zoro's grasp and walking quickly towards the town.

"Usopp." Zoro calls after him, making Sanji freeze.

"Did you just get my NAME wrong?!" Sanji demands indignantly. He's usually unphased by Zoro's mistakes but getting his name wrong hurts.

Zoro frowns, biting his lip and shaking his head.

"Not... not your name. Was looking for a... shit, what's the word?" Zoro mutters angrily, his speech slipping under stress. Sanji pauses, waiting for Zoro to get it right.

The other man's brow creases and he tilts his head back, looking at the cloudy grey sky that hangs over the island, as if it has the answers. All it holds is a threat of snow, not a word that Zoro is looking for. Zoro's mouth works, silently trying on words and rejecting them as not the one he was looking for.

"Liar." Zoro eventually says, looking right at Sanji. The cook feels his cheeks redden.

"I think that's a little harsh against Usopp, using his name instead of liar, he's not that bad." Sanji mutters, dodging the real subject.

"You lied." Zoro restates.

"Fine. I wasn't lost in thought but you know what I was thinking about!" Sanji snarls and turns on his heel marching into town. From Zoro's footsteps on the crisp winter frost he can guess that the other man is right behind him.

"I don't." Zoro says quietly, catching up to him.

"Fucking guess then." the cook mutters. Okay, so everything isn't completely normal, but for the most part it is.

Zoro looks at him. He doesn't look like he feels guilty and his face doesn't read pity either. Sanji doesn't know what that look is. Zoro seems to be sizing him up, but for what he doesn't know. Perhaps he's trying to gauge whether or not Sanji's going to burst into melodramatic tears. Which he absolutely is not thank you very much.

"I think the market's this way." Sanji says quietly, pointing in the direction that he's pretty sure they need to go.

"You sure?" Zoro asks dubiously, squinting at him and looking around.

"Oh hey, guess who's sense of direction we're not following. Yours! You win a prize of being ignored. We're going this way." Sanji says with fake enthusiasm. Zoro scowls at him and 'accidentally' clips him with a basket as they go around the corner. As they are mature adults this does not descend into a shoving match with both of them trying to trip the other up. Both of them would deny it to anyone who would dare accuse them otherwise.

As it happens the market was not in Sanji's direction and, with much wandering, it turns out to be in the direction Zoro had suggested originally. Smugness oozes off of Zoro and Sanji says nothing.

The market is cold and mostly bare, though it's under cover and somewhat warmer than the outside. There are few people in there but not many. Sanji was right in his suspicion that there aren't many fresh vegetables or fruit for sale, he wishes that he'd been wrong though. Those that are for sale are looking a little pathetic, although their winter root vegetables look great. Parsnips and turnips no doubt sweetened to perfection in the frost. He gathers as many of them as he can use before they go off. Some vegetables have clearly been grown indoors, tomatoes and small peppers, though they are far more expensive than Sanji deems reasonable.

The rest of their fare appears to have been traded with other islands and as such carries an extortionate price tag. He is standing before a green grocer, arguing over the price of green beans. He resents having to deal with bastards like this. The two grocers running the stall are middle aged greasy men, one with a pot belly and five day stubble and the other with a dirty grease covered shirt. He's not making any progress in his haggling when it happens.

"Oi, boy, what do you want?" the greasy shirt wearing greengrocer barks in Zoro's direction. He must think that because Zoro is waiting in front of the stall too that he wants something as well.

Zoro opens his mouth but nothing comes out, so instead he shakes his head and gives a weak and fake smile. Sanji continues his argument with the other man, if he breaks his flow now then he'll never be able to haggle a price that won't make Nami drown him the moment he shows her the bill. Even so, he keeps an ear on the goings on beside him.

"No what? I'm talking to you, what do you want?" The grocer demands, his voice starting to veer into the territory of irritated.

A few abortive sounds come from Zoro's throat and the swordsman steps back, still shaking his head and trying to indicate that he's not in line, that he's with Sanji instead.

"What, the guy can't talk? What is he, some kind of retard?" The guy who's been haggling with Sanji asks, losing interest in Sanji and instead looking at Zoro.

"Oi! Don't fucking say that you shit bag!" Sanji snaps furiously. The grocer grins.

"He is, isn't he. Or else why would you be talking for him?" The guy smirks nastily.

"It's none of your fucking business but no, he's not, and even if he was you can't just-" The cook argues, defending his nakama and... and his love.

"Hey... wait. I recognise you. You're that demon pirate... Roro-something." The other greengrocer says, squinting at Zoro.

"Oh shit, yeah! Roronoa Zoro, the famous pirate hunter. He's on that straw-hat kid crew, the one the marines are after so bad. Hah, wonder if they know that he's a retard!" The man crows.

"Shut the FUCK up!" Sanji snarls.

"Well, maybe he's one of those savant things, can't talk or do anything but can swing a... a... sword..." The other greengrocer trails off, his sentence dying in his mouth as Zoro's sword is suddenly pressed to the hollow of his throat.

"I wouldn't move if I were you, or swallow too hard. I also wouldn't suggest opening your goddamn mouths again, not unless you want your heads to be relocated to the floor or possibly a pike." Sanji drawls. Zoro's hand is rock steady and his other is on the hilt of a different sword, clearly ready to give the other the same treatment or to cut this guy's head of scissor style.

"H-hey, tell him to back off. Get him under control." the first one says, his wobbly jowls trembling in fear.

"Hah, even if I could do that, I wouldn't." Sanji laughs and throws a tomato up in the air from where he'd been weighing it in his hand before. He deftly catches it and drops it into one of Zoro's baskets at the top.

"Oi, you need to pay for that." The man says, his eyes narrowing at Sanji.

"Hm, see, no we don't. Not after your shitty attitude. You ought to think yourselves lucky that Zoro's not cut you from balls to brains, which disappoints me because I think you deserve it. So in fair exchange I think we'll settle our haggling match this way: we get to take the supplies we need in exchange for Zoro not decapitating your buddy here and also for having to listen to your shitty opinions." Sanji says lightly and drops the rest of what he needs into another of Zoro's baskets whilst the swordsman glares death at the grocer.

"Okay Zoro, I think we've got about all that this crap market has to offer. Wanna head back then go to a bar?" Sanji suggests brightly, turning to Zoro.

Zoro doesn't move though, his blade still against the throat of the man who so insulted him earlier. He growls deeply and leans forward a little, the blade puncturing the skin, letting a thin ribbon of red run down his dirty shirt.

"Unless you do want to stab him, but if you're gonna do that then get on with it, we 'ain't got all day." Sanji huffs, his hands on his hips.

Zoro finally pulls his eyes off of the man and onto Sanji. He breathes out, short and sharp and pulls his sword back. He flicks it in the air, splattering the small amount of blood onto the frosty cobble flooring before re-sheathing it as naturally as breathing.

The two of them saunter off a fair way and out into the town before Zoro pulls him into an alleyway, dumping the baskets with only the most perfunctory amount of care before leaning against the cold stone wall and shutting his eyes.

Sanji watches, his hands by his sides in tense fists as Zoro's expression melts from one of rage to one of despair and anger. He bites his lip so hard that Sanji thinks he might bite through it, he runs his hands through his hair in a subconscious gesture of calming himself, but it doesn't work. Zoro's mouth starts to tense, his teeth gritted around words that he can't form right now, so Sanji just waits for Zoro to talk first.

"Why?" Zoro finally spits out, his voice tight with rage.

"Why?" He repeats again, but this time his tone is more hopeless, defeated.

"I don't know. You didn't miss anything though, talking to them was fucking awful." Sanji smiles weakly.

Zoro shoves him in the shoulder angrily, he doesn't like being patronised. Sanji takes it, he kind of deserved that even if he was just trying to make light of the situation.

"I don't know why, I don't get brains at the best of times and from what I understand your case is really unusual and hard to predict. There's a reason that Chopper is watching you rather than predicting what's going to happen, no one knows." Sanji sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"All I know is that your speech isn't as good around lots of people and it's even worse when you're stressed out or emotional. Being around a whole group of people that you don't know that are harassing you is a recipe for disaster, it's gonna happen." he continues quietly.

"Laughed." Zoro forces out, his fingers clenching so tight in his fist that his knuckles start to go white.

"Oh fuck them, they stopped laughing real quick when you got your sword out." He snaps feeling angry, not at Zoro but at the reminder of those bastards who dared to laugh at Zoro.

Zoro sighs and glares at the ground. Sanji falls silent. Zoro still looks tense and angry, so though he wants to reach forward and touch the other man, to embrace him, he's sure that it won't go down well. Not just because of their difference in affections for each other but because getting close to an angry Zoro is about as wise as trying to force a cat into a bath, it works out well for no one. Zoro still clearly has more to say but he's not going to pry and press him, just because Zoro can't talk so well right now doesn't mean that he's not allowed his privacy. If he doesn't want to share what's in his mind then he has every right to keep it to himself.

"Marines." Zoro says to Sanji's shoes, his shoulders dropping.

Sanji's brow furrows. The marines? Those men weren't marines, so what does that mean? If he's worried about them telling the marines that Zoro threatened them then... well... he's already got a dead or alive bounty on his head for way worse than that. So that's not it.

His mind snaps to the idea, connecting Zoro's last statement with this one. Those guys laughed, so what about the marines. Will the fearsome Zoro, the demon hunter, the man whose swords can slice through buildings and bisect ships, will he be a joke now? Will they think of him as a mute idiot rather than a foe to be feared?

He changes his mind about touching Zoro, sliding his hand around the back of Zoro's neck and bringing his forehead to the top of Zoro's bowed head.

"If the marines underestimate you for this then that's their mistake. Besides, it'll give some of those idiots a nasty shock if they think this makes you less dangerous." He says softly to him, his voice so quiet that no one but Zoro could hear, even if they were close by.

"You must have scrambled your brains a little you know, because I know you Zoro and this isn't right. The Zoro that I know doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of him outside of his swordsmanship. That's the reason that you look like a man who got dressed in the dark whilst drunk and possibly blind. That's why you're rude and coarse and why you don't bathe anywhere NEAR as much as you should." Sanji tells him, a smile creeping onto his own face.

"The only people whose opinions you care about are your nakama's and even we don't get a full pass on changing your mind on anything, you just listen to us and choose to ignore us most of the time. I think the only person outside of us whose opinion you give a shit about is Mihawk, and he doesn't strike me as the most normal man himself, so I think you're ok there." He reassures him. Zoro laughs, his shoulders shaking as he does.

"See?" He smiles at Zoro.

The swordsman leans back against the wall, putting them at a more or less even height again, though with how Zoro is leaning against the wall he's still a little below Sanji's height. It feels odd because that isn't the way the two of them are, they're supposed to be the same (shut up, Zoro isn't taller, he ISN'T). Sanji doesn't keep his hand on Zoro's neck as he moves, instead he keeps it more or less still, not out of thought just... he doesn't move it. Because of this he goes from having his hand on the relatively neutral back of his neck to something far more intimate, the side of his throat and the corner of his jaw.

Zoro looks up at him, dark gold eyes and perplexingly black lashes, shouldn't they be green too? Sanji's kind of frozen in place, his lungs halted between breaths and his heart caught between beats. Zoro's so close and he just... he could. He catches the movement as Zoro's eyes go from his eyes and to his mouth. They flicker there before going back to Sanji's eyes. He gets to see up close in stunning detail how the slightest blush starts on Zoro's dark tan skin.

Zoro opens his mouth, to speak with but nothing comes forth. His eyes drop to Sanji's lips again and he hears the slight intake of breath. Sanji watches numbly as the redness that balances on the highest point of Zoro's cheekbones gets redder. Roronoa Zoro is thinking about kissing him. Right at this very second that thought is going through Zoro's head, he can see it.

Sanji's brain stutter stops, wrong information fed in and the whole system glitching. Does Zoro want to? Is that why he's thinking about it? Or is he just aware that Sanji wants to kiss him first, or that he might? Is he embarrassed about that knowledge or...?

Zoro breaks eye contact, whatever it was that he was thinking he's decided to shelve for now. Sanji takes his hand back, stuffing them both in his pockets and scuffing his shoe on the floor. Why did he do that? Why, what... agh!

"What now?" Zoro asks, his voice apparently having decided to come back now. Sanji looks at him again and he's standing up to his actual height now.

"I- um." Sanji says, his voice being the uncooperative one now.

"We'd better get back, Nami will want to see the bill and uh... I should... put the stuff away." He mutters out, rubbing the back of his own neck and looking down at the baskets on the floor. He reminds himself that Nami will be pleased that they got some stuff for free, she'll no doubt approve more when she knows what kind of thing it was in punishment for. He tells himself that if he's thinking about that then he's not thinking about the way that Zoro looked at his mouth twice and the desperate wish that he'd just kissed him. But his brain is an excellent multitasker.

Zoro grabs some baskets and before he can grab the rest Sanji snatches them up, keep to have something to do with his nervous hands. The two of them exit the alleyway and Sanji leads the way back to the ship. They get barely ten paces before Zoro speaks.

"Sanji." He says. Not shit cook, not just 'oi', not any other insult or anything. His name. It wasn't rare for Zoro to use his name before his injury, though he preferred insults, but since then Zoro's taken a perverse pleasure in almost never saying Sanji's name. Only now he is saying it. Sanji freezes in place, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Is Zoro going to bring that moment up or...?

"Thanks." Zoro says simply, though the word carries weight to it.

"Nnh, you're... don't mention it, 's the truth." He mumbles awkwardly, trying not to look at Zoro as he leads the way. The rest of the journey is uneventful, save for Sanji's racing heart.

The rest of the conversation happens when the two of them are putting away the food that they bought. Zoro's handing him the beans when he says it.

"You, well, you and Chopper both... said stress makes this... makes this worse." Zoro says a little unevenly. Sometimes even when Zoro gets the words right his sentence still doesn't flow quite right, it sounds a little unnatural on the ear.

"Well, yeah, it seems to as well. Remember when you couldn't talk in front of anyone but me and as soon as you were put on the spot you clammed up? But now it's no big deal and you can talk fine." Sanji answers from within the depths of the fridge. If he rearranges the milk and the jam here then he can get the carrots in their plastic bag there...

"So maybe I should... should... ship?" Zoro guesses. Sanji pulls his head out of the fridge and shoots Zoro a confused look, one that Zoro is almost matching. He seems as perplexed as Sanji is about the word.

"Train." He amends. Ah, that's a mistake type that Sanji doesn't see as much of any more. Zoro thinks of a word that has several meanings and can't quite nail it down, so his brain grabs something in a related category, in this case the meaning of train as transport instead of practice and uses a related word in the wrong category; ship.

"How?" Sanji asks, curious as to the answer.

"I 'unno. Tell you about something stressful?" Zoro shrugs and passes Sanji a can of tinned tomatoes unthinkingly. Sanji resists the temptation to throw it at his head. He is not going to refrigerate something canned and unopened. Zoro then hands him a bag of fresh chicken fillets. That goes on a lower shelf of the fridge.

"So... you're thinking that if you can smoothly make it through telling a stressful event then you can talk under stress?" He says, thinking aloud.

"Yeah." Zoro agrees.

"I don't know, it'd be worth a try but I can't see it working all that well. You talk about painful stuff sometimes but you gloss over all of the real stressful stuff, the meat of it you know? Those are the really stressful parts, reliving how you felt and what you were thinking." Sanji explains, standing up and shutting the fridge door. He takes the meat that they're not using tonight or tomorrow and starts to load it into the freezer.

"I don't do that." Zoro protests, kicking him in the knee.

"You do. But fine, tell me... hm, tell me about the time you nearly cut your own feet off." Sanji asks, trying to scan his memory for a stressful event whilst missing out the ones he thinks that Zoro will consider the worst. Getting Zoro to start out by talking about his loss to Mihawk may well be like using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut.

"Everyone was getting frozen in place with the... uh, white... burning... solid... ah! Wax. So everyone was stuck and we needed to get out and I tried to cut my feet off, but I didn't manage to and then it all turned out okay in the end. Then I got them stitched back on." Zoro explains easily.

Sanji rolls his eyes and shuts the freezer door, leaning against it.

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You cut out all of the details, you didn't say what it felt like being stuck there or what pushed you to the point that you thought a self inflicted amputation was a sensible solution. You didn't tell me how it felt and what kind of pain it was. It's not stressful." He huffs, Zoro's not getting this.

"Well you do it then!" Zoro snaps angrily, his arms folded defensively.

"Ok... feel my pulse first." He commands. Zoro frowns at him but reaches for Sanji's neck. His fingers press into the pulse point at the side of Sanji's neck, to the side of his jugular. He feels it for a little while to measure the speed of Sanji's heart before pulling back and raising a curious eyebrow.

Sanji breathes out, trying to ready himself for what he's about to say.

"Okay, when I was a kid and I was still really new at cooking I managed to screw up. I was with Zeff by this time and whilst he's a great chef he's not that gentle a teacher. If I got shit wrong he wouldn't hold back, he was fond of yelling or giving me a kick to the head if I wasn't quick enough to dodge. I turned out a good cook for it, but it wasn't fun at the time." Sanji starts, trying to picture the scene in his head.

"It's always so noisy in the kitchen, everyone shouting and yelling over each other, trying to get everything done on time. Zeff wasn't about to waste food to let me practice so whatever I made was going to go out to a customer, not just to us but to a real paying person. I was terrified of getting it wrong and I couldn't bear to let Zeff down, I had to prove myself. I was making breaded chicken strips, there was other stuff on the side but someone else was making that, I can't remember who." He continues, he remember so much of it clearly but other details are lost on him, faded by time.

"I'd made sure that the chicken was cooked and the breadcrumbs had stuck really well, but I was convinced that something was going to go wrong and I could feel Zeff watching me from across the room. I went to serve up the first one and I guess my hands were shaking out of nerves because the piece that I picked up slipped out of the tongs that I was holding and landed back in the boiling oil with a splash. I didn't even see it happen it was so fast, but this splash of boiling oil came out of the pan and hit my skin, right here." He says, holding his hand out to show Zoro. He can still see it a little even now, a slight lightness of the skin in the join where his thumb meets his hand on the top.

"I wasn't as used to pain as a little kid and it hurt so badly. It was worse than it being anywhere else because it was my hands, I couldn't damage them and there I was, first real dish for a customer and not only had I fucked up with my mentor watching but I'd hurt my hands too. Before I could do more than scream Zeff grabbed me up and shoved my whole arm under this freezing cold water, washing the oil off before it could burn me more and fixing the burn up. I was crying but I don't know if it was out of shame of failing so badly or pain or what. It took over a month to be fully healed and every day I saw the mark on my hand and it hurt me, long after all the physical pain had gone."

He notices as his story comes to a close that at some point he'd wrapped his arms around himself, holding himself against the pain of reliving that memory. He shakes his arms apart and reaches for Zoro's, he takes his hand and pulls it to his throat, guiding Zoro to his pulse again. It's faster, Sanji can feel it himself without seeing the way that Zoro's eyebrows raise in alarm.

"See the difference? Unless you can tell a stressful memory in that way then this isn't going to work." He says uneasily and tries to calm himself down by distracting himself with rearranging spices. As he goes to reach for one of the spices though Zoro grabs his hand, pulling it closer to himself. The swordsman peers at it, trying to see the mark. He traces the very faint outline with his fingernail. The worst of it long since faded as Sanji had aged from a child to a man, getting faded as his hands grew.

"It was a long time ago marimo, I'm fine." He mutters, taking his hand back from Zoro's warm grip. Zoro doesn't look as convinced though, and perhaps he's right a little. He picked that memory for a reason, it still stresses him out after all.

"I felt like I had a hangover." Zoro starts, his voice making Sanji jump. He's leaning against the sink and looking at Sanji. He frowns suddenly though.

"I don't know, maybe. I've never had a hangover but I guess it felt like that, or hit in the head. I couldn't focus and it hurt, so I didn't notice right away that I couldn't understand people." Zoro continues, his speech just fine. A cold shiver runs up Sanji's back when he realises just what memory that it is which Zoro is recalling for him.

"But then everything sounded so odd. It still sounded like..." Zoro trails off, frowning as he tries to put it into words. Sanji's not sure if it's stress or just trying to get it right. As much as he's worried for Zoro he finds that he really wants to hear the rest of this story, he doesn't know what it was that Zoro was hearing, what it was like for him before.

"Like hearing another language, words but no..." Zoro trails off, snapping his fingers to try and pull the word forth.

"Understanding?" Sanji suggests.

"Yeah, it sounded right though. I knew it was me, not you." The other man says with a sigh, his hand coming up to touch the plate on the back of his head. Sanji's stopped noticing it now for the most part, he doesn't know how aware of it Zoro is. Does Zoro touch it and think about how it changed his life? Does he feel insecure about the fact that everyone can see that he was injured and in a sense how injured he still is?

He remembers Zoro's comment about the marines and wonders if that had crossed his mind at all before he mentioned it. Zoro's not an egotistical kind of guy, but he's got pride. That in itself worries Sanji, he's seen men do very stupid things indeed because of pride.

He should be paying attention to what Zoro is saying though. He wonders what it must have been like, hearing voices and having no understanding at all. How did Zoro know that they weren't all playing some kind of awful prank on him. Obviously they wouldn't ever do that but how did he automatically know the difference? Was it some kind of innate sense or did their voices themselves tell him?

"So what? You recognised our accents or the pattern or... how did it sound?" Sanji asks with a frown.

"Mhn..." Zoro makes a non committal noise and leans against the sink, staring down at the floor with a frown. A feeling of worry spikes in Sanji's chest.

"Are you having trouble talking? Is it getting worse? Because if this is too stressful you can-" Sanji starts, not wanting Zoro to stress himself out too much. It was his dumb idea in the first place but he doesn't want Zoro to hurt himself just out of a desire to prove that his idea was a good one.

"No, asshole. Just... thinking." Zoro snaps at him irritably.

"Oh." Sanji says, a little embarrassed. A thought creeps across his mind and he smirks at Zoro, leaning into his personal space.

"No wonder you're taking so long marimo, I could see the gears slowly turning in there." Sanji teases.

Zoro flings his arm out to the side and the back of his hand smacks loudly into Sanji's chest with a jolt that stutters the laugh coming out of Sanji's mouth.

"Ok, when you're in a bar that speaks your language." Zoro starts, rubbing his chin as he talks.

"As in, the people in the bar around you are speaking your language?" Sanji questions, Zoro's statement not being entirely clear.

"Yeah. So you can tell it's right, but you can't hear what people... what they... fuck... what they're saying." the swordsman manages.

"So it's..." The word seems to fail Zoro.

The swordsman sighs and rubs at his face with both hands, the breath coming forced out of his fingers. The worst thing is that there isn't really a word for what Zoro is describing, it's a pretty abstract concept for something which Sanji thankfully has no real way of relating to.

"It's just all..." Zoro tries again, making a complicated hand gesture behind his head, his fingers making snarled up patterns and indistinct shapes.

"Like background noise?" he suggests.

"Yes! But it's a thing of sound all... flowing together. I can't pick out words it all just..." Zoro scrunches his hands together.

"You couldn't separate words and understand them, huh?" Sanji says sympathetically.

Zoro seemed so isolated at the beginning and at the time Sanji understood why but now he has a better idea of what it felt like, what Zoro heard when they tried their hardest to talk to him.

"Whenever I tried to think of a word I could but as soon as... it just vanished. Couldn't even think-" He says with a shake of his head.

"I tried to say- nothing would come out and... and it was... felt like choking. Just... in my throat I-" Zoro says, his voice coming out almost as if he's hyperventilating around it. Sanji watches him, he isn't quite that far into panic yet but he is more unsettled than he usually ever is. Sanji doesn't know if it's the stressful memory or the fact that his speech is deteriorating so fast that's getting to him. Either way he's not going to let this go on if it gets much worse.

"And when I did get- it was wrong and I KNEW that but- but- had to. Something- anything. Like throwing up... all letters and-" Zoro says, shaking his head. His grip on the edge of the sink is getting white knuckle tight and Sanji edges a little closer to him.

"Then he- uh- hat... scar- fuck... Luffy shouting and-" Zoro continues, forgetting even his captain's name. Sanji frowns, this has started to go too far. He leans over and places a hand on Zoro's shoulder, Zoro shakes him off though, gripping the sink with both hands.

"Shouting at- no- I- thought I was- that I broke... promise- dy-dying." Zoro stumbles out. He is hyperventilating now, there's no two ways about it, he's visibly starting to shake too.

"Okay, alright Zoro. Stop." Sanji orders him, moving before the pale swordsman and placing his hands on both of his shoulders. Zoro's arms come up and his hands wrap around Sanji's forearms, his grip tight and his nails digging in like he's holding on for dear life.

"Come on, let's sit down. With me... okay." He says soothingly, kneeling down and taking Zoro with him. Zoro goes unevenly, almost losing his balance and eventually just leaning into the cupboard underneath the sink and just sliding down its door. He sits on the floor, his legs spread haphazardly with Sanji crouching between them.

Zoro looks up at him, eyes wide in fear and his mouth opening with no sound coming out. He's trying to talk and can't and in the process is scaring himself and stressing himself out more, he's not going to be able to get a word out like this and it'll just keep getting worse.

"Okay Zoro, just listen to me. Can you still understand me, don't talk just nod or shake your head." he says with calmness he doesn't feel.

Zoro stares at him, his eyes searching Sanji's face. His hand comes up to Sanji's mouth, his fingers touching Sanji's lips with trembling fingertips. Either Zoro can't understand him right now or he's finding it really hard to. This is beyond bad.

Sanji tries to keep calm, he has to keep calm. Zoro was just telling him that when Luffy freaked out on him he'd thought that he was dying. That's terrible enough to warrant a hell of a lot of thought but right now isn't the time. Right now Zoro needs him and he needs to be calm.

"Breathe." He says, keeping it simple. Zoro traces the pattern on Sanji's mouth and Sanji repeats it again for good measure.

"Br-ea-the." Zoro forces out, breaking the word into odd syllables.

"You've got it. Do like I do, ok? Breathe in." Sanji says and holds one hand up. He breathes in slowly and theatrically, counting off to four on his fingers. Then he holds his index finger on his other hand up to his mouth, almost as if to indicate quiet and counts to four with his fingers, holding his breath. Then he breathes out for four seconds, counting it out on his fingers. He waits for four seconds, again counting them out on his fingers.

Throughout all of that Zoro just stares at him in confusion, his chest rapidly rising and falling as he breathes short panicky breaths in and out. When Sanji starts his second round though Zoro seems to get it. His in breaths are shaky and he can't quite make it to four, but Sanji goes with it, modifies it to three seconds in, holding for three and so on. Eventually they are both able to make it to four together, chests rising and falling in calming synchronisation.

"Okay, you're doing really well." Sanji says, his words smooth and soothing. Zoro swallows thickly and then nods. He points at his own ear and then to Sanji. It's mime and Sanji doesn't like it but he does like it's message.

"You can hear me again." He translates. Zoro nods, his eyes shut and the strongest scowl on. He leans into Sanji slightly and awkwardly crosses his legs so that he's sitting almost as if he's meditating. Sanji's has to switch from kneeling to crouching on his toes to accommodate Zoro's shift but it's okay.

He rubs wide soothing circles on Zoro's back, from the bottom of his ribcage to the top of his neck and as wide as the breadth of Zoro's torso. He circles around and around, enough that the skin on his palm starts to feel tingly with too much sensation. Zoro leans forward and rests his arms on Sanji's raised knees, dropping his own head onto his folded arms. His breathing slows to normal but Sanji can still feel just how tight Zoro is, like a rope pulled so hard it's starting to fray right before it snaps.

"You're ok." He assures him.

"'m weak." Zoro says, voice shaking but thankfully back.

"Uh-uh. I try to protect weak people but I don't really respect them. You're not weak, you're strong. Being stressed out and then not being able to talk and understand all over again would make me wanna hurl from being so scared. I count the fact that you didn't upchuck on my nice shoes a victory." Sanji smiles weakly and rubs Zoro's back a little more, smaller movements though this time. His hand is settled between Zoro's shoulder blades and he's rubbing under and down Zoro's spine with just his thumb. He feels the laugh that he can't hear, a sharp huff of breath that Sanji knows well enough to be a sign of Zoro's quiet amusement.

"Worked. The stress." Zoro says in short grammatically incorrect sentences.

"Yeah, making you stressed out does fuck with your speech, but I'd rather you didn't nearly pass out in the process. Though, I suppose at least you've got a benchmark now and you can pretty much only go up from here so..." Sanji trails up with a shrug.

"Yay." Zoro says in the flattest most sarcastic voice that Sanji has ever seen. He looks up from his resting place on his arms to do it though.

"I'm serious though, I'll help you stress test this thing for you if that's what you want, but you've got to promise me you won't push yourself this far. This is... this is like training to injury." Sanji explains with a frown. Zoro's nose wrinkles in distaste at that idea.

"Yeah, see, you wouldn't treat your body like that. You listen to it, so the same applies to your head. Don't burn out and get a panic attack on me like that. It's bad for you and it's bad for my fucking heart, you're gonna give me grey hairs here marimo." he says, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hmm." Zoro hums thoughtfully and reaches out to Sanji's hair. He combs his fingers through it, the feeling of his fingers running through Sanji's hair enough to send sparks up his spine. That is until Zoro plucks one out of his head.

"Oi!" Sanji rebukes him, clapping a hand to his stinging scalp.

Zoro takes the hair to his eyes, it's blonde of course, but he pretends to examine it thoughtfully.

"You're ok." Zoro teases him, flicking the hair back at him.

"You're an ass. Show me your hands marimo, I want to see if you're still shaking." Sanji demands leaning forward to take them in his own hands.

There's a slight tremor there, but Sanji isn't sure he'd have spotted it if he wasn't looking for it. He bites his lip thoughtfully and turns his attention to Zoro's cheeks, he's not pale anymore either, in fact there's even a little bit of redness starting to return to his cheeks.

"You're a lot better. Let me just..." Sanji leans in a little more, his legs tilting forward so that his crouched legs are against Zoro's folded ones, his knees almost to Zoro's hips.

He reaches his hand out and presses it right over Zoro's heart. It's still a little fast. He knows that Zoro's athleticism is insane, even for their incredibly strong crew. It was a little thing that Chopper did when he joined the crew. He tested each of the crew as they were waking up, before they got out of bed, to see what their resting heart rate was. All of them had low heart rates, a sign of a strong heart. Zoro's however was the lowest. Sanji had teased him at the time of course, saying that even Zoro's heart was lazy.

At the moment through Zoro's heart is going far faster than normal. Not as worryingly fast as it could be, not fast for a regular person. It's normal though he supposes, considering what Zoro's just-

The swordsman leans forward and at first Sanji thinks that Zoro's fainted, not something that he needs. But he's not. He swoops in faster than Sanji can process and, oh, hey... he's... kissing him. Or rather, their lips are pressed together but Zoro's not really doing anything and Sanji's too confused and stunned to even move.

Zoro pulls back after a split second. As soon as he moves though Sanji's entire system boots up again and screams at him that Zoro just KISSED HIM. He gasps and follows Zoro, moving to kiss him this time and in earnest. He hears Zoro gasp though and his head pulls back so fast and sharp that the edge of his repaired skull hits the steel rim of the sink hard enough to send a loud ringing clang out of the basin.

"Shit." Sanji curses, pulling back.

He stares at Zoro and sees that Zoro's face is set in a kind of horrified terror, not unlike Usopp's face right after he's broken something of Nami's or Franky's and knows that it's going to end badly for him. It's an 'oh shit' expression. Sanji grits his teeth and shuts his eyes, turning his head slightly away from Zoro. Now he's having to remind himself to breathe.

"That was just an impulse huh?" Sanji asks, opening his eyes to look at Zoro. Zoro's hands are over his mouth now, probably in shock at what he just did but some part of Sanji feels like maybe Zoro is defending himself against Sanji reciprocating. That thought feels like an icy knife to the heart. He tells himself sharply that Zoro wouldn't mean it like that, he wouldn't, Zoro trusts him and he's never given him reason to do otherwise.

"You didn't mean it, just adrenaline?" He guesses and Zoro starts to nod but pauses, his face pulling into an expression of regret.

"Yeah. Thought so." Sanji stands up with a sigh. He steps well out of Zoro's space and leans against the counter, his head resting on the spice cupboard door. He had wanted Zoro to kiss him, dreamed of it even, and now he has and it was a mistake. Just a fleeting adrenaline high stray thought turned into an action, one immediately regretted.

Zoro gets to his feet a little unsteadily, probably a little lightheaded from before. Sanji doesn't look at him though, he's too busy staring down at his chopping board and thinking about being careful what he wishes for. Zoro's hand lands in the crook of his elbow and Sanji lets himself be tugged around to face Zoro. The swordsman's expression is almost pleading, but for what Sanji doesn't know. For him to listen? But Zoro's not saying anything, or at least not right now. Pleading for forgiveness for doing something so impulsive and thoughtless to Sanji's feelings? Zoro doesn't manage to say anything for a while and to be honest he looks like he doesn't even know where to start.

"I'm sorry." He eventually manages.

Sanji feels something inside him snap. Like an elastic band pulled too far finally giving in or the feeling of a bone breaking under too much force.

"Don't you fucking DARE!" He yells, shoving Zoro back hard.

Zoro reaches for his swords and it's a good thing too because Sanji lashes out with the heel of his foot. His shoe connects to two of Zoro's crossed blades, he's not drawn wado yet, this is purely defensive.

"I don't NEED or WANT your fucking pity for this, or anything else!" Sanji snarls at Zoro, pushing back against him harder and managing to make Zoro's feet slide further along the kitchen floor. Rage and hurt giving him strength.

"You dragged how I feel out of me, I didn't WANT to tell you because the last thing I wanted was your pity. Poor Sanji and his pathetic fucking feelings!" He roars and spins into a kick that Zoro blocks with the flat of his blade.

"Said sorry!" Zoro insists. Sanji sees red.

"You know what? Fuck you." He hisses, pulling back. He backs up along the kitchen, the two of them stuck in the meter and a half wide gap between the two counters on either side. There's no sidestepping here, just attack or retreat.

"You splattered your brains out on a rock and I never once pitied you. Nothing changed for me, I didn't want to pat you on the head and pity you or say well done for trying. Damn near everyone else did but not me! And don't fucking kid yourself by saying that's not the reason you started talking to me again, I trusted you enough to push you because I didn't pity you." He shouts. Okay, maybe this is a low blow but he needs to get Zoro to understand just how godawful being pitied by Zoro is.

"YOU!" Zoro snaps, pointing a finger in Sanji's direction.

"Me WHAT?" the cook yells back. Zoro sheathes his swords and pushes his way back into Sanji's space. He catches his hand, palm to palm and then he pushes his thumb up, against Sanji's fingers and pushes them back. Not enough to hurt, not even enough to be a threat, just a reminder. Zoro raises an eyebrow at him; get it?

"That was me being selfish, I couldn't lose you again. And in my defence you know I was misinformed, that's not my fault." Sanji mutters, looking down at the floor.

"I know." Zoro answers, lightening some of the heaviness in Sanji's chest.

"But it wasn't pity, my point still stands. If you start pitying me for this I'll die. I'd rather you did anything than that, break my face in anger or pretend I never said anything just not... not that." Sanji says in a strangled voice.

Zoro lets him go and growls in frustration, his hands fisting in moss green hair. He bares his teeth in anger, though Sanji has a feeling that it's facing inwards rather than at him. He's trying to say something and can't, it's not fair of Sanji to leap ahead in this argument when Zoro can't talk under stress. They just proved that after all. God he's such a jerk, why does he-

"Not FOR you. FROM me." Zoro chokes out, his words making no sense.

Sanji frowns and looks at him, turning the words over in his mind. Zoro's telling him that he's wrong, but how? What does Zoro mean, not for him. Not sorry for him? Zoro's saying that he's not sorry for Sanji, so not pity. But what does he mean by 'from me'? He's saying sorry from him? That doesn't make sense.

"Shit thing to do. Shouldn't." Zoro continues, sentences broken.

"You're... you weren't sorry for me, you weren't pitying me for how I feel." Sanji guesses. Zoro's face lights up and relief seems to wash over him, Sanji can almost track the movement of the emotion across Zoro's whole body. He relaxes, his hands drop out of his hair and Sanji sees the tense breath flow out of him.

"Shouldn't have done... not until I'm sure about- I don't know how I-" he explains.

Sanji laughs flatly, that's the dumbest thing that he's ever heard. Sure, it's a nice thought. Zoro's not wanting to jerk around with his feelings until he comes to a conclusion and that's nice. That's what he had been doing up until then, that's why not much had changed between them. But Zoro kissing him isn't something that can be undone, there's no point in locking the stable door after the horse has bolted. God, that's the kind of thing that Zeff would say, a stupid metaphor. But there's no taking back what he just did. Not in an awful kind of way but he's done it now. Sanji can't get un-kissed, it doesn't work like that.

"That's fine, but you just did. So you ought to know how you feel." he points out. It's true though, he doesn't want it to be. He wants Zoro to keep thinking about how he feels because then the possibility is still there, however small, that Zoro wants him. It's hope and it's all Sanji has.

"What? No! I don't!" the other man insists, like Sanji is a fucking dumbass for even saying it.

"Sure you do! You kissed me and it did nothing for you! If it had done then you would have felt something, the fact that you didn't gives you your answer! I could go out there and kiss Franky if I wanted, I don't want to but I'm physically capable of it and if I did it'd do nothing for me because I don't like him like that!" Sanji yells in exasperation.

"Didn't count!" Zoro says, shaking his head and pushing his hands against Sanji's shoulders, pinning him to the wall as if Sanji would escape if he didn't keep him right here.

"Jesus fucking christ Zoro, we're not five! You can't have take-backs on this sort of thing!" Sanji says, slapping his palm to his forehead. This conversation is getting frankly ridiculous and the fact that Zoro has him shoved up against the wall like they're preteens arguing and threatening doesn't help.

"Was too quick! Hadn't time to feel anything!" Zoro argues, his speech nearly back to normal but still with words plastering over the cracks of absent ones.

"You were the one who pulled away dumbass and I think that-" Sanji starts, but gets interrupted yet again.

Zoro makes this noise, this exasperated and irritated noise. If Sanji had to sum up their entire relationship that noise would do pretty well. It says 'dear god you frustrate me so fucking much'. It's all of their friction put into a one syllable wordless sound. An 'uuuuugh' of mismatched personalities which are so opposite but so identical.

Zoro rolls his eyes whilst he does it but before Sanji can snap at him or argue Zoro leans in and kisses him again.

Sanji's brain fizzes like champaign and all rational thought bubbles away. This is nothing like before. Where that time was a chaste and sudden press of stunned lips, an impulsive stupid gesture on Zoro's part, this is a different creature altogether.

Zoro's hands go from holding him in place to really touching him. One hand comes up to Sanji's jaw, sliding along the bone so that the heel of his palm is at the edge of Sanji's jawbone by his ear, his thumb up on Sanji's cheekbone and moving softly whilst his long calloused fingers slide into Sanji's hair. When Zoro's other hand moves from Sanji's shoulder to the wall behind him, letting Zoro lean in and press his chest along every line of Sanji's then the cook gasps into the kiss. Zoro, as always, presses his advantage. Like Sanji retreating in a fight Zoro moves to fill the space and exploit the move. Their kiss goes from closed to open mouthed, Zoro's air mixing with his own as the two of them half kiss and half clash.

Sanji reaches out and grips Zoro's hip, pulling him closer as if to get rid of any space between them. He feels like he'll fall apart if he doesn't have as much of Zoro against him as possible, holding him together and keeping him whole. Sanji must be falling, how else can he feel so weightless?

This is everything like fighting and nothing like it. A stark contradiction in meaning that fits just right. Like their fights this is filled with the same push-me pull-you routine, knowing each other's space so well that neither of them has to think about how it works. Logistics isn't an issue, he knows Zoro's strength and habits as well as his own, he's studied them and Zoro has done the same back. This is why they fight each other every bit as well as they fight other people, back to back in an unrivalled force. He never gets caught by Zoro's blades because he knows how he'll move and Zoro knows where he'll be. The swordsman never gets kicked because the two of them navigate their space flawlessly. This is just like that, no need to think about how to get each other closer or how to make the kiss deeper, they both just do it.

But at the same time this is nothing like fighting. None of the adrenaline rush of a fight could possibly compare to this. In a fight there is aggression, obviously, but here it's gone. He knows as easy as breathing that if he pushed Zoro away that this would be over, no fight, no question. Zoro isn't taking from him and neither is Sanji, they're doing this together and it doesn't work just one way.

He can hear himself, he's whining and gasping into the kiss and though Zoro remains silent he speaks well enough with his body. The grip in Sanji's hair is getting tighter and Zoro's gone from just leaning in to bodily shoving him against the wall. Sanji could take his feet off the floor and not move an inch.

But eventually he does move, Zoro pulls back, slowly but naturally. The kiss stops and the two of them are left, forehead to forehead, panting from excitement and prioritising excellent kissing over breathing. That was unquestionably the best kiss Sanji has ever had in his life.

"Ah, fuck." Zoro mumbles. "Didn't want to- not 'til I was sure."

"You still don't know how you feel? But- that can't just have been me there, right?" Sanji frowns, panic starting to claw inside of him.

"Quit putting words in my mouth." Zoro argues, pulling back and smacking Sanji in the side of the head.

"You said you weren't sure!" Sanji argues. Zoro had said that, how else was he supposed to take that?

"I wanted to make sure I felt- that wasn't just owing." the other man says, pulling back complete now and rubbing the back of his neck uneasily.

Sanji's mind takes an age to kick in and process what Zoro just said, but when he does it his him like a tonne of bricks.

"You're doing this because you think you owe me? For what? For helping you speak again?" Sanji balks, wide eyed in horror. No way! He wants Zoro to want this because... well... because he wants him, not because he feels like he owes him for something Sanji did out of care and respect of him.

"Hope not! But that's why I wasn't SURE, dumbass. Didn't want to do that to you... or me." Zoro groans and smacks Sanji in the arm.

"Oh. I thought you weren't sure about... about seeing me like that." he murmurs, starting to feel very, very stupid.

"I don't know. Maybe. I didn't before all... before..." Zoro halts, gesturing to the back of his head.

"But- didn't know you as well, didn't listen to you or stop arguing long enough to-" Zoro gestures fruitlessly.

"So you don't know if it's because you owe me or because it's real." Sanji concludes.

Zoro nods and Sanji considers this. He chews his lip in thought.

"I didn't know if there was some fucked up reason for me starting to like you. Like... you needing me or something. I really don't think it is but, I don't know, I guess the worry kind of lingers." Sanji admits uneasily. He doesn't want Zoro to think that it's a likely situation but it had more than just crossed his mind. He remembers the kick in the gut feeling he had when Zoro started being able to talk around other people and when Franky and Brook were able to help him. That hadn't made him like Zoro any less though, he'd just been selfishly worried that it meant that Zoro could never forgive him and be okay with that.

"It's hard to... to pull them apart. What happened and... this." Zoro agrees, gesturing to the space between him and Sanji.

He suspects that it's not that Zoro doesn't know a word that could describe what's going on, but more that he's hesitant about putting a label on it. That's something that he can appreciate, though not a problem that he has. After all, he blurted out that he loved Zoro right to his face, so he's not exactly got much else to hide.

"Maybe it doesn't matter, if we can't separate this from what caused it then... maybe we just go with it." Sanji suggests hopefully.

"It matters to me." the other man asserts, straightening up and shoving his hands in his pockets with a sigh. Zoro turns to leave the kitchen, leaving Sanji with a heavy and worried heart.

Zoro pauses midway between him and the door out of the room. He turns, and looks at Sanji softly.

"Thanks for... the breathing thing. And... you know." Zoro mutters, not making eye contact.

"Eloquent as ever, moss brain." Sanji teases.

"Fuck off." Zoro shoots back, it should be mean but the pair of them are grinning at each other like idiots. There is of course the possibility that they are both idiots but if that's the case then he's happy like this.

"I meant it though, don't push yourself that far again. There's training yourself and then there's hurting yourself and I'm not gonna participate in the latter, you stupid, shitty, moss brain." He says firmly. If Zoro has any intention of deliberately doing that again then he's not going to be even vaguely supportive.

"I got it. You'd stop me anyway, I trust you. I'm gonna go have a nap." Zoro says offhandedly and wanders out of the room, oblivious to the fact that his casual declaration of easy trust hits Sanji just as deep as the blade through his chest did.

The mark that Zoro left on either side of his torso itches, it's just healing but it reminds him of just how bad things can get with Zoro. Just because they're nakama doesn't mean that he can't fuck things up. The two of them never communicated perfectly before Zoro's speech went awry. It'd be all too easy to do that again and fuck this thing up before it's even begun. His head is telling him sensible rational things and he needs to keep that in mind. His heart however is just replaying their kiss over and over again. He hopes they get to do it again, sometime soon, right now would be nice...


	15. Chapter 15

Sanji and Zoro sit opposite each other in the rigging that runs up to the mast, the square nets that are vital for securing things in a storm and for getting up and down safely even when the weather is bad. The two of them are checking it for frays or rot. It's a vital task but that doesn't make it any less dull. Sanji is on the ropes on the left hand side of the mast and Zoro on the right.

"I nearly drowned once." Zoro says suddenly, obscured behind the mast.

"I need more detail than that if this is gonna work." Sanji replies absent-mindedly as he tugs on a section of rope and runs his sensitive fingertips over the cords in it. No fraying here.

"Okay, not that one. Uh... What about the time I lost to Mihawk, does that count? Stressful enough?" Zoro asks with a creak of rope from his side.

"Is that stressful enough. Use full sentences marimo." he reprimands the swordsman.

"Full sentences like 'shove your grammar down your throat, I'm not gonna talk like a robot' how's that?" Zoro asks acerbically.

Sanji huffs and lets himself fall backwards, his knees and feet locked in place on the rope. He catches his hands in the net underneath him and arches his back and cranes his neck so that he can see Zoro.

"How about you go fuck yourself marimo?" he counters, getting to watch Zoro's scowl first hand this time. It's always so much more satisfying when he can see it. Zoro spots him and his eyes widen comically.

"How can you even- do you actually have a spine, shit cook?!" Zoro balks at his twisted position.

"Sure I do, I'm just flexible." Sanji shrugs. He probably shouldn't be able to shrug in this position as he bent nearly double on himself, but he can.

Zoro regards him with narrowed eyes.

"Is that... oh. I don't know the word. Saying one thing but meaning something dirty." Zoro says biting his lip and looking down at the floor as if the word is there.

"You mean was that innuendo? It wasn't but, you know, now that I kind of can do that to you..." Sanji trails off and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Zoro. The swordsman snorts and moves further along the rigging, slightly out of Sanji's sight as he checks new sections of rope. Sanji laughs and lets go of the rope, curling his body back the right way up with a pull of his abs. He blinks as the blood goes out of his head a little but he's over it almost immediately. He's so trained from flipping up and down and everywhere in fights for it to phase him too much.

"Ignoring your dumb flirting love-cook, do you think it'll work?" Zoro asks again.

"I don't know. I found watching you get cut in two pretty traumatic and I didn't even know you, it was a big deal to you though right? And you know it depends on the detail." Sanji answers with a frown.

"Okay, so we were at the Baratie, but you were there. You know that and Mihawk-" Zoro starts.

"Oi, remember you promised that you'd stop if you started panicking like last time. Fainting or getting a panic attack this high up in the rigging is about the worst thing you could do, so don't you fucking dare!" Sanji interrupts, his voice harsh.

"Ugh, yes. Stop being a baby about it." Zoro grumbles, out of Sanji's sight and out of his range for a kicking, damn. Excuse him for giving a shit about Zoro's wellbeing.

"I couldn't believe my luck you know? I mean sure I'd been keeping an eye out for rumors of him for years but joining Luffy was when I really committed to going out and finding him. I was committed to it before but I had planned to train more before setting off to the Grand Line. But when Luffy says go..." Zoro says with a soft laugh.

"Yeah, I get ya. I think most of the crew technically counts as victims of kidnapping." Sanji snickers in amusement.

"Hey, you agreed and Robin showed up without anybody even asking her." Zoro points out.

"Oi, don't say it like that. And anyway I was conspired against, Luffy and my old man planned it together. I was half stolen and half evicted." He points out. It's not that he didn't want to go but Luffy doesn't really take no for an answer when he wants you on his crew.

"So I'd not even been sailing with Luffy a week and then... he was right there. I couldn't believe my luck, it was so easy." Zoro says and Sanji notes the pause in the creaking of rigging. Zoro has stopped what he's doing. Sanji is a little concerned but says nothing about it, he has to let Zoro test himself and he can't just keep running in whenever he's worried about him. Not that it'll stop him worrying of course.

"I knew his face from... from posters but he looked different in person. I thought he'd have more... more muscles or... I don't know. He was different is all." Zoro muses.

"Yeah, it's weird. I'd never thought about it but you look like you're stronger than him physically, I've seen your muscles." Sanji comments, glad that Zoro can't see his blush. Has he ever seen his muscles. The fantasies he has about...

Sanji shakes the idea out of his head and shifts awkwardly, he shouldn't be thinking about this right now.

"Makes me... a-am I training right or- or- or-" Zoro stutters, his speech cutting into shaky chunks. Sanji's hands tighten on the rigging, it's happening again.

"Best chance of breathing- no, beating him is is is when I when I'm youn younger and if- if I'm wasting my time by... by doing it wrong then- then." Zoro says in a somewhat strangled tone.

Sanji silently slips out of the rigging, putting his feet on the ropes rather than resting on his thighs like the ropes are a seat. He climbs down a little so that he can see Zoro and peers at him silently. Zoro's brows are drawn low in a troubled scowl. He watches Zoro swallow thickly and take a deep breath and shake his head. Zoro trusts his gut and Sanji hopes that this is no different. In the time that he's known Zoro he's grown so much stronger and more skilled, he can't be wrong, surely. Maybe Mihawk is just built like Sanji is, where his muscles get stronger and leaner without him getting that much bigger. Zoro is the type whose strength gain can be almost measured in the girth of his biceps.

"So I challenged him and... he didn't laugh but... he may as well. He knew there wasn't any chance of me def-def... ugh, of me beating him. But he let me. Guess he saw how... how bad I wanted it. But he took that tiny knife and- made me so mad." Zoro says with a flash of gritted teeth and a pulled back snarl on his lips. Sanji frowns. He remembers watching it and though Mihawk obliged Zoro with a fight, a fair battle rather than just obliterating him, he still used the smallest knife he had and insulted Zoro. But he suppose that the man was trying to make a point, that Zoro wasn't anywhere near ready enough to even warrant his swords whilst still being worth a fight either then or in the future.

"But he used his sword in the end, you showed him." Sanji says softly and Zoro jumps, snapping from his reverie. He looks down and sees Sanji looking up at him. Zoro leans forward and folds his arms around the ropes and rests his chin on his folded arms. He smiles down at Sanji, soft and sweet in a way that makes Sanji's heart throb.

"Yeah, he did." Zoro says quietly.

"But I lost badly. I've beat people that badly before, I don't even remember their faces, if I beat them that easy then they're not worth remembering. But Mihawk remembers me." Zoro says thoughtfully, his speech back to perfect levels again.

"He knows the man who'll take his title when he sees him." Sanji asserts defiantly. For all of the crew it's not a question of if Zoro achieves his dream but when. He knows that the common quiet consensus is that Zoro is going to be the first to achieve his dream. Unless they stumble across All Blue first of course, but that's not something anyone can plan for. Nami can't finish her map until she sees the whole world and Luffy still has so much further to sail, Robin has so many more poneglyphs to find and read... Zoro's going to do it first, he's sure of it.

"I knew I was beat, nowhere... nowhere near ready. I was s-so idiotic to think that that I was even close to ready. Couldn't pass up the chance though, don't regret it. I'd do it again if I had the choice." Zoro says with that firm kind of tone that Sanji knows he can't argue with.

"I'd- I'd lost an... he was gonna uh... um..." Zoro cuts out, closing his eyes as he tries to work out the word. He takes one hand off of the ropes and makes a motion, a slashing motion. Sanji bites his tongue, he doesn't want to just put words in Zoro's mouth, Zoro doesn't appreciate people doing that anyway.

"Cut." Zoro mumbles, his hand resting on the scar on his chest. Sanji tries to gauge if he can jump from his rigging to Zoro's and with a squint he works out that he should be able to. He climbs around to the inside of the rigging on his side and with a leap from his powerful legs he makes the distance in time to cling properly to the ropes without so much as a friction burn to his precious hands. Zoro clings a little tighter to the rope as Sanji jostles the whole swathe of rigging.

"I'm fine cook, I don't need you-" Zoro begins to say, his trademark scowl creeping onto his features.

"Shut your shitty mouth, this isn't about what you need." Sanji snipes back, swinging himself onto Zoro's side of the rigging and easily climbing up to his level. Zoro rests his head on his arm again.

"So you need to be close to me then?" Zoro questions, a small and somewhat smug smile pulling at his lips.

"Marimo's shouldn't question real people. Go on with what you were saying." Sanji evades. It's not that he's scared for Zoro or that he thinks that Zoro needs his comfort but... well. Perhaps Zoro isn't too far wrong, maybe he wants to just be close to Zoro so that he feels better himself.

"Told him to cut... here." Zoro says, his fingers on his breastbone and pulling the neck of his shirt down somewhat to do it. Sanji's eyes run along the jagged and snarled edges of Zoro's scar, or as much of it that he can see at any rate.

Some people might be put off by that huge scar, they might consider it a flaw. It's certainly not as smooth a scar as it could have been. If they had been in Chopper's company back then Sanji is sure that Zoro's scar would be soft and even, faded dark scar tissue that'd be smooth to the touch. Instead Zoro's scar is uneven, skin healed together and pulled apart as Zoro overdid himself time and again before he had a chance to heal. It's worst up by his shoulder, right where Sanji can see it as Zoro's neckline hangs loosely, leaving his skin up to the warm sun. He ripped it open several times with the torsion of his shoulders as he fought. Sanji remembers being back to back with him at Arlong Park and being stunned that any human being could still be alive after what Mihawk had done to him, much less be in any state to fight. Zoro hadn't been in any state to fight of course, but he'd done it anyway.

As Zoro's cut healed at different speeds and times with added injuries the wound has snarled up. Up by his shoulder the scar is almost crinkled, his skin pulled apart from the skin on the other side at regular points as if straining and threatening to burst against stitches that have long since been removed. In between those stretches of skin are healed up dark red patches of flesh that grew in the gaps to keep Zoro's insides inside him and his outsides outside. The scar isn't pretty. Nothing about Zoro is. His injuries, both old and new. Hell, the back of his head looked like mincemeat not too far in the past. His feet are stitched back onto his legs like some horrific Frankenstein's monster. Zoro should not be attractive, but Sanji has never felt so physically drawn to another person in his whole life. This goes deeper than the attraction to a beautiful lady. Sanji wants all of Zoro, he wants the history behind each supposedly aesthetically unappealing mark and all of the man that wears them.

A powerful urge to kiss the other man wells up inside him. He leans forward but then stops, looking up at Zoro.

"Can… can I kiss you?" Sanji asks, looking up at Zoro, his mouth level with Zoro's scar. He could straighten up and look Zoro level in the eye and ask, but the magnetic pull of that scar is too much for him.

"Why do you even want to?" Zoro says with a frown.

Sanji represses down the snap answer of 'I just fucking do, ok?!' and 'because I like you, dumbfuck' and instead gives his real reason.

"Because…" He starts, reaching out and touching his hand to the scar, just his fingertips. The rough textured edge under his fingers sends shivers up his spine and he runs his fingers along it as he speaks.

"This scar is the reason that I'm here. I love this scar." He admits in the quietest of voices.

Zoro says nothing but his stare says it all. 'What?'

"When I saw you and Luffy fight that day… when he fought for the Baratie and you fought Mihawk." Sanji says, the memory of it bubbling to the top of his mind like air in boiling water. He can't stop the churn of it or the way the speed of it only increases.

"For you that was the day you learnt how far that you had to go, for Luffy it was the day I agreed to join the crew, for Zeff it was the day that he and his family nearly died defending the Baratie and he sent me out to chase our dream. But that wasn't what that day was to me."

"I gave up on my dream long before you two got to me. I believed in All Blue ever since I first heard of it, I've dreamed of it a thousand times, touched it and felt it in my head and in my heart. I know that it's out there and I wanted to find it." He says, with determination and fire inside his heart burning from deep in his stomach through to the very core of him.

"But… Zeff saved my life. He had no crew, no ship, no friends or family to speak of and because of me he lost his leg too. His weapons were gone and he couldn't go back to the Grand Line, he couldn't find All Blue because of me. I still owe him that, I always will. By then I'd resolved to give up my dream, my debt to him was too high and I wanted to be by his side, to repay him however I could. I was happy there too of course but… I had given it up." Sanji says. It had left a hollow place inside his chest that ached if he thought about it, so he'd stopped talking about All Blue as much as he could because it only hurt. But as soon as he set foot on Merry he found himself whole again and he didn't ache any more.

"Then you showed up, acting like a cocky son of a bitch and walking around like you owned the joint along with that rubber moron. Then when it all came down to it the pair of you just threw yourselves into everything like… like it didn't matter if you lived or died." Sanji sighs in exasperation. He leans his head against one of the ropes and rubs his finger over a dip in the scar, feeling it under his sensitive fingertips.

"I told you to give it up. Do you remember that? I said that your stupid dream was going to get you killed and that it was easy to give it up if you chose to." He asks, looking Zoro in the eye.

"Yeah, it made me want to punch you in the face." Zoro says with an easy shrug that makes Sanji laugh. Quite frankly he is surprised that Zoro didn't do just that.

"It's not easy though. I had forced myself to give up on my dream and it took effort every day to pretend like it didn't matter. Seeing the two of your made me realize just how hard I'd been working to do it. I saw you go out to fight him and how you nearly died. I kept shouting that it wasn't worth your life but I don't know if you even heard me." Sanji says, the words pouring out of him now. Zoro shakes his head, no, he hadn't heard. Presumably he was in a space where nothing in the world mattered besides him, Mihawk and his dream.

"I saw you get cut in half and I thought you were dead. But you were so stubbornly dedicated to a dream that you wouldn't even go down from something that should have killed you. Whilst I was so busy trying to kill my dream yours was trying to kill you and it failed at it just as bad as I did. I figured that if Luffy could have such faith in you and that stupid idiot assurance that his dream will happen then something had to be going on there. You didn't care about your life because some things are more important. If I hadn't seen that… seen this, then I wouldn't be here." Sanji admits, almost digging his fingers into Zoro's scar.

"You just walk around with that scar that threw my life around like- mph!" Sanji is thoroughly cut off as Zoro attempts to either kiss him or to headbutt him off of the rigging, he's not quite sure which it is.

Zoro's hand wrenches a handful of Sanji's shirt and crushes it in his hand so hard that Sanji almost can't breathe because the room in his neckline is constrained by Zoro's grip. Zoro hauls him in whilst Sanji flails for a steadier hold on the rigging. The other man doesn't so much as kiss him as he licks the inside of Sanji's mouth in one thick stripe that says mine.

A reedy whine emanates from Sanji's throat and Zoro swallows it from him, his mouth sealed so tightly to Sanji's that the cook couldn't get a sound out if he wanted to.

He can only react, to follow Zoro as the other man leads because Sanji has no idea where this is going. The two of them are balanced so precariously and so high up that either one of them could fall and fall hard. The rigging jolts with every movement, it ripples as the ship crests and breaks on the waves around them. The whole world is moving around them and the only thing that seems to be a constant is Zoro against him.

When Zoro breaks from him, he leans back a little before raising a hand to Sanji's face and shoving his fingers into Sanji's hair. With one confident movement he pushes back Sanji's hair so that his whole face is visible. It's a stupid thing really. It's just hair. Nothing more. Somehow though Sanji feels like Zoro may as well have jammed his hand between Sanji's ribs and rubbed up against his still beating heart.

Zoro stares at him, gold eyes boring into both of Sanji's blue ones at once and though Sanji opens his kiss bruised mouth to speak he can't find the words. His brain seems to rifle through his entire vocabulary and come up empty handed with a shrug. This must be what Zoro feels like.

"What?" Sanji utters. A sentence fragment that barely means anything. It's not even what he meant to say. He meant… he meant…

Why did he do that?

What does it mean?

When did he change his mind?

"Fuck. You." Zoro growls.

Sanji blinks in stunned silence, his face still held between Zoro's palms as he hangs onto the rigging with one elbow and a foot. Is that an insult or a suggestion?

"Fuck… fuck owing." Zoro adds.

"I don't… what?" Sanji manages.

"I- ugh. Hold on, I need-" Zoro grumbles and the marimo squeezes his eyes shut. When Zoro speaks again his fingers don't tap but Sanji feels each finger on his left hand move with the beat of his words, pressing into Sanji's skin and marking him with the words.

"You. Don't. Owe. Shit." A pulse of words to Sanji's artery, jawbone, skull and temple.

"You don't owe Zeff." Another four presses of skin to skin.

"You don't owe me." Again.

"Just you, only you." And again.

Sanji's head is buzzing with words but Zoro seems to get his own under control. He opens his eyes again and stares Sanji down.

"You do what you want. Didn't give you your dream. It's not here." Zoro asserts, taking one hand off of Sanji's face and placing it instead over his scarred chest.

"It's here." He says, jabbing Sanji in the chest, right over his heart.

"You don't- don't owe anyone for your dream. Me… Zeff… Luffy…" Zoro shakes his head.

"Yours." He says firmly.

"You want it, not cause you owe it to someone. Do what you want, don't run on debts." The man tells him.

"I want this." Sanji says quietly and as he says it he doesn't know if he's speaking about his dream or about this nebulous thing that he and Zoro have between them. The way that he loves Zoro, the electric that holds them together and Zoro's reserve keeping them apart.

"You were the one who said you thought you owed me though. Remember." Sanji points out. Zoro had said it after all, that he didn't know if he wanted Sanji for the sake of wanting him or if he felt he owed him for giving him his voice back.

Zoro's face suggests that he hadn't thought of that when he was telling Sanji not to credit him for breathing life back into his dream. That Sanji couldn't look at Zoro's scar and remember that every drop of blood that Zoro shed with him still impossibly alive became a transfusion of life to the dream that Sanji had bled dry and stuffed into a casket. Zoro didn't give Sanji his dream, he didn't create it or encourage him to follow it. If anything Zoro was condescending about Sanji's potentially lifesaving advice.

Zoro doesn't have an answer for him. Sanji looks away, out into the sea and Zoro's hands fall from him.

"I'm not saying that I owe you. Just because I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done what you did doesn't mean that I owe you. All you did was let me watch you and you couldn't demand any debt from me for that if you tried. But that doesn't mean that the scar on your chest isn't leading me exactly where I want to go." He says, almost angry in his tone.

Zoro cocks his head and looks at him. He leans back a little so that his scar is stretched out. He takes his free hand and starts at the top of his scar, running down over his clothes, over his shirt, the shitty belly warmer and onto his trousers to just above his hip where the scar tails off.

"Into my pants you mean?" Zoro grins, broad and showing every smug tooth in his fucking mouth and Sanji really wants to shove his foot in there instead.

"NO. To All Blue!" He snaps.

A pause.

He may as well fuck with Zoro's head whilst he's at it.

"But a detour into your pants wouldn't be unappreciated." He says with a lecherous grin that makes Zoro go red, a hard job considering just how much Zoro invaded his mouth earlier.

"Pervert cook." Zoro mutters, leaning back into the rigging and sitting on one rung, facing out to sea with his arms looped through it at his sides. Sanji mimics his posture and for a while the two of them stare out at the ocean.

"Robin tried to catch me. Chopper saved my life and Franky put me back together. Brook gave me music." Zoro says after a while, but it feels almost like he says it to the sky and the sea and that Sanji is just overhearing it.

"You…" Zoro frowns.

"You heard me, even when I couldn't say anything. You gave me words and made me use them. I can't repay that. What can I give you?" Zoro says, sounding lost. Though for a change it's an emotional kind of directionless rather than physical.

"I'll let you know if I ever work out what to give Zeff. But if I don't owe you for getting me on this ship, then you don't owe me for helping you fix this." Sanji tells him, reaching over and giving the dull metal plate at the back of Zoro's head a sharp flick with his finger that actually makes the metal ring.

"Well, shit." Zoro remarks blankly.

"Guess I'm out for excuses." He says.

"Out of excuses and fuck you. I don't want your excuses or your reasons. If you want this say yes and if you don't then say no. It won't kill me, I'm not so weak and you ought to- MPH!" Sanji is cut off yet again, but this time by Zoro's hand instead of his mouth.

Sanji glares and sticks his tongue through the gap of Zoro's fingers, making the other man wince in disgust and pull his hand away.

"Shut it." Zoro snaps.

"YOU shut it!" Sanji retorts.

Between them one day they might come up with an intelligent argument.

"No, you- agh. Let me talk!" The swordsman groans, tipping his face skywards as if to implore the heavens for strength in the taxing task of having to talk to his nakama.

"I don't risk shit for things that aren't dreams." Zoro tells him.

Sanji scowls and feels a hurt and hot kind of anger rise in his chest. Zoro can't even put it in a nicer way than that? What an asshole!

"Then don't." He tells him curtly and prepares to jump from Zoro's rigging back to his own. He doesn't want to be here anymore.

"AGH. STOP IT!" Zoro yells, grabbing Sanji by the thigh and hauling him close, making Sanji scrabble for the ropes to avoid his own high fall onto his head. The crew doesn't need more brain damaged crew members.

"I mean I don't-" Zoro presses his head to Sanji's thigh. It throws the cook off balance and he has to put his hand on Zoro's head to steady himself. Under his fingers smooth metal radiates heat and as always, protects what Zoro is inside.

If the two of them are going to live their lives like this, hanging in midair before a fall or clinging to rigging in a wind on a rough sea. If they live only a second away from a sword in the chest or a shoe to the back of the head then do they really have time to argue over the details or to let anger or pride derail them?

He waits.

"I had a reason to stay away, but now I don't and…" Zoro says into the fabric of Sanji's trousers.

Sanji doesn't try to fill in Zoro's sentence, to put words in his mouth or tell him what he means to say. Zoro hates when people do that. He needs to listen. But, he doesn't always do what he needs to do or what he knows that he should do. Sometimes he just does what he wants to do when he wants it.

"And you think I should follow that scar of yours into your pants?" Sanji asks him with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

Zoro stares at him for a second and then punches him in the meat of his thigh, hard enough to make Sanji's leg tingle.

"YOU BASTARD! I was trying to- to- to. SHIT. I was saying something- and I couldn't get the words and you- fucking curly browed moron!" Zoro howls at him. Sanji drops to the rung below him, resting both hands on Zoro's thighs. He stands up on tiptoes, the rope under his feet straining as he does so. He gets right up in Zoro's face and grins.

"Yeah, but you love me." He says. An echo of his confession, of Zoro's teasing and of the truth.

Zoro stares at him, golden eyes wide before rolling in an exaggerated display of annoyance.

"Luckily for you." Zoro mutters and kisses him. This time not a passionate thing or an attempt to get inside his skin. This time it's just a gentle and soft kiss, almost innocent. Sanji smiles into it and pulls back to look at Zoro, his hands on the other man's knees.

The wind shifts and the rigging moves and suddenly Sanji's center of balance is not where it should be. He feels that lightness, the suspense in the air, the moment of time before gravity catches up before a fall, where he just seems to hang there, staring at Zoro.

"I got you." Zoro says, his hand tight in Sanji's shirt, holding him from falling and landing and who knows what else. Zoro's got him. But more than that, Zoro gets him. He gets Zoro too and he's got his back. Regardless of how long it takes, if it happens at all, for Zoro to recover completely he'll be there. If marines ever imply that Zoro is lesser or stupid because Zoro is too amped up to put words out to them then Sanji will just tell them that Zoro doesn't waste his words on people that aren't worth them.

He's got Zoro and they both know it. All it took was four near death experiences. Perhaps they could stand to be quicker learners.

Still.

"Say it again." Sanji asks, leaning in, his balance safe again although Zoro's hand doesn't release him. He takes his hand up to Zoro's face and rests his fingers on Zoro's mouth and feels the pattern of it burn into his brain as Zoro says it.

"I got you."


End file.
